Self Centered™ with Katie and Allie

You finally left the toxic job, the dysfunctional family, or the one-sided relationship, but now you’re exhausted, emotional, and weirdly resistant to rest?

You’re not broken. You’re just coming back to life.

In this honest episode, we talk about:

• What survival mode really looks like (and why it lingers)
• How trauma rewires your baseline and expectations, without you even realizing it
• Why your nervous system resists rest and joy
• Why healing often feels harder right before it gets better
• How to honor your healing while gently reorienting to joy, rest, and alignment

Perfect for anyone recovering from toxic relationships, chronic burnout, over-functioning, or high-stress work environments, this one is for the Selfies who are ready to get their sparkle back.

Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!

New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

Follow us on IG: selfcentered.pod

Thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

The information provided on this podcast does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals.

Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of licensed healthcare providers, mental health practitioners, coaches, or other appropriate professionals regarding their individual circumstances.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and any related content is at your own risk.

By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

What do you really need to feel like yourself again? In this final episode of our ego series, we reveal the CENTERED framework, 8 key abilities you need to build ego strength, stay rooted in your real, authentic self, and finally live in alignment with your values.

Do you know what your needs are?

Can you speak your truth without shame?

Are your choices led by values, or survival mode?

Listen to this episode to walk away with:

• A clear, practical framework for becoming emotionally steady and self-led
• Real stories of how we shifted from ego-driven patterns to values-based alignment
• Guidance to assess where you’re strong and where you’re still growing
• Encouragement to keep returning to your center, even when it’s uncomfortable

This is the episode that ties it all together. If you’re ready to stop abandoning yourself and start leading from your center, this one’s for you.

Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!

New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

Follow us on IG: selfcentered.pod

Thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

The information provided on this podcast does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals.

Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of licensed healthcare providers, mental health practitioners, coaches, or other appropriate professionals regarding their individual circumstances.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and any related content is at your own risk.

By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling confused, doubting yourself, or thinking, “Wait… what just happened?” This episode of Self-Centered is here to help you put words to that feeling. In the third installment of our ego series, we unpack gaslighting—how it shows up both intentionally and unintentionally, and introduce four essential filters you can use to recognize it and protect your self-trust. This episode is especially for the overthinkers, the self-blamers, and the deeply empathetic souls who tend to abandon themselves in the name of love, peace, or understanding. You’ll leave with a clearer sense of reality, stronger internal validation, and tools to make yourself truly unfuckwithable.

IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:

• The two types of gaslighting: intentional manipulation and unconscious distortion caused by defense mechanisms
• Why well-meaning people can still gaslight you and how to tell the difference
• The four filters of self-trust that help you discern truth, gaslighting, and genuine feedback
• How defense mechanisms like projection, denial, and minimization warp conversations
• Why logic doesn’t work on someone actively gaslighting you and why you must tune into your Internal Guidance System
• What it feels like to be around a fragile ego and how to stop abandoning yourself trying to be understood

Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!

New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

Follow us on IG: selfcentered.pod

Thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

The information provided on this podcast does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals.

Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of licensed healthcare providers, mental health practitioners, coaches, or other appropriate professionals regarding their individual circumstances.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and any related content is at your own risk.

By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

Ever wonder why someone flips out over simple feedback? Or why you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around certain people?

This episode breaks down how ego strength (or the lack of it) impacts your self-talk and emotional regulation, as well as how people perceive (or distort) reality and show up in relationships. Whether you’re someone who tends to spiral in shame or you’re trying to make sense of someone else’s defensiveness, we help you decode the emotional roots beneath the behavior.

YOU'LL LEARN:

• How a strong ego helps you handle feedback, self-soothe, and show up with integrity
• What a weak ego looks like in others (think denial, blame, and projection)
• Why fragile egos can’t handle feedback and often push others away
• How to tell if someone is emotionally mature or stuck in a primitive defense mechanism
• How trauma creates fragmented identities and fuels people-pleasing or narcissism
• What to look for when you’re trying to tell if someone is emotionally safe

This is a must listen if you’re trying to understand your own reactions and stop getting stuck in confusing, emotionally draining relationships. You’ll leave with insight, clarity, and the language to spot these patterns in yourself and others, so you can stop overfunctioning and start protecting your peace.

SOURCES: Excerpts read from the book "Psychoanalytic Diagnosis: Understanding Personality Structure in the Clinical Process" by Nancy McWilliams, Ph.D, ABPP

Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!

New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

Follow us on IG: selfcentered.pod

Thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

The information provided on this podcast does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals.

Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of licensed healthcare providers, mental health practitioners, coaches, or other appropriate professionals regarding their individual circumstances.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and any related content is at your own risk.

By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

You’ve heard the word ego tossed around like it’s a bad thing—like it only shows up in narcissists, jerks, or self-obsessed people. But what if that’s not the whole story?

In this first episode of our 4-part ego series, we break down what the ego actually is (hint: you have one, and you need it), how it develops, and why it matters for your emotional wellbeing, boundaries, and sense of self.

Through a psychodynamic lens, we explore how weak or wounded egos often lead to behaviors like gaslighting, narcissism, people-pleasing, or perfectionism, and how understanding this can help you stop personalizing other people’s projections.

If you’ve ever thought “Why do I keep ending up in these dynamics?” or “What’s wrong with me?” then this episode will offer clarity, not blame, and a path back to your centered self.

IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:

• What the ego actually is and why it's not something you need to get rid of
• How a wounded or weak ego distorts reality and can lead to gaslighting, blame-shifting, or emotional confusion
• The subtle ways perfectionism, people-pleasing, and even narcissistic traits can be masks for unmet emotional needs
• Why some people can’t meet you in the middle... no matter how much you clarify, explain, or self-reflect
• What it means to develop a strong, centered ego (and why that’s different from being ego-driven)
• How childhood dynamics and lack of emotional mirroring can shape adult relationship patterns

Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!

New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

Follow us on IG: selfcentered.pod

Thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

The information provided on this podcast does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals.

Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of licensed healthcare providers, mental health practitioners, coaches, or other appropriate professionals regarding their individual circumstances.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and any related content is at your own risk.

By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

In this real, raw episode, Allie and Katie talk about the emotional limbo that happens after a breakup, when you’re no longer who you were with them—but not yet fully who you’re becoming on your own.

This isn’t just about heartbreak. It’s about your shifting identity, letting go of the future you imagined, and slowly rebuilding a life that feels like yours.

We talk about:

• Why you can grieve something you chose to walk away from
• What it actually means to “feel your feelings” (and the sneaky way you're probably unknowingly avoiding them)
• The science of why you’re still craving contact with your ex (hello, dopamine hits)
• Why rushing to understand keeps you stuck—and how clarity actually comes
• How to start reconnecting to your center (without rebounding, overanalyzing, or abandoning yourself again)

This episode is for you if:

You’re trying to find solid ground in the confusing season after a breakup. You want to stop spiraling, feel more like yourself again, and build a future that finally fits you.

Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!

New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

Follow us on IG: selfcentered.pod

Thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

The information provided on this podcast does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals.

Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of licensed healthcare providers, mental health practitioners, coaches, or other appropriate professionals regarding their individual circumstances.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and any related content is at your own risk.

By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

If you’ve ever felt like love, respect, or even basic human decency must be earned through performance, perfection, or self-sacrifice, this episode is for you. We explore the hidden roots of people-pleasing and perfectionism, revealing how these patterns often begin as adaptive strategies in childhood but quietly follow us into adult relationships, work, and self-worth. Through personal stories, emotional breakthroughs, and raw reflection, we uncover how a core belief of being “unlovable unless” fuels the need to over-function, prove ourselves, and stay small. Most importantly, we discuss how to break free from these cycles and begin honoring your needs without guilt or fear of rejection.

IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:

• Why people-pleasing and perfectionism often form as survival strategies in childhood and how they shape adult relationships.
• The deeper emotional cost of “shrinking” yourself for others’ comfort or approval.
• How core beliefs like “I’m not lovable unless I make others happy” quietly drive over-functioning and self-abandonment.
• The role of family dynamics, emotional manipulation, and silent treatment in shaping your worthiness blueprint.
• How to recognize the difference between true incompatibility and your inner critic trying to justify rejection.
• A powerful reframe: when someone can’t “digest” who you are, it says more about their limitations than your value.

New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

Follow us on IG: selfcentered.pod

Got thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

The information provided on this podcast does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals.

Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of licensed healthcare providers, mental health practitioners, coaches, or other appropriate professionals regarding their individual circumstances.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and any related content is at your own risk.

By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

Do you ever feel like your life looks good on paper—but something’s still off?

In this episode, we unpack how not living your true values leads to feeling burnt out and empty, and how to identify and prioritize what really matters to create a life that lights you up. Perfect for recovering people-pleasers, type As, and over-functioners.

We cover:

• What values really are—and how they’re shaped by family, culture, and conditions of worth
• How to tell if your priorities are betraying your actual needs
• The link between values, self-esteem, and emotional exhaustion
• Prompts to help you reconnect with what actually matters to you

New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

Follow us on IG: selfcentered.pod

Got thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

The information provided on this podcast does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals.

Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of licensed healthcare providers, mental health practitioners, coaches, or other appropriate professionals regarding their individual circumstances.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and any related content is at your own risk.

By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

Somewhere in adulthood, an inevitable shift occurs where making and retaining new friends just seems tough - but it doesn't have to be. In this episode, we explore why friendship often takes a backseat as we age and how to shift your mindset and approach to build meaningful, mutual connections. Whether you're craving deeper relationships, moving to a new city, or just tired of feeling disconnected, this conversation is packed with honesty, strategies, and encouragement for getting out of an isolated rut. This episode is for anyone who wants to make friends more intentionally while staying true to themselves.

IN THIS EPISODE, YOU WILL LEARN:

• Why friendship often fades into the background during adulthood and how to change that.
• What it really means to be "friendship available" and how to signal that to others.
• Tips for moving past self-consciousness and initiating connection in low-stakes ways, even as an introvert.
• How to recognize when a connection feels mutual—and when it doesn't.
• Why shared intention and clear communication are key to deepening adult friendships.
• The power of staying open-hearted (but grounded) while you expand your social circle.

Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!

New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

Follow us on IG: selfcentered.pod

Got thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

The information provided on this podcast does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals.

Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of licensed healthcare providers, mental health practitioners, coaches, or other appropriate professionals regarding their individual circumstances.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and any related content is at your own risk.

By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

Loneliness is as dangerous as smoking and most people don’t even realize it.

In today’s conversation, we break down the research on why emotionally safe, reciprocal relationships are essential for your health, happiness, and self-worth. Plus, we share practical tools for spotting real connection versus surface-level friendships and love. If you want deeper friendships, better romantic relationships, or to feel a little less alone, this one’s for you.

Inside this episode:

• The 4 personality traits and 5 skills that predict thriving relationships
• How to trust yourself when navigating friendships and dating
• Why authenticity is magnetic, and how to develop it
• Why being self centered is the key to healthy intimacy

SOURCES:

Harvard Adult Development Study

Gender Differences in Singles' Wellbeing

Social Relationships and Mortality Risk

Friendship and Happiness

Authenticity

Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!

New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

Follow us on IG: selfcentered.pod

Got thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

The information provided on this podcast does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals.

Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of licensed healthcare providers, mental health practitioners, coaches, or other appropriate professionals regarding their individual circumstances.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and any related content is at your own risk.

By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.