When it comes to love, never ever give up. Unless you really, really should. A woman has been crushed out on her best friend for years. Each time she asks if he feels the same, he gives her an unequivocal “No.” Should she keep pestering him? 

Continuing in the theme of delusions, a caller heard that semen can prevent hair loss, and anecdotally noticed that his stomach does have quite a lot of hair, right on the target. Dear listeners, he’s been rubbing his own spunk on his head. Will it work? Dan enlists the help of dermatology professor Dr. S. Max Vale to either confirm or deny the efficacy of this practice. 

More science! On the Magnum, it’s a “What You Got?” with evolutionary biologist Dr. Matilda Brindle. Her paper explores masturbation among primates, how ding-dang common it is, and how it might protect against pathogens. Dan approves. 

Ok. So she fucked her friend, even though he has a girlfriend and they are supposed to be monogamous. Once the girlfriend found out, she banished her boyfriend to sleep at the home base of their friend group, until he is forgiven. But our caller isn’t allowed to come over, and now she doesn’t have any friends. She feels like she is being punished and ostracized- but she isn’t the one who broke a monogamous commitment. NOT FAIR. 

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