Self Centered™ with Katie and Allie

This episode is all about what actually supports growth and repair after harm, both for the person who was hurt and the person who caused it. We break down why cancel culture and rushed apologies often backfire, and what needs to be in place instead: psychological safety, time for reflection, and boundaries that protect without enabling. If you've ever questioned what real accountability should look like, this conversation offers a clear, grounded alternative.

YOU WILL LEARN:

• Why cancel culture fails to support true growth and repair
• How psychological safety, boundaries (including no-contact, if needed), and time are critical for genuine self-reflection
• The difference between shame and guilt, and why shame blocks transformation
• The role of community, friends, family, therapists, and restorative justice in supporting accountability
• Why performative apologies often do more harm than good and how to recognize them
• What it looks like to hold firm expectations for accountability without enabling or colluding

RESOURCES:

• Sherman & Strang (2007) Restorative Justice
• Self Centered Ego Series: Episodes 27-30
• Self Centered Cancel Culture: Episode 40

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New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

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Thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.

The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

Why do so many of us struggle with setting healthy boundaries? In this episode, we uncover how culture, family systems, and social pressures shape the way we protect ourselves (or don’t). From cancel culture to hustle culture to family expectations, we’ll break down the hidden forces behind rigid, porous, and healthy boundaries, and how to reclaim your own. This is especially for you if you grew up over-functioning, silenced, or shamed for setting limits or feel scared you'll be cancelled if you express your true self.

You’ll learn:

• The difference between rigid, weak, and healthy boundaries
• How cancel culture mirrors rigid boundaries on a societal level
• How hustle culture and “respect your family” conditioning create porous boundaries
• Practical ways to protect yourself without abandoning connection

OTHER RELEVANT EPISODES:

Boundaries 101: Ep. 6

Communication Styles: Ep. 32

Weak vs Rigid vs Healthy Boundaries: Ep. 38

Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!

New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

Follow us on IG: selfcentered.pod

Thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.

The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

You've probably heard it before: "fitness is my therapy"... but is it really? In this episode, we explore how movement can be a powerful tool for emotional regulation, stress relief, and even brain health, while also naming the moments when fitness shifts into self-abandonment. Through both science and lived experience, we highlight the fine line between using exercise to become more grounded and using it to avoid what truly needs your attention. If you’ve ever asked yourself “am I working out to feel better, or to run away from myself,” this conversation will help you find clarity and balance.

IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:

• How exercise impacts brain chemistry and executive functioning
• The role of exercise in regulating the nervous system and completing the stress cycle
• When exercise becomes a grounding, self-centered practice vs. when it becomes avoidance or self-abandonment
• The importance of choosing exercise types based on life seasons, energy levels, and emotional needs
• Why strength training matters for long-term health (bone density, balance) and how it doesn’t always have to mean “the gym bro” model
• A self check to avoiding overtraining syndrome and self-abandoning fitness habits so you can use exercise as a tool for self-centered physical and mental health.

RESOURCES:

Delaying post-exercise carbohydrate intake impairs next-day exercise capacity but not muscle glycogen or molecular responses

Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!

New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

Follow us on IG: selfcentered.pod

Thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.

The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

For the person who’s questioning if their boundaries are keeping them safe or keeping them stuck, this episode is for you. Today we explore the tension between protection and connection by unpacking rigid vs weak boundaries. If you've ever said "I'm just protecting my peace" but still feel disconnected or lonely, you might be using boundaries as armor rather than alignment. You’ll learn how trauma and survival mode shape overprotective boundaries, and how those once-helpful defenses can unintentionally keep intimacy out.

IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:

• The difference between rigid, weak, and healthy boundaries
• How trauma and survival mode lead to overprotective (rigid) boundaries
• Signs you may have boundaries that are too strong
• How rigid boundaries can feel empowering in the short term but create loneliness in the long run
• Why you might default to weak boundaries in relationships
• How to use discernment, context, and flexibility to shift from rigid to self-honoring boundaries that allow safety and closeness

RESOURCES:

• Episode 6: How to Set and Keep BOUNDARIES, Especially with People Who Don't Respect Them

Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!

New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

Follow us on IG: selfcentered.pod

Thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.

The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

It’s not just about feeling good, it’s about building a life that can hold you in the hard moments.

In this episode, we revisit the 8 dimensions of wellness and share exactly what’s changed for us since our last check-in. You’ll hear the honest truth about our wins, our struggles, and the messy in-between, so you can spot the same patterns in your own life.

You'll learn:

• How to use “wellness dimensions” to spot what’s working and what’s draining you
• Why physical wellness is often the key to improving every other area
• Practical ways to re-center when life throws you off track
• How to measure growth in seasons that still feel messy

By the end, you’ll have a fresh lens to see your own growth, plus ideas to help you re-align where it matters most.

Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!

New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

Follow us on IG: selfcentered.pod

Thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.

The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

We're tuning back in to the Dimensions of Wellness, but with version 2.0! Today, we revisit the 8 Dimensions of Wellness, not just as a checklist, but through the lens of being self-centered. You’ll learn what it looks like to stay grounded ("in your seat") versus what it feels like to abandon yourself in each area of your life. Whether you’re feeling a little off or fully burnt out, this episode will help you understand where and why you're disconnected, so you can realign with clarity and intention.

IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:

• How to use the “dartboard” model to assess how close you are to your center in each wellness dimension
• What it actually means to “stay in your seat” emotionally, physically, spiritually, and socially
• The cost of leaving your seat: burnout, resentment, self-abandonment, and how to stop doing it
• Real-life examples of self-centered (vs. self-sacrificing) habits in all 8 dimensions of wellness
• How to give to others from overflow, not obligation
• When it might be helpful to intentionally stray from your most ideal center in a particular dimension

RESOURCES:

1. Episode 2: Staying in Your Seat
2. Episode 4: The 8 Dimensions of Wellness 1.0
3. Episode 34: Screen Time & Stop the Scroll Challenge
4. Episode 32: Communication Styles
5. Episode 35: Can You Trust Them?

Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!

New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

Follow us on IG: selfcentered.pod

Thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.

The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

You can love someone and still not be able to trust them.

Trust gets complicated, especially when you’re recovering from burnout, people-pleasing, or relational trauma. In this episode, we break down the real components of trust and why discernment (not defaulting to distrust or over-trusting) is the key to staying centered.

Inside, we explore:

• The 7 components of trust from Brené Brown’s BRAVING inventory
• How to recognize when trust is broken due to lack of skill or capacity
• Why saying “I’ll do better” isn’t enough (and what needs to come with it)
• How emotional maturity and ego strength impact your ability to repair or rebuild trust

This is a must-listen if you’ve ever questioned your own judgment or wondered why someone who “means well” keeps letting you down.

RESOURCES: Brené Brown's Resources

Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!

New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

Follow us on IG: selfcentered.pod

Thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.

The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

Alright Selfies, real talk. If you’ve been feeling scattered, anxious, or just off lately, but can’t stop reaching for your phone, this episode is for you.

We’re diving into a wild study where people gave up mobile internet for two weeks (don’t panic; they could still text and call), and the results were astounding: better focus, less anxiety, even more life satisfaction, and improvements comparable to undoing 10 years of age related decline.

We break down why our phones have such a grip on us, what we’re really missing when we’re constantly scrolling, and how reclaiming even a little attention can shift everything. Plus, we share the secret sauce the researchers say actually moved the needle of happiness for 90% of participants, and spoiler alert: it’s not about just ditching your phone.

THIS WEEK'S LEARNINGS:

• Why limiting mobile internet boosted mental health more than antidepressants and nearly as much as therapy methods like CBT
• Real-life ways phone addiction disrupts presence, embodiment, and self-connection
• Have FOMO or ADHD? Why you might benefit most from a mobile internet break
• Simple ways to shift your phone habits and create more intentional space in your day

REFERENCES:

1. Blocking mobile internet on smartphones improves sustained attention, mental health, and subjective well-being
2. Brain Drain: The Mere Presence of One’s Own Smartphone Reduces Available Cognitive Capacity

Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!

New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

Follow us on IG: selfcentered.pod

Thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.

The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

You want to do the right thing but you’re so damn tired.

Do you say something? Keep the peace? Stay quiet even though your values are screaming?

In this episode, we break down how to navigate the messy tension between advocating for what matters and honoring your own limits.

You’ll learn:

• How to assess your priorities, capacity, and influence over the situation
• Using your body as a guide with “red light/green light” check-ins
• How to prioritize your energy without betraying your integrity
• Real questions to ask yourself when you’re stuck in indecision
• How to move from reactive to grounded when deciding whether to speak up

This episode is for the burnt-out advocate, the exhausted overfunctioner, and anyone navigating misaligned values in corporate spaces, friendships, or family. You’re not alone, and you don’t have to betray yourself to do what’s right.

OTHER HELPFUL EPISODES:

Staying in Your Seat - Episode 2

Dimensions of Wellness - Episode 4

Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!

New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

Follow us on IG: selfcentered.pod

Thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.

The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

If you’ve ever struggled to say what you really mean, avoided conflict to keep the peace, or felt like your voice gets lost in relationships, this episode is for you. We’re diving into the four main communication styles: passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive, and breaking down how each one shows up, why we default to them, and what it takes to move toward assertiveness. You’ll learn how emotional regulation and your core beliefs play a major role in how you communicate, and why assertiveness isn’t just the most effective style, it’s also the most self-honoring.

IN THIS EPISODE, YOU WILL LEARN:

• The four primary communication styles and how to identify your default
• Why assertiveness is the ideal communication style, and what makes it so hard to practice
• How emotional dysregulation can fuel passive, aggressive, and passive-aggressive tendencies
• Real-life examples of how communication patterns form in relationships, workplaces, and families
• The core beliefs that keep us stuck in unhelpful communication habits (like “I don’t matter”)
• Actionable steps to move from passivity to clarity and self-advocacy in your daily life

RESOURCES:

• The Ego Series: Episodes 27-30
• The Centered Framework: Episode 30
• How To Set and Keep Boundaries: Episode 6

Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!

New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

Follow us on IG: selfcentered.pod

Thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

The information provided on this podcast does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals.

Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of licensed healthcare providers, mental health practitioners, coaches, or other appropriate professionals regarding their individual circumstances.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and any related content is at your own risk.

By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.