Self Care and Soul Care for the Caregiver

In episode 49, I've invited my friend Diane Dokko Kim to talk about navigating complicated family relationships. We know family relationships aren't always easy, especially with the extra challenges of being a special-needs family. Diane has so many personal stories to share of how she and her loved ones have overcome hurt feelings, miscommunication, and more. She shares from those experiences and what she's learned from Scripture to heal complicated family relationships. Take time this week to listen and prepare your heart to lead the way toward love, patience, and forgiveness this holiday season.

Connect with Diane Dokko Kim: dianedokkokim.com

This episode is sponsored by Extraordinary Legacy, a One-Night Virtual Conference for Special-Needs Dads from Rising Above Ministries! Click over to register the special-needs dad in your life for this event happening Friday, Nov. 20th!

As we get closer to the end of 2020, I like to reflect on what worked and didn't work for me this year. Obviously, in a year this unique, there's a lot that didn't work for me, but most of that was outside of my control. In today's episode, I'm focusing on what did work for me and my family in such a chaotic year. I've come up with 10 things to share with you! I'm excited to go through the list and hear what worked for you in 2020 when we talk about it in our Abiding Caregiver Facebook group this week! Make sure you're a member so you can join me. Find the link in the show notes at sandrapeoples.com/thepodcast

Becoming a caregiver isn't something most of us prepared for or could have anticipated. It becomes part of our identity when we hear a diagnosis for our child or spouse. Hearing the words, "We believe your son has autism" in November of 2010 changed everything for us. And I know hearing your child or spouse's diagnosis changed so much for you. But we can get so focused on the day-to-day care, we don't take time to look at the big picture of what God is doing in our lives as caregivers. That's why it's important to reflect on these big milestones like the ten-year anniversary. So today as I look back on the last ten years, I'll share what his diagnosis process was like for us, the highs and lows since then, and some of our dreams for the future.

I'll admit to you today that in the last decade, since my son’s autism diagnosis, my prayer life has changed. After so many nights of asking for sleep and not getting it, after praying for help and not getting it, I started only asking for safe requests. I didn't want to demand what God wasn’t willing to give. I didn’t want to be disappointed. But the Holy Spirit led me to Mark 10 and Jesus's encounter with Bartimaeus. The question Jesus asked him is the same question He asked me. And the answer continues to draw me closer to Him in prayer.

Meg Apperson—author, blogger, military wife, and homeschooling mom—knew God her entire life and truly believed she trusted Him with everything. But when her daughter Avery was born with an extremely rare and serious birth defect that could take her away at any moment, Meg realized that Jesus was her everything.

In her book, Sky Full of Stars: Learning to Surrender to God’s Perfect Plans, Meg beautifully shares how God sustained her through the hardest time of her life. In our chat today, Meg shares not only how true, faithful, and loving God is, but how He has a purpose for our pain and suffering.

2020 has been a year we'll never forget. It's amazing what got packed into one year. And we are really feeling it as 2020 ends. But as we enter the last three months of the year, I want to slow down a little and make a plan for what I want to do before it speeds past. Maybe you do too? Maybe you want to take back a little control over the year and set goals you can meet—goals that are less about what you will accomplish and more about what you will enjoy. Let's do that together today as we create a bucket list for the rest of 2020!

This week, I'll be in our Facebook group talking more about my bucket list and asking you to share what's on yours! if you haven't joined us, click here: Abiding Caregiver Facebook group.

This is episode 43, and we're talking about how to abide in Christ during the election season. What do I mean by abide in Christ? I mean we focus on His power, His purpose, and His peace. There are some practical steps we can take to help us focus on His power, purpose, and peace, and we're going to walk through them together today.

I'll also share why my Patreon supporters are so important and what you get if you sign up to support me in that way. Visit patreon.com/sandrapeoples to learn more.

Today we're talking about benevolent detachment, a practice I read about in John Eldredge's book Get Your Life Back. It's the idea of turning over to God what weighs heavy on us and leaving it in His hands. We'll talk about how Jesus practiced this during His life and how we can follow His example. I'll share how I realized it was the solution to something that has been causing me a lot of stress lately. I hope this concept is as helpful to you as it has been to me! 

During this pandemic time, caregivers have been stretched like never before. And if your family is like mine, you're finding your spouse and typical children are getting less time and attention because the family member you're a caregiver for requires so much more. That's why I'm excited to have Jolene Philo join me on the podcast today to talk about her book, Sharing Love Abundantly in Special-Needs Families based on the 5 love languages. Knowing and speaking each other's love languages is the easiest and best way to make everyone in our families feel as loved as possible. This chat will Jolene will help you figure out the love languages of your family members and give creative ways to speak their language.

As we adjust to new routines and the days grow shorter, it's a good time to talk about getting more sleep. I know for caregivers this isn't an easy, three-step process. There are factors out of our control that determine how much sleep we get most nights. But that's why it's even more important to sleep when we can and evaluate and eliminate anything we need to so we can rest better. Today I'll share how we're getting more sleep, including the process my husband Lee went through to get diagnosed with sleep apnea and the small decisions I make throughout the day to set me up for better sleep at night.

In this episode you'll also hear more about my new book, Everyday Prayers for the Special-Needs Mom, and join me in celebrating our 10,000th download!