Sacrilegious Discourse - Bible Study for Atheists

The Dedication of the Temple (cont.) / The LORD's Covenant with Solomon.

Residual David is still around and we are super sick of him. Solomon sacrifices an entire species worth of goats, and God is so excited he lights himself on fire. Jareth says to Sarah in the movie Labyrinth, "I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave." This pretty much sums up what God asks of the Israelites. It's a ridiculous ask in BOTH cases, but at least with Labyrinth we get a good movie. The Bible, on the other hand... not so much.

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The Dedication of the Temple.

Wife brings to life this stupidly lengthy prayer by reading in her best southern televangelist accent, which it turns out isn't very good at all. That's okay, tho, because the prayer ain't all that great either. Residual David gets more time than Solomon, further proof that the Chronicler is both a douche and a liar.

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Bible Study for Atheists Weekly is a collection of last week's episodes by Sacrilegious Discourse with Husband and Wife. This week's collection includes 2 Chronicles Chapters 1 - 5, with Q&A and Sacrilegious Book Club.

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Wise Men, Part 2 of A Treasury of Jewish Folklore

In this episode of the Sacrilegious Book Club. Topics include  Why Jerusalem was destroyed; the universality of religious arguments; empathy and compassion; parables; instruction versus solace; The Poor Man's Miracle; the timelessness of human failure; a lack of planning; and hope as the bigger picture. Next time we will continue to cover some entries from Heroes: Wise Men. We hope you'll get a copy of the book and read along with us.

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Husband and Wife cover questions about the Tribe of Dan, who are one of the Ten Lost Tribes of Israel, and who will eventually bring forth the Antichrist. Sounds legit.

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The Furnishings for the Temple (cont.) / Solomon Brings the Ark into the Temple.

Residual David just can't resist popping up again. We talk about apples, Johnny 5, Hudson Hawk, special tents, fart clouds, and true love. Wife sings a bit and ngl, it's actually kinda awesome. Happy Black Friday — keep it decent out there on them streets, y'all!

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The Furnishings for the Temple. 

David is truly dead, you guys! David has left the chat! Ding dong, the David's dead! Also, it wasn't Solomon who built everything with his own two hands. It was my guy Huram-abi, a swell fella who really gets shit done — where "shit" equals bronze and gold. And pomegranates! So many feets of pomegranates! Happy ThanksTaking, all you turkeys!

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Solomon Builds the House of the LORD / The Two Pillars.

Residual David only makes a brief entry, so perhaps his death is actually final and we can leave him to rest in his grave? According to the Chronicler, Solomon builds All The Things with his own two hands, so we're curious why he needed slaves and craftsmen. Husband learns about columns and capitals, and Wife gets excited about pomegranates. Solomon's feets perform several feats measuring many feets in height.

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Solomon's Agreement with King Huram.

Residual David is still in the chat. Solomon decides out of the blue to build himself a temple, so he sets up a trade deal with a neighboring king, and enslaves tens of thousands of foreigners to do all the work. He also hires a master craftsman who is able to do like Every Art Ever, because he got a liberal arts degree from the tribe of Dan.

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Solomon's Prayer for Wisdom / Solomon's Trade in Horses and Chariots.

Residual David still makes an appearance cuz the Chronicler is like,  "Why can't I quit you?!" Solomon is a wise ass and sells horses to support his habit.

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