The Art of Joyfully Hustling: Balancing Ambition and Ease

The Drama Triangle Explained: How to Reclaim Your Power

The Drama Triangle, a concept developed by psychologist Stephen Karpman, illustrates how individuals can become entangled in a cycle of emotional exhaustion and conflict through three distinct roles: the victim, the rescuer, and the villain. Each role plays a significant part in perpetuating drama in our lives, often without our conscious awareness.

Host Tonya Leigh explores the concept of the Drama Triangle, a framework that reveals the subconscious patterns we create in our lives. The discussion highlights how many people gravitate towards drama, whether for a sense of identity, adrenaline, or connection, often without realizing it. Tonya emphasizes that while some drama may serve a purpose, much of it keeps us trapped in familiar, chaotic states, preventing us from experiencing peace and ease in our lives. 

Tune in as we break down the three roles in the Drama Triangle—victim, villain, and hero—and how to recognize and escape these patterns to achieve a more elegant and fulfilling life.

00:47 - The Allure of Drama: Why We Create It

01:03 - Craving Peace and Elegance

02:09 - Role 1: The Victim

04:16 - The Victim's Self-Image

07:10 - Role 2: The Rescuer

09:50 - Examples of the Rescuer Role

11:07 - The Rescuer's Self-Image

16:00 - Role 3: The Villain

19:30 - Examples of the Villain Role

22:26 - The Villain's Self-Image

23:32 - Stepping Out of the Drama Triangle

24:03 - Becoming the Main Character

Quotes:

"What we crave is a sense of ease, a sense of peace, a sense of elegance in our lives, which means that we're going to have to give up some of the drama."

"You're not the problem, but you are the solution."

"If you want to grow your impact, if you want to have more ease in your life, you must be willing to let other people fail."

"I'm only valuable when I'm needed."

"The control, the criticism, and the blame comes from a fear of losing control, of not being enough, of being exposed."

"You're the main character, but more importantly, you're also the writer and the director."

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Clearing the Clutter: Transforming Your Self-Image for a New Season

Spring is often associated with renewal and fresh beginnings, and this concept can be applied to our self-image as well. Just as we clean out our closets or declutter our homes, we can also take the time to refresh how we see ourselves and how we show up in the world. 

Host Tonya Leigh explores the concept of spring cleaning your self-image, much like we do with our homes. As nature begins to awaken from winter, it's the perfect time to reflect on how we perceive ourselves and make necessary changes for personal growth. The host invites listeners to embrace this season of renewal by clearing out old beliefs and habits that no longer serve them and to welcome in new, positive energy that aligns with the woman they're becoming.

Join us as we discuss practical steps to refresh your self-image, create an environment that supports your evolution, and ignite your journey toward self-reinvention. Get ready to dive deep and transform your perspective this spring!

Talking Points:

00:47 - A Time for Reinvention 02:02 - Identify the Area to Spring Clean 04:00 - Paint the Vision for Your After Story 07:10 - Clear the Clutter of Limiting Beliefs 12:21 - Bring in Fresh Energy and New Beliefs 20:02 - Protect the Space with Boundaries and Systems 27:52 - Elevate and Upgrade Your Environment

Quotes:

"Within each of us, we always have a new after story that's just waiting to be revealed, waiting to be experienced, waiting to be created, but you have to paint it first."

"Identity is built in tiny decisions."

"If you continue to do what you're doing for the next 10 years, are you going to like the result?"

"My workouts go in my calendar like a meeting with my most important client because honestly, I am."

"If you love this podcast, if it brings a spark of joy to your life, if it's helped you to navigate some challenging times."

Useful  Resources:

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Connect with Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh:

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Cultivating Quiet Confidence as a Woman

In today's fast-paced world, power is often associated with loudness, dominance, and aggressive behavior. However, Tonya Leigh highlights a different perspective: quiet power, which is rooted in presence, certainty, and self-trust. This form of power is not about making noise or asserting oneself over others; rather, it embodies a calm and confident energy that naturally commands respect.

The concept of "quiet power" and what it truly means to be a strong, influential woman without conforming to traditional expectations of dominance. Tonya reflects on her personal journey and how her quietness and feminine energy have often been misinterpreted as weaknesses. She shares insights on the importance of authenticity and self-trust, emphasizing that true power lies in being aligned with one’s true self rather than succumbing to external pressures.

Join Tonya as she uncovers how to embrace your presence, influence without force, and become undeniably powerful in your own unique way.

Talking Points:

01:42 - Misalignment and Loss of Power 04:25 - True Power and Insecurity 06:33 - Knowing Your Worth 11:04 - Acting Out of Character 14:49 - Rosa Parks' Quiet Defiance 18:24 - Unshakable Boundaries 22:07 - Importance of Emotional Management 26:04 - Dressing and Moving with Intentionality 28:29 - Embodying Quiet Power 30:22 - Taking Action Without Announcing

Quotes:

"If you are trying to be something that your soul is not in alignment with, if you are trying to be powerful in a way that doesn't feel true to you, there is going to be misalignment."

"I am that quiet power. I have no interest in dominating you. I want us all to win together."

"Her strength lay in her unshakable presence, her certainty, and her quiet refusal to be moved, literally and figuratively."

"There's something magnetic about a woman who's in that energy that's just so in who she is, who's so present, who has nothing to prove and everything to give."

"How would you dress, walk, and speak if you fully believed in your power?"

"A woman with quiet power doesn't waste time talking about what she's going to do. She just does it."

Useful  Resources:

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Connect with Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh:

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How to Stop Feeling Stuck in Self-Help

Transforming Your Self-Image: The Key to Attracting Effortless Love

Your love story begins with self-love and an understanding of your own worth before seeking love from others. This foundational concept is beautifully illustrated in Tonya Leigh's podcast episode, where she shares her personal journey of transformation and the shifts in self-image that led her to a fulfilling relationship.

Tonya Leigh shares her personal love story and the pivotal self-image shifts that led to her engagement. She explores the connection between self-worth and the quality of relationships, emphasizing that our experiences in love often reflect how we see ourselves. Tonya invites listeners to consider the lessons learned from past relationships and how they can apply these insights to foster more fulfilling connections. With a light-hearted tone, she encourages self-reflection and growth, reminding us that relationships are powerful mirrors of our inner world.

Tune in for an inspiring discussion on attracting the love you deserve!

Talking Points:

01:02 - Tonya's Love Story: Self-Image Shifts 03:08 - Part One: The Attraction Stage 05:07 - Embracing Alone Time: Self-Discovery 07:47 - Dating Mindset: Enjoying the Process 10:24 - Online Dating: Authentic Profiles 14:44 - Authenticity: Sharing Fears 17:34 - Part Two: The Partnership Stage 20:04 - Redefining Love: Beyond Hollywood Rom-Coms 23:10 - Enjoying the Journey: No Rush to Marry 25:07 - The Beginning of Love: Self-Love First 26:02 - Embodying Love

Quotes:

"I just allowed myself to cry and to grieve and to feel all of the feelings because I knew that if I didn't deal with that, I was just going to keep attracting more of the same."

"I was open, but not attached. There was no rush, no timeline, no pressure."

"I'm not going to abandon me to get someone else's approval."

"I wasn't out there searching for love; I was fully immersed in a life that felt joyful and fulfilling."

"His love is steady, strong, and unwavering. His love is a beautiful, masculine love. Strong yet soft."

"Your love story doesn't begin when someone else enters into your life. It begins the moment you decide to love yourself deeply, unapologetically, and completely."

Useful  Resources:

Click HERE to join the Membership 

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Connect with Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh:

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The Power of Setting Boundaries and Trusting Yourself

Managing other people's emotions is a common behavior that many individuals engage in, often with the intention of maintaining harmony and avoiding conflict. However, this habit can lead to significant negative consequences, including emotional exhaustion, resentment, and stifled personal growth for both yourself and those around you.

Tonya Leigh explores the detrimental habit of managing other people's emotions and how it impacts our own happiness and growth. She discusses the importance of breaking free from the need to control how others feel, emphasizing that this behavior stifles both personal and collective development. Tonya shares her recent experience with guided visualization walks, which she refers to as immersion walks, and how they have positively shifted her energy and focus on vibrant well-being. By incorporating practices like Pilates, meditation, and self-care, she reveals how she is reclaiming her health and happiness.

Join Tonya as she dives into strategies for cultivating emotional independence and nurturing your own well-being.

Talking Points:

00:49 - Tonya's Self-Care Routine 02:15 - The Cost of Controlling Emotions 06:10 - Fear of Being the Bad Guy 09:02 - Loss of Self-Trust 12:27 - Self-Image and Managing Emotions 14:54 - Creating Your Own Safety 17:55 - Types of Emotional Management 23:28 - How to Stop Managing Emotions 25:17 - Setting Boundaries Without Guilt 25:50 - Building Emotional Resilience

Quotes:

"I want to challenge you to stop managing other people's emotions."

"True belonging doesn't come from keeping everyone happy. It comes from being unapologetically yourself and trusting that the right people will love and accept you."

"Recognizing it and having the courage to be true to yourself is where you begin to turn your life around."

"I speak my truth with confidence and I let other people have their emotions and their opinions about it."

"So you might as well be the version of you that you love."

"Managing other people's emotions is not your job. Being the fullest, most authentic version of you, that is your job."

Useful  Resources:

Click HERE to join the Membership 

Click HERE for the FREE Identity Code class

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Connect with Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh:

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Evolving Your Success: How to Let Go of Outdated Strategies

In the journey of personal and professional development, individuals often rely on success strategies that have previously yielded positive results. However, as we evolve and our goals change, these strategies can become outdated and may even hinder our growth. Recognizing and letting go of these outdated success strategies is crucial for achieving new results and stepping into the next version of ourselves.

Tonya Leigh explores the concept of breaking up with outdated success strategies that may have once propelled you to achievement but are now holding you back. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing what no longer serves you in order to evolve into your next best self. Tonya shares insights on how to identify these limiting beliefs and practices, and encourages listeners to embrace change for greater ease, confidence, and alignment in their lives.

Tune in to discover how letting go of past strategies can lead to a more fulfilling and authentic path to success.

Talking Points:

01:12 - Breaking Up with Your Success Strategy 03:32 - People Pleasing as a Success Strategy 06:14 - Inner Conflict with People Pleasing 08:02 - Building Walls for Protection 10:08 - Hitting a Ceiling with Current Strategies 11:04 - Breaking Down the 14 Success Strategies We Adopt 23:46 - Other Success Strategies 24:07 - Worry as a Success Strategy 25:32 - Breaking Up with Your Strategy 27:21 - Practical Experiments for Change 29:18 - Visualization and Growth 31:06 - Willingness to Burn Down Old Strategies

Quotes:

"What if the very thing that has made you successful is now the very thing keeping you stuck?"

 "I'm going to have to burn down my success strategy in order to create what it is that I see in my mind in order for me to have the impact that I know I am here to make."

 "I have been willing to break up with my success strategy of people pleasing."

"You've got to break up with your risk aversion."

"I want to invite all of us to consider success strategies that are fun, expansive, and full of ease."

"Are you willing to burn down your current success strategy to see what's possible for you?"

"To create something you've never had, you're going to have to become someone you've never been."

Useful  Resources:

Click HERE to join the Membership 

Click HERE for the FREE Identity Code class

Click HERE for a FREE download 

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Connect with Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh:

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Unlocking Joy: How to Cultivate Excitement in Your Everyday Life

Creating a life that excites you begins with understanding your core values and identifying what truly makes you feel alive. This foundational work is essential for living a fulfilling and joyful life. Tonya Leigh explores the transformative power of mindset and how it shapes our experiences in life. She emphasizes that excitement and fulfillment come not from luck or perfect circumstances, but from the mindset we choose each day.

Tonya shares her personal joy as she celebrates her mom's 80th birthday and reflects on the importance of simple moments with loved ones. Additionally, she announces an upcoming free class titled "The Identity Code," aimed at helping women shift from merely taking action to embodying the mindset of success.

Tune in to discover how to become the person who naturally attracts and creates the life you desire.

Talking Points:

00:13 - The Power of Mindset 01:23 - Upcoming Free Class: The Identity Code 02:28 - How to Be Excited About Your Day 04:25 - Clarify Your Values 06:12 - Discover What Makes You Feel Alive 08:39 - Evaluate What You Are Tolerating 09:24 - Stop Complaining 11:31 - Set Exciting Goals 14:03 - Surround Yourself with Positive People 18:01 - Embrace Curiosity and Adventure 22:58 - Balance Vision and Presence 23:39 - Change Up Your Environment 25:06 - Start Your Day with Intention 26:20 - Be the Source of Your Own Excitement

Quotes:

"The secret isn't in doing more, it's in becoming the woman who naturally creates and attracts what it is that she wants."

"So many people are just living lives on default."

"You don't get what you want, you get what you tolerate."

"Excitement and complaining don't coexist together."

"What surrounds you seeps into you."

"Wake up. This is our one life. Don't be stagnant."

"I want to see myself as a woman who really loved life, who loved all of it, even the hard parts, because she knew that that grew her."

"I realized I get to be the excitement."

Useful  Resources:

Click HERE to join the Membership 

Click HERE for the FREE Identity Code class

Click HERE for a FREE download 

Click HERE to sign up for our newsletter, The Edit

Connect with Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh:

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Unmasking Your True Self: Discovering Freedom Beyond the Faux Self

When we operate from our faux self, we may find ourselves making choices based on what we think we should want or what will garner approval from others. This can manifest in various ways, such as pursuing a career that looks good on paper but does not fulfill us, or acquiring material possessions to impress others rather than to satisfy our own desires. Tanya shares the story of a client who felt trapped in a high-paying job that brought her no joy, illustrating how the faux self can lead to a life that feels suffocating and unfulfilling.

Tonya explores the profound question, "Who are you really?" She shares her morning routine and the productivity that comes with starting the day early. She introduces a life-changing concept she learned from Martha Beck during her coach training: the distinction between the social self and the essential self. This episode delves into how understanding this concept can empower listeners to shift from feeling like victims of their circumstances to becoming creators of their own lives, our own true identities and explores the origins of their self-perceptions, prompting a deeper exploration of personal authenticity. Tune in for insights that could transform your understanding of yourself and your potential.

Talking Points:

00:52 -Social Self vs. Essential Self 04:06 - Defining the Worldly Woman 08:47 - The Role of the Faux Self in Success 10:20 - True Desires vs. Faux Desires 14:05 - True Desires and Money 18:04 - Childhood Memories and True Self 22:02 - True Self and the Win-Win Approach 25:03 - The Challenge of Sudden Change 27:00 - The Work of Getting Back to Your Authentic Self

Quotes:

"I felt like I was at the effect of my life versus being the creator of my life."

"There is no freedom when the faux self is in control."

"To find someone who is fully in their true self is such a rarity because it takes so much courage and a lot of people won't like you."

"You will know your truth because it will taste like freedom."

"Would you rather be judged for being real or praised for being fake?"

00:28:49 - "Who am I really at my core? Who am I beyond my roles as a mother, as a daughter, as a wife, as a business owner?"

Useful  Resources:

Click HERE for the Live Like an Editor Workshop

Click HERE to join the Membership 

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Connect with Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh:

Click HERE to follow our Instagram

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Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel