Savage Lovecast

Savage Lovecast Episode 1008


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When does subbing morph into self-harm? The relationship between a man and his much younger trans woman lover involves intense physical abuse. The girl has a wretched history, and engages in self harm. Although she gives consent, there's also a language barrier that makes everything they do seem out of control and destructive.

A bisexual woman took the plunge and came out to her conservative Catholic mother. Although her mother didn't completely melt down, she has a ways to go before she reaches acceptance. What will it take to move her mother into the light?

Our guest this week is Intimacy Coordinator Yehuda Duenyas. He and Dan talk about what an Intimacy Coordinator does, and whether they should be required on a movie set. How a director's prompt can sometimes be as vague as "They Have Sex" and it's up to the IC to flesh out how that should look to the audience. How portraying scenes of abuse can be wrenching for sensitive male actors. And of course, Dan has Yehuda answer a couple of sex questions too. A little of this conversation is on the Micro and the whole thing is on the Magnum.

Finally, is it possible for a man to both come and pee at the same time...in his girlfriend's mouth? Sadly, this is not a theoretical question.



Ask Dan ANY kind of question.

[email protected] 206-302-2064




This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

This episode is brought to you by Blueland. Going eco has never been easier. Revolutionary, refillable cleaning essentials eliminating single-use plastic. Right now,  get 15% off your first order by going to Blueland.com/Savage

This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage.


Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, media darling and creator of the It Gets Better Project. A tireless advocate for ethical conduct within relationships, queer rights, and sexual freedom with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, when we most need it.

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Savage LovecastBy Dan Savage

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