Self-Defined Human Podcast

Spiral Dynamics is a framework for making sense of the forces that drive culture. It helps you understand why YouTube commenters are such jerks. Also, why the Godfather cares so much about respect. And why Osho started his cult. And why air traffic controllers aren’t to blame for mid-air collisions.

I’d take it to a desert island.

Stay tuned for more episodes on the other colors.

(Instagram live, April 26, 2023)

0:00 – Introduction
3:17 – The Ice Cream Truck Song (the Entertainer)
6:55 – Spiral Dynamics
10:23 – Overview of the colors
20:01 – Zagreb mid-air collision
27:27 – Osho, Wild Wild Country
28:50 – Yellow (systems thinking)
31:19 – Purple (animism, shamanism)
34:08 – Still DRE
39:46 – Leo Gura (actualized.org)
42:55 – Red
44:29 – Sacred cows in FB groups
46:10 – Revenge of the Nerds
47:27 – Instagram algorithm
50:41 – Respect
51:40 – The Godfather
54:09 – YouTube comments

Only you can teach yourself how to read music. I have no power over you. The Universe will do its thing, and no, it’s not fair. But here’s a placebo to keep you company. It might even work.

(Instagram live, April 24, 2023)

0:00 – Introduction
1:30 – How to read music
10:44 – Major and minor keys
16:48 – The Karate Kid (homework 1)
18:21 – Major and minor chords
19:05 – The Empowerment Dynamic
27:36 – C major chord, treble/bass clef
30:02 – Spiral Dynamics (homework 2)
35:22 – Teachers don’t care about you
40:17 – Philosophy is stupid
42:32 – Weird Al
44:46 – Bo Burnham “Inside” (homework 4)
47:42 – Seventh chords
51:56 – Parting words

All about meditation, language, non-duality and waking up to b******t. This is graduate-level piano material. Actually, it’s a bit beyond that.

(Instagram Live from April 22, 2023)

0:00 Introduction
0:48 Meditation
10:10 Is classical music better than contemporary music?
11:30 Enlightenment
21:52 Form vs Function
25:45 A language exercise
30:43 Duality vs Non-duality
35:30 Why YouTube comments suck
40:40 B.F. Skinner, “Verbal Behavior”
41:42 The pandemic was a good thing
42:28 AI, revenge porn
47:48 Marshall Rosenberg, Amtsprache
51:49 Asleep vs awake people

Welcome to 4-dimensional space. Glad you could join me on this higher plane of existence. Now, let me set the record straight about some of y’all’s problems with me.

(Piano Time Live on Instagram, April 21, 2023)

Timeline:

0:00 – Introduction
1:39 – Golden Hour
5:48 – 3-step exercise to play with both hands
10:51 – The 4th dimension
19:18 – Für Elise
22:26 – Moonlight Sonata
24:59 – The Empowerment Dynamic and the Drama Triangle
28:56 – Jordan Peterson is awesome
31:49 – Nerds who correct “misinformation” on social media
34:19 – Osho, Wild Wild Country

I invited Dr. David Servias to have a conversation with me about the Bach Toccata & Fugue fiasco. We discuss the history of the piece, why the NERDS can’t process one out-of-place note, and how I’m dealing with hate on my YouTube channel.

For the backstory, watch the original video (and read the comments )

Timeline:

00:00:00 – I posted a cute little piano tutorial and the music theory NERDS freaked out.

00:02:39 – Bringing Dr. Servias on to help settle the debate.

00:04:22 – The list of accusations against me. Responding “appropriately.” Two kinds of nerds.

00:05:57 – David explains the controversy. What’s the Toccata and Fugue? What did I play? What were they expecting me to play?

00:11:32 – Does any of this matter? What would Bach have said? Would you have to follow his orders?

00:13:56 – The history of the Toccata & Fugue in D minor. Why’s this such a big deal? There’s no manuscript. Disney’s Fantasia.

00:26:09 – My pinned comment. Are they lying? Evolution vs. creation.

00:36:21 – How do I respond to all this? Your mom jokes. Credibility.

00:39:17 – The time a hater quoted MY OWN TEACHER to prove me wrong. Urtext editions. Was Glenn Gould a troll?

00:49:17 – Why I used “your mom” jokes to reply to comments. Are mom jokes insults? Using offense as a weapon.

00:53:24 – Doubling down. Agreeing with the haters. Making fun of yourself first. Taking the wind out of their sails. Trying all the different approaches.

00:55:43 – My videos are for adults, not kids. But I’m not making this an 18+ channel to protect the kids. Sorry.

00:56:26 – Is it wrong to delete comments? It rubs them the wrong way. Free speech. But you’re all guests at my party. Why I hate inclusivity. Facebook groups that have rules about respecting everyone’s opinions are a mess.

01:01:01 – They can make their own videos and talk about anything they want. Even trash-talking me.

01:08:23 – Why I’m not going to prove I have a master’s degree. Negotiating with terrorists. I’m not good at piano but I’m better than all of you.

01:09:50 – They don’t like my personality. How I don’t conform. They’re envious. They want respect and view it as a scarce resource.These people hate children. Generational trauma.

01:13:20 – “Bro pinned his own comment!”, “Bro wrote a WHOLE ESSAY!”. Artists vs. graffiti vandals. “You’re just doing it for views!”

01:15:47 – Am I a “troll”? There are two kinds of trolls. The word is ambiguous. I’m a “classical troll.” Trolls vs. haters. “Piece” vs. “song”. HTML the “programming language”. I’m going to keep trying to rock the boat. Paris Hilton. Howard Stern. Amy’s Baking Company.

Let’s talk about how to learn to play the piano. It’s a big subject, but we’ve gotta start somewhere.

0:00 – Should I change the name of the podcast?
0:47 – Pandemic regrets. Being taunted by the piano in your living room.
2:31 – Why I get irritated when people want to learn piano. My experiences with language learning and classical guitar.
4:40 – What makes Michael Korman good at piano?
5:48 – Piano’s an old instrument.
6:35 – What the pedals are all about.
8:03 – Do you have to take lessons?
9:24 – Can you learn from YouTube?
10:16 – Why adults can’t learn piano.
12:08 – Why kids have no problem learning piano.
14:41 – About my 5-day course.
14:59 – Why it shouldn’t take years to be able to play “River Flows in You.”
16:27 – Why you’re addicted to being “impressive”.
17:41 – A quick reminder that this isn’t philosophical nonsense.
19:08 – Why I can’t relate to beginner pianists.
20:42 – About my tutorials where I write numbers on the keys.
22:04 – Octaves, notes, names of notes, visual orientation/memory.
23:55 – How to learn to read music.
24:36 – I don’t care about helping you learn to read music.
25:28 – Why I’m good at reading and you’re not.
26:55 – I should really stop being so judgmental.

People with ADHD have to do these things differently:

• Finding out if a teacher is qualified


• Learning a new song


• Buying a piano or keyboard


• Writing music…getting ideas out of your head


• Dealing with criticism


• Getting excited and then losing interest


• Following advice


• Practicing regularly

The standard advice just ain’t gonna work.

How I got obsessed with piano scales. Why audiences liked to watch Pavarotti struggle. Pianists are clueless about body intelligence. Why you learned in school to hyper-fixate on outcomes and suck at physical education.

0:00 Why I’ve been reluctant to go into anything technical on this podcast.

3:00 How I got started with scales and why I hated them at first.

7:30 Why piano should be easy and singing should be hard (just ask Pavarotti).

9:30 Why I avoided scales and felt ashamed.

12:20 The first book that changed the way I practice the piano (Fundamentals of Piano Practice by C. C. Chang).

18:40 I used to think scales were stupid (this was a rationalization of my avoidance tactics).

23:36 “Michael, why don’t you learn some Chopin Etudes?”

27:45 Pianists are obsessed with the goddamn thumb issue.

30:00 My brush with debilitating injury. Trying to find answers in books (good luck, Michael).

33:00 The second book that changed the way I practice the piano (20 Lessons in Keyboard Choreography by Seymour Bernstein).

38:10 Piano is athletic (back off, haters and basketball players).

42:15 Getting enmeshed in the Taubman Cult. Bigger movements and shapes.

45:00 Chopin taught the B major scale first (wtf!?). That’s because it’s easier the C major scale.

48:00 Why scales are a problem. It’s because of what we learned in school. Fixation on symbols.

52:40 Piano is about timing, and your gym class taught you to mess this up.

My post read:

“Your ex wasn’t abusive. You made a decision to get into that relationship and you made a decision to get out. Take some responsibility for your decisions.”

Some people got triggered.

A conversation with Fabienne Egger (@this_is_fabienne on Instagram) about yoga, the metaverse, speaking on camera, the Drama Triangle, and the true purpose of meditation and yoga.

If you teach yoga or meditation, or are a serious practitioner of either, you should be aware of your responsibilities.

For the first half hour, we catch up on some personal stuff. The real content starts after that point.

0:00 – Warming up with some finger yoga while we wait for Fabi.

3:42 – Addressing some points from the tribute live Michael and David (@stuff.david.does) did for Fabi recently.

5:57 – Are Swiss people funny? Is there even standup comedy in Switzerland?

7:01 – Is Fabi an extreme sports chick? She doesn’t see herself that way.

16:48 – Fabi got triggered by stuff Michael said about yoga teachers. What’s going on there?

23:58 – Awkward silences. The pressure of needing to talk. Michael is simply a mirror. What pisses Michael off the most about Fabi.

31:08 – Fabi talks about hurting her neck doing headstands. Michael has a problem with teachers saying “be careful!”

50:31 – Michael gets impatient and wants the conversation to be addictive.

52:43 – Maybe it will be more fun in the metaverse. Michael talks about his computer science knowledge and why he’s not thrilled about coming changes.

1:12:13 – Fabi remembers why she first got interested in Michael (it was because of his journey learning to use his eyes and voice on camera).

1:34:05 – But, Fabi doesn’t think Michael’s jokes are funny.

1:38:07 – What’s “karmic trash collection”? How we can break chains of causality and generational trauma.