Sarah Talks Schmidt

Today’s episode is all about REAL Schmidt.  Sometimes I get really obsessed with things, and right now I'm all about the documentaries thanks to the Cheer train I got on with the rest of America.  I discuss how it all comes down to 2:15 on the mat, which Navarro cheerleader I am according to buzzfeed, and why Coach Monica is an angel sent from above.  Next I watch an avocado episode of Rotten on Netflix and it turns out I need to start purchasing conflict free avocados.  The golden globes tried to shame us into being vegans, but did they realize people are DYING over avocados?!? Yeah this Schmidt is Crazy. Finally, I watched Screwballs about the performance enhancement drug scandal and how Arod and super famous baseball players were brought down by arguably the dumbest person I’ve ever seen on a documentary.

Okay, you ready? Let's go.

Thanks for listening!  Follow me on Instagram at @skschmidt or like my Facebook page "Sarah Talks Schmidt."

It's episode 15 and she’s back! America’s favorite aunt, @officialauntcin, is here to talk everyone’s favorite TV show, or maybe the epitome of “what’s wrong with America,” the Season 8 premiere of Vanderpump Rules. I also read Demi Moore’s memoir Inside Out, so you don’t have to, and tell you all the best juice in 10 minutes or less instead of a 6 hour audible book – you’re welcome. Finally, I discuss last week’s sweaty Golden Globes and how if I were a celebrity I would rather be anywhere else than being shepherded off the stage by Pierce Bronson’s gangly sons or sitting next to Beyoncé’s wings.

Okay, you ready? Let's go.

Thanks for listening!  Follow me on Instagram at @skschmidt or like my Facebook page "Sarah Talks Schmidt."

Episode 14 will have you asking me "What’s your Netflix password?"  Do you have my Netflix password? Because I changed it today, I’ll probably hear from you by EOD for the new one. Then I talk Mandalorian.  Am I saying that right? Everyone says you must watch, so I watch and I tell you if it’s TOTAL Schmidt or THE Schmidt or maybe 50% Schmidt. Apparently, I need to know nothing about Star Wars to understand this show---we shall see.  Also, I talk how Instagram filters now offer life predictions, guess we don’t need Miss Cleo anymore.  Let's see what 2020 has in store for me according to Instagram. And finally – Crafty Schmidt.  I’m 35 going on 95 and taking over the needlepointing world. 95% of my accounts I follow are now people stitching by color, but if you are born a crafter you sometimes need to re-find your path, which is what I’m doing in 2020.

Okay, you ready? Let's go.

Thanks for listening!  Follow me on Instagram at @skschmidt or like my Facebook page "Sarah Talks Schmidt."

Today's episode is all about the most culturally important events of the last decade that shaped our lives, inspired us, and who am I kidding, this is a deep dive into the most scandalous, time wasting, and skeevy stuff of the decade.  On the last day of 2019 and the freaking DECADE -- I discuss my favorite headlines of each year and some of them weren't even that popular, but they changed my life OKAY? Okay, maybe they didn't change my life, but they kept me entertained, made me laugh, cry, or consumed me with having to know more. 

Okay, you ready? Let's go.

Thanks for listening!  Follow me on Instagram at @skschmidt or like my Facebook page "Sarah Talks Schmidt."

"Schmidt Saves Christmas" would be a better Hallmark Christmas movie than "Mistletoe and Menorahs" (a REAL holiday move and spoiler alert -- it was bad). In Episode 12, I talk how I am the ultimate gift giver of all time (and this is why I put so much pressure on others to get me good gifts) and can still save your Christmas, if you haven't finished shopping. Listen, it's hard to to get a gift they want, but didn't tell you about, but are still surprised by.  I also talk Schmidt I've been googling, which is a lot of Schmidt, but also gives you a glimpse into this scary mind of mine.  Finally, everyone's favorite segment "Controversial Schmidt" - I LOVE OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE and I will scream it from the rooftop.  You want the "best steak in the world" according to jayjaycub on TripAdvisor? Then you better go to the Kissimmee Outback location.

Okay, you ready? Let's go.

Thanks for listening!  Follow me on Instagram at @skschmidt or like my Facebook page "Sarah Talks Schmidt."

Today’s episode is all about the holiday season or as I like to call it “binge season” where everything is extra and there is no such thing as too much.  I talk about how I’ll be spending my “binge season” and all my favorite and least favorite Schmidt about the holidays.  Then I talk Krampus.  Do you have any idea what I’m talking about? Well, I’ll explain the best holiday mythological character of all time and how our parents got it wrong with only telling us about Santa, because we probably would have behaved more.  And finally our parents did get SOME things right because they didn’t have to do that Elf on the Shelf shit.  Is Santa not extra enough for you?  Did you really feel the need to go Extra AF and incorporate Elf?  

Okay, you ready? Let’s go.

Thanks for listening!  Follow me on Instagram at @skschmidt or like my Facebook page "Sarah Talks Schmidt."

Episode 10 I discuss a lot of "Conspiracy Schmidt."  First up–it's a Starbucks Conspiracy– Listen, Starbucks doesn’t want you to order in-person anymore because everyone is an extroverted introvert, and we don’t want to talk to each other.  Plus they’re tired of asking you how to spell your name. Next up, we're getting really controversial up in here–Jeffrey Epstein didn’t kill himself.  Okay, I don’t go that dark, but I review James Patterson's book “Filthy Rich: The Shocking True Story of Jeffrey Epstein” because I knew nothing about Jeff, the Lolita Express, Randy Andy, or Little St. Jeff’s.  Finally, Mel Gibson doesn’t deserve Schmidt.  Whenever I read #timesup #metoo #peopledoingdumbthingsandgettingawaywithit I always some how circle back to Mel Gibson, who seems to be made of Teflon?  How the hell did Mel Gibson get a second, third, fourth chance at fame/success/and all good things? I revisit his most famous quotes, some of which I can’t even say out loud, review Vox’s article on how he staged his comeback, and provide my three pillars for staging your comeback, should you ever need one. I told you–it’s Conspiracy Schmidt today.  Okay, you ready? Let’s go.

Thanks for listening!  Follow me on Instagram at @skschmidt or like my Facebook page "Sarah Talks Schmidt."

On Episode 8 it's another Edition of Corporate Schmidt --Office Schmidt gets political-- Sometimes things get testy at work and you need to know how to navigate.  Per usual I have no tips, but hey, we can still complain about it. I also discuss how Black Friday is no longer the Schmidt--it's dead. Black Friday is kind of like Cyber Monday, except it's Friday, and also Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and even Tuesday and you don't have to leave your house. I also share a throw back Black Friday for you--don't worry no one gets trampled.  Finally, Schmidt that is driving me crazy lately.  Can we stop making Julianne Hough happen (I accidentally called her Julianna the entire episode...oops)? Can reality shows be real and show people eating? Are you pretending not to like McDonalds? And, is there some kind of mom gang where you post pictures of your kids and bombard my feed?  It's all over, starting today.  Okay, you ready? Let’s go.

Thanks for listening!  Follow me on Instagram at @skschmidt or like my Facebook page "Sarah Talks Schmidt."

On today's episode I talk a lot of REAL Schmidt.  Like, what the hell are you doing in the shower for so long?  Because I'm always one minute into my seven minute conditioning process and have nothing left to do.  Then I move on to SERIOUS Schmidt, and help you prepare to play games with my family during the holiday season.  I walk through our tried and true rules of being allowed to participate, the number 1 rule being, DON'T BE A QUITTER.  But seriously, I want you to have fun, so I'll walk you through our family game playing rules, so you (and mostly me) can enjoy playing a game the next time you’re invited.  Finally, another edition of Scared Schmidtless...in Ubers.  I share some of my least favorite Uber rides and some of yours.  Trust me, I can't believe these are real life stories (don't worry everyone survived). Okay you ready? Let's go.

Thanks for listening!  Follow me on Instagram at @skschmidt or like my Facebook page "Sarah Talks Schmidt."

Guys, how are we even surviving in 2019?  Have we become too soft?  Nah, I think we've finally understood our worth, at least that's what I think Brene Brown would tell me.  Today's episode is 99% full of Schmidt (but only the best kind).  I talk #firstworldproblems and what is really driving us all crazy--and it's mostly the slow internet--but it's also not being able to pay in one click or wondering where your EZ Pass bills are (or maybe that's just me?!?!). I also talk travelling solo and worrying about being killed throughout the entire process, as well as "Controversial Schmidt," and placing my self solely on TEAM Q-Tip, DUH.  I mean, I know experts say don't use Q-Tips because it could lead to death or hearing loss (probably mostly hearing loss), but I can't stop, won't stop.  Never, ever, ever.

Thanks for listening!  Follow me on Instagram at @skschmidt or like my Facebook page "Sarah Talks Schmidt."