Sacrilegious Discourse - Bible Study for Atheists

The Reign of Abijah.

Somehow Abijah is able to project his voice across a crowd of 800,000 soldiers. But that's not even the unbelievable part. His guys give a battle cry so God is like, "Judah, I choose YOU" and they beat an army like twice their size. Our irritation with the Chronicler is beyond measure, eclipsing the amount of stars in the sky, too hefty to count, and more numerous than all the grains of sand. Very anger.

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Shishak's Invasion of Judah.

Rehoboam abandoned the Law of the Lord. Rehoboam humbled himself to the Lord. Rehoboam had evil in his heart. Rehoboam died. What a roller coaster.

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Israel's Revolt (cont.) / The Prosperity of Rehoboam.

Whereas Solomon traveled all over the place making business wives and partnering with tons of concubines, his son Rehoboam is stuck at home prepping for war and, in the absolute worst iteration of fuck-marry-kill, hooking up with his cousins. The Levites all ran off to Judah so they could do priestly types of things.

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Bible Study for Atheists Weekly is a collection of last week's episodes by Sacrilegious Discourse with Husband and Wife. This week's collection includes 2 Chronicles Chapters 6 - 10, with Q&A and Sacrilegious Book Club.

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Wise Men, Part 2 of A Treasury of Jewish Folklore

in this episode of the Sacrilegious Book Club. Topics include the Angel of Death; the ancient art of reasoning; the senseless of borrowing worry when there are Always Two Possibilities; and the truth about ugly people.

Next time we will continue to cover some entries from Heroes: Wise Men. We hope you'll get a copy of the book and read along with us.

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Israel's Revolt.

Solomon's son Rehoboam drinks beer with Justice Kavanaugh and them good 'ol boys talk about how their dicks are thicker than their pinkies. Then they threaten to beat the slaves with scorpions because that seems like good incentive to hush the rabble. The slaves are like, Bye Felicia, and they stone the boss man. Rehoboam runs away crying like a little bitch.

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The Queen of Sheba Visits Solomon / Solomon's Riches and Fame / The Death of Solomon.

We get really off topic in this one when Wife rants about obligatory gift-giving. We declare our affinity for Blaine the Mono's penchant for riddles. The Chronicler, in an astonishing display of childishness, equates money to wisdom. The Queen of Sheba doesn't bathe in this chapter; indeed, she's barely a blip on the Wise-Ass Solomon's radar.

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Solomon's Further Activities.

Gentle reminder that "appointed" and "conscripted" and "forced labor" are all forms of SLAVERY which is a despicable practice. Second note: menstruation is a natural function and should be normalized in society, not demonized and hidden as something shameful. Third thing: Wife said "women" with regard to menstruation, and she would like to correct that error: Not all women menstruate, and not all people who menstruate are women. My deepest apologies to trans and non-binary individuals as we value you and do not ever wish to exclude you from the conversation. About this chapter: Solomon did wars and built things. Ho-hum.

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