Self-Aware Millennial

This week, as an exciting complement to episode 2: Millennials versus Gen X, I’m speaking to Millennial Jeremy Boudinet about Millennials in the workplace.

The most beneficial thing Jeremy said was to get a mentor. I enthusiastically back this up because mentors have a vested, personal interest in you reaching your goals. No one finds success and happiness alone, despite what a lot of arrogant musicians tend to preach in their songs. Who you surround yourself with matters almost as much as how you feel about yourself.

Often times, finding a mentor is as simple as just asking for one. If there’s someone you admire or someone who’s in a role you aspire to, ask them for feedback on things or if they have any advice. I have a friend from Italy told me she straight up asks, “I’m looking for a mentor. Are you interested?”

Now, for some of us, that’s easier said than done. Or, maybe you don’t work in an environment you feel comfortable asking. Maybe you just don’t like your job. Better yet, maybe you’re looking for a well-rounded mentoring experience and want someone a little more removed from the situation.

Because I believe mentoring is so important, I’ve decided to be in action about this and start a mentoring program for SAM Fam members. If you remember, last week I introduced the SAM Fam, which is a way you as a listener can support the show and help shape its content by becoming a patron.

As a new perk, the first 50 patrons who are interested will join a private mentoring group with me. You’ll get access to virtual professional coaching and training from me on a weekly basis, as well as peer interactions to support your growth and goals. 

Even better, my personal mentor and member of the Forbes Coaches Council and one of CV Magazine’s top 50 coaches, Alexsys Thompson, is offering a free 45-minute coaching call with her to one patron every month. Her time is easily worth $500/hour, so this is a wonderful gift I’m honored and grateful to be able to offer. Thanks, Alexsys!

To join the mentoring program, visit patreon.com/sampod. Patronage starts at $1/month and gives you access to a ton of perks on top of the mentorship opportunity. So now, you have no excuse for not having a mentor. Join the SAM Fam now: patreon.com/sampod.

Let’s talk about the lie of not enough. One way or other, we’ve all bought into our own version of this story. You aren’t smart enough. You’re not thin enough. You’re not rich enough. You’re not witty enough. You’re not enough, not enough, not enough.

It’s Satan’s soundtrack on a never-ending loop, deep in the recesses of your mind. It’s something I’ve struggled with my whole life, and the more self-awareness I build, the more I realize just how pervasive this thought pattern is.

Here’s the good news: it’s not true. You’re enough. You’ve always been enough. The trick is remembering.

It’s not easy to weed the “not enough” lie out of your life, but our guest Maria Volovik is helping Millennial fight it every day.

I’m so excited to share a brand new facet of the podcast: SAM Fam memberships! I’ve created a Patreon page for the show that allows listeners access to exclusive, member-only content, the ability to vote and provide opinions on show content, enter monthly giveaways, get discount on all SAM march, join live AMAs with me, and even have opportunities to be a guest on the show.

If you aren’t familiar with Patreon, it’s basically a platform where you contribute to your favorite creative projects, just like back in the day when people would sponsor artists and musicians so they could continue creating their art. For just $1 or $5 a month, you’ll be an exclusive member of the SAM Fam with elite access to a lot of goodies.

All of your contributions go toward ensuring I can continue to produce the show every week, as well as create more new content and grow the platform into more than just a podcast.

For example, here are some things I have planned:

• a book that outlines 20 actionable ways people can use self-awareness techniques to shed old stories and behavior patterns that don't serve to access their inner joy (I've already written it, in edits now)
• an app related to the book
• digital and in-person events
• monthly giveaways of my favorite self-awareness resources
• a call-in number for people to ask questions and get them answered by me or an expert
• member-only episodes and video series...
• and more!

I LOVE making this podcast and I know the message will help make the world a better place, but I need your help to make that happen. 

To learn more and join the SAM Fam, visit www.patreon.com/sampod. For no more than $5, you can become a part of a movement Millennials and every other generation can be proud of.

The most important part of an apology is owning up to your part in the situation. Even if someone else did the bad thing, there’s probably space to apologize to yourself for whatever your contribution to the situation was.

For example, I had a “friend” take total advantage of me. I worked my ass off to make her look good, sent her flowers out of guilt for thinking negative thoughts about her, and let her be as messy as she needed to be with me. She returned absolutely none of those favors, and it became clear to me that she wasn’t my friend. Of course, it took the death of someone I love to make me see this. Specifically because this “friend” didn’t say shit about it. No condolences, no checking up on me, nothing. The fucker ghosted.

In that situation, I deserved an apology. I know I’ll never get one from her, but I can and have apologized to myself. I did a lot of things that weren’t loving to myself: didn’t speak my truth, didn’t hold healthy boundaries, and definitely didn’t walk away when I should have. For all those things, I told myself sorry. I can do better, and I didn’t. That needs an apology!

Remember, apologies do not require excuses or defenses. If you’re putting conditions on your apology or it includes the word “but,” you’re doing it wrong.

Listen to the episode for the formula I use to give great apologies!

Forgiveness is something we all know we should do, and I think we do it wrong a lot of the time. Besides thinking it’s about the other person, we also put all kinds of pressure on it, like deadlines or the expectation things go back to the way they were before.

There are a ton of benefits to truly forgiving, but the biggest one is your sanity. Holding onto things for too long is like chewing on rat poison. It will kill you. Where do you think ulcers come from? (Seriously, read the book Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers)

Even if you think you’re forgiving someone else’s transgressions, what you’re really doing, the part that actually matters, is all about you.

In the book The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, the author, Don Miguel Ruiz, instructs us not to take anything personally. I don’t know about you, but for me that was life-changing. He says, “Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”

If nothing others do is because of you, the same must be true for you. Nothing you do is because of other people. What you say and do is a projection of your own reality, your own dream. Which means when you apologize, forgive, and let go in relation to “someone” else, you’re really apologizing, forgiving, and letting go in relation to yourself.

I have always and continue to struggle with setting healthy boundaries. Boundaries are so important to healthy relationships of all kinds, yet no one teaches us how to do this stuff. In fact, societal norms typically set us up for failure.

I get vulnerable with you guys to talk about this topic not only because it's so important, but also because it's a personal challenge that requires a lot of work to overcome. Just because I'm here sharing what I know which doesn't mean I know everything. FAR FROM IT!

Whether you're unsure if you set healthy boundaries or know where you stand, I hope my openness in this episode inspires you to tackle some of your toughest challenges with hope and a whole lotta spine. Together, we can do anything.

I’m in Berlin right now going through the Climate Reality Leadership Corp Training, so I didn’t have time to do a full episode. Instead, I decided to try a new segment I think will be cool and helpful:

SAM Quick Tips

These are quick and easy ways to incorporate self-awareness into your daily life to improve the overall quality of your wellbeing.

This week, I want to talk about check-ins. Check-ins are just like they sound: you checking in with yourself to see how you’re doing. They’re a simple way to learn about yourself and course correct during the day if you need to.

Though there are many ways to check-in, here’s how I do it:

• Press my left hand over my heart and my right hand over my gut (the space below my belly button, also known as your sacral chakra)
• Take three deep breathes in my nose and out my mouth
• Focus on the air filling my lungs. I often picture light entering through my head or chest, then filtering out of my mouth as I exhale
• Once I feel relatively calm and centered, I ask myself (aloud or in my head depending on where I am), "How are you, baby girl?" I like using a pet name to keep it soft and loving, just like I would for my partner
• I observe whatever pops up. Sometimes, it’s a physical sensation, like a quickening of my heartbeat or a tingling of my scalp. Other times, I get a clear thought, like “Fucking horrible."
• Try not to follow the thoughts and feelings. Take note and let yourself answer. If you find yourself going down a rabbit hole, take a couple more deep breaths and bring yourself back

Once you feel complete with the answer, “How are you?” You’re done. You did your check-in!

Liv talks all about body image and how to stop hating on the skin you're in.

Today, I want to talk about body image. It’s something we as a society are beginning to discuss more and more thanks to the rise of influencers on social media and women empowerment. However, as with all good things, too much can easily tip into the danger zone.

So, let’s talk about body image in the context of self-awareness and overall well-being.

First, and most important, YOU are not your body. Your body is a part of you. I like to think of it as a vehicle. It’s how I, the me that’s actually “me,” rides around the world. Your body is an important part of the human experience, and still, it is not “YOU.”

I think that concept is the most important one to wrap your head around when it comes to body image. We are conditioned to believe our body is who we are, that someone else’s body is who they are, that our every waking thought is valid and must be taken seriously, and that if other people don’t look or think like us, it’s our job to be scared of them.

Think about it for a second: where do things like body shaming and racism stem from? This false idea that we are definable and should be valued by our bodies alone.

You’ve heard the classic, “Never judge a book by its cover,” but how helpful is that? There are so many reasons to do that, primarily safety, but ultimately, how can we not? We’re taught to judge ourselves by our covers, how can we treat others differently?

Liv speaks with The Candid Millennial, Mary Robb, about her anxiety and some ways self-awareness helps her manage it.

If anxiety is a sensitive topic for you, please proceed with caution. While SAM always seeks to be respectful, everyone has their own opinions and experiences which may differ from your own. Remember, you are the authority on you—please only take advice to heart what resonates and works for you. 

Mary made a lot of really great suggestions I hope some of you connect to. Though none of them involved medication, please know that is a viable and sometimes necessary step toward managing your anxiety. 

I have an aversion to what I think is over-medication, so I tend to advocate for other solutions whenever possible. However, sometimes medicine is the best solution. Deep down, if you listen carefully, you already know what you need. If your gut says "Xanax, please," do it.

Part of the point of building self-awareness is to answer day-to-day questions like this without doubt or hesitation. Trust yourself to make the best choice for you at that moment. 

Liv speaks with executive, mother, and author Geri Suster about handling relationship endings with grace.

The topic of graceful exits is one I think is important because in my experience, many of us are ill-prepared for and bad at handling endings. Despite fundamentally knowing all things end, we live as if they don’t, so when a pet dies, a relationship ends, or we lose our jobs, we don’t always handles things well. More often than not, we make a big fat mess as we exit, creating all sorts of baggage we lug around for years, if not forever.

I don’t know about you, but that isn’t how I want to live my life. So, I’m beyond ecstatic to be having this conversation with Geri, and hope her message with resonate with you as it does me.