Sadness & Kebabs

This week, we learn a bit about leftovers, a bit about Tim, and perhaps a bit too much about Paulie’s ex-girlfriend. Tune in for another enlightening episode of Internet Roulette.

We started episode 9 by discussing how the commandments have been portrayed in popular culture, but somehow ended up in conversations about nazi monkeys, Thanos VS. non-Thanos methods of population control, and sexy babies. Oh and Tim tried to write his own commandments, which is a worry in itself.

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It’s time to make a podcast of 20 x 15 cm, and by that, I mean BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS. In our first double-header, Tim tackles the 10 Commandments – their origins, use, misrepresentation and ambiguity. Whether you know nothing about the commandments (e.g., there are actually 80+ of them), OR you’re a devout theologian who eats them for brekkie, get in. We’d love to hear from you either way.

We also made the executive decision not to include Tim rambling through the entire 80, but if you click HERE, you can download a link to his show notes, which are unedited/unabridged and include the commandments verbatim from the King James Bible, but you’ll have to navigate some of his scribbles in the margins, but who knows – you probably like that, you sicko.

A minute ago I thought hurling was a clever name for Warnie’s undercover antics, but now thanks to Bonnie’s torch of truth I can see it clearly for what it is – a prehistoric battle sport played by the Celtic megamen – a brutal Irish game that has survived for three thousand years that put hair on my chest just by listening. If you like sports, lubed battle-chess or shin-kicking ho-bags from Darwin, come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough.

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If you thought we couldn’t link one of the oldest banking families in Italy to Paris Hilton being attacked by her pet Kinkajou, then hi, we mustn’t have met – we’re fabulous, and we think you are too! Join us as Paulie takes point on a twisted journey that spans the ancient tradition of gifting and acquiring exotic animals as pets for rulers, Bieber’s first class monkey bubble and a woman raped by a camel. To death.

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Wonder why you only see people jumping from fiery skyscrapers onto nets in cartoons? It could have something to do with the staggering amount of busted skulls, idiotic aristocrats, girls who like to do everything together (including jump from great heights), mangled firemen and quite a bit of luggage that pounded the pavement and met gruesome ends during the hundred year farce of this misunderstood contraption. Join us as Bonnie wraps the scare quotes around “safety” nets.

22 years after a suspicious survival tale of whale-escapes and buffalo blood hydration in the Australian outback, the real-life inspiration for Mick “Crocodile” Dundee was torn to shreds by 12 gauge Northern Territory justice, after an amphetamine-fuelled rampage that saw several injured, a police officer dead and at least one hand blown clean off. So how in holy mothery fuck did that happen? Believe it or not, the French have a word for it, but let’s use several more to spelunk in the rabbit hole of one of Australia’s least-known terrible tales, and the discovery that Paul Hogan is human garbage.

If you only remember Kris Kross as a rambunctious 90s hip hop duo with backwards hoodies and a couple of hits, check yo head as Tim beats hell out of the darker side of gentrified rap culture, tales of teenage baldness and fatal drug overdoses – all accompanied by a borderline copyright infringement of the Mario-kart theme tune and a potential defamation lawsuit from Richard Attenborough.

If you, like us, didn’t know that Japanese ritualistic suicide involved a wingman whose responsibility it was to almost chop your fucking head off, you need to get in here. Join us as Bonnie dives deep on the ancient ceremony including the feminine side of harakiri and first-hand accounts from appalled Westerners. Get ya guts out.

Have you and your ghost-hunting buddies ever simultaneously and jointly misremembered something so massively you named a phenomenon after a deceased world leader? These dummies have, and to kick off the podcast we’re jumping down a rabbit hole that somehow traverses astral travelling, haunted cemeteries, holographic multiverses and the demonic potential of the large hadron collider. Welcome.