Dan takes on a couple of heavy calls this week- A woman learned that her ex-boyfriend of 8 years was convicted on child pornography charges. He will almost certainly go to prison. He was once her fiancé. Rough stuff. 

Then, Dan helps a woman make the heart-breaking choice between a single or a double mastectomy. 

Our guest this week is the sharp, hilarious comedian Jared Goldstein. He and Dan talk about how gay men reject long-haired homos, how straight men don't get "headaches," and definitively answer whether dreams get weirder and kinkier as we age. A little is on the Micro, the whole thing is on the Magnum. 

Finally, he's dating a woman who isn't quite over her ex. And her ex is the caller's boss. And the ex is a super-hot guy who hunts caribou. He was "like a drug" to his girlfriend. How can the caller ever hope to compete? 

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This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. 

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Yikes! Her boyfriend's pre-teen son has been stealing her underwear. This very naughty lad lives with them half the time. How can she get this boundary violation out of her head? 

12 long years ago, he cheated on his wife. They got through it with therapy and endless processing. While watching TV with their kids (age 10 and 13) the subject of infidelity came up on the show, and his wife appeared upset. She was angry that he didn't pause the show and tell his kids that he had cheated on their mom. How can he work with her unresolved issues?

On the Magnum, we are delighted to bring back our favorite anal surgeon, Dr. Evan Goldstein of Bespoke Surgical Dr. Goldstein has a new book out: "Butt Seriously: The Definitive Guide to Anal Health, Pleasure, and Everything In Between." His take on sexual health and prioritizing pleasure is refreshing and rare. He and Dan talk about the health challenges transwomen face, and whether you can stretch out your ass in one fateful evening. 

A gay man has a bad track record with polyamory. Every time he gets together with a couple, trouble follows. Does it work for anyone? Ever? 

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A lesbian has befriended a married lesbian couple. She thinks they're both hot, and in various light-hearted conversations, they said they were open to group sex. But were they serious? Should the caller proposition them? 

When a woman was 17, she connected with a 24 year-old man, and began a fraught relationship full of sex, drama and sneaking around. She eventually cut things off, convinced that the age difference made it exploitative. He still tries to contact her now and again. How bad was this, and how can she get him out of her head? 

This weeks guest is comedian Rachel Feinstein. Her upcoming Netflix comedy special "Big Guy" is not to be missed. Now, let's talk about tea bagging. Sure, you know what it means. But who is the "tea-bagger?" The one with the mouth, or the one with the balls? Unsurprisingly, this conversation raises more questions than it answers. 

These two get super-real with each other, spelling out the stories of their first sexual encounters. Dan's first-time story has a detail that even shocked Nancy...you'll just have to listen. The first 8 minutes are on the Micro, and the whole raucous thing is on the Magnum. 

Finally, we all deal with grief in different ways. This poor man lost a dear friend, and consoles himself with frequent masturbation. Is this healthy? Is it ok? 

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This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. For the month of May, Helix is offering up to 30% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of an amazing amount of shapes and other products that fuel your desires AND make sex easier, better, and longer. Go to LIBERATOR.com and use the promo code “SAVAGE” to save 40% off the best-selling Wedge Ramp Combo. Liberator wants BETTER SEX FOR EVERYBODY, and that starts with YOU

For this Sex & Politics, Dan brings back Diana Adams, lawyer and legal advocate for queer and poly communities. Diana is the Executive Director of Chosen Family Law Center, a nonprofit providing free legal representation for low-income LGBTQIA+ families, asylum seekers, and trans communities in NY, and national legislative advocacy for LGBTQIA+, polyamorous, and non-nuclear families. Diana is co-founder of the Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition. Their popular TED talk ‘Why US Laws Must Expand Beyond the Nuclear Family’ has been viewed worldwide.

Dan and Diana talk about the necessity to gain legal protections for poly folks, separate from the spiritual concept of matrimony. They answer a question from a man considering donating his sperm to an ex. And hear Dan try to score some free legal advice. 

This is a short taste for the Micro listeners. To hear the full interview, become one of Dan's Magnum subs at Savage.Love.

Find Diana @DianaAdamsEsq

Her man used to enjoy chewing tobacco, and it messed up his teeth. He has quit at her behest, but now he really needs to see a dentist. She doesn't want to shame him for his nasty mouth, but she also doesn't want to kiss him. How can she gently guide him into a dentists chair?

A trans man is having a hard time finding women to date him. He insists he's a catch, but the ladies aren't biting. Why? 

On the Magnum, Dan welcomes Peggy Orenstein, author of eight books including Boys & Sex and Girls & Sex. Her essay in the New York Times about the ubiquity of erotic choking among young people went viral, freaking parents out. She and Dan talk about the dangers (both physical and emotional) of choking and then move on to more pleasant subjects: Like the Madonna/whore complex! And wanting someone you cannot have. 

Lastly, a gay man has a wet & messy kink. Lube wrestling? Let's go! Pie in the face? Yes please! But even though his boyfriend is game, the caller still feels shame and has a hard time asking for the thing that turns him on the most. 

You know what turns us on? Your calls. Usually. 

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This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. For the month of May, Helix is offering up to 30% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. 

This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off. 

When you throw a sweaty, sexy party, and most of the guests have left, except for your girlfriend and her ex, and this ex offers to suck your dick, saying his current girlfriend won't mind a bit, should you take his word for it? 

A woman has met a new guy and likes him a lot! And he likes her too! You know what else he likes? His sex doll. He spent $1000 on it. The caller is very squicked out and doesn't know if it's deal-breaker or not. 

On the Magnum, it's a love fest between Dan Savage and our guest- TV writer Stan Zimmerman. His work as a comedy writer is seen throughout many notable TV shows and sitcoms including The Golden Girls, Gilmore Girls, Roseanne, and The Brady Bunch movies. They talk about how Stan had to be closeted throughout his time writing for The Golden Girls (!!!), the special relationship many gay boys have with their mothers and grandmothers, and the gritty, gutty works of television. 

Finally, a straight man in his 70s has always had a fantasy of being weak and abused. This erotic desire ruined his marriage. Lately, it's morphed into him fantasizing about being a frail woman. Is this a common fantasy? How can he indulge it? 

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A woman's party fell apart when her good -looking friend flirted with all the men and then led them away to a club. Was this a competitive power move? What kind of friend is this? 

Expiration dates! You wouldn't drink old milk. Is it equally dangerous to use lube past its time?

On the Magnum, Dan welcomes Jenée Desmond-Harris from Slate's "Dear Prudence" column. They advise a woman whose boyfriend wants to see sex workers. (He likes 'em "young and firm.") And a jealous boyfriend can't handle his girlfriend's (rather reasonable) number of past lovers. As veterans in the sex-advice space Dan and Jenée have some strong words for this insecure man. 

A woman is about to get debilitating shoulder surgery. She is a submissive, without a primary partner. Who will take care of her when she is in her long recovery? And how can she do kink safely? 

[email protected]       206-302-2064

Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

This episode is brought to you by Good Vibes. In celebration of Masturbation May’s upcoming anniversary with Good Vibes, get 20% off by going to goodvibes.com/savage and to use the promo code SAVAGE20 at checkout.

A woman has been enjoying an insertable vibrator that can be controlled by her partner. Whee! But she worries that if she wears it out in public, it constitutes a consent violation for the unwitting baristas who don't know why her eyes are crossing all of a sudden.

On both the Micro and the Magnum, our second "What Are You Doing" features MzKim Lee- a very successful financial dominatrix. Why does she do it? How does she do it? How much does she earn? (The answer to this last question, may shock you.) 

Are you ready for a trigonometry lesson? Writer Neil McNeil wrote a long piece about poly triads- their delights and pitfalls. If you are a couple considering bringing a third person into your relationship, or you want to join an existing couple, do have a listen. 

And, a woman learned that her gal pal's husband was sighted in the bathroom...of a gay bar! Should she rat him out? 

[email protected]           206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. 

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Helix Sleep

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

For this very special April 20th episode of Sex & Politics, Dan speaks with Republican apostate and charming podcaster Tim Miller, about the importance of voting blue (for you know who) this coming November. A second Trump presidency would just be too harsh of a toke. This is the first third of the interview. To hear the "sex " part of "Sex & Politics" in which they discuss some trouble involving a "pristine dick," subscribe to the Magnum version of the Lovecast, at Savage.Love.

A woman moved into a new house and promptly slept with her roommate. It was great sex and the caller wants a repeat. He claims he wants more as well, but then never actually takes her up on it. One night she asked if he wanted to...you know...do it, and he chose to play video games for 14 hours instead. So. 

A veteran of the polyamorous lifestyle would like to push back on the idea that you can sleep with people and avoid catching feelings. It's just not a realistic rule, says this pragmatic lady. What do you think?

On the Magnum, Dan chats with Alexandra Petri- humor columnist for the Washington Post. They talk about comedy writing in these dark times, and Alexandra helps answer a question about horny fantasy titles creeping into a woman's bookclub. 

A woman is enjoying a friends-with-benefits situation with a man in an open marriage. She's beginning to fall in love with him in fact. But he and his wife are trying to get pregnant, and he has made it clear that the instant they see that pink line, he must switch to friends-only as he focuses on fatherhood. How can the caller protect her heart when she knows this relationship has an expiration date? 

How indeed? 

[email protected]     206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of an amazing amount of shapes and other products that fuel your desires AND make sex easier, better, and longer. Go to LIBERATOR.com and use the promo code “SAVAGE” to save 40% off the best-selling Wedge Ramp Combo. Liberator wants BETTER SEX FOR EVERYBODY, and that starts with YOU.

This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage.