We’re back. Kind of. Bear with us while we figure out what we’re doing.

You know that thing where you

In 1974, Hungarian dickwad Erno Rubik stole a concept & mechanism that would form the foundation of the world’s greatest-selling toy – the Cube that bore his name. Today we jump into the hilarious and seedy worlds of; foot-cubing, patent litigation, terrifying sentient cube animations (that are both blatant Scooby Doo rip-offs AND racially progressive), Red Bull’s attempts to make the “emerging” sport of cubing EXTREME and professional poker players being nimrods on Survivor.

*Invented by, and stolen from, Larry D. Nichols.

LINKS!
Magical advertising from the 80s:
https://youtu.be/AxU7e0qHk4o

Lovely Google Doodle:
https://youtu.be/NZGk5kwWKQU

Children’s Aquatic Death-trap/Adult Kink Mermaid Fins:
https://www.finfunmermaid.com/watercolor-waves-mermaid-tail

Nineties kids will never forget how close SEGA and Sonic the Hedgehog (aka Mr. Needlemouse) came to toppling the mighty Mario and Nintendo… well, not really – but their moment in the sun was glorious. From humble beginnings providing amusement to US Servicemen to the financial disaster that was Sydney’s SEGA World, join us as we celebrate the little blue guy who almost could.

Did you know that without ze Germans intercepting war-time British trade routes, we may never have improved on the slick black yeast prototype known as Marmite? OR, that if administered correctly to your baby, Vegemite can actually generate cheek lasers? Only one of these things is true – guess you’ll have to tune in to find out which, on an epic episode where Bonnie takes is on a Pulp Fiction-style jumbled timeline filled with; thick black history, hilarious facts about this beloved Aussie icon, its creator, its evolution and some doozies of missteps over the last hundred years.

Did we mention we’re fast and loose with facts? This week is a quick catch up where we do a little fact-checking with Kris Kross corrections, Pulp Fiction, body farms and canopic jars, Tim’s run-in with his future self, some soul-searching and a pervy tip for the perfect Christmas turkey.

We’ve all suffered the Twelve Days of Christmas carol ad nauseam, but have you ever stopped to consider the history of this excessively generous barrage of gift giving? And could you remember the full gift register of disparate live poultry and hired performers, in reverse, under pressure that if you forfeit it could result in a lingering, beery pash from your druncle as part of a post-feast memory game? This silly season it’s not all swans, lords a-leaping and golden rings; get those chestnuts roasting on an open fire and prepare yourself for a jolly visit from three creepy, merrymaking friends disguised in festive-yet-ghoulish pillowcase masks.

Mummers

Mummering describes the Christmastime practice of visiting several homes throughout an evening while dressed in a disguise. They might change their walk, talk, shape, or size—whatever it takes to make them unrecognizable to the hosts of the homes they visit. Once the hosts guess who the mummers are, they take off their masks and stay for a party or social.
View a heartwarming and terrifying gallery of Mummers

Star Wars Holiday Special (Complete, thank us later)

The Twelve Days of Christmas (The traditional version we all know and despise)

Twelve drummers drumming
Eleven pipers piping
Ten lords a-leaping
Nine ladies dancing
Eight maids a-milking
Seven swans a-swimming
Six geese a-laying
Five gold rings
Four calling birds
Three French hens
Two turtle doves
And a partridge in a pear tree

The Twelve Days of Christmas (The Sinatra Family Christmas version)

Twelve dozen kisses (it may be HUGS AND KISSES, but twelve dozen kisses are what the interwebs said).
Eleven jars of jelly
Ten silken (linen) hankies
Nine games of scrabble
Eight pairs of cufflinks
Seven books of fiction
Six woolen nightshirts
Five ivory combs
Four meerschaum pipes
Three golf clubs
Two silken scarfs
And a most lovely lavender tie

Heavy Metal Christmas (The Twelve Days of Christmas) – Twisted Sister
A Twisted Christmas is the seventh and final studio album by the American heavy metal group Twisted Sister.

Twelve silver crosses
Eleven black mascaras
Ten pairs of platforms
Nine tattered t-shirts
Eight pentagrams
Seven leather jackets
Six cans of hairspray
Five skull earrings
Four quarts of Jack
Three studded belts
Two pairs of spandex pants
And a tattoo of Ozzy…

Other notable versions

This week’s episode is about the heebie-jeebies! More specifically, the creeps you get when an animation or robot isn’t QUITE pulling off its attempt to pass for human. That’s right, we’re tackling the phenomenon known as The Uncanny Valley, which isn’t a physical place, but a location on a graph that measures creepiness against success of said attempts.

On the way we’ll; get to the bottom of why we get creeped out, go into detail of the forty year-old Japanese origins of the phenomenon, obviously explore sex robots, poo-poo some detractors and Tim both; gets into a rage over false paradoxes (Epimenides or die, baby!) and ruins The Lion King. Oh and Bonnie has got SEVERE beef with a Keanu Reeves..

Some Links:

You: They can’t talk about wigs for an hour?

Link to Teacher Tornholm’s YouTube

Dim the lights and cue the Barry White, Internet Roulette is getting sexy in the animal kingdom. Learn about some horrifyingly weird and icky animal sex organs with Bonnie! Obviously not for little kids’ ears. Unless you want to scar them forever then this is definitely the episode to do some damage. Hey, why not listen to it with your elderly parents and make an awkward family occasion of it? We also discuss how not to order like a prick in a restaurant and all that other nonsense we normally get up to, but it all kinda pales next to grab-dongs.