All ghosts love each other. I started working on this concept in 2018. I came up with the idea when I noticed that the only romantic partners I was connecting with was through trauma. We were trauma bonding (although at the time I didn’t know that term).

When two ghosts haunt a house they can sometimes fall in love. They’ve gone unseen for so long that when someone finally notices them they might mistake it for intimacy and love. It’s not the worst thing in the world. But it doesn’t lay a good foundation for a relationship.

It took me years to figure out who was a ghost and who wasn’t because there’s another type of person. The Shaman. These are people that can cross a boundary and return. Unlike a ghost, they are never stuck. 

Unless they forget who they are.

I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me.

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Spinning out. We all have moments where we get so overwhelmed that we lose our ability for rational thought. I think some of us do it more than others but there’s always something that sends us down a rabbit hole. The most important thing I’ve learned in the last six years that I can weather a lot of storms. Not all of them, but most of them. I haven’t failed yet. But I see how I spend so much energy on trying to protect myself from what might happen. That energy is best spent in the moment. Being present. That is the way to live a life.

I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me.

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Guilt and shame. These two terms are often confused with each other. I know I didn’t understand the difference for years. Guilt is the belief you did something wrong, shame is the belief you are the thing that is wrong.

For me, I always default to shame. It’s something I struggle with a lot. I think a lot of us do. It’s important to know that we are never the thing that is wrong. It’s our actions that define us, not our being.

I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me.

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Years ago I worked on a job in Mexico and I fell in love with a woman. We got married and created a life together. Along the way I found I not only loved her, I loved her country as well.

That marriage ended earlier this year. I have to figure out what my relationship is to Mexico. What’s left for me? Twenty years of visiting a place that I have no real connection to anymore but I still feel in my bones. Mexico became a part of me.

I now start the journey of re-creating a relationship with a place I cannot live without.

I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me.

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Like attracts like. It's ironic that sometimes the thing we hate is the thing we invited in. What I found over the years of trying to right my ship was that I usually caused the issue I was struggling with. If we are in a bad space, generally speaking, we will only have access to people on our same level. It's up to us to make the changes so we can meet different energy.

I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me.

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Trust is a hard one for me. I grew up in a love insecure environment and that set me off on a path of a lifetime struggle to figure out how to let people in. My love life has always been a mess. I think my marriage is the only bright and shining moment... so far. But every other relationship I’ve ever had has been fraught with insecurity and doubt and protectionism. I always see walls.

In this episode, I talk about some very hard things for me. These are my scars. These are the things I went through. I’m exposing them now with the hopes that somebody might hear it and know that they’re not alone.

I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me.

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Boundaries are part of every healthy relationship. But as I learned to draw more (and better) boundaries, I realized there was resistance. The people I cared about pushed back in the weirdest ways. It took a long time to learn this but you teach people how to treat you. It took them long time to learn how to treat you the first time so when you want to be treated differently, it’s gonna take everyone a moment to learn again.

I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me.

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We all have times in our lives when we have to start over. Sometimes it’s by choice sometimes not. For me the end of my marriage was both. I chose to deal with something from the past and it caused the present to disintegrate. What I think is important, the most important lesson I learned through that process, is that it’s okay to let go of the past.

I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me.

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One of the most important lessons I’ve learned over the past six years is how to forget. I don’t mean ignoring something. What I mean is I’ve learned how to let go of my bad habits. I have learned how to let go of what used to keep me safe. Whether it did or not is irrelevant. All that mattered is at some point, the things that kept me safe were the things that held me back.

I named this podcast Seth Forgets as an anchor so I would never forget how to forget. We have to let go in order to move on.

I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me.

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Welcome to Seth Forgets, a podcast about navigating life after doing the work. This entire show is recorded out in the world while walking around. Just like life, amazing things can happen if you get up off the couch and leave the house.

I record myself as I walk. Sometimes people hear me.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.