Self-worth – Michelle Sparkes

To know our worth and value at a deep level sets us up to do life in ways that are health-promoting and life-affirming. In this podcast I explore how our self concept develops using the analogy of building a house. We all have different experiences growing up and some people appear to have better “foundations” than others, but the storms of life hit us all at various times, and when they do, we have an opportunity to see what we’re basing our worth upon and to sink our roots deeper into eternal truths that don’t change. This audio is stripped from the video teaching I do on this subject in the 4×4 Freedom Express. You can access the video here.

Questions and feedback welcome.

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@mp_sparkes

What we believe in our heart shapes the way we see and do life – which in turn shapes our experiences and beliefs. It can be a continuing circle for good, health and life promotion, or it can be a continuing cycle for negativity, low self esteem and poor relationships. We have different life experiences but I would argue that we all have a solid reason to believe in our unique and unshakeable self worth. This audio is stripped from the video teaching I do on this subject in the 4×4 Freedom Express. You can access the video here.

Questions and feedback welcome.

[email protected]

@mp_sparkes

Self Esteem Vs Self Worth. Are they different? How are they different? And what difference does that make? I believe they are different and that the difference is significant to our mental health and well being. Here’s why…

Self esteem refers to how we esteem (or value) ourselves and is made up of all our beliefs about who we are, what we can be and what we can do in the future.  Our experience of life shapes our self esteem (or self-valuing) which in turn, shapes our experience of life…for good or for ill. Self worth is more intrinsic and stable. It’s a reflection of who we are by design, unique, and I believe loved. Not only can we develop a healthy self worth, we can anchor it into a solid base of love and chosen-ness, that doesn’t change despite our shifting circumstances, experiences and beliefs.

As promised in the podcast, here is a link to the video teaching I do on this subject in the 4×4 Freedom Express. You can access the video here.

Feedback and Questions welcome.

[email protected]

@mp_sparkes

Where we sit today (inside our skin; at home in our bodies) will be a reflection of our experiences – how we have internalised and processed our experiences and how these have shaped our beliefs, attitudes and behaviours – towards our body, our self, other people, our world. As we continue to act on, and in, our world we will have new experiences, which will confirm, challenge or shift our existing beliefs, attitudes and behaviours. And so we cycle. Moving forward into more health-promoting, life-affirming beliefs, attitudes and behaviours or backwards into less helpful, less healthy beliefs, attitudes and behaviours. But experience isn’t the last word, and our beliefs can change so how do we anchor our worth and value in a solid base? Here are some thoughts.

Questions and feedback welcome.

[email protected]

@mp_sparkes

In this podcast I explore the lie at the heart of an eating disorder – how it starts in seed form and develops over time, being reinforced by the food control ‘solution.’ I explore why I believe human and divine connection is so important in breaking through the lie and helping a person move towards freedom and wholeness, and I share my own experience of travelling into the heart of the lie with anorexia , nearly losing my life to it, how the lie was exposed and how I began to get FREE.

Feedback and questions welcome.

[email protected]

@mp_sparkes

In the last episode I said that changing core beliefs requires more than just challenging our thinking. We need an encounter with truth that is experiential, life-affirming, full of grace and transformative. I shared how I experience this in relationship with the God who loves me unconditionally.  But another very powerful and healing relationship is the therapeutic relationship where we can re-process old pain (places where we’re “stuck”),in the presence of a skilled and enlightened witness and have a new experience that challenges our previously held beliefs and judgments, generates self-compassion and enables us to go forward in new, more life-affirming, health-full ways. Doing this “experiential” work from a place that is emotionally hot (not clinical, cold and unemotional), is transformative.  I am trained to use an emotionally focused approach  in my practice as a registered counsellor. Feedback and questions welcome.

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mp_sparkes

In the last few episodes I’ve been speaking about capturing and challenging unhelpful thinking. This is an important tool in getting free from disordered eating but it’s not the whole story. Our thoughts spring out of our deeply held beliefs and these beliefs are formed in the crucible of our self and life experience. To transform these deeper core beliefs we need an encounter with truth that hits us at a deep core level and that carries with it an experience of the reality it embodies. I experience this in relationship with the God who loves me unconditionally.  In His acceptance I rest and can open my heart to the love and nurture that is around me. I can challenge my thoughts from a place that is peaceful not striving. This is powerful and transforming.

[email protected]

mp_sparkes

The 4th component of each of the 4 keys (in the 4×4 Freedom Express) is a spiritual component and I believe it’s foundational to getting whole and FREE in any area of life. I adopt a Christian worldview in that I believe human beings (and the world we inhabit) are CREATED, and that influences everything I say and do. What about you? You don’t have to believe what I do but you do need to think about what you believe, particularly in regard to your personal worth and value because that will be infinitely relevant to your struggle with disordered eating.  Questions and feedback welcome.

[email protected] @mp_sparkes

I believe body acceptance reflects self acceptance; that how we feel towards, think and value our “selves” is the key to how we treat our bodies. I also acknowledge that social and cultural values strongly influence the communities, families and groups we belong to and thus affect how we value our bodies and our selves. To recover from an eating disorder we need to help the individual and address the broader sociocultural factors at play. I believe there are 3 foundational truths that (experienced) can liberate a person from unhelpful cultural and internalised values and bring healing to the dis-ease at the heart of disordered eating. I welcome your feedback and questions. [email protected] @mp_sparkes

Real bodies are real beautiful because they house real people inside. But in a landscape of digitally and physically enhanced bodies, how do we determine where the lines and healthy boundaries are for us in terms of enhancement? These questions are not as simple as they first appear because we all engage in body/self care /enhancement to some degree or another – from the functional to the obsessional – from the clothes we wear, to whether  we cut, style or colour our hair, groom our bodies, use make-up, exfoliants, facials, fillers, botox, cosmetic surgery. Where’s the line for you and how do you determine that?

I think what is important is that we have opportunity to talk through and think through these issues and come to our own conclusions. To reflect and consider long enough to avoid behaviours and trends that may not serve us in the long-term. I welcome your thoughts and reflections. [email protected]  @mp_sparkes