SEX COMMUNICATION

Some audio porn of mutual masturbation in honor of May being Masturbation Month wheeeee! Here’s a recording done after the masturbation event I hosted in April; the other participant is one of the two gentleman who attended in person. I’ve decided to refer to this guy as #57 even though we have not had penetrative sex… yet? Who knows! Anyway, during the party I only touched him with my toes so we kind of made up for what was not done then by touching each other during this session. What kind of touching??? Well for starters, he took hold of my dildo at one point and moved it in and out of me which was very nice, there was some clit manipulation, some kissing, some butt stuff and some titty fucking. And that was just round 1! We both went for 2 and also you get to hear my Sexxxy Jams playlist is on softly in the background. Enjoy!

Sadly no masturbation this week other than some foreplay stuff during partner sex on Wednesday. Let’s hear it for penetration! Anyway, so yes I got laid this week and that was a plus, but also complicated. Oh yeah, and after all the prep and planning, I had to cancel the masturbation party for Saturday night.

I’m on a new birth control which has fucked with my cycle and so I’ve been bleeding for well over a week which has curtailed my self-love inclinations considerably. A lot of it is practical concerns; I don’t want to get blood all over my sheets. I mostly beat off at night, which means after I cum, I’ve got to have my shit together enough to put some period panties back on which means no post-orgasmic drift into sleepytime for me. Also, as much as sex and masturbation are said to lessen cramps and other fun menstruation effects, I have less to no interest in getting off when my belly is burning with deep cramps.

But getting back to the mid-week sex; #54 was back, successfully cleared for service. I didn’t get off during the first round, but managed to in between the first and the second when I straddled his body and still-recovering cock and buried his face in my tits. Much hand and mouth stimulation later, I came quietly but still craving some deep internal orgasms. That happened later on the second go, his big and long dick doing it’s job from behind and below after I kicked things off with some Magic Wand action.

I mentioned the sex was complicated, and that’s really because I have two sets of competing feelings when messing around with #54. I’m extremely attracted to him, physically, chemically, but aside from that, I swing between compassion and nothing. There’s tangible sadness within this man and it’s a tricky thing to interact with when trying to get busy. He isn’t exactly emotionally available, so discussions about life and thoughts and feelings and circumstances turn dark and eventually flat because there will never really any resolution with him. It’s like having this beautiful gift in front of me that disintegrates when I touch it.

That’s all for now, Happy Mother’s Day

Links!
More about #54…
The “stealthing” incident: I HATE THIS: “Stealthing,” A Review
Episodes featuring him: Episode 9 / Episode 17

An interview with MasterNeef

First up, the difference between tone of profile versus tone of personality which leads to a reading of his FetLife profile which is delightfully specific. Next we dive into his experience having slaves and how his kink developed. Discussion about the challenges of exploring the slave kink in public — race and gender make it a dangerous game. Then we talk about specific acts he’s engaged in as his kink has evolved. Introduction to the subject came from porn.

We discuss whether or not he is open about this interests with friends and family… and then about what equipment he owns. And then we talk more about race as it relates to his kink, dating and porn in general. Then his firm stance about sex stuff with men, even though he lists his sexual orientation as N/A — confusing??? Then more discussion of his experience being on FetLife. Then some talk about how soon the kink subject comes up when dating someone new and NOT from FetLife and the general struggles that come with the search for relationships and sexual compatibility.

And finally, we discuss any double standards regarding judgment of those willing to participate in fantasies and then a bit about my own interests, which of course leads to a dick size discussion. By the way, since I didn’t refer to dimensions in the interview, my preference is 7” to 8” long, 2” wide.

Before we close, he tells me he feels like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon having had this discussion. :))

Do you want to send a tribute? Use cash app and send to user $NeeFynesse

It was a slooooooowww week folks.

Sunday or Monday I beat off trying to get to sleep, was especially difficult and turned to porn to finish the job [see clips below]. I was already close with the toys so it took very little, hence only two clips and not very exciting clips at that.

Thursday > I had an interview scheduled with one of the male attendees from the party but he didn’t tell me until he arrived that he required some sort of vocal distortion in order to feel comfortable. While that issue and capability gets resolved [we rainchecked for two weeks from now], he started masturbating, which I recorded and also eventually acted in kind.

Friday > I beat off with toys, easy peasy.

Saturday > #54 has been lab-test cleared for sex service [you may remember him from Episode 9 and Episode 17] and upon learning this news, I attempted to quickly cobble together some male/male group sex. It didn’t pan out. Nevertheless, we will be playing together soon.

Porn links!
This girl is cute and I like the POV of the clip

Same girl. Also, reverse psychology saying it’s not a pornographic video? It is more of a screen test but again, the POV worked for me.

Heyyyy! So this episode contains the audio of when I hit a shame boundary! Here’s the first cyber play session with “The Brit” which involved video, and also EXTREME self consciousness on my end… I had to turn on all the lights in my room (blegh overhead lighting) so that I was illuminated enough for him to see me on his end and that shit made me very, very uncomfortable. I didn’t feel sexy at all and it was a big mental push to keep going.

The recording covers a range of his attempts to “break me,” something I asked him to do… while he did not break me he did happen to say one thing that fucked my head up good. What was it? I explain at the very end, probably not what you think. Anyway! Because this recording is so instruction-heavy and “The Brit’s” voice is so effectively dominating, I encourage you to take advantage of the low volume of my responses to play along and pretend he’s telling you to do the things he describes and demands — why not??

When this play session ended, my immediate thought was that I would never be able to publish this particular exchange. Within 24 hours I managed to get over that idea and commit to sharing it and maintaining the fearless honesty and vulnerability I believe to be so crucial to this project.

**Many thanks to “Alex” who wrote me and encouraged me to keep taking risks after hearing the recording of the first play exchange, Episode 13.

Other episodes featuring “The Brit:”
Episode 3 (audio of him dominating his wife) / Episode 7 (our first interview)

Two one-on-one sessions!!! 1) Spontaneously on Monday I was texting with one of the party attendees, the self-labeled heteroflexible one, and we made impulsive plans for him to come by in the late afternoon after our texting got a bit hot and heavy. Turns out we were both thinking about the possibility of a MM group sex situation and so we went into some of those details… Once we were in the same room, we went into more details and helped each other get off. 2) The other male party attendee happened to text me that same Monday with the proposal that we also get together for a one-on-one masturbation jam but for the purpose of recording so I could use it in the podcast, that happened Thursday. Again, we helped each other get off but no sex was had. This time, less about describing an alternate fantasy but touching each other in ways that both got us off as well as the other person.

Then I ran into #54 in real life and that sent my lady parts into a tizzy. Also this happened after I had been texting him, laying the groundwork for his participation in a MMF threesome with one of the party attendees, as he is also somewhat heteroflexible. [Previous episodes with #54: Episode 9 / Episode 17]

Anyway, with all this real life stimulation, there wasn’t much need for porn but of course I watched it anyway. It was a pretty consistent and heavy week for masturbation overall.

Porn links!
Meh, girl-on-girl bondage nipple torture

Nipple torture bondage thing

Amateur nipple licking that was pretty good but underwhelming

Rope bondage fucking, also underwhelming

Last resort breast massage

Our first milestone episode!!! My interview with my 52nd partner and former partner who is the inspiration for this entire project….

Why exactly? The extreme loudness and explicit vocality of our sex right from the start…

We would vocally role play gangbangs, he clarifies that this subject is a fantasy and not something he wants to pursue in reality…

We discuss social standing and how it relates to one’s inclination towards being dom or sub in bed, his previous sexual experiences with men, his feelings on being submissive with women, how he is very opposed to having his own butt involved in play, more about male experiences and then how his sexual experiences began in childhood…

Next we discuss intimacy — is intimacy necessary? is it what makes sex good? how do fantasies and sexual compatibility and healthy relationships all relate?

Is a physical ideal an automatic guarantee of sexual compatibilty?

Intimacy, sex addiction, more about fantasies…

More about our sex and relationship and why he declined the opportunity to make a recording…

Back to our sex; the endurance! the dirty talk!

Show notes:

Thoughts of the masturbation party provided spank bank material for most of the week

Which led to specific fantasies involving the two guys who had been in attendance…

Which led to other group sex fantasies…

Which led to searching for MMF and group sex porn… see some links below

Reflections on the origin of my group sex fantasies, did the movie Summer of Sam start it all? [see Plato’s Retreat orgy scene]

The porn didn’t do much for me at all; with the bisexual MMF threesomes the guys always seemed more into each other and it was hard for me to “be there”

Porn links! Creepy but arousing MMMF foursome / Unarousing bisexual MMFF foursome with a fucking machine / This unarousing but seemingly popular POV of a guy fucking a guy fucking a girl / Bisexual orgy, last one before I gave up / Went to a saved favorite in the end, typical boob stuff

Show notes:

A conversation with Jo about what it’s like being the victim of “stealthing.” And for those of you who don’t know what stealthing is:

According to Wikipedia: “…the practice of one sex partner covertly removing a condom, when consent has only been given by the other sex partner for condom-protected safer sex.”

We discuss having both recently been victims of stealthing

Jo describes the circumstances of the event, how things were with the guy before… and then details of the incident

She considers how her upbringing may have influenced her reaction

“Fight, flight or freeze”

Talking through the aftermath

Men who want families, the women who don’t

Is societal shaping of men a cause of such behavior?

The confrontation with her stealther

My experience with this type of assault

On being women who love sex, feminism, and carrying on after these events

What is the lesson here? Is there a lesson?

The piece I wrote about my own experience with this type of assault: I HATE THIS: “Stealthing, A Review”

Show notes:

The morning after I finally slept with the (Dom) guy I had been dating — when the devices finally came out: suction cups, nipple clamps with bells, handcuffs, ankle cuffs with chain, blindfold

The days after…

The masturbation party — not my idea but something I was not opposed to exploring because I really enjoy watching men jerk off and I like to masturbate so…

The preparation, the anxiety, the scrambling to manage/maintain guest list

The arrivals, the start, the during, the finish (I used my Sexxxy Jams playlist on Spotify which was an excellent call on my part)

I was still so turned on I beat off another four times

Porn links!

These were terrible, useless and I rejected them: useless clip 1 / useless clip 2 / useless clip 3

This was better but too short

This was ok but they’re touching her too fast and the slurpy kissing sounds were so awful I shut it off