Run Your Mouth

Democrats win the House and Senate, Trump says it's not a defeat because he wasn't on the ballot, and Rob announces the only party he could ever support: the To Hell With This Party. He also offers Trump a deal: unlimited redecorating in exchange for doing nothing else. Plus the Habba $50 million pardon contract, "very little war," secret strikes on Qeshm Island, the Mossad bragging about its own sneakiness, Trump's Israel aid cutoff, Megyn Kelly on Fox News, and Kansas ranchers burned by a policy change.

Bonus episodes: RobBernsteinComedy.com | Porch Tour: porchtour.com | Sheath Underwear, code RYM

Ilhan Omar’s sham-marriage story is back. The New York Times now reports that federal agents found evidence her ex-husband was her brother, and her big answer on camera is “not to my knowledge.” Rob breaks down why he thinks she’s going down.

Also in this episode:

• Instacart pays $5M to settle claims it rigged H-1B/PERM hiring against American applicants
• Cops fired for using Flock cameras to stalk their exes
• The five-day press secretary’s Piers Morgan comeback
• How tariffs and grift became top voter issues
• Trump defends the Ramaswamy ad featuring the opponent’s mother
• Talk of new Iran strikes after the midterms
• Zelensky on Trump’s sanctions whiplash
• James O’Keefe’s Minnesota vouching video

The full FBI entrapment deep dive is on the paywall at RobBernsteinComedy.com. It’s $5/month.

🎤 Porch Tour dates (Tampa, West Palm Beach, Louisiana, NYC, and more): PorchTour.com
👕 Merch: RobBernsteinMerch.com
🩲 Sheath Underwear: 20% off with promo code [RYM]

The empire's crumbling and everyone on the inside is grabbing what they can: Guilfoyle's Amex payment, the Secret Service drone-company guy, Trump staffers lawyering up, and Netanyahu teasing round two in Iran. Plus we were wrong about the hot iguana, France's mostly peaceful protests, rooftop Koreans as global peacekeepers, Trump's mental aptitude test, a Covid clinic's bogus new patient fee, Zelensky's interview eyes, Starshield going dark, and new alibi footage in the J6 pipe bomber case.

Porch Tour + FBI Entrapment Scheme tickets: thefiretix.com

Paywall episodes ($5/mo): RobBernsteinComedy.com

Merch: RobBernsteinMerch.com

Sheath Underwear: code [RYM] for 20% off

Live in Austin after my FBI entrapment presentation, Scott Horton fact-checks the show and goes deeper. We get into:

• The Oklahoma City informants and the Garland attack
• Whether MKUltra ever worked
• Liberty City Seven, the Fort Dix pizza plot, and Lodi’s “pole-vaulting terrorists”
• The warrant the FBI refused on Moussaoui before 9/11
• How chasing PR cases let Tsarnaev and the Fort Hood shooter slip through

Plus Scott’s top 5 deep state actors of all time: Wilson, Perle, the Dulles brothers, Kissinger, and Brennan.

Scott: scotthorton.org, antiwar.com, the Libertarian Institute, and Provoked with Darryl Cooper.
Rob: RobBernsteinComedy.com, RobBernsteinMerch.com

Rob takes over as Chief Economist of BS and reports the indicators: hotels, airports, a 600mg cold brew, and a college show shut down by a hallway monitor. In the news: the Hormuz recovery that didn't last, Trump's ceasefires that only exist because he said so, the Russian diesel deal, Guilfoyle's $100K Amex ask, Schumer's midterm pitch, and a federal judge ruling a warrantless Flock search unconstitutional.

Bonus episodes: RobBernsteinComedy.com | Porch Tour: porchtour.com | Sheath Underwear, code RYM

Corporations are using AI to jack your prices, so it's time for the left to weaponize cheapness. Also: Sydney Sweeney's conversion, the new airport line before the line, California's breakfast cancer sign, Trump and Xi, taxpayer-funded Trump ads, Ossoff and Hawley's lane for the next election, insurance companies delaying care, and a Flock horror story straight from the Senate hearing. Full show at RobBernsteinComedy.com.

Live dates:www.porchtour.com

Sponsor: sheath.com promocode: RYM

The White House boots the press and launches Trump TV, and Rob pitches himself as program director with a lineup including Pardon Me, Front Running the Market and Trump's Tanning Hour. Also: the press pool was always an exclusive club, Leavitt admits it's all a show, Iran at the UN, the Greenland "deal," a Naperville cop accused of stalking a man with Flock cameras, what else those cameras can search for, Gemini going rogue, the AI civil war that might save humanity, and Bernie's Department of AI. Plus a Hyrox athlete whose bravery deserves its own Depends ad.

www.robbernsteincomedy.com for more episode.

Robbernsteinmerch.com for tees and stuff

www.porchtour.com for live gigs

www.sheath.com Promocode: RYM

Big Tech says AI is too dangerous, so the government should step in and help them slow down. Rob argues it's really a play for an AI Federal Reserve: a protected cartel with a bailout waiting when the valuations fall apart. Also: James Comer auditions for Epstein cover-up guy, Trump blames the Biden FBI for Butler, and reality embarrasses him on Iran and Ukraine within days. Then the Lindsay Clancy holdout juror reveal breaks a news anchor's brain, and Oprah kicks off the victim-class Olympics.

Paywalled segments and full episodes at robbernsteincomedy.com ($5/month). Porch Tour dates at porchtour.com.

20% off at sheath.com with code RYM.

Trump says the Iran war is "small potatoes" and has downgraded it to "intermittent" — the thing you say about a marriage you're riding out until the kids are gone. The White House wants it quiet until the midterms. Plus the arcade games that would actually fit this administration, the case for the great influencer ban, why I want a wifebot, what Iran does with the gear we leave behind, and a fact-check on our own tariff math.Full episodes and the paywalled segments: RobBernsteinComedy.comMerch: RobBernsteinMerch.comPorch Tour Dates: porchtour.com

A jury can't decide what to do about a woman who killed her three kids, so the women of TikTok have solved it for them: it was the husband, because husbands don't go to CVS. And given the Pluto placement that day, no Leo would have done this. It defies the science of all astrology.

Also in this one: Trump renames Lake Ontario to Lake America and somebody's getting rich printing the new maps. The Venezuela oil deal broken down as what it really is — a headline with no article attached — including the $80/barrel break-even, the $100 billion buildout, and the five-to-seven years before any of it reaches the market, set against the $150 billion already spent on Iran. The Supreme Court greenlights the ballroom without ruling on whether it was legal, because the wrong person asked. Massie's second attempt at the Epstein files. A Fauci email that was supposed to be deleted twice. And a full Tales From The Flock: felony charges over a fake camera, drones over the Flock convention, Hawley's investigation, and the Officer of the Year whose award didn't survive his ex-girlfriend.

Live porch shows: porchstore.comMerch: robbernsteinmerch.comPaywalled after-show, $5/mo: robbernsteincomedy.com