It's that time of the year when we lower Steve into a pig trough, talk Severance, and discuss a random viral video literally MOMENTS before it expires. This is the problem with talking about memes on a podcast that goes up days later. Even if we wake up at 4:23, dive into a pool, drown our faces in ice water, and then finish working out by 4:25, we've already missed the meme's window of relevance. Whatever. What's new. Drink your water and keep up the hustle.

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The only reason people do that crap is so other people can see them do it. We desire the desire of the other, particularly the Big Other. Why don't you stop waking up early and "grinding" and instead pick up some Lacan or Gebser or Jung and try "reading." Or not, whatever, what do I know. These influencers are fit as heck. That dude from that video could snap me like a soggy twig, so whom am I to spit out thinly veiled jealousy in the form of intellectual dazzling? That said, I may be operating alongside a strand of jealousy but that strand does not cancel out the patchwork quilt of dorkiness that subsumes these consumerist, capitalist losers into a malaise of never-ending performance, these marionette dolls for corporations and icons for the dim-witted. No one reads these diatribes, anyway. I could say anything I want down here. The description of these podcasts is my oyster. And I am a pearl. Pearl Buck. The Good Earth. Full circle. May we all walk each other home.