School of Self-Worth

Welcome to today’s episode of the School of Self-Worth! This one is for you if you’ve ever wondered, “What does a coach actually do?” and how I can support you in your journey.

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to work with me, this episode is for you! 

In this episode, I talk about why I hire coaches, the 2 key things that coaching is NOT, and also a sample of my life BEFORE coaching and AFTER.

I also share more about my unique coaching style, and why I am so passionate about coaching Asian-American women.

Transformation can happen while living your everyday life, without major upheavals. In my coaching environment, I foster fun and support, and share examples of my clients achieving breakthroughs in their careers, relationships, and personal lives.

THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:  

• The Power of Coaching [00:03:00]
• Defining Coaching vs Therapy [00:08:08]
• Coaching is Not Advice-Giving [00:09:51]
• Nicole’s Coaching Origins [00:14:19]
• Rewiring Negative Thought Patterns [00:16:56]
• Directness and Intuition in Coaching [00:19:07]
• Fun and Transformation in Coaching [00:21:33]

If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support! 

Want the exact step-by-step to learn the Asian Visibility System? Grab the free training! go.nicoletsong.com/visible

Do you struggle with boundaries? Discover the blind spots holding you back and take the Boundary Tendencies Quiz >> nicoletsong.com/quiz

Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504

For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast.

Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback. 

Catch up with Nicole: 

• Website: nicoletsong.com 
• Subscribe to her newsletter
• Instagram: nicoletsong
• Tiktok: @nicoletsong_
• Facebook community: Balance + Boundaries
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

Two years ago, I imagined I would one day reach 100 episodes.

But I didn’t really think it would look anything like this!

Creating and launching the School of Self-Worth was a massive dream come true, and I had the best time coming up with the appropriate way to honor this milestone.

Which is to CELEBRATE.

But wait!

This isn’t celebrating the way you normally would. I didn’t just toast this moment; I took time this episode to look back at the moments when things were NOT going well.

Because when you have big dreams, big things can go sideways!

And those were the times when I learned the MOST about myself.

So buckle up, friends, for this SPECIAL 100th episode of the School of Self-Worth! 

Psst: don’t miss the moment when I share my very FAVORITE episodes! 

THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:

• Trusting Your Team with Major Projects (09:08) 
• Systems that Survive Change (12:56) 
• Pivoting to Serve Asian American Women (15:08) 
• Celebrating Milestones (04:12)
• My FAVORITE episodes and WHY  (20:15)

If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support! 

Want the exact step-by-step to learn the Asian Visibility System? Grab the free training! go.nicoletsong.com/visible

Do you struggle with boundaries? Discover the blind spots holding you back and take the Boundary Tendencies Quiz >> nicoletsong.com/quiz

Want to build morning habits that last so you jump out of bed with energy and clarity every morning? Join Nicole’s 5-Day Morning Challenge >> go.nicoletsong.com/morning-habits

Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504

For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast.

Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback. 

Catch up with Nicole: 

• Website: nicoletsong.com 
• Subscribe to her newsletter
• Instagram: nicoletsong
• Tiktok: @nicoletsong_
• Facebook community: Balance + Boundaries
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

Do you often wonder or get the feeling that you might be overexplaining yourself?

If so, this episode is for you!

In this episode, I talk about why we overexplain, and some simple steps to cut it out!

Because overexplaining is likely one of the reasons you haven’t been stepping in more powerfully as an authority and leader at work.

There are cultural reasons Asian-American women can get into overexplaining, and inside, I share 2 simple tools to nip this bad habit in the bud.

Top Learnings In This Episode

• Over-explaining often stems from wanting to feel heard and self-doubt (4:19-5:38)
• Leaving space and silence in speech increases authority and impact (2:38-3:35)
• Over-explaining actually decreases trust instead of building it (5:38-6:49)
• Simple, clear language is more powerful than complicated explanations (3:35-4:19)
• Eliminate filler words to improve clarity and listening ability (9:26-10:12)
• Speaking from the belly rather than throat increases authority (10:49-11:24)

Tune in to the full episode to dive deeper into these insights and hear my personal reflections and practical advice.

If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support! 

Want the exact step-by-step to learn the secret language of intuition? Grab the private podcast! go.nicoletsong.com/secret

Do you struggle with boundaries? Discover the blind spots holding you back and take the Boundary Tendencies Quiz >> nicoletsong.com/quiz

Want to build morning habits that last so you jump out of bed with energy and clarity every morning? Join Nicole’s 5-Day Morning Challenge >> go.nicoletsong.com/morning-habits

Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504

For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast.

Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback. 

Catch up with Nicole: 

• Website: nicoletsong.com 
• Subscribe to her newsletter
• Instagram: nicoletsong
• Tiktok: @nicoletsong_
• Facebook community: Balance + Boundaries
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

Dear White Women, this episode is for you.

Today, the co-host of the Dear White Women podcast, Misasha Suzuki Graham, joins us to talk about her own journey with identity as the daughter of a Japanese immigrant father and white mother, and now as the mother of two boys who are Black, Japanese and white.

Misasha also speaks to the evolution of diversity, equity and inclusion conversations since 2020, and the essential nature of this work. Her perspective as a lawyer, mom and the intersection of identity is one you do not want to miss! 

The TOP Learnings in this episode:

• Multi-Ethnic Identity Formation [00:03:00-00:04:44] 
• Modern Parenting Approaches for Multi-Ethnic Children [00:07:17-00:08:11] 
• The Story Behind "Dear White Women" [00:16:11-00:19:09] 
• Three Key Observations in White Circles [00:17:38-00:19:09] 
• Progress in DEI Conversations [00:23:21-00:24:51] 
• Impact Through Small Actions [00:29:03-00:29:46] 

Misasha Suzuki Graham is the daughter of a Japanese immigrant father and white mother. She is a graduate of Harvard College and Columbia Law School, and has worked in intellectual property litigation. She is passionate about diversity, equity and inclusion, having focused on these areas for over 20 years.

She is the co-author of "Dear White Women, Let's Get Uncomfortable Talking about Racism" and co-hosts the social justice podcast "Dear White Women" with her best friend Sarah. The podcast and platform aims to help white women use their privilege to address systemic racism.

She currently lives in the Bay Area with her husband and two sons who are Black, Japanese and White. She continues to do speaking engagements about diversity and inclusion, both individually and with her co-host.

 If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong and Misasha at LinkedIn "Misasha" so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support! 

Want the exact step-by-step to learn the secret language of intuition? Grab the private podcast! go.nicoletsong.com/secret

Do you struggle with boundaries? Discover the blind spots holding you back and take the Boundary Tendencies Quiz >> nicoletsong.com/quiz

Want to build morning habits that last so you jump out of bed with energy and clarity every morning? Join Nicole’s 5-Day Morning Challenge >> go.nicoletsong.com/morning-habits

Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504

For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast.

Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback. 

Learn More About Misasha Suzuki Graham: 

• Website: dearwhitewomen.com
• LinkedIn: Handle is "Misasha"

Catch up with Nicole: 

• Website: nicoletsong.com 
• Subscribe to her newsletter
• Instagram: nicoletsong
• Tiktok: @nicoletsong_
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

Do you ever experience so much pressure that you feel like you’re going to POP? 

That’s likely because you don’t even know what’s causing you to feel so much pressure. 

But for Asian-American women, there is more to the pressure than you might realize at first.

Inside this episode, I break down the three-part Asian Pressure Cycle, and the cultural conditioning AAPI women grow up with, which could be squeezing you in ways you don’t even realize.

I also share my controversial take about pressure, which you don’t want to miss! 

The TOP Learnings in this episode:  

• The Three Types of Asian Pressure [04:27] 
• Family Pressure in Asian Culture [05:09]
• Societal "Not Good Enough" Pressure [08:21] 
• The Pressure to Fit In [09:25] 
• Not All Pressure is Bad [12:56] 
• Two-Step Process for Managing Pressure [16:17] 

If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong  so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!

Want the exact step-by-step to learn the secret language of intuition? Grab the private podcast! go.nicoletsong.com/secret

Do you struggle with boundaries? Discover the blind spots holding you back and take the Boundary Tendencies Quiz >> nicoletsong.com/quiz

Want to build morning habits that last so you jump out of bed with energy and clarity every morning? Join Nicole’s 5-Day Morning Challenge >> go.nicoletsong.com/morning-habits

Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504

For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast.

Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback. 

Catch up with Nicole: 

• Website: nicoletsong.com 
• Subscribe to her newsletter
• Instagram: nicoletsong
• Tiktok: @nicoletsong_
• Facebook community: Balance + Boundaries
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

Have you ever wondered if you really should be doing something other than the job you currently have?

Cassindy Chao had an answer to that one — matchmaking.

In today’s episode, Cassindy shares her journey from crunching numbers to connecting people through matchmaking. Plus, she throws in some great dating tips for those of you looking for your person. 

Cassindy shares about her own struggles leaving a prestigious career, the challenges of dating as an Asian American, and the importance of setting boundaries AND asking for help!

Whether you're in the thick of dating or contemplating a major career change, you don’t want to miss this episode! 

The TOP Learnings in this episode:  

• Transition from finance to matchmaking  [00:03:05 - 00:05:45]
• Importance of boundary setting  [00:25:57 - 00:27:06]
• Self-worth and conditional love  [00:22:41 - 00:24:23]
• The "Dating Buffet" approach  [00:16:37 - 00:17:35]
• Energy and openness in dating  [00:39:07 - 00:40:03]
• Different approaches to matchmaking  [00:33:44 - 00:34:39]

Cassindy Chao is an expert matchmaker and the founder of Ancient Wisdom, Modern Love. Her fascinating career journey includes transitioning from being an investment banker at top firms like J.P. Morgan and Goldman Sachs to fully dedicating herself to matchmaking. Cassindy combines her analytical background with her passion for connecting people, creating meaningful relationships through her unique methods. She specializes in working primarily in major cities like New York, Los Angeles, and San Francisco, and also has clients in Seattle and Vancouver. Cassindy is known for her thoughtful approach to dating, helping individuals understand themselves better and find fulfilling relationships.

If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong and @matchmakercassindy so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support! 

Do you struggle with boundaries? Discover the blind spots holding you back and take the Boundary Tendencies Quiz >> nicoletsong.com/quiz

Want to build morning habits that last so you jump out of bed with energy and clarity every morning? Join Nicole’s 5-Day Morning Challenge >> go.nicoletsong.com/morning-habits

For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast.

Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback. 

Learn More About Cassindy Chao:

• Instagram: @matchmakercassindy
• Facebook: @cassiechao
• LinkedIn: Cassindy Chao

Catch up with Nicole: 

• Website: nicoletsong.com 
• Subscribe to her newsletter
• Instagram: nicoletsong
• Tiktok: @nicoletsong_
• Facebook community: Balance + Boundaries
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

Friends, I am SO excited to announce my theme for 2025! 

This is something I do every year to capture the energy and my reflections from the previous year.

What a theme is NOT?

It is NOT a resolution. It’s also NOT a goal.

A theme IS the foundation to support you through the year, a North Star to keep you on track when you are confronted with a challenge or an unexpected change.

In this episode, I go through the exact process I used to create my theme, so make sure to tune in so you can see the step-by-step for you to do the same thing! 

The TOP Learnings in this episode:  

• Importance of Yearly Themes (00:02:39 - 00:03:29)
• Completing the Previous Year (00:04:28 - 00:05:14)
• Identifying Where You Settled (00:10:23 - 00:11:14)
• Finding a Theme with Meaning (00:13:23 - 00:14:12)
• Making the Theme Actionable (00:14:44 - 00:15:35)
• Balancing Travel and Family (00:08:58 - 00:09:46)

If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support! 

Want the exact step-by-step to learn the secret language of intuition? Grab the private podcast! go.nicoletsong.com/secret

Do you struggle with boundaries? Discover the blind spots holding you back and take the Boundary Tendencies Quiz >> nicoletsong.com/quiz

Want to build morning habits that last so you jump out of bed with energy and clarity every morning? Join Nicole’s 5-Day Morning Challenge >> go.nicoletsong.com/morning-habits

Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504

For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast.

Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback. 

Catch up with Nicole: 

• Website: nicoletsong.com 
• Subscribe to her newsletter
• Instagram: nicoletsong
• Tiktok: @nicoletsong_
• Facebook community: Balance + Boundaries
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

Has January felt like a doozy? 

Do you wish you had an opportunity to start 2025 all over again? 

Here’s some good news — you can do exactly that!

As an adult, I’ve taken on a lot of the Chinese customs for celebrating the New Year, which are focused on clearing out the old and lots of customs to welcome in wealth, abundance and good luck. 

It’s become a pivotal way I enter a new year. 

In this episode, I share more about the power of the Lunar New Year traditions, and how they support me enter the Year of the Snake with clarity and purpose. 

I’ll dig into some of the traditions I grew up with and the ones I’ve picked up as an adult, and how doing so supported me to leverage the New Year as a powerful reframe for my year. 

The TOP Learnings in this episode:  

• Purpose Of Lunar New Year Reset [00:02:11] 
• Traditional Cleaning Ritual 
• Cultural Food Traditions [00:08:23] 
• Reset and Become more Flexible [00:09:49] 
• 2025 Year Of The Snake Colors [00:10:32]
• Winter Energy Alignment [00:14:07] 

If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support! 

Want the exact step-by-step to learn the secret language of intuition? Grab the private podcast! go.nicoletsong.com/secret

Do you struggle with boundaries? Discover the blind spots holding you back and take the Boundary Tendencies Quiz >> nicoletsong.com/quiz

Want to build morning habits that last so you jump out of bed with energy and clarity every morning? Join Nicole’s 5-Day Morning Challenge >> go.nicoletsong.com/morning-habits

Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504

For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast.

Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback. 

Catch up with Nicole: 

• Website: nicoletsong.com 
• Subscribe to her newsletter
• Instagram: nicoletsong
• Tiktok: @nicoletsong_
• Facebook community: Balance + Boundaries
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

In this week’s episode, I sit down with Grace Yung Foster, a transracial, transnational adoptee from Korea, who was orphaned at the age of 3. Grace shares her moving story about coming to the United States at the age of 5, going through the foster system in a new country, how she was finally adopted, and the obstacles she overcame both as an adoptee and as a person of color growing up in a very white community.

For her entire life, Grace was constantly on the search for true belonging and inclusion. After working in corporate America and nonprofits, she realized she wanted to support adult adoptees and foster care alumni and to reclaim her own identity, so she founded The Inclusion Initiative. 

Grace’s story and resilience are remarkable, and any high-achieving woman of color can relate to her powerful story of how she created belonging and inclusion for herself.

The TOP Learnings in this episode:  

• Impact of early rejection on self-worth (10:35 - 12:50)
• Importance of embracing identity (18:15 - 20:35)
• Resilience and adaptability (25:50 - 27:45)
• Power of community and representation (32:10 - 35:05)
• Role of education and peer influence (40:00 - 42:15)
• Overcoming perfectionism and seeking authenticity (48:20 - 50:35)

Grace Yung Foster is an inspiring transracial, transnational adoptee from Korea who transitioned from a challenging start in life to achieving remarkable success. Orphaned at the age of three, Grace was adopted into the U.S. foster care system, experiencing multiple rejections before finally being adopted at age eight. Her journey through foster care significantly influenced her self-worth and drove her ambition to excel in corporate America.

Despite professional success, Grace found herself still grappling with intrinsic self-value. Determined to reclaim her identity and support others with similar experiences, she left her corporate job two years ago to focus on advocacy and community building. Grace founded the Inclusion Initiative, a platform dedicated to uniting and empowering adoptees and foster care alumni through shared stories and resources. Her work resonates deeply within and beyond her community, reflecting a commitment to fostering belonging and intrinsic self-worth.

An outspoken advocate for embracing one's authentic self, Grace frequently shares her journey on social media and recently launched a podcast under the Inclusion Initiative. Her narrative is an emblem of resilience and transformation, making her an inspiring figure for anyone navigating similar pathways.

Learn More About Grace: 

• Website: inclusioninitiative.com
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/graceyungfoster
• Instagram: ​​https://www.instagram.com/theinclusioninitiativellc?igsh=cXFzcWFza3locGVl
• Podcast: https://www.theinclusioninitiative.com/podcast
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theinclusioninitiative

Catch up with Nicole: 

• Website: nicoletsong.com 
• Subscribe to her newsletter
• Instagram: nicoletsong
• Tiktok: @nicoletsong_
• Facebook community: Balance + Boundaries
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

True story — I used to hate New Year’s. It was my least favorite holiday, mostly because I put so much dang PRESSURE on myself at that time.

New Year’s has since evolved into one of my favorite times of the year. Now, I see it as an opportunity. There is so much momentum in the New Year to make the shifts that matter to you.

But first! Make sure you’re not making the two MAJOR mistakes I see people fall into with the start of the year. And don’t forget to follow my two-step process to make 2025 your most powerful, successful year YET.

The TOP Learnings in this episode:  

• Pressure Around New Year’s Goals (00:00:31) 
• Cultural Conditioning and Goal Setting (00:09:27).
• Detachment from Goals (00:12:09)
• Law of Attraction and Energy of Scarcity (00:07:45)
• Clarity on What You Want (00:14:14)

If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support! 

Want the exact step-by-step to reverse cultural conditioning and thrive at work? Grab the private podcast! go.nicoletsong.com/unapologetic

Do you struggle with boundaries? Discover the blind spots holding you back and take the Boundary Tendencies Quiz >> nicoletsong.com/quiz

Want to build morning habits that last so you jump out of bed with energy and clarity every morning? Join Nicole’s 5-Day Morning Challenge >> go.nicoletsong.com/morning-habits

Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504

For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast.

Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback. 

Catch up with Nicole: 

• Website: nicoletsong.com 
• Subscribe to her newsletter
• Instagram: nicoletsong
• Tiktok: @nicoletsong_
• Facebook community: Balance + Boundaries
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/