Sacrilegious Discourse - Bible Study for Atheists

The Reign of Uzziah.

This guy did good most of his life but then at the end he got the slightest bit uppity so God gave him the leprosy, and, when he died, he was not buried in the City of David, even tho his father, a much worse shit-heel, did get to be buried with the other kings. This story is not cool and Wife rants about the unfairness of it all.

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Husband and Wife talk about Santa and try to decide if he's naughty or nice. We conclude that a holiday focused on family and magic is wonderful , while consumerism, trickery, and pointless lies are bullshit. Santa can stay but y'all gotta keep it real.

In the second half, we discuss our passionate hatred of Elf on the Shelf, in a bonus portion for Patreon members only.

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Husband and Wife answer questions about the City of David. Did it really exist? YES. Do we know where it is? Nah. Is there a theme park which purports to be the actual Biblical site? Yup. And does Wife need to visit this magical playland? Abso-fkn-lutely!

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The Reign of Amaziah.

Hooray for Amaziah! Just kidding. We're not cheering for this turd nugget. He was warned by a prophet of the Lord to fire his mercenaries, which he did, but then he worshipped the idols of the dudes he defeated in war. What an absolute moron. In unrelated news, Wife found the advertisement for Beefaroni that she keeps singing. Very excitement, much happy.

https://youtu.be/euo086SUjls

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The Reign of Joash of Judah.

We're thinking that Joash wasn't really the ruler — Jehoiada the priest was probably calling all the shots and being a good leader, cuz once he died, little Jojo started living it up and getting down with the Asherah poles. Jehoiada's son tried to warn him, for which he got stoned, but not the good kind of stoned. We also talk about what kind of posters we had on our walls as teenagers.

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Athaliah Usurps the Throne (cont).

Jehoiada the priest puts on his big-boy pants and teams up with five other guys to take down that wicked witch Athaliah. They put a crown on a kid, and kill Athaliah out where the horses go poopy. It's like the best day ever, only without Netflix, Animal Crossing, wine coolers, Britney Spears, audio books, or Sharpies.

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The Reign of Ahaziah of Judah / Jehu Kills Ahaziah / Athaliah Usurps the Throne.

Ahaziah of Judah is evil, but he and his buddy Joram of Israel get murdered by Jehu of Jezreel. Ahaziah's mama seizes this moment to kill the rest of Ahaziah's fam (maybe in retribution for when Ahaziah murdered her other sons, his own brothers?), but Ahaziah's sister Jehosheba hides away Ahaziah's youngest son Joash.

This is just as confusing now as it was the first time we read it in one of those Bookses of Kingses.

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Bible Study for Atheists Weekly is a collection of last week's episodes by Sacrilegious Discourse with Husband and Wife. This week's collection includes 2 Chronicles Chapters 16 - 20, with Q&A.

Sorry this came out late... We were dealing with a lot this weekend and Wife was sick to boot, so this episode got overlooked until today.

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The Reign of Jehoram of Judah.

Jehoshaphat somehow had no idea that his oldest son was a murdery pagan, so he gave him the keys to the kingdom before he died. Jehoram was a right sumbitch and no one was sorry to see him go.

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Husband and Wife answer questions about the Valley of Blessings, Hanani the seer, and King Asa's rot foot. Gout is no laughing matter, y'all!

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