Have you ever asked your toddler to put on their shoes, only to be met with a firm “no” or outright refusal? You’re not alone. In this episode, we’re diving into Dr. Gordon Neufeld’s concept of counterwill—a developmentally normal, instinctive response to feeling controlled. Counterwill isn’t defiance for the sake of defiance; it’s a protective mechanism that helps toddlers assert their autonomy while preserving their psychological boundaries.

We’ll explore why this behavior shows up most strongly during toddlerhood and how it’s tied to attachment. You’ll learn practical, connection-based strategies to navigate these moments, from playful approaches to respecting your child’s autonomy with simple choices. By shifting from control to connection, you can turn resistance into cooperation while fostering a deeper bond with your child.

Plus, Alicia shares a little weekend magic as she recounts taking her six-year-old to Taylor Swift’s Final Eras Tour

Tune in for practical advice, relatable stories, and a reminder that parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about leading with love.

Alicia & Aleni are both Moms and certified infant and toddler sleep specialists who don't use traditional sleep training methods to support the families that they work with.

Follow along on social media for more sleep without sleep training tips.

⁠Alicia's Instagram⁠

⁠Alicia's Tiktok⁠

⁠Aleni's Instagram⁠

Work with Alicia & Aleni