It's that time of the year when we lower Steve into a pig trough, talk Severance, and discuss a random viral video literally MOMENTS before it expires. This is the problem with talking about memes on a podcast that goes up days later. Even if we wake up at 4:23, dive into a pool, drown our faces in ice water, and then finish working out by 4:25, we've already missed the meme's window of relevance. Whatever. What's new. Drink your water and keep up the hustle.

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The only reason people do that crap is so other people can see them do it. We desire the desire of the other, particularly the Big Other. Why don't you stop waking up early and "grinding" and instead pick up some Lacan or Gebser or Jung and try "reading." Or not, whatever, what do I know. These influencers are fit as heck. That dude from that video could snap me like a soggy twig, so whom am I to spit out thinly veiled jealousy in the form of intellectual dazzling? That said, I may be operating alongside a strand of jealousy but that strand does not cancel out the patchwork quilt of dorkiness that subsumes these consumerist, capitalist losers into a malaise of never-ending performance, these marionette dolls for corporations and icons for the dim-witted. No one reads these diatribes, anyway. I could say anything I want down here. The description of these podcasts is my oyster. And I am a pearl. Pearl Buck. The Good Earth. Full circle. May we all walk each other home.

With Steve out, it's Joelliott time. That means we're talking things that annoy us, like that trend where people just stare at a video they're watching and nod, or empathy. Potato potahto, right?!

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The opinions expressed in this podcast are probably not even the hosts' but rather amalgamations cobbled together through associations presented through an algorithm designed to give the illusion of digital free will.

As Elliott wows/disappoints Joe and Steve with his silly Ninja Creami, Steve baffles Joe and Elliott with his secret ball of ice cream. Did you have an ice cream ball? Why did no one tell us about this? Why did have Creami if ball do ice cream good too?

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Ball not make ice cream but Crami not ice cream blend already frozen but can't toss Creami

While Elliott parades nude through the streets of storm-stricken Sarasota and while Joe moans another Monday in Montana, Steve sticks to the sweet stuff: birthdays, Severance, and THE DHARMA INITIATIVE?! That's right, check out the new documentary about LOST here: http://gettinglostdoc.com ! Also Owen's there.

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Owen

With Bereta and Morgan both out this week, Zaragoza regales you (assuming you've already been sufficiently galed) with a fed-up diatribe of first-world-problem proportions. That's right, we're talking about adult stuff on this episode, like how cell phones are inherently fraudulent, all while multitasking with some Jackbox. It's the kind of content only the best can pull off, which is why we're CONFIDENT it'll work next time!

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AT&T... more like JERKBOX, am I right?

Check out DJ's new project and help bring it to life by clicking here: http://dangerboicomic.com ! In addition hearing about DANGER BOi, this episode also features the dangerous little man himself, DJ Wooldridge! And hey... quick question... do you guys remember that dude who got bonkers high and walked around It's a Small World at Disneyland completely n*ked? Well HUSH UP ABOUT IT!

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We're gonna start his kick so hard, y'all... so hard!

Joe returns just in time for Elliott to flaunt his new dog and his fat stacks that he got from selling... a "stove." We'll say stove. Are you tired of biopics? Have you ever laughed in public at no-no words? Do you think Brock is the cutest little brick this side of the Mississippi? All this and more on the Valleycast!

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Brockolli.

Left to their own devices once again, Elliott and Steve DIVE into the world of aquariums, upcoming films from long-dead (practically jurassic) franchises, and whether evolutionary panentheism offers a glimpse into the inherent meaning of life. It's your typical Valleycast, by which we mean... life-changing. Ever been to an aquarium?

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We adopted Brock.

In this episode, Elliott and Steve vent about the current state of YouTube content - without accidentally namedropping the channels even once! Now, I have since seen some of the channels we vent about, and wowza, suffice it to say... Steve was right. Steve's always been right....

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Brock may or may not have found his forever home... in my home...

In this episode, Elliott introduces Joe and Steve to his new foster pet, Brock, who is a 10-month-old labradoodle from https://www.californiadoodlerescue.org/ and you can contact them if you'd like to make Brock, who's the sweetest little shyboy ever, your perma-pet. Anyway, we also talk about TV shows and movies I think? I don't know, I gotta go check on Brock...

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It's important to not form strong bonds with a foster pet. Or so I've heard.