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Fear of Man, also known as people pleasing, is the common struggle Brenda and Alex take us through this week. We are reminded that we were created to be known and know others deeply - but people pleasing distorts that into an inordinate desire for approval or inordinate fear of disapproval. These desires and fears can lead people into patterns of overcommitment, excessive worrying, over sensitivity, and over achievement. All of these traps can happen when we take good things and turn them into things we worship. We can begin to worship what others think of us, or what we can achieve, more than we trust in God and His plans for us. 

Alex and Brenda explain that the way out of people pleasing behaviors isn’t to love ourselves more; it is to reorient ourselves to love biblically. When we walk in the truth that God loves us, and we love Him, we don’t need to fear man’s opinions or judgements. The process of letting go of those fears and desires may cause disruption in our minds and our lives; but it will allow us to go back to gospel truth of how we are called to love God and love others. Our ability to love well is based on our ability to understand that we are loved well. Once we understand we are loved well, we can begin to live from God’s approval even if others do not approve. Only by overcoming fear with love can we continue to grow in spiritual maturity.

Lou Priolo's People Pleasing Inventory and his booklet Fear: Breaking Its Grip.

Ed Welch's book When People are Big and God is Small.

Listen to Paul Tripp's Eternity Amnesia here.

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This podcast is made possible by engineers and producers ⁠⁠Zachary Tate Smith⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠Shane Selby⁠⁠, executive producer ⁠⁠Meleah Smith⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠generous donors⁠⁠.

⁠⁠Known Ministries⁠⁠ is ⁠⁠Alex Kocher⁠⁠ and Brenda Payne. This fourth season of Conversational Counseling is called "Wisdom for life's common struggles.”