A little carol for our listeners… Here we come a-wassailing Amongst the crappy schlock; Here we go a screaming Our eyes so wide with shock. Shock at how bad this week’s film is, that is. Yes, the season of giving is upon us! As we sip our spiced drinks, and snuggle warmly to our MP3 … Continue reading Treatment 9 – Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys →

They’re baaaaaaaack! Yes, this week’s treatment marks the return of the world’s most irritating toys. And this time, they’re up against our favorite 13″ tall cop, Brick Bardo, a.k.a. Dollman! The movie is , of course, Dollman vs. Demonic Toys! And at an appropriately diminutive  62 minutes in run-time, it’s one of the easiest films … Continue reading Treatment 8 – Dollman vs. Demonic Toys →

“Thirteen inches with attitude.” That’s one of the tag lines from this week’s Treatment, Dollman, starring Tim Thomerson. It’s yet another franchise from Full Moon Entertainment about a tough-as-nails cop from another planet when ends up pursuing a fugitive through some kind of dimensional portal or wormhole or something, and landing on Earth. Only one … Continue reading Treatment 7 – Dollman →

Toys, toys, toys!! What could be more appropriate this time of year than focusing on the items of all of our childhood desires? Of course, we lusted after Transformers, the Hoth Playset, the Snake Mountain with the voice altering microphone, and the Knight Rider Big Wheel. This week’s Treatment, however, features a foul-mouthed baby doll, … Continue reading Treatment 6 -Demonic Toys →

Treatment number five limps into your friendly neighborhood mp3 player after much tribulation. This was recorded almost two weeks ago (pre-Thanksgiving) but the editing and release was delayed thanks to Marc being a tad under the weather. If you listen closely, I think you can hear the cold slowly taking him over as this episode … Continue reading Treatment 5 – The Shape of Things to Come →

Hot off the mic, here’s the latest episode of Schlock Treatment! We decided to dedicate this episode to veterans, since it’s Veteran’s Day, and all that. Okay, technically, we’re about an hour past midnight. We only managed to record the episode this evening, and rushed to get it posted ASAP. Anyway,  as a special tribute, … Continue reading Treatment 4 – No Dead Heroes →

As a special Halloween treat, were releasing this week’s treatment a bit early to coincide with everyone’s favorite holiday for horror films and tasty treats! We hope you took the time to watch this week’s film, Dracula A.D. 1972! Despite it’s slightly less “schlocky” reality, as compared with our wild imaginings of discoing Dracula, we … Continue reading Treatment 3 – Dracula A.D. 1972 →

We’re back with another painful dose of schlock, and it’s a doozey! As prescribed, this time it’s 80s karate sensation Sho Kosugi in Revenge of the Ninja! It’s the 80s, the decade of bad taste, and a movie that begins with the promise of awesome ninja action only manages to deliver a goofy lineup of … Continue reading Treatment 2 – Revenge of the Ninja →

And now the thrilling conclusion to the saga of SHE!! This episode still has some of the audio issues of the first, but they disappear partway through where we rerecorded the lost ending to the episode. We pick up in part two just after our discussion of the werewolf toga party, and dive right into … Continue reading Treatment 1 (pt. 2) –She →

Yep, it’s finally here! Despite endless audio difficulties, we finally have the first half of our Treatment for “She” available for download! If you haven’t already done it, be sure to check out She on Netflix Watch Instantly. It will help you understand as we desperately try to dissect the hopelessly convoluted plot of this … Continue reading Treatment 1 (pt. 1) -She →