Not every behavior needs a diagnosis or title from the DSM-5. I see and hear people calling every selfish person a narcissist.  Join me today as I discuss a few differences between selfish, self-centered, self-absorbed and narcissists.  

Episode links and resources:

https://www.instagram.com/nicolehagman_writes/

“There’s a reason narcissist don’t learn from mistakes and that’s because they never get past the first step which is admitting that they made one.”  Jeffrey Kluger

Let’s be honest…

If I’m being honest…

I’m not lying…

Do you hear or speak those words and question the honesty of the other words of the conversation? Join me for a quick ‘just for thought’ episode about why we and others use the phrases “Let’s be honest, If I’m being honest…”

Episode links: 

https://www.instagram.com/nicolehagman_writes/

Let Me Clear My Throat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JG9ZwhxSXs

We have been discussing ways to implement more of you, your heart and mind into your relationships buy finding and using your voice.  Today is a quick review. 

Episode Quotes, Links and Resources:

https://www.instagram.com/nicolehagman_writes/

“The only way to find your voice is to use it.” ~Jen Mueller

Top Gun: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeK7NQnulbM

Pretty Woman (not the exact one I wanted, but it will do ;) )

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhBEgkLUcgk

We often tell stories of the words we say, what about the things we don’t say?  Difficult conversations are difficult.  Listen to some strategies to help you find and use your voice in difficult spaces.  

Episode Links & Resources 

https://www.instagram.com/nicolehagman_writes/

“All the things we don’t say, all the words we swallow, and it makes nothing but trouble.” Anna Quindlen 

 Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most; Douglas Stone

https://www.americanexpress.com/en-us/business/trends-and-insights/articles/top-ten-tips-for-handling-the-difficult-conversation/

https://www.stellarcc.com/the-blog/2018/5/27/simple-strategies-for-telling-the-hard-truth

https://youtu.be/1SCOimBo5tg

How do we speak up about pain and hurt from the past?  Listen in to four ways to take an active role in handling past hurts in your relationships.  

 

Episode links and resources:

https://www.instagram.com/nicolehagman_writes/

https://safire-rose.com/books-and-media/poetry/she-let-go

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyF8RHM1OCg

https://www.instagram.com/p/CcTfp_tvcg_/

Have you ever found yourself caught in conflict and can’t find a resolution?  This episode gives you insight into what percentage of our arguments have actual solutions.  You learn about the three types of problems and I provide a new way to approach conflict to turn it into conversation.  

https://www.instagram.com/nicolehagman_writes/

 

Episode Quotes and Resources: 

 “The way you reach people is by finding common ground, separating ideas from identity and being genuinely open to persuasion.  Debate is organized conversations about the way the world is, and could be.” Julia Dhar

https://ideas.ted.com/6-strategies-to-help-you-turn-heated-dinner-arguments-into-real-conversations/

https://www.shanesnow.com/take-the-intellectual-humility-assessment

www.Humilityandconviction.uconn.edu

https://snow.academy/intellectual-humility-assessment 

https://www.gottman.com/blog/managing-conflict-solvable-vs-perpetual-problems/

A cover song is a new recording or performance of a song by an artist other then the original composer.  There are no original thoughts and words.  This episode is about ways to use other people’s words that have met you where you are to gain confidence in finding and using your voice.  

https://www.instagram.com/nicolehagman_writes/

 

Episode Quotes and Resources:

“Cover versions, that’s my forté, that’s all I ever used to do.  When you play your own songs, it’s quite scary, ‘cause I’m quite honest and open, they can be very revealing.  But covers, I don’t have to think about, just get me up there!” Ellie Goulding

“I started listening to and playing other music in the 90’s.  It was after hearing other bands, like Bad Religion, cover Ramones songs that I started to like our songs again.” Dee Dee Ramone

“What has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.” Ecclesiastes 1:9

I Think We’re Alone Now - Tommy James and the Shondells

We all give and receive apologies. We know bad ones, do we know how to offer good ones?  Today I discuss  

• six components of a successful apology
• words that ruins an apology
• how to apologize for past mistakes.

Episode Quotes and Resources: 

Never forget the nine most important words of any family - 

I love you.

You are beautiful.

Please forgive me.

~H. Jackson Brown Jr. 

Never ruin an apology with an excuse. ~Benjamin Franklin

Apologizing does not always mean you’re wrong and the other person is right.  It just means you value your relationship more than your ego. ~Mark Matthews

An apology is the superglue of life!  It can repair just about anything ~unknown

https://news.osu.edu/the-6-elements-of-an-effective-apology-according-to-science/

https://www.instagram.com/nicolehagman_writes/

Silence has it’s place in our relationships.  What about the silence that is more like a cancer growing and distancing us from intimacy in our relationships.  Listen how we can apply the lyrics written by Paul Simon to our lives each and every day.  Have the courage to disturb the sound of silence.      

 

https://www.instagram.com/nicolehagman_writes/

 

Sound of Silence: Simon & Garfunkel

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAEppFUWLfc 

Sound of Silence: Disturbed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9Dg-g7t2l4