Selfed

We often hear "sometimes you gotta meet people where they are", and I disagree with that. We gotta meet people where WE are in order to match energy. I talk about how I've historically adapted myself meeting people where they're at and how the inconsistencies there highlight my own insecurities.

As I assess boundaries for myself and identity care practices, I have come to terms with the fact that I repeat a pattern in my relationships where I recreate an unhealthy conforming of my emotional support. When applied to that which prioritizes my spirit's needs, the body's needs are met, but when I use that to get my body's needs met, my spirit is being diminished as a result. I have to disengage from that which isn't in line with my overall mission as those disconnects are what create symptoms of burnout for me.

The day I recorded this episode, I heard four accounts of suicide all within a two hour time window and didn't bat an eye. After reflection in a Yoga class, my journal entry revealed that just because you're numb to or used to something doesn't mean there isn't damage still being done. I became aware of my feelings of activation being repressed by the pressure of being methodical so that I'm not coming off as impatient, but truth be told, there are people who don't have the luxury of doing that so I have to see my impatience as initiative. I initiated a major step to creating systemic change in one avenue for suicide ideation today.

Record of Ragnarok is a Netflix Anime series that puts humanity against the Gods. The show highlights differences and similarities between man and God. One of these key differences is that man's mortality gives us a finite time to become who we are before our expiration. Gods are born who they are. One character in particular who stands out to me was known in life for losing/failing. I speak to shifting my own perspective to adopt this intention as my own in pursuit of success.

In my Yoga teacher training, we practice self-reflection more than I can say I ever done anything else before. Yesterday's reflection was about how seemingly anytime I attempt to do things for myself, I'm met with the tiniest of obstacles or distractions that then become prioritized over my need for self-expression. The spaces I create for stillness always seem to be disrupted by a phone notification, an urge/compulsion to "do" rather than be, or I come across something that I had put off for a while. This episode offers a practice I'm implementing moving forward to stop indulging in the extreme of taking care of needs, to more time to create space for stillness.

From the perspective of an upper lower class person, I've had an opportunity to indulge in necessary luxuries of healing experiences having to disconnect from regular life due to the pandemic.I recognize my value when it comes to my financial worth. It took a whole year of unemployment for me to shift my beliefs from those instilled in me that don't serve me but we made it!

Revisit after listening. Missing Description

My buddy hit me with the most epic food analogy that applies to life interactions with people. I was cutting sweet potatoes for fries with my burger. I was putting in a lot of effort for these sweet potato fries. Do you know how hard those are to cut!? My friend AJ just pointed out to me that it's a sweet potato and that I could just make it in a more simple way. His analogy made me reflect on how I adapt myself and try to change others in relationships rather than accepting them for who they are.

In Yoga, the upper back is a place for emotions like frustration, anger and rage. The hips store sexual trauma, but looking at my own life experiences and pre-life experiences, I've struggled with my right to be here which shows up in the root chakra. My life to this point has been about proving that I deserve to be here. Working through and feeling the emotions without the normal distractions I've engaged in allowed for me to feel and heal. I know that because I AM HERE that I deserve to be and my efforts to prove that to anyone is unnecessary.

Here I explore energy in motion. I like to think that's the expanded wording for what emotions are. I had a couple of breakups over the last week and put my lessons from them on display here. I've learned that support, challenge and celebration are important to me in my relationships as these are the ways I feel seen and emotionally safe.

What's wild is that as a black man who dates outside my race, I feel like I can't express myself emotionally with too much intensity because of a genuine concern of it being misinterpreted as hostility. This causes a repression of emotions that turn into an explosion of aggression. We know how that goes in 2021.