School of Self-Worth

Today on the School of Self-Worth, I’m sitting down with the remarkable Christine Chang, a celebrity photographer, author and now filmmaker, as she celebrates her debut short film, Making Space.

In this conversation, we delve more deeply into how her Asian-American upbringing impacted her sense of self and how it affected her in her relationships and dating. 

Throughout our conversation, she pointed to a pattern many high-achieving women are familiar with — the belief that love has to be earned. Christine shares how this showed up in her own life by dating unavailable people and how she broke the pattern honest, raw conversations with her parents.

We explore what emotional availability actually looks like in practice, and why being gentle with yourself matters so much. She also digs into why receiving help is an essential part of healthy relationships. 

THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:  

• How self-worth influences dating patterns and romantic relationships  [07:47]
• Awareness of childhood roots helps break destructive patterns [15:13]
• Emotional availability is a skill that must be practiced and developed [21:10]
• Choosing a healthy relationship and learning to feel calm and safe, not dramatic [28:43]
• Letting people help is an act of self-worth and vulnerability [33:06]
• Pursuing your dreams requires embracing discomfort and self-kindness [46:17]

Christine Chang spent two decades as a celebrity photographer, developing a keen eye for capturing people during authentic, in-between moments. That fascination with intimacy, identity, and relational awareness expanded her career into writing, podcasting, branding, and now film. 

She is the author of Show Up: Finding Love for Independent Women and the former host of the podcast Show Up with Christine Chang, where she explored modern relationships and self-discovery. Most recently, she directed her debut short film Making Space, which is currently screening at film festivals throughout the US.

If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong and Christine Chang @cchangandco  so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support! 

Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift

Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504

For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast.

Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback. 

Learn More About Christine Chang: 

• Website: http://christinechang.com 
• https://www.instagram.com/cchangandco/

Catch up with Nicole: 

• Website: nicoletsong.com 
• Subscribe to her newsletter
• Instagram: nicoletsong
• Tiktok: @nicoletsong_
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

In this episode, I dig into why talented, high-achieving women, especially Asian American women, are often overlooked as leaders at work. Here’s the truth — it’s not really about confidence, communication skills, or how much you prepare, even though that’s the advice you might have gotten before.

The real challenge shows up in those micro moments moments when you are caught off guard — like when a senior leader asks a tough question or you receive unexpected feedback. If you hesitate, soften your words, or doubt yourself in those moments, others are likely to see you as less of a leader.

For Asian-American women, this often comes back to the way you were raised. Prioritize others, uphold your family reputation, defer to authority. And this often brings up doubt and worry in moments where you’re not prepared. 

True leadership is anchored in how you stabilize yourself and hold your authority in real time. When you are rooted in your own values and have clarity about your ideas, that’s true leadership arises — without having to change who you are.

THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:  

• Being overlooked as a leader isn’t about confidence, communication style, or visibility. [01:47]
• The real issue arises when I can’t stabilize myself under stress. [03:26]
• Simply preparing more doesn’t help in key moments if I can’t anchor myself and hold my positioning. [05:01]
• My upbringing, especially as an Asian American woman, can cause me to worry about others’ perceptions and fall into self-doubt. [06:51]
• Leadership means being able to hold my position and authority. [05:34]
• I don’t need to become someone else to be seen as a leader. [08:42]

If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong and so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support! 

Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift

Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504

For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast.

Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback. 

Catch up with Nicole: 

• Website: nicoletsong.com 
• Subscribe to her newsletter
• Instagram: nicoletsong
• Tiktok: @nicoletsong_
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

 You’re the one everyone relies on.

You deliver. You solve problems. You hold everything together.

So why are you still being overlooked?

In this episode, Nicole breaks down the hidden dynamic keeping so many high-performing Asian American women stuck: becoming the invisible backbone at work. If you’ve ever been told to “be more strategic” or watched others get promoted ahead of you despite your results, this conversation will shift how you see everything.

This isn’t a performance issue.
It’s a perception issue.

And the root of it goes deeper than you think.

Nicole unpacks how the experience of being a third culture kid shapes the way you show up in your career.

If you’re ready to stop being praised privately but overlooked publicly, this episode will show you the shift that changes how leadership sees you—without changing who you are.

THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:  

• The "Invisible Backbone" Phenomenon for Asian American Women [00:00:12] 
• Understanding the Third Culture Kid Experience [00:02:53]  
• Cultural Values Impacting Visibility and Leadership [00:03:38]  
• The Performance vs. Perception Problem [00:02:14]  
• The Key to Advancement: Developing Internal Authority [00:06:19]  
• Tangible Steps to Reclaim Authority and Shift Your Career Trajectory [00:12:12]

If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support! 

Asian Visibility System: Want to permanently reverse cultural conditioning and step into a life where you feel purposeful and thrive? Grab the Asian Visibility System: go.nicoletsong.com/visible.

Do you struggle with boundaries? Discover the blind spots holding you back and take the Boundary Tendencies Quiz: nicoletsong.com/quiz

Want to build morning habits that last so you jump out of bed with energy and clarity every morning? Join Nicole’s 5-Day Morning Challenge: go.nicoletsong.com/morning-habits

Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504

For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast.

Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback. 

Catch up with Nicole: 

• Website: nicoletsong.com 
• Subscribe to her newsletter
• Instagram: nicoletsong
• Tiktok: @nicoletsong_
• Facebook community: Balance + Boundaries
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

What happens when you stop letting your work define you? 

In this deeply honest conversation, Nicole sits down with her longtime client, Jenny Zhang—a leader in the oncology and biotech space—whose career once demanded nearly everything from her.

When Jenny first started working with Nicole, she was working 18 to 20 hour days, constantly navigating high-stakes decisions and the impact on patients’ lives. The pressure was relentless. There was no work-life balance. On the outside, she was successful. On the inside, she was overwhelmed, exhausted, and disconnected from herself.

Fast forward to today. Jenny didn’t have to leave her field. She didn’t “downsize” her ambition. Instead, she transformed how she showed up within it and landed her dream role. Tune in to find out how. 

This conversation is a masterclass in what becomes possible when you:

• Stop people-pleasing
• Trust your intuition (even when it doesn’t make logical sense)
• Believe that you don’t have to settle for “good enough”

If you’ve ever felt stuck in a high-achieving but unfulfilling cycle, this episode will show you another way.

THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:

• Defining Your Own Value in Your Work  [05:47]
• The Power of Saying No and Setting Boundaries  [12:32]
• Surrendering to Intuition and Letting Go of Control  [28:36]
• Prioritizing Impact Over Busyness [09:53]
• Surrendering to Intuition and Trusting Timing [28:36]
• Moving From ‘Good Enough’ to ‘Plan A’ Living  [31:37]

Jenny Zhang moved to the US when she was a child but remains Chinese at heart. She is passionate about bridging the East and West cultures and helping others where she can. 

She loves her work in the oncology field and is personally invested in being there for the people who may need the impact she brings through her professional life. She also thrives to be a supportive family, friend, and caring person.

If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong and Jenny @ https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennyyitongzhang/ so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support! 

Asian Visibility System: Want to permanently reverse cultural conditioning and step into a life where you feel purposeful and thrive? Grab the Asian Visibility System: go.nicoletsong.com/visible.

Do you struggle with boundaries? Discover the blind spots holding you back and take the Boundary Tendencies Quiz: nicoletsong.com/quiz

Want to build morning habits that last so you jump out of bed with energy and clarity every morning? Join Nicole’s 5-Day Morning Challenge: go.nicoletsong.com/morning-habits

Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504

For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast.

Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback. 

Learn More About Jenny Zhang

• https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennyyitongzhang/
• [email protected]

Catch up with Nicole: 

• Website: nicoletsong.com 
• Subscribe to her new

We chose to bring this popular episode back because the patterns it speaks to don’t just disappear, they resurface in new seasons.

As many of you are stepping into bigger leadership roles or simply having more nuanced conversations at work, the instinct to over-explain can quietly dilute your authority, especially when the stakes feel high.

This episode is a timely reset.

If you’ve recently found yourself second-guessing how you communicate, adding “just one more explanation,” or feeling the need to prove your worth in conversations—this episode will meet you right where you are.

This is your reminder that clarity is power, and you don’t need more words to be taken seriously.

Top Learnings In This Episode

• Over-explaining often stems from wanting to feel heard and self-doubt (4:19-5:38)
• Leaving space and silence in speech increases authority and impact (2:38-3:35)
• Over-explaining actually decreases trust instead of building it (5:38-6:49)
• Simple, clear language is more powerful than complicated explanations (3:35-4:19)
• Eliminate filler words to improve clarity and listening ability (9:26-10:12)
• Speaking from the belly rather than throat increases authority (10:49-11:24)

If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support! 

Asian Visibility System: Want to permanently reverse cultural conditioning and step into a life where you feel purposeful and thrive? Grab the Asian Visibility System: go.nicoletsong.com/visible.

Do you struggle with boundaries? Discover the blind spots holding you back and take the Boundary Tendencies Quiz: nicoletsong.com/quiz

Want to build morning habits that last so you jump out of bed with energy and clarity every morning? Join Nicole’s 5-Day Morning Challenge: go.nicoletsong.com/morning-habits

Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504

For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast.

Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback. 

Catch up with Nicole: 

• Website: nicoletsong.com 
• Subscribe to her newsletter
• Instagram: nicoletsong
• Tiktok: @nicoletsong_
• Facebook community: Balance + Boundaries
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

You’re doing great work. You’re getting positive feedback.

So why are you still being passed over?

In this episode, Nicole unpacks a pattern she sees in high-performing Asian American women who are praised behind the scenes but overlooked when it actually counts. You may be surprised by how your cultural conditioning has held you back. 

This isn’t about working harder. It’s about how you’re showing up in the moments that matter most.

If you’ve ever felt frustrated watching others advance while you stay in the same place, this conversation will shift how you think about leadership, visibility, and what it really takes to be seen as promotable. 

Nicole shares a few key shifts that can completely change how you’re perceived at work, and why the way you’ve been operating might be the very thing holding you back.

THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:  

•  Emotional Regulation Is Essential for Leadership. [04:02]
•  Stop Trying to Make Everyone Happy.  [05:10]
•  Own Your Authentic, Powerful Voice.  [06:52]
•  Authority Comes from Authenticity, Not Volume  [07:27]
•  Detachment from the Goal of Promotion. [08:23]
•  Identity Beyond Job Title Enables Advancement. [09:00] 

If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support! 

Asian Visibility System: Want to permanently reverse cultural conditioning and step into a life where you feel purposeful and thrive? Grab the Asian Visibility System: go.nicoletsong.com/visible.

Do you struggle with boundaries? Discover the blind spots holding you back and take the Boundary Tendencies Quiz: nicoletsong.com/quiz

Want to build morning habits that last so you jump out of bed with energy and clarity every morning? Join Nicole’s 5-Day Morning Challenge: go.nicoletsong.com/morning-habits

Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504

For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast.

Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback. 

Catch up with Nicole: 

• Website: nicoletsong.com 
• Subscribe to her newsletter
• Instagram: nicoletsong
• Tiktok: @nicoletsong_
• Facebook community: Balance + Boundaries
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

What does equity actually look like in everyday life—and how do we begin dismantling the systems we’re all swimming in?

In this powerful conversation, Nicole sits down with equity educator and former public defender Pooja Kothari to explore the deep connections between self-awareness, systemic oppression, and personal responsibility. Drawing on her years defending marginalized clients in Brooklyn’s criminal courts, Pooja shares the moment she realized that even people committed to justice can unknowingly absorb and perpetuate the very systems they’re fighting against.

Together, Nicole and Pooja dive into the complexities many Asian American women face navigating privilege, oppression, and the “model minority myth.” They unpack how systems of power operate in subtle ways—from the stories we tell ourselves to the language we use every day—and how we can begin to interrupt those patterns with curiosity, compassion, and courage.
This episode is both deeply reflective and incredibly practical. If you’ve ever wondered how to stay hopeful while confronting systemic injustice, or how to take meaningful action in your own life, this conversation will leave you with new ways to see the world and your place within it.

THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:  

➡️ Becoming Aware of Personal Bias in Social Justice Work  
➡️ The Model Minority Myth and Its Impact on Asian Americans
➡️ The Tension Between Oppression & Privilege for Asian American Women 
➡️ Values vs. Personality-Driven Decision Making for Equity 
➡️ The Power of Language in Dismantling Internalized Oppression 
➡️ Racism as Distraction: Staying Intentional Amid Social Systems  

Pooja Kothari is a trailblazer in the field of equity and progress, designing anti-oppression curriculum, facilitating difficult conversations, and guiding organizations towards profound cultural transformation. As an attorney and founder of Boundless Awareness, LLC Pooja brings a powerful blend of lived experience, legal expertise, and profound empathy to her work.

Pooja’s first career was as a public defender with The Legal Aid Society, Criminal Defense Practice, advocating for her clients in all aspects of the criminal case. She uses these experiences to present equity work at the intersections of race, disability, sexuality, gender, class and more, examining the histories and existing structures of oppression through a multimodal pedagogical process. Her workshops are experiential journeys, custom-built to address the unique concerns and experiences of each client organization.

Boundless Awareness's mission is to equip organizations with the tools to engage in honest, respectful dialogue and make decisions rooted in equity and belonging. From government agencies and nonprofits to law firms and global corporations, Pooja's clients emerge equipped to build a more just, equitable and inclusive workplace. 

If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong and Pooja Kothari   @boundlessawarenessllc so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support! 

Asian Visibility System: Want to permanently reverse cultural conditioning and step into a life where you feel purposeful and thrive? Grab the Asian Visibility System: go.nicoletsong.com/visible.

Do you struggle with boundaries? Discover the blind spots holding you back and take the Boundary Tendencies Quiz: nicoletsong.com/quiz

Want to build morning habits that last so you jump out of bed with energy and clarity every morning? Join Nicole’s 5-Day Morning Challenge: go.nicoletsong.com/morning-habits
Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504

For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast.

 If you set big goals in January and you’re already feeling unsteady about them, this episode is for you.

In today’s powerful episode, Nicole introduces a transformative reframe: You are always on a hero’s journey. The question is — are you the one choosing it?

Drawing from her own experience as a new mother with a bold, world-changing mission, Nicole shares what it looks like to pursue massive dreams in a season that doesn’t look “ideal” on paper. Working just 12 hours a week while raising a newborn, she had to confront a powerful truth: growth doesn’t disappear when life changes — it just requires a new lens.

So many of us were raised to make others proud, to wait our turn, to accept what’s given. But what if this is the year you choose your own path? Tune in to learn how to recognize when you’re living someone else’s version of success, and how to pivot toward the journey that actually fulfills you.

THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:  

• Turning Challenges Into Growth Opportunities [03:14]
• The Power of Reframing Goals as a New Mom and Leader [04:49]
• The Importance of Choosing Your Own Hero's Journey [05:15]
• The Role of Cultural Conditioning in Shaping Goals  [07:31]
• How to Recognize When You're on Someone Else's Path [09:25]

If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support! 

Asian Visibility System: Want to permanently reverse cultural conditioning and step into a life where you feel purposeful and thrive? Grab the Asian Visibility System: go.nicoletsong.com/visible.

Do you struggle with boundaries? Discover the blind spots holding you back and take the Boundary Tendencies Quiz: nicoletsong.com/quiz

Want to build morning habits that last so you jump out of bed with energy and clarity every morning? Join Nicole’s 5-Day Morning Challenge: go.nicoletsong.com/morning-habits

Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504

For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast.

Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback. 

Catch up with Nicole: 

• Website: nicoletsong.com 
• Subscribe to her newsletter
• Instagram: nicoletsong
• Tiktok: @nicoletsong_
• Facebook community: Balance + Boundaries
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

There are moments in the year that naturally invite recalibration — in our careers, relationships, and how we show up for ourselves. If you’ve been feeling the pull to tighten your boundaries or honor your worth more deeply, this episode is the perfect one to revisit. We’re bringing back this powerful conversation on the three things Nicole no longer compromises on when it comes to self-worth.

THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:  

• The crippling pressures of hyper-achieving (4:40)
• Balancing self-care with judgment (8:47)
• The power of unbreakable trust in yourself (09:42)
• Debunking the stigma of what productivity looks like (14:35)

If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support! 

Asian Visibility System: Want to permanently reverse cultural conditioning and step into a life where you feel purposeful and thrive? Grab the Asian Visibility System: go.nicoletsong.com/visible.

Do you struggle with boundaries? Discover the blind spots holding you back and take the Boundary Tendencies Quiz: nicoletsong.com/quiz

Want to build morning habits that last so you jump out of bed with energy and clarity every morning? Join Nicole’s 5-Day Morning Challenge: go.nicoletsong.com/morning-habits

Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504

For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast.

Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback. 

Catch up with Nicole: 

• Website: nicoletsong.com 
• Subscribe to her newsletter
• Instagram: nicoletsong
• Tiktok: @nicoletsong_
• Facebook community: Balance + Boundaries
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

How do you find yourself again after walking away from the career that once defined you?

In the latest addition to our Alumni Series, I sit down with transformational leadership coach Laura Saldivar Luna, founder of Piñata Possible. After leaving her C-suite role at Teach For America, Laura found herself in unfamiliar territory: no title, no roadmap, and no idea what was next. She knew she had a deep passion for helping people thrive and realize their potential. A year and a half into building her coaching practice, she had reached a point many entrepreneurs recognize — she was growing, but not in a way that felt aligned. That was when she heard about my Clear Calling Activator Mastermind. 

What unfolded over our year together was a profound transformation in her leadership, her business model, and even her marriage. “There were moments of abundance I never believed possible for us.”

THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:  

• Embracing Uncertainty as Possibility.  00:05:25  
• The Power of Slowing Down for Clarity and Alignment.  00:09:39  
• Designing Business to Support Life, Not the Other Way Around.  00:13:27  
• Valuing Completion and Closing Chapters for Growth.  00:27:22  
• The Transformative Impact of Community.  00:28:59  
• Integrating Personal and Professional Leadership for Wholeness.  00:38:43

Laura Saldivar Luna (she/her/ella) is a wife, mother, entrepreneur, coach, and a believer in limitless human potential. She is the founder and CEO of Piñata Possible, a transformational coaching practice committed to helping leaders access powerful breakthroughs to unprecedented possibility, well-being, and social good.

If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong and @pinatapostpossible so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support! 

Want to permanently reverse cultural conditioning and step into a life where you feel purposeful and thrive? Grab the Asian Visibility System: go.nicoletsong.com/visible.

Do you struggle with boundaries? Discover the blind spots holding you back and take the Boundary Tendencies Quiz: nicoletsong.com/quiz

Want to build morning habits that last so you jump out of bed with energy and clarity every morning? Join Nicole’s 5-Day Morning Challenge: go.nicoletsong.com/morning-habits

Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504

For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast.

Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback. 

Learn More About Laura: 

• Website: pinatapossible.com
• Instagram: @pinatapostpossible
• LinkedIn @LauraSaldivarLuna.

Catch up with Nicole: 

• Website: nicoletsong.com 
• Subscribe to her newsletter
• Instagram: nicoletsong
• Tiktok: @nicoletsong_
• Facebook community: Balance + Boun