Schooling Struggle

Schooling Struggle

By Schooling StruggleHealth & FitnessMental Health
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Schooling Struggle episodes

  • 20: Brain Break, Recharge, or Escape?

    How do you restore your reserves?  Are you intentional about that, or rarely think about what's involved?  In this episode Peter and Todd discuss the processes they have found and employed, what has and has not worked.  As usual there are a few sidebar conversations which eventually come back around to the point of discussion.


    Related points:

    • Having an awareness of balance and a mindset of acceptance when balance shifts.
    • Different scale of restoration events.  Micro and macro, and things in-between.
    • Brain recharge and reset, mindset of restoration.
    • Where we find joy shifts in life with its variables – families, circumstances, environment.
    • Different methods of restorative action can be found anywhere, and at any time.


      • Mental habit / action / tool examples:

      • Once a year, try to unplug and detach completely, and look or go into yourself.
      • Cultivate an awareness of your feelings and boundaries.  Know when they are overstepped or shifting.
      • Look for and note the things which you know rejuvenate you.
      • Appreciate when you are present in that which recharges you for added benefit.
      • Example recharge rules:
      • Don’t do anything you don’t want to do.
      • Look for comfort in structure/routine.
      • Consider having dedicated spaces for dedicated events.
      • Bed = sleep
      • Gym = workout
      • Living room = lounging


        • Quotes/quips:

        • "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” - Benjamin Franklin


          • Rando Mentions:

          • The Silence of the Lambs (novel) - Wikipedia
          • Anderson Island (Washington) - Wikipedia
          • Intermittent Fasting: What is it, and how does it work? | Johns Hopkins Medicine
          • Why do we block blue light? - A simplified explanation – GembaRed
            • 41 min
          • 19: What Others Think - Should We Care?

            Ever feel like the thoughts of others might be playing some sort of role in the way we act... well, we have, and so in this episode Peter and Todd dive into this topic.

            Related points:

            • Hypocrisy: a feigning to be what one is not or to believe what one does not: behavior that contradicts what one claims to believe or feel.
            • Sometimes what we think about what other people think about us can be an interesting thing to ponder.
            • There is a shifted cultural norm where people are distancing themselves from each other with increasing frequency.  We each make a choice how to interact with (or respond), or in, that norm.
            • Do we hold importance of what others think as a moniker of how we lead and adhere to our values or intend to?
            • It is best to put your beer in a paper bag.
            • The metaverse is on its way.
            • Humans often change their mannerisms based on our environment and the people or things within it.

              • Mental habit / action / tool examples:

              • How we respond to a stimulus, predicates how we appear to others around us.
              • The weight of how others perspective of us, can be shifted through alignment of values.
              • Practicing holding a space to contemplate how we can feel, how we may react, how we might respond – allows experimenting with different outcomes.
              • Follow your values, then through reflection and awareness, we are better equipped to manage the clutter we find.

                • Quotes/quips:

                • "I try explain to them like the popularity machine of high school doesn't exist when you leave high school."
                • "In this moment, what's my intention and how can I proceed with that... in the way most aligned with my values."

                  • Rando Mentions:

                  • The Daily Stoic
                  • Metaverse
                  • Ready Player One (book) (film)
                  • Responsible AI
                  • Grasping (Buddhism)


                    • 37 min
                  • 18: Stages of Change: Ep. 18

                    Peter and Todd talk about the elements/drivers of and change and behavioral modifications.  We stack the ideas and discuss where we think we are on the continuum, and how we could do better.  As an educator, Peter reflects where the topics found in the coursework intersect with school settings – and shares what he is learning with us all here.

                    Definitions:

                    • Autonomy: The capacity to make an informed uncoerced decision.
                    • Mastery: Comprehensive knowledge or skill in a subject or accomplishment.
                    • Purpose (noun): The reason for which something is done or created, or for which something exists.
                    • Purpose (verb): To have as one intention or objective.
                    • Ambivalence: Having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something so.

                      • Related points:

                      • Fuel prices have been up in the last few weeks... strange behaviors sometimes ensue.
                      • Many of our listeners are helping others be better versions of themselves.
                      • Peter is on a nutritional education quest.
                      • The drivers of motivation are mastery, autonomy, and purpose.
                      • It's amazingly easy to see our own shortcomings.
                      • ‘Y’all’ is a good replacement instead of using ‘you guys’.
                      • Sometimes you just need to reboot.

                        • Mental habit / action / tool examples:

                        • The five stages of change: Precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance.
                        • To help support someone change, start with empathy through reflective listening.
                        • Adjust to resistance rather than opposing it directly.
                        • Surround yourself with people who you can trust, and who can trust you.
                        • Never be afraid to assert that you don’t know something if you truly don’t.
                        • If a situation is challenging, chances are there many opportunities within that struggle to be a better version of yourself.

                          • Quotes/quips:

                          • "Someone once wiser and smarter than me said everything moves at the speed of trust.”
                          • “I'm not certified anything, but I'm an expert in what I'm interested in.”
                          • “I know what I know, and I don't know what I don't know.”
                          • “I truly don't believe in bad days, just challenging moments within 24-hour periods.”

                            • Rando Mentions:

                            • Motivational Interviewing - Books by Stephen Rollnick | Stephen Rollnick
                            • The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: 30th Anniversary Edition: Covey, Stephen R.: 9781982137274: Amazon.com: Books
                            • George Carlin - Wikipedia
                              • 35 min
                            • 17: The Future, Gifts, & Inspiring People

                              In this episode we unveil and speak to (in real-time), the second half of John C's questions.

                              1. What are you looking forward to most in the next 10 years?
                              2. What is the best gift you've ever received and why?
                              3. Who was the most helpful and inspiring person in your life, in your younger years, and why?

                                4. Related points:

                                • Slow motion is better than no motion.
                                • If you don't have the right bike, at least have the right mindset.
                                • Every John/Jon has an 'n'.

                                  • Mental habit / action / tool examples:

                                  • If you are driving and need to remember something, pull over and capture it safely.
                                  • Chase your passions with reckless abandon.
                                  • Try to focus less on your devices and spend more time getting to know people around you.

                                    • Quotes/quips:

                                    • "I like to say I'd rather live 10,000 days than live the same day 10,000 times."
                                    • "Tell the people that we love the most, how much we love them because tomorrow is not guaranteed."
                                    • "I think that there's dog lovers and their dog haters, and nobody falls in between."

                                      • Rando Mentions:

                                      • Scott City, Kansas
                                      • Blizzard Beach Water Park (seems to keep coming up)
                                        • 34 min
                                      • 16: Just Start

                                        Ever find sometimes it is so hard to begin, ever think more about that and the why or reasons behind it?  Peter and Todd dive into this thought track and uncover things along the way which have served them as well as things which maybe... well not so much.


                                        Related points:

                                        • If we wait until we're ready, we risk never getting started at all.
                                        • The more you resist doing something, the more you will get from doing it.
                                        • It can become paralyzing to gather 'all' the info before making a decision.
                                        • For many, interest drives adoption and beginning.
                                        • Make a decision and move forward like it was the right one.
                                        • To motivate the unmotivated - find the smallest piece and build from that.
                                        • Learning something new can be a catalyst of interest and intent. 

                                          • Mental habit / action / tool examples:

                                          • Progress is the biggest motivator - but to have some level of progress, you must act even when you don't feel like it, and that takes a certain level of mental resolve.
                                          • Begin a monolithic task by discovering the smallest thing you can take any action on/toward - the minimal viable piece.
                                          • The better than yesterday's is based on a low trajectory with a distant horizon.
                                          • With failure or setback along the way to a goal, try to observe the instance (of failure or setback) as a 'strike' rather than an 'out' (baseball terms).
                                          • Everyone is motivated differently, discovering what motivates you is a wonderful place to begin. 
                                          • If you put off starting because you have no skill in that area, find one small skill and begin learning.


                                            • Peter’s tactical tips: (~27:49 thru ~32:15 - to hear Peter's framework and example in the show)

                                            1. Find the smallest place to start and commit to X amount of time, whether it's 30 seconds a minute, 5 minutes, whatever.
                                            2. Keep a written log or journal that you can see somewhere so you know if you achieve that goal or not for the day - with a check mark, or an X, or a highlight, whatever that is.
                                            3. Share your success with someone who genuinely cares about you so.
                                            4. Add a reward to keep you moving forward.

                                              5. Quotes/quips:

                                              • "Luck only happens when preparation meets opportunity."
                                              • "I believe in luck and what I've learned is the harder I work, the luckier I get."
                                              • "I have to say I'm going to do as well as I can today and feel as good as I can about myself."
                                              • "The definition of focus is giving your attention to the details while always keeping the big picture in mind."
                                              • "Mental Strength == knowing the difference in what we have control over and what we don't."

                                                • Rando Mentions:

                                                • Ketogenic Diet 
                                                • Big Hairy Audacious Goals
                                                • Spoons Theory
                                                  • 37 min
                                                • 15: Best/Worst Characteristics, Parties, & Hurting Others

                                                  In this episode we unveil and speak to in real-time, a listener (John C., I see you!) round of submitted questions.  We only got to half of the set, so this is part one of two along this same thread.

                                                  1. What are the best and worst characteristics of yourselves?  How do you cope, prevent, or respond - or how do you deal with the worst ones?
                                                  2. What's the most interesting thing you've ever seen at a party?
                                                  3. What is a time you've hurt someone the most?


                                                    4. Related points:

                                                    • Not let someone else's opinions about an individual lend bias to how we see them.
                                                    • Don't eat your wife's beans!
                                                    • How an awareness of impatience can lead to growth.
                                                    • Practical jokes can backfire horribly.
                                                    • Flavors of pain get bolder when we are finally able to relate (put ourselves in a comparable situation).


                                                      • Mental habit / action / tool examples:

                                                      • Positive intention, let that lead all that you do.
                                                      • Give full attention to the things which warrant it, in that very moment.
                                                      • See the best version when interacting with anyone/everyone.  
                                                      • If you observe feet (if there are feet) not pointing toward people when they are communicating, this can be an indicator of non-interest.
                                                      • Multi-tasking is a danger when it comes to intention and deep presence.
                                                      • Don't make assumptions of individuals' strengths or weaknesses based on the visual cues.
                                                      • Lean into discomfort where you see or know your shortcomings exist and do so as often as you are able.


                                                        • Quotes/quips:

                                                        • "The only time we stop making progress is at the point where we know we are approaching failure."
                                                        • "I lack intention and attention, way more frequently than I'd like to admit, but that I'd like to apply in my life."


                                                          • 30 min
                                                        • 14: Do I REACT or RESPOND

                                                          What we do in any situation is either a response, a reaction, or inaction.  Peter and Todd discuss their thoughts and perspectives about stimulus and what we do in reply to it.  We share with each other, and you all, how playing with the exposed dials led us to more meaningful ways to learn from these things.

                                                          Related points:

                                                          • First responders, not first reactors. 
                                                          • A reaction may not move a situation forward, a response may be more effective.
                                                          • Can responses become more natural or override reactions?
                                                          • Transactional vs Transformational interactions.
                                                          • Intoxication leads to poor reactions.
                                                          • A pause in time to contemplate how we respond, vs a knee jerk reaction without thinking.
                                                          • In the moment, reactions can have a greater impact or utility (think safety).

                                                            • Mental habit / action / tool examples:

                                                            • Taking time when we see we have reacted and use that as a point to consider how to respond differently in the future - leads to being a more transformational figure for others.
                                                            • If you don't know something, state that as your response.
                                                            • Owning our shortcomings can garner respect from others.
                                                            • Look for emotions in ourselves to be aware of opportunities to better respond.

                                                              • Quotes/quips:

                                                              • "If you do the easy things now, life will be hard.  If you do the hard things now, life will be easy."
                                                              • "Always tell someone why you are teaching them, what you are teaching them."
                                                              • "The more difficult response becomes the most rewarding in the end."

                                                                • Rando links:

                                                                • Dog Sledding in Maine
                                                                  • 46 min
                                                                • 13: Addressing MINDSET - If Ya Don't Mind

                                                                  Peter and Todd discuss mental strength and/or mindset.  Using Maslow's hierarchy format, we delve into how we can use a similar structure for how we approach mindset.  As we think about mindset and all the things which can and do influence it, how does that then lead to how we navigate our experience - conversely - how have the things we have experienced influence how we realize our mindset and then choose to work with or upon it toward new outcomes.

                                                                  Related points:

                                                                  • Victim mentality
                                                                  • Triggers
                                                                  • Ownership
                                                                  • Situational curiosity
                                                                  • Supporting others before ourselves
                                                                  • Character flaws, and what aspects can we work on?
                                                                  • Thriving

                                                                    • Mental habit / action / tool examples:

                                                                    • Effort and attitude.
                                                                    • Choices, and making them intentionally.
                                                                    • Exploring the difference between response and reaction.

                                                                      • Quotes/quips:

                                                                      • "Confidence is the foundation upon which all our successes are built."
                                                                      • "Courage is willing to try something regardless of what the outcome could be."
                                                                      • "Mental strength is the ability to understand the difference between what we have control over and what we don't." - Peter
                                                                      • "Awareness creates intention, and intention creates action."
                                                                      • "Mental strength is the willingness to do uncomfortable things." - Todd
                                                                      • "We can't be available to others, if we aren't available to ourselves first."
                                                                      • "The number one ability is availability."
                                                                      • "Often when we complain, it is about things we have no control over."
                                                                      • "Whatever we focus upon, that's what we bring our attention to."
                                                                      • "What you do is what you get."
                                                                      • "What you see as lacking in your marriage, is what you fail to bring to it."

                                                                        • Rando links:

                                                                        • Maslow's hierarchy of needs - Wikipedia
                                                                        • Bergeron's Hierarchy of Mindset | The Actor's Dojo (dojoactors.com)
                                                                        • Wim Hof (breathwork)
                                                                        • Apnea tables (breathwork)
                                                                        • RomWod (CrossFit flavored yoga)
                                                                        • Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art (book by James Nestor)
                                                                        • Hangry (definition)
                                                                          • 39 min
                                                                        • 12: What to EXPECT From Our Expectations

                                                                          Expectations, what a crazy lofty topic!  What we think something, or someone should be & how we form standards in our minds - this is the root of expectation.  Pete and Todd explore what expectations mean to them, where they originate, how to keep an awareness around expectations to see them for what they are and how they can guide/drive behaviors.

                                                                          On the other side of our individual expectations rests how "others' expectations" can weigh on us and influence how we react to them.

                                                                          Three facets we consider...

                                                                          • The way that we view ourselves
                                                                          • The way that we think others view us.
                                                                          • The way that we are actually viewed by others.

                                                                            • Mental habit / action / tool examples: 

                                                                            • Embracing others to be the best versions of themselves.
                                                                            • Being aware of our expectations, as well as those of others.
                                                                            • The pause (choice).
                                                                            • Form words in our head, with an awareness of expectations, before they come out of our mouths.
                                                                            • Lean into situations where expectation arises and shift your response to play with different outcomes.
                                                                            • Being aware of the 'should'.

                                                                              • Quotes/quips:

                                                                              • "Happiness is reality, minus expectations."
                                                                              • "Expectation is the mother of all disappointment."
                                                                              • "Looking at the heart (of an individual), not the action."
                                                                              • "Routine is freedom."
                                                                              • "Our greatest strength is our greatest weakness."
                                                                              • "No bad days, just challenging moments within 24-hour periods."

                                                                                • Rando links:

                                                                                • Whistler, British Columbia, Canada
                                                                                  • 34 min
                                                                                • 11: Inspiration vs. Habits

                                                                                  The fellas discuss their different perspectives around a quote Peter drops about inspiration and habits.  Sharing these ideas, they find that aspiration, motivation, action, and stress make an appearance.  They discuss the differences between physical and mental actions, and how each has its utility.  Further into the episode they get into mindfulness, and how the practice and focus of this habit can strengthen our intentions.

                                                                                  The quote to spur our conversation:

                                                                                  • "First forget inspiration.  Habit is more dependable.  Habit will sustain you whether you're inspired or not.  Habit will help you finish and polish your stories.  Inspiration won't. Habit is persistence in practice." - Octavia Butler

                                                                                    • Mental habit / action examples: mindset, moving forward, persevering, resilience, awareness.

                                                                                    Quotes/quips:

                                                                                    • "Don't put all your habits in one basket."
                                                                                    • "When the student is ready, the teacher appears."
                                                                                    • "Habit is what we repeatedly do, and we are what we repeatedly do - we are the sum of our habits."
                                                                                    • "Motivation is temporary but inspiration is permanent."
                                                                                    • "We are human beings, not human doings."
                                                                                    • "When you're intentional you notice more things."

                                                                                      • Books:

                                                                                      • Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive - Mark Brackett
                                                                                      • Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain - John J. Ratey MD
                                                                                      • Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World - Mark Williams, Danny Penman

                                                                                        • Rando links:

                                                                                        • Firework - Katy Perry
                                                                                        • Mount Rainier
                                                                                        • Man in the Arena - Tom Brady - Docu-series
                                                                                          • 32 min

                                                                                        About Schooling Struggle

                                                                                        From the publisher's feed

                                                                                        The only guarantee in life is that all humans struggle at various times throughout their journey. The Schooling Struggle Podcast dives deep into the real life theories and tactics that we can use to navigate obstacles. The discussions of this podcast center around the most integral skill needed for a life driven by purpose and fulfillment - How to cultivate a mindset to embrace struggle.