SEX COMMUNICATION

An interview with Alex about her sexual journey; starting with early sexual assault and trauma, the work she’s done to manage her experiences, and the current state of her sex life…

Some specific topics covered:

Early experimentation

Trauma, molestation

Thoughts on sex work, legislation, agency, sex trafficking, lady boys

Personal gender identification; the masculine and feminine energy in herself and partners

Dealing with sex trauma in relationships

Communication as it relates to trying new things that might make her appear weak, i.e., submissive stuff. What makes her equate submissive with weak and disrespect? The result of her past trauma? Her persona of being “tough”

The potential for sex to be healing in this current relationship

Specifics about the trauma; how long it took to see the experience as trauma

Therapy; EMDR

Backing up, some reflections on her first orgasm / first proactive sexual interest / early masturbation

Masturbating and orgasming now

A bit about anal sex - she loves it! The result of her first time being with someone experienced and knew not to just stick it in; the anal sex she has now

Well I missed the orgy for this month; my roommate needed my assistance and so I spent the evening helping him instead… But! I did masturbate everyday — aside from one night of porn watching, I fantasized about specific scenarios at future orgies [details in the recording].

Saturday night an ex did pop up out of nowhere but I did not meet up with him which is probably for the best…

Besides those things, two different men asked for my assistance, one was looking for counsel and wisdom regarding sexual performance struggles and the other looking for me to humiliate them for money. These events brought up considerations of pursuing more official paid sex work, either sex therapy or domination, both of which would involve my first pursuing training. Future goals? Maybe!

Til next week

Porn links:
Some fun [and well-positioned!] guy giving oral
Some bus groping, fast forward to the decent parts and excuse the clumsy and unsexy methods of touching the men employ [it’s about the scenario not the specifics]

It’s audio porn time! We’re closing out the month with a recording recently submitted by a female listener of her getting down with her younger male lover…

Paraphrased description from the female participant/submitter of the audio:

- Making out
- Dick sucking
- More making out
- Pussy eating 
- 10 full minutes of her orgasms & squirting 
- Fucking
- Pulling out 
- More squirting
- More fucking
- His orgasm
- The end
- Happy girl. 😊[and happy boy!]

This week I had partner sex! Except… meh.

Sleeping with a real life human being was certainly a high point as far as interesting events of the week, but the best orgasms of the last seven days were at my own hand thankyouverymuch. Still loving my Fun Factory Tiger vibe when it’s TURNED ON. If you have no idea what I’m talking about you should really listen to more of these How I Got Off episodes!

Porn links from the week:

It began with nipple porn

Then led to this absurd gym-set bound gangbang

Then to more aggressive bound-fondling videos like this

And this

And this

What is it really like to open up a relationship? What does having kids do to your body, sex life, priorities, and marriage? How does sexuality evolve over a lifetime?

Today’s interview with Jamie, a mother of three and wife in a 22-year marriage, opens up about the good and bad realities of all these experiences and choices. We discuss:

-The notion of promiscuity changing from childhood to adulthood

-Biology and experience as influences on sexuality and sex drive

-Post-partum. The effects of having children; the difference in experience for a new mom versus new dad, the relationship dynamic changes, the biological changes

-Sexual compatibility as a matter of shared sexual values, not just sex drive

-Getting older and becoming more adventurous not more boring

-The process of opening a marriage, and the evolution of exploration

-Fantasies, outside communications, research, discussion, experimentation

-The aftermath of opening a marriage

-Life now; reflections on the marriage, motherhood and sexual curiosity

It was slow going this week as I recovered from the emotions of the last [QUICKIE] episode, but! I managed to pull it together enough to beat off twice yesterday so yay me!

The origin of today’s interview is this specific critique from a listener:

“Hello I’ve recently been listening to your podcast and I like it - I’m very sex positive, I’m a sensual man. Like you, I seek higher and better orgasms although I have been kink shamed in past relationships and turned down for having a high sex drive but I’m dealing with that - here is my issue, your podcast says it is sex positive and non shaming yet I’ve heard you speak in a negative way of men not having a big dick isn’t that shaming? Isn’t everyone positive in their own way? No one is perfect, u call urself a size queen ok but all the positive podcasts I hear tell me size doesn’t mater - if anything this is why guys send unsolicited dick pics cause either it does or it doesn’t.”

I shared my response to this in Episode 63: Listener Questions And Comments, but I also offered this listener the opportunity to hash this topic out in a specific episode, hence “The Great Tiny Penis Debate.”

***

Here’s the article referenced in our discussion: “Must Have Thick Skin And Big Dick”…

and here’s another about the penises which have let me down: “The Most Disappointing Dicks I’ve Ever Encountered” [btw this list includes several big cocks!]

Mammograms and a sex conference! So much fun!

I’m lying, the mammograms were awful. But the conference was wonderful!

Hear all about both in this week’s episode.

This one is all about you! At least it is if you wrote me or commented on something or otherwise engaged…

Here are the categories and questions/comments I cover in the episode:

GENERAL

Have you ever played one of those sex simulation games?

Could i be nude bound and displayed while you interview me?

I feel as though there is a very negative stigma around pegging and that alot of guys dont feel comfortable trying it as a result (at least in my experiences) , but do you find/think that alot of guys actually do try and enjoy it?

Your podcasts are just awesome - will we see any video footage?

TOPICS

Deep throating

Choking

Forced sex or rape fantasies

Age-gap scenarios

Sex in illicit relationships

PORN

What are your thoughts on sex trafficking and porn?

Do you want to be restrained like in the porn clips you watch?

[from multiple sources] What do you think of this porn clip

PREFERENCES

Would you be interested in a guy who has a big dick but also chubby?

You should interview a little person about their sexual experiences. Would you have sex with a little person?

Hello I’ve recently been listening to your podcast and I like it - I’m very sex positive, I’m a sensual man. Like you, I seek higher and better orgasms although I have been kink shamed in past relationships and turned down for having s high sex drive but I’m dealing with that - here is my issue, your podcast says it is sex positive and non shaming yet I’ve heard you speak in a negative way of men not having a big dick isn’t that shaming? Isn’t everyone positive in their own way ? No one is perfect, u call urself a size queen ok but all the positive podcasts I hear tell me size doesn’t mater - if anything this is why guys send unsolicited dick pics cause either it does or it doesn’t.

It really makes me sad that you are so negative about breast implants and augmentations. Women and men get implants for a variety of reasons- some medical, some aesthetic.

Preference is politics. Almost always. It's very hard to find a preference that doesn't have a political reality lurking underneath it. Thoughts?

Lots of toy play and porn this week, but no partner stuff…

Thankfully I’ll be spending the weekend at a sex conference hosted by the hotel where I’m booked so I have faith next week will be a different story!

Porn [all bondage-nipple porn] links:
Bondage-nipple tickling, not terrible
Decent all around but the lighting is awful and it’s way too slow
Absurd “bondagette” 1, redhead
Absurd “bondagette” 2a, blond
Absurd “bondagette” 2b, same blond
Absurd “bondagette” 3, brunette
This one looks great but it’s too short!
Another super-appealing clip but super-short