Seeing Other People

Are you constantly thinking you should be married by now, should be over your ex, should know how you feel after a few dates, or should be further along in your life Dr. Lucette Beall joins me to break down what all of this “shoulding” actually does to our brains and how it can impact the choices we make in dating and relationships. We talk about societal timelines, learning to separate what you actually want from what you think you’re supposed to want, trusting yourself when dating, and how to stop measuring your life against everyone else’s.

All links here (submit a Q, share your story on the pod, dating coaching & more)

Get FREE full sized Mascara on your first purchase at Jonesroadbeauty.com with code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople

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Who keeps track of everything that needs to get done in your relationship? Ilana sits down with InvisiBILL – Anxiety Receipts founder Lisa Virginia Anderson to talk about mental load, invisible labor, and what happens when one person becomes the project manager of the relationship. They discuss why “just tell me what you need” isn't always as helpful as it sounds, how resentment builds when one person feels responsible for everything, and the signs to look for while dating that someone will actually be an equal partner.

www.getinvisibill.com 

All links here (submit a Q, share your story on the pod, dating coaching & more)

Get FREE full sized Mascara on your first purchase at Jonesroadbeauty.com with code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Ilana and Jake are coming to you from a rainy weekend in the Hamptons with lots to catch up on: Ilana officially understands football, someone finally offered her a subway seat at six and a half months pregnant, she took her glucose test, and they toured their first daycare. Then, they get into your listener questions about how to stop internalizing rejection as proof that you weren’t “enough,” whether you can really stay close friends with someone who rejected you, wedding etiquette when your ideal date is close to a family member’s wedding, and what to do when you’ve spent three years in a situationship, know he’s not your person, but still can’t bring yourself to let him go.

All links here (submit a Q, share your story on the pod, dating coaching & more)

Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Rejection can make you question everything about yourself. Was I too much? Not enough? Did I do something wrong? And why did they choose someone else instead of me? In this solo episode, I’m talking about why someone not choosing you doesn’t mean you weren’t good enough, how to stop looking to everyone else for answers, and what rejection actually does and doesn’t say about you. Plus, I’m answering your questions about compatibility, self-trust, comparison, and learning when to take feedback to heart versus when to let it go.

All links here (submit a Q, share your story on the pod, dating coaching & more)

Get FREE full sized Mascara on your first purchase at Jonesroadbeauty.com with code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Stefanos Sifandos, relationship coach, speaker, and author of Tuned In and Turned On, joins Seeing Other People to talk about what happens after you find the right person. We dive into why a relationship isn’t the finish line, how healthy relationships can bring unresolved patterns to the surface, and how to tell the difference between something you need to work through and something your partner needs to change.

We also talk about knowing yourself before dating, finding alignment in values instead of relying on a checklist, and why sometimes the best thing you can do for your dating life is pause dating altogether. Stefanos shares how to navigate conflict, communicate your needs, move through a fear of being alone, and stay connected through major life transitions. Plus, he shares the relationship advice that has stuck with him most: don’t contort yourself to impress someone else.

Find Stefanos at tunedinandturnedonbook.com, stefanossifandos.com and @stefanossifandos

All links here (submit a Q, share your story on the pod, dating coaching & more)

Get FREE full sized Mascara on your first purchase at Jonesroadbeauty.com with code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week, we’re talking daycare waitlists, baby registry decisions, why Ilana is becoming a baby product expert, and the realities of figuring out taxes when you’re self-employed. Then we answer your questions: Is the second date too soon to say you’re serious about having kids? How do you stop finding love from becoming the one thing you can’t stop thinking about? And should you write someone off for sending a low-effort like on a dating app? Plus, our advice for making your dating profile actually give people something to respond to. 

All links here (submit a Q, share your story on the pod, dating coaching & more)

Get FREE full sized Mascara on your first purchase at Jonesroadbeauty.com with code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

An anonymous guest joins the podcast to talk about navigating a long-term relationship in a big city — from taking their first trip together just two months into dating, to moving in together before getting engaged, to ultimately buying a home together.

We talk about the pressure of the “relationship escalator,” making major decisions on your own timeline, navigating family members who don’t understand your choices, and how communication, trust, and knowing when something feels right can matter more than doing things in the “right” order.

All links here (submit a Q, share your story on the pod, dating coaching & more)

Get FREE full sized Mascara on your first purchase at Jonesroadbeauty.com with code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jane Garnett, former Hollywood producer turned psychotherapist and author of This Time With Feeling, joins the podcast to talk about how to get unstuck — from old emotional patterns, the stories we tell ourselves, and the idea that our lives are supposed to look a certain way. We talk about why understanding our patterns doesn’t always stop us from repeating them, how disappointment can become a gateway to the next chapter, and why getting back in touch with our bodies, intuition, and curiosity can help us move forward.

Plus, Jane shares how to rewrite the stories we’ve created about ourselves, stop waiting for life to begin, become the protagonist of our own stories, and why sometimes we need to explore rather than nix when it comes to relationships.

Get Jane’s memoir, This Time With Feeling: This Time With Feeling

Website: janegarnett.com

Instagram: @thebananajane

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Ilana and Jake catch up on baby prep, their first stroller arrival, Ilana’s newfound obsession with baby clothes, Jake’s thoughts on being married to a content creator, and why apparently having a twin bed until age 26 builds character. Then, they get into your listener questions. If they were single today, how would they actually go about finding their person? They talk dating apps, singles events, meeting people organically, getting set up by friends, and why going out with the sole mission of meeting someone might actually make dating harder. Plus, they weigh in on a messy Hinge situation: is your ex’s friend fair game?

Shop Joolz strollers at www.joolz.com and check out our Joolz Aer² lightweight stroller!

All links here (submit a Q, share your story on the pod, dating coaching & more)

Get FREE full sized Mascara on your first purchase at Jonesroadbeauty.com with code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Missing someone after a breakup can make you question everything. Did you make a mistake? Does still loving them mean you should try again? And if nobody else compares, does that mean they were actually your person? In this solo episode, I’m talking about why missing someone doesn’t mean you should be together, how nostalgia can make us forget why things ended, and how to tell the difference between genuinely wanting someone back and simply missing what you had. Plus, I’m answering your questions about exes, second chances, and moving on when you still care.

Mentioned in this episode:

Juice Glasses with Lid & Glasses without lid

All links here (submit a Q, share your story on the pod, dating coaching & more)

Get FREE full sized Mascara on your first purchase at Jonesroadbeauty.com with code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.