Cultivating Quiet Confidence as a Woman

In today's fast-paced world, power is often associated with loudness, dominance, and aggressive behavior. However, Tonya Leigh highlights a different perspective: quiet power, which is rooted in presence, certainty, and self-trust. This form of power is not about making noise or asserting oneself over others; rather, it embodies a calm and confident energy that naturally commands respect.

The concept of "quiet power" and what it truly means to be a strong, influential woman without conforming to traditional expectations of dominance. Tonya reflects on her personal journey and how her quietness and feminine energy have often been misinterpreted as weaknesses. She shares insights on the importance of authenticity and self-trust, emphasizing that true power lies in being aligned with one’s true self rather than succumbing to external pressures.

Join Tonya as she uncovers how to embrace your presence, influence without force, and become undeniably powerful in your own unique way.

Talking Points:

01:42 - Misalignment and Loss of Power 04:25 - True Power and Insecurity 06:33 - Knowing Your Worth 11:04 - Acting Out of Character 14:49 - Rosa Parks' Quiet Defiance 18:24 - Unshakable Boundaries 22:07 - Importance of Emotional Management 26:04 - Dressing and Moving with Intentionality 28:29 - Embodying Quiet Power 30:22 - Taking Action Without Announcing

Quotes:

"If you are trying to be something that your soul is not in alignment with, if you are trying to be powerful in a way that doesn't feel true to you, there is going to be misalignment."

"I am that quiet power. I have no interest in dominating you. I want us all to win together."

"Her strength lay in her unshakable presence, her certainty, and her quiet refusal to be moved, literally and figuratively."

"There's something magnetic about a woman who's in that energy that's just so in who she is, who's so present, who has nothing to prove and everything to give."

"How would you dress, walk, and speak if you fully believed in your power?"

"A woman with quiet power doesn't waste time talking about what she's going to do. She just does it."

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How to Stop Feeling Stuck in Self-Help

Transforming Your Self-Image: The Key to Attracting Effortless Love

Your love story begins with self-love and an understanding of your own worth before seeking love from others. This foundational concept is beautifully illustrated in Tonya Leigh's podcast episode, where she shares her personal journey of transformation and the shifts in self-image that led her to a fulfilling relationship.

Tonya Leigh shares her personal love story and the pivotal self-image shifts that led to her engagement. She explores the connection between self-worth and the quality of relationships, emphasizing that our experiences in love often reflect how we see ourselves. Tonya invites listeners to consider the lessons learned from past relationships and how they can apply these insights to foster more fulfilling connections. With a light-hearted tone, she encourages self-reflection and growth, reminding us that relationships are powerful mirrors of our inner world.

Tune in for an inspiring discussion on attracting the love you deserve!

Talking Points:

01:02 - Tonya's Love Story: Self-Image Shifts 03:08 - Part One: The Attraction Stage 05:07 - Embracing Alone Time: Self-Discovery 07:47 - Dating Mindset: Enjoying the Process 10:24 - Online Dating: Authentic Profiles 14:44 - Authenticity: Sharing Fears 17:34 - Part Two: The Partnership Stage 20:04 - Redefining Love: Beyond Hollywood Rom-Coms 23:10 - Enjoying the Journey: No Rush to Marry 25:07 - The Beginning of Love: Self-Love First 26:02 - Embodying Love

Quotes:

"I just allowed myself to cry and to grieve and to feel all of the feelings because I knew that if I didn't deal with that, I was just going to keep attracting more of the same."

"I was open, but not attached. There was no rush, no timeline, no pressure."

"I'm not going to abandon me to get someone else's approval."

"I wasn't out there searching for love; I was fully immersed in a life that felt joyful and fulfilling."

"His love is steady, strong, and unwavering. His love is a beautiful, masculine love. Strong yet soft."

"Your love story doesn't begin when someone else enters into your life. It begins the moment you decide to love yourself deeply, unapologetically, and completely."

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The Power of Setting Boundaries and Trusting Yourself

Managing other people's emotions is a common behavior that many individuals engage in, often with the intention of maintaining harmony and avoiding conflict. However, this habit can lead to significant negative consequences, including emotional exhaustion, resentment, and stifled personal growth for both yourself and those around you.

Tonya Leigh explores the detrimental habit of managing other people's emotions and how it impacts our own happiness and growth. She discusses the importance of breaking free from the need to control how others feel, emphasizing that this behavior stifles both personal and collective development. Tonya shares her recent experience with guided visualization walks, which she refers to as immersion walks, and how they have positively shifted her energy and focus on vibrant well-being. By incorporating practices like Pilates, meditation, and self-care, she reveals how she is reclaiming her health and happiness.

Join Tonya as she dives into strategies for cultivating emotional independence and nurturing your own well-being.

Talking Points:

00:49 - Tonya's Self-Care Routine 02:15 - The Cost of Controlling Emotions 06:10 - Fear of Being the Bad Guy 09:02 - Loss of Self-Trust 12:27 - Self-Image and Managing Emotions 14:54 - Creating Your Own Safety 17:55 - Types of Emotional Management 23:28 - How to Stop Managing Emotions 25:17 - Setting Boundaries Without Guilt 25:50 - Building Emotional Resilience

Quotes:

"I want to challenge you to stop managing other people's emotions."

"True belonging doesn't come from keeping everyone happy. It comes from being unapologetically yourself and trusting that the right people will love and accept you."

"Recognizing it and having the courage to be true to yourself is where you begin to turn your life around."

"I speak my truth with confidence and I let other people have their emotions and their opinions about it."

"So you might as well be the version of you that you love."

"Managing other people's emotions is not your job. Being the fullest, most authentic version of you, that is your job."

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Evolving Your Success: How to Let Go of Outdated Strategies

In the journey of personal and professional development, individuals often rely on success strategies that have previously yielded positive results. However, as we evolve and our goals change, these strategies can become outdated and may even hinder our growth. Recognizing and letting go of these outdated success strategies is crucial for achieving new results and stepping into the next version of ourselves.

Tonya Leigh explores the concept of breaking up with outdated success strategies that may have once propelled you to achievement but are now holding you back. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing what no longer serves you in order to evolve into your next best self. Tonya shares insights on how to identify these limiting beliefs and practices, and encourages listeners to embrace change for greater ease, confidence, and alignment in their lives.

Tune in to discover how letting go of past strategies can lead to a more fulfilling and authentic path to success.

Talking Points:

01:12 - Breaking Up with Your Success Strategy 03:32 - People Pleasing as a Success Strategy 06:14 - Inner Conflict with People Pleasing 08:02 - Building Walls for Protection 10:08 - Hitting a Ceiling with Current Strategies 11:04 - Breaking Down the 14 Success Strategies We Adopt 23:46 - Other Success Strategies 24:07 - Worry as a Success Strategy 25:32 - Breaking Up with Your Strategy 27:21 - Practical Experiments for Change 29:18 - Visualization and Growth 31:06 - Willingness to Burn Down Old Strategies

Quotes:

"What if the very thing that has made you successful is now the very thing keeping you stuck?"

 "I'm going to have to burn down my success strategy in order to create what it is that I see in my mind in order for me to have the impact that I know I am here to make."

 "I have been willing to break up with my success strategy of people pleasing."

"You've got to break up with your risk aversion."

"I want to invite all of us to consider success strategies that are fun, expansive, and full of ease."

"Are you willing to burn down your current success strategy to see what's possible for you?"

"To create something you've never had, you're going to have to become someone you've never been."

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Unlocking Joy: How to Cultivate Excitement in Your Everyday Life

Creating a life that excites you begins with understanding your core values and identifying what truly makes you feel alive. This foundational work is essential for living a fulfilling and joyful life. Tonya Leigh explores the transformative power of mindset and how it shapes our experiences in life. She emphasizes that excitement and fulfillment come not from luck or perfect circumstances, but from the mindset we choose each day.

Tonya shares her personal joy as she celebrates her mom's 80th birthday and reflects on the importance of simple moments with loved ones. Additionally, she announces an upcoming free class titled "The Identity Code," aimed at helping women shift from merely taking action to embodying the mindset of success.

Tune in to discover how to become the person who naturally attracts and creates the life you desire.

Talking Points:

00:13 - The Power of Mindset 01:23 - Upcoming Free Class: The Identity Code 02:28 - How to Be Excited About Your Day 04:25 - Clarify Your Values 06:12 - Discover What Makes You Feel Alive 08:39 - Evaluate What You Are Tolerating 09:24 - Stop Complaining 11:31 - Set Exciting Goals 14:03 - Surround Yourself with Positive People 18:01 - Embrace Curiosity and Adventure 22:58 - Balance Vision and Presence 23:39 - Change Up Your Environment 25:06 - Start Your Day with Intention 26:20 - Be the Source of Your Own Excitement

Quotes:

"The secret isn't in doing more, it's in becoming the woman who naturally creates and attracts what it is that she wants."

"So many people are just living lives on default."

"You don't get what you want, you get what you tolerate."

"Excitement and complaining don't coexist together."

"What surrounds you seeps into you."

"Wake up. This is our one life. Don't be stagnant."

"I want to see myself as a woman who really loved life, who loved all of it, even the hard parts, because she knew that that grew her."

"I realized I get to be the excitement."

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Unmasking Your True Self: Discovering Freedom Beyond the Faux Self

When we operate from our faux self, we may find ourselves making choices based on what we think we should want or what will garner approval from others. This can manifest in various ways, such as pursuing a career that looks good on paper but does not fulfill us, or acquiring material possessions to impress others rather than to satisfy our own desires. Tanya shares the story of a client who felt trapped in a high-paying job that brought her no joy, illustrating how the faux self can lead to a life that feels suffocating and unfulfilling.

Tonya explores the profound question, "Who are you really?" She shares her morning routine and the productivity that comes with starting the day early. She introduces a life-changing concept she learned from Martha Beck during her coach training: the distinction between the social self and the essential self. This episode delves into how understanding this concept can empower listeners to shift from feeling like victims of their circumstances to becoming creators of their own lives, our own true identities and explores the origins of their self-perceptions, prompting a deeper exploration of personal authenticity. Tune in for insights that could transform your understanding of yourself and your potential.

Talking Points:

00:52 -Social Self vs. Essential Self 04:06 - Defining the Worldly Woman 08:47 - The Role of the Faux Self in Success 10:20 - True Desires vs. Faux Desires 14:05 - True Desires and Money 18:04 - Childhood Memories and True Self 22:02 - True Self and the Win-Win Approach 25:03 - The Challenge of Sudden Change 27:00 - The Work of Getting Back to Your Authentic Self

Quotes:

"I felt like I was at the effect of my life versus being the creator of my life."

"There is no freedom when the faux self is in control."

"To find someone who is fully in their true self is such a rarity because it takes so much courage and a lot of people won't like you."

"You will know your truth because it will taste like freedom."

"Would you rather be judged for being real or praised for being fake?"

00:28:49 - "Who am I really at my core? Who am I beyond my roles as a mother, as a daughter, as a wife, as a business owner?"

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From Burnout to Empowerment: How One Woman Took Control of Her Story

In the journey of personal growth, particularly when grappling with feelings of isolation and burnout, the significance of surrounding oneself with supportive individuals cannot be overstated. Caroline Lacaille-Gaudy's experience, as shared in the podcast episode, underscores the importance of having a network that fosters growth and provides a sense of belonging.

In this episode of the School of Self-Image, host Tonya Leigh welcomes Caroline, who shares her transformative journey after leaving a successful corporate career in late 2021. Caroline discusses how she learned to become the editor in chief of her own life, empowering herself to create meaningful changes. Since embracing this mindset, she has launched two purpose-driven businesses, published a book on Amazon, and enhanced her relationships as a mother and wife. Caroline’s inspiring story highlights the importance of living intentionally and provides insights on how to stop reacting to life’s twists and instead, start creating your own narrative.

Join Tonya andd Caroline as they explore the tools and mindset shifts that can help you stop living life by default and start creating it intentionally. Plus, learn more about the upcoming Live Like an Editor workshop.

Talking Points:

00:22 - Caroline's Achievements Post-Corporate Career 01:21 -  Corporatte Burnout 02:57 - Feeling Unfulfilled Despite Success 04:06 - Realization of Misalignment with Motherhood 06:22 - Living Life by Default 08:45 - Shifting Perspectives and Addressing Objections 11:44 - Becoming a Coach and Finding Purpose 15:02 - Being the Editor-in-Chief of Your Life 18:15 - Caroline's Word for the Year: Expansive 21:07 - Learning Through Stories 24:06 - Unpacking Past Experiences 27:43 - Realization of Isolation 30:07 - Managing Spousal Stress 34:00 - Impact of Learning Tools on Parenting 37:56 - Belief in Possibility and Daily Habits 43:30 - Teaching Gratitude to Daughter 46:11 - Advice for Burnt Out Women

Quotes:

"I had been following this path of success, ticking the boxes, having the wonderful office with the view and the title and the car... and yet it felt like there was always something missing."

"Knowing that I'm in control of my emotional state of being is the most liberating news ever."

"How would bold me, how would worthy me, how would discipline me... behave right now?"

"It's OK to have certain standards. It's OK to ask for certain things. It's OK to behave such a way."

"It's the books on your bookshelf. It's the music you listen to. It's the clutter or not clutter, depending on how you keep your home, all of it is sending a message to you about who you think you are."

"I switched from fixing to, I get to create, I get to create myself. It's a very different energy."

"A well-lived life is nothing more than a collection of well-lived days."

"There is no hurry. My favorite mantra."

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Live Like an Editor: Transforming Your Life with Vision and Creativity

In the journey of personal development, one of the most transformative shifts you can make is to curate your life by focusing on potential rather than flaws. This perspective not only empowers you but also allows you to see the beauty and possibilities in your current circumstances. Here’s how you can implement this mindset in your life.

Tonya Leigh invites listeners to reimagine their lives through a designer's lens. Inspired by the idea of viewing life as a fixer-upper, she encourages embracing one's potential rather than focusing on flaws. Tonya shares her recent experiences, including a snowy morning and a revitalizing Pilates class, setting a positive tone for the discussion. She also announces her beloved annual workshop, "Live Like an Editor," a transformative five-day experience designed to help participants gain a fresh perspective on their lives. This workshop emphasizes creativity, possibility, and joy, rather than fixing perceived flaws, empowering women to curate their lives with intention. Tune in to discover how to approach personal development with style and creativity!

Talking Points:

00:39 - Morning Routine and Excitement 01:22 - Live Like an Editor Workshop 02:05 - Possibility, Creativity, and Joy 04:24 - Curate Your Life Like a Designer 05:05 - Perspective Shift: See Potential, Not Flaws 07:10 - Thoughtfully Select and Organize 07:54 - Transform Possibilities into Reality 11:09 - Create a Vision and Anchor It 14:00 -Work with What You Have 17:48 - Focus Room by Room 21:10 - Cultivate a Figure-Outable Mindset 26:11 - Perspectives to Curate Your Life

Quotes:

"When you curate your life like a designer, you look at possibility."

"Being a designer means seeing potential where others see limitations."

"You're afraid of choosing the wrong thing to work towards, and so therefore it's just easier to pretend that you don't know and you're confused about it because then you don't have to take action."

"You've got to start with where you are and with what you have."

"If you could choose one area of your life to focus on this year that would have the biggest impact on the rest of your life, where would you focus?"

"When you think like a designer, you know that every challenge has a solution."

"The quality of your life really does depend on the quality of your questions."

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Transforming 'Should' into 'Desire': A Journey to Self-Discovery

The word "should" carries significant weight in our lives, often representing obligation and criticism. In this podcast episode, Tonya Leigh explores the profound impact that this single word can have on our mental and emotional well-being. When we use "should," it typically conveys a sense of duty or correctness, suggesting that there is a right way to do things. This inherent judgment can lead to feelings of shame and guilt, ultimately hindering our personal growth and fulfillment.

She shares a relatable story about a listener named Jeanette, who eagerly anticipates Tonya's annual Live Like an Editor workshop as a tool for success. Tonya emphasizes the importance of breaking free from the cycle of "shoulds" that keep us playing small and reflects on her decision to take January for deep reflection before diving into the new year.

Tune in to discover strategies for overcoming the pressure of expectations and embracing your true desires.

Talking Points: 

00:32 - Breaking Free from "Shoulds" 01:56 - Reflecting on the New Year 03:31 - The Concept of "Should Season" 05:09 - Definition of "Should" and Its Implications 08:00 - The Harm of "Should" in Personal Growth 10:24 - Internal "Shoulds" and Self-Criticism 13:31 - The Pressure of Societal Expectations 16:14 - The Paradox of Self-Acceptance 19:25 - The Body Test for True Desires 23:32 - Building a Life Based on True Desires 24:56 - Conclusion: Embracing True Desires

Quotes:

"It's when shame and guilt becomes your compass instead of desire being your guide."

"To argue with reality is to argue with God and you only lose 100% of the time."

"The curious paradox is when I accept myself as I am, then I can change."

"It's only when I've gotten in touch with my true desires and made those the goals that I have had years where I felt excited, where I felt aligned, where I felt like I was moving towards my own North Star."

"If you are building a life off of fear and shame shoulds, you are going to be building a prison for yourself."

"Your desires are never wrong. They're simply showing you the way home to yourself."

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