School of Schlock

Looking for some snake-based horror, but tired of re-watching Anaconda? Well come check in on this 1970s herpetological horror flicks that has a bunch of rattlesnakes attacking a small Southwestern community! Tom and Ryan regroup to discuss the fanged fury and to touch on related topics like Law and Order (for snakes), the women's liberation movement, and the music of A Muppet Christmas Carol. So put down those hand grenades and listen to our review of Rattlers!

Time Stamps:

0:04:02 - Background

0:13:45 - Back-of-the-box Summary

0:17:55 - Notable Scenes

0:33:30 - The Good

0:39:50 - The Bad

0:54:05 - The Ugly

The Magnificent 7. The Wild Bunch. Ensemble Westerns are some of the most iconic films in the entire Western genre. Good thing we have 100 minutes of a charisma-less knock-off to watch! Join Tom and Ryan as they watch a meandering cowboy film and discuss important related topics, such as Cesar Romero, bardic inspiration, and of course every Chief Petty Officer involved in World War 2. Hang your inhibitions high and listen to our review of The Proud and the Damned!

Time Stamps:

0:04:25 - Background

0:21:50 - Back-of-the-box Summary

0:23:30 - Notable Scenes

0:37:50 - The Good

0:46:00 - The Bad

1:01:10 - The Ugly

Who doesn't appreciate the film Jaws? It might be the single most iconic horror film from the 70's. So iconic that other films tried to copy it...to varied degrees of success. So you might be asking yourself, what would Jaws set at a ski lodge look like? Well look no further than this week's movie! Join Tom and Ryan as they discuss Yeti attacks, and also connections to Psycho, the 1968 Winter Olympics, five-gun salutes, and Ewok/Wampa cross-breeding. It's our review of Snowbeast!

Time Stamps:

0:05:55 - Background

0:25:26 - Back-of-the-box Summary

0:27:05 - Notable Scenes

0:42:05 - The Good

0:52:15 - The Bad

1:07:10 - The Ugly

We're still on our kick of movies themed around ancient peoples! This time we get to see what it would be like to have a romance reality show 10,000 years in the past, as eligible singles contend with tribal law and each other to find a mate in this 50's snore-fest. Join us as we talk about this film and related topics like Greek choruses, Futurama, An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge, and winking practice. So grab your favorite macaw and tune in to our review of The Wild Women of Wongo!

Time Stamps:

0:06:02 - Background

0:13:15 - Back-of-the-box Summary

0:15:52 - Notable Scenes

0:30:25 - The Good

0:34:50 - The Bad

0:44:55 - The Ugly

If the Flintstones taught us anything, it's that the Stone Age was a hot property in the 1960s. Join Tom and Ryan as we sit down to witness a film capitalizing on cavemen popularity while throwing dune buggies and shaving cream into the mix. We also discuss such relevant topics as the Bible, camping and survival tips, and women's names as song titles. So stop chatting with those dead ancestors of yours and listen in on our review of Eegah!

Tim Stamps:

0:03:44 - Background

0:15:10 - Back-of-the-box Summary

0:21:40 - Notable Scenes

0:34:50 - The Good

0:38:45 - The Bad

0:52:15 - The Ugly

Once again the new year is upon us, so we have to take a moment to reflect on all the terrible movies we watched in the previous year. Which characters ruined our movie-watching experiences in 2019? Which moments in these movies were the worst we had experienced? And what visuals looked like rushed grade school projects? Find out in our annual Schlocky Awards!

Time Stamps:

0:04:50 - Film List & Lifetime Achievement Discussion 0:09:16 - Worst Character 0:52:30 - Worst Moment or Line 1:28:30 - Best Moment 1:39:30 - Worst Visual 1:53:30 - The 10 Worst Films of the Year

Who doesn't love A Christmas Carol? This classic Victorian novel about good will and the Christmas spirit has been told and retold countless times, so what could be so bad about another film adaptation of it? Join Tom and Ryan as they learn about how bad it can get when you make a modern Hallmark version about a selfish TV talk show host. There's also plenty of talk about Diff'rent Strokes, romance montages, and adapting works while missing the point of the originals. It's our festive, seasonal review of A Carol Christmas!

Time Stamps:

0:03:20 - Background

0:25:28 - Back-of-the-box Summary

0:28:50 - Notable Scenes

0:48:05 - The Good

0:56:55 - The Bad

1:11:18 - The Ugly

As any Cybertruck enthusiast can tell you, vehicles of the future are a big deal! Especially if that future is rife with warlords, raiders, survivor compounds, and other Mad Max-inspired dystopian fixtures! Join us as we talk all about angular truck designs, the failures of a patchwork aesthetic, and of course John Ratzenberger. Prepare to live shiny and chrome through our review of Battletruck!

Time Stamps:

0:06:20 - Background

0:16:20 - Back-of-the-box Summary

0:19:35 - Notable Scenes

0:35:45 - The Good

0:41:25 - The Bad

0:55:10 - The Ugly

Last time we tuned in to Bert I. Gordon to get gargantuan; this time, old Bert is shrinking us down to size. But Honey I Shrunk the Kids this ain't! Join Tom and Ryan as they refuse to shrink away from topics such as misrepresentative movie titles, re-using footage from more well-known films, and of course, doll-maker psychology. It's our review of Attack of the Puppet People!

0:04:45 - Background

0:14:55 - Back-of-the-box Summary

0:17:00 - Notable Scenes

0:31:37 - The Good

0:38:55 - The Bad

0:50:24 - The Ugly

A giant man is stomping around the desert, and his only weakness...is bread. Join Tom, Ryan, and special guest Aran for an enormously entertaining episode, with high-level discussion of Bert I. Gordon films, and a gargantuan amount of wordplay and puns. We also chat about 60-foot Force ghosts, methamphetamine, grade-school height differences, and raccoons and disguise! It's our discussion of War of the Colossal Beast!

Episode Time Stamps:

0:06:45 - Back-of-the-box Summary

0:11:50 - Background

0:24:17 - Notable Scenes

0:37:32 - The Good

0:51:40 - The Bad

1:14:27 - The Ugly