For this episode we were thrilled to be joined by Melody Thomas, the creator and host of The Good Sex Project – a podcast about good sex, good relationships and how to have them.  

Together, Melody and Toshi spoke about what she’s learned from her two seasons creating this podcast, how the work has impacted Melody’s own sex life, what she wishes she knew earlier about sex and relationships, and some of the most memorable moments from the conversations she’s had.  

Check out The Good Sex Project here: https://interactives.stuff.co.nz/the-good-sex-project-podcast/ 

Timestamps  

00:00 – Intro  

00:40 – What is The Good Sex Project all about?  

02:09 – How people have responded to The Good Sex Project 

03:51 – Melody’s biggest learnings about sex and relationships 

07:39 – Advice to feel more comfortable talking about sex 

10:05 – Taboos that still need to be broken down 

12:59 – Sex advice Melody would give to her younger self  

14:31 – How you can prioritise your own pleasure 

17:00 – Communication tips 

18:47 – Identifying unhealthy relationships 

20:20 – Why asking questions is so important 

21:55 – The expectations we take from porn 

22:57 – How Melody’s sexual experiences have changed over time 

24:17 – How sex-negative thinking can impact our physical experiences 

26:33 – Where listeners can tune into The Good Sex Project 

27:06 – Conclusion 

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Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy. 

Follow us here: 

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For more info, check out our website at: 

https://www.sexinspace.com/ 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On the latest episode of the Sex in Space podcast, Toshi had the opportunity to speak with Anil Padavatan, the Health Programs Lead at GATE, (Global Action for Trans Equality), about trans healthcare. Together, they had a conversation about what trans healthcare is, why and how all kinds of people – not just those who are transgender – access services like puberty blockers and hormone replacement therapy, they debunked some common myths and misinformation surrounding this topic, and looked at the different ways that families can exist in the world. 

Timestamps:  

00:00 – Intro  

00:39 – What is GATE?  

01:13 – What does it mean to be transgender?  

02:42 – What is trans healthcare?  

03:38 – What is gender affirming care?  

04:48 – Some examples of gender affirming care 

05:18 – Some reasons a person might access gender affirming care  

06:09 – Cisgender people also access gender affirming care 

08:13 – How do puberty blockers work?  

09:37 – Are puberty blockers reversible?  

10:41 – When can people use puberty blockers?  

13:13 – Risks and benefits of puberty blockers 

16:41 – The reality of medical interventions for young people   

18:45 – What is hormone replacement therapy and who uses it?  

21:34 – Being transgender and fertility  

26:23 – What is gender affirming surgery? 

27:50 – Who is able to access gender affirming surgery?  

30:05 – The facts around gender affirming surgery and regret  

34:25 – Different kinds of families  

37:42 – Conclusion 

Resources:  

World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) Standards of Care 8: 

https://www.wpath.org/soc8 

Guidelines for gender affirming healthcare for gender diverse and transgender children, young people and adults in Aotearoa, New Zealand: 

https://patha.nz/Guidelines 

Southern African HIV Clinicians Society Gender Affirming Healthcare Guidelines: https://www.sahivsoc.org/Subheader/Index/sahcs-guidelines 

Cornell University Public Policy Research Portal, What does the scholarly research say about the effect of gender transition on transgender well-being?: 

https://whatweknow.inequality.cornell.edu/topics/lgbt-equality/what-does-the-scholarly-research-say-about-the-well-being-of-transgender-people/ 

GATE Knowledge Portal: 

https://gate.ngo/knowledge-portal/ 

Reaffirming Autonomy of Trans and Gender Diverse Children and Adolescents: 

https://gate.ngo/knowledge-portal/publication/reaffirming-autonomy-of-trans-and-gender-diverse-children-and-adolescents/ 

Trans and Intersex Rising Zimbabwe: 

https://trinrizim.weebly.com/

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On this week's episode of the podcast, we were thrilled to be joined by Dr Paula Hall, a sexual and relationship psychotherapist who specialises in helping people affected by sex addiction and porn addiction. Dr Hall has been working as a therapist for 30 years and currently runs the biggest clinic in the UK, and the biggest therapy training programme for compulsive sexual behaviours.  

Together, Dr Hall and Toshi spoke about identifying problematic porn use, advice for anyone who thinks that their porn consumption might be an issue, the impact that compulsive porn use has on partners and how they can access support of their own, why being anti-porn is not the solution and why compulsive porn use is the symptom of a bigger issue.  

Dr Hall is the author of several books including Understanding & Treating Sex and Pornography Addiction, Sex Addiction: The Partner’s Perspective, Confronting Porn, and Sex Addiction: A Guide for Couples. Dr Hall has also peer reviewed a number of papers.  

Watch her TED Talk on sex addiction here: https://youtu.be/-Qf2e3XZ8Tw?si=8VpOEgOynjCgDxjU 

Learn more about the Laurel Centre: https://thelaurelcentre.co.uk/ 

Find more info about Pivotal Recovery here: https://www.pivotalrecovery.org/ 

Check out our book, 'How to talk with your kids about porn: https://www.sexinspace.com/book-2

Timestamps:  

00:00 – Intro  

00:40 – Dr Hall’s background + work  

03:41 – Porn addiction vs compulsive porn use 

06:02 – When is someone’s porn use problematic?  

08:31 – Advice if you think your porn use might be an issue 

10:33 – How shame gets in the way of people seeking help 

12:45 – Why you need to work out what healthy sexuality means for you  

14:36 – The impact of compulsive porn use on partners 

16:55 – Support for partners of someone with compulsive porn use  

18:43 – Dr Hall’s message for parents  

24:06 – Why being anti-porn is not a solution 

27:44 – The issue with trying to block pornography 

29:28 – How moral debates can get in the way of helping people 

33:18 – Compulsive porn use is the symptom of a bigger issue 

35:52 – How the brain changes when a behaviour shifts from being recreational to compulsive  

38:22 – One thing Dr. Hall wants you to take away from this podcast 

39:31 – About Pivotal Recovery 

40:43 - Conclusion 

Software mentioned by Dr Hall -

Canopy: https://canopy.us/

Qustodio: https://www.qustodio.com/en/

Covenant Eyes: https://www.covenanteyes.com/

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Follow us here: 

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For more info, check out our website at: 

https://www.sexinspace.com/ 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Tim was joined by Catherine Carr for this episode – Catherine is producer of the acclaimed BBC Radio 4 series 'About The Boys.' This insightful five-part series takes a deep dive into the lives of teenage boys in the UK, exploring their challenges, fears, and hopes in a world that's rapidly changing. The show has been praised for its honest and raw portrayal of boys' experiences, offering a platform for their voices to be heard. Catherine, who is also a mother of boys, brings a unique and empathetic perspective to the series, making it a must-listen for anyone interested in the lives of young men today. 

Listen to ‘About the Boys’ here: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001yshm/episodes/player 

Freddie Feltham, mentioned in the podcast: https://www.theguardian.com/news/2024/jan/06/im-andrew-tates-audience-and-i-know-why-he-appeals-to-young-men 

Timestamps:  

00:00 – Intro  

01:26 – Catherine’s background  

03:26 – What ‘About the Boys’ is all about 

06:14 – The two stories that kicked off the project 

11:37 – How Catherine put the series together 

12:47 – Societal perceptions of young boys 

16:29 – Letting the boys tell their story 

18:30 – The impact of social media on boys 

21:03 – Problematic male influencers 

24:51 – The gaps in education for young people 

29:00 – Where young people are learning from  

31:45 – Tips for talking with kids about sexuality and relationships 

33:17 – The spaces boys inhabit: real and online 

37:41 – The importance of honest conversations 

40:41 – Ending on a note of optimism 

41:27 – Will there be an ‘About the Girls’?  

43:10 – Conclusion  

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Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy. 

Follow us here: 

https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom 

https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom 

https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom 

https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace

For more info, check out our website at: 

https://www.sexinspace.com/ 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Toshi spoke with Verity Johnson, also known as Miss Vee, who MC’s for Men of Steel, New Zealand’s only male strip club. Toshi and Verity had a conversation about what audience members can expect from a night at Men of Steel, Verity’s advice for anyone thinking of going but who might be a little nervous, as well as what she’s learned about female sexuality in New Zealand from working at Men of Steel – including the differences between different generations of women and their attitudes towards sexuality, and tips for becoming less apologetic about your sexuality and desires as a female.  

Check out Men of Steel here: https://www.menofsteel.co.nz/ 

Find them on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clubmenofsteel/?hl=en 

Timestamps:  

00:00 – Intro  

00:40 – What is Men of Steel?  

02:35 – How people respond to the experience 

03:48 – What does a typical night look like at Men of Steel?  

06:55 – Who goes to this male strip club?  

09:25 – Female sexuality in New Zealand 

13:07 – What to know if you feel nervous about going to Men of Steel 

15:00 – What Miss Vee wishes people knew about Men of Steel 

16:58 – Views around male stripping over the past 25 years 

18:54 – Different generational attitudes towards sex 

22:16 – Advice on embracing your sexuality  

23:54 – Listen to this if you’re thinking about coming to Men of Steel 

24:28 – Ticket info  

24:42 – Conclusion  

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Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy. 

Follow us here: 

https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom 

https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom 

https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom 

https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace

For more info, check out our website at: 

https://www.sexinspace.com/ 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For this episode, Toshi was joined by Kate Barnhart from New Alternatives NYC, a multi-service drop-in centre for LGBT homeless youth and young adults in New York City. They provide a range of services, everything from food, court advocacy, school supplies and supportive counselling. Together, Kate and Toshi spoke about the work that New Alternatives does, and why it’s so important.  

Find New Alternatives NYC here: https://www.newalternativesnyc.org/ 

Timestamps:  

00:00 – Intro 

00:30 – Why LGBTQ+ youth are more at risk of being homeless  

01:56 – What services does New Alternatives NYC offer?  

03:31 – Meeting mental health needs 

05:28 – How LGBTQ+ youth respond to the services offered by New Alternatives 

06:04 – Memorable moments working at New Alternatives 

08:43 – Who volunteers at New Alternatives 

10:12 – Why Kate founded New Alternatives 

11:42 – What Kate’s learned from working here 

12:42 – Why this job is like solving a puzzle  

13:24 – How listeners can support New Alternatives NYC  

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Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy. 

Follow us here: 

https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom 

https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom 

https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom 

https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace

For more info, check out our website at: 

https://www.sexinspace.com/ 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sex in Space is a weekly podcast where we have open-minded conversations, delving into sex across all its infinite dimensions. Stories and voices from all genders, ages, relationships, life stages, ethnicities, walks of life, professions and ways of being in the universe.

Available everywhere extraordinary podcasts are found. Subscribe to make sure you never miss an episode!

Check out the full podcast episodes mentioned in the trailer:

Dr Laurie Mintz / Satisfying sex lives: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/26-laurie-mintz-satisfying-sex-lives/id1554815508?i=1000622992065

Vanessa Hamilton / Sex ed for parents: top tips for tricky talks: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/38-vanessa-hamilton-sex-ed-for-parents-top-tips-for/id1554815508?i=1000633155903

Dr Jane Cherrington / How to talk with your kids about porn: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/43-dr-jane-cherrington-how-to-talk-with-your-kids-about-porn/id1554815508?i=1000641628876

Morgana O'Reilly / Let's talk bodies: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/30-morgana-oreilly-lets-talk-bodies/id1554815508?i=1000626751039

Michelle Hardenbrook / Owning the OnlyFans side-hustle: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/23-michelle-hardenbrook-owning-the-onlyfans-side-hustle/id1554815508?i=1000613465077

Shaneel Lal / Banning conversion therapy in NZ: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/37-shaneel-lal-banning-conversion-therapy-in-nz/id1554815508?i=1000632494766

Alex Layendecker / Sex in space: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/69-dr-alex-layendecker-sex-in-space/id1554815508?i=1000663034331

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Toshi was joined by the wonderful Susan Bratton for today’s episode. Susan is an intimacy expert to millions, who is known as an ‘orgasmanaut’ and is an advocate for all those who desire intimacy and passion their whole life long. She's created a whole bunch of techniques that transform “having sex” into making love, and is the bestselling author and publisher of an incredible 44 books. 

In this episode, Toshi and Susan spoke about why sex is a lifelong skill, the different kinds of orgasms the human body can experience, why bedroom communication skills are so important and how to get better at them, Susan’s top tips for having a great sex life, how to figure out your relationship values, and how to use erotic playdates to add variety to your sex life. 

Find more of Susan here: https://susanbratton.com/ 

Find her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susanbratton 

Timestamps:  

00:00 – Intro  

01:20 – Susan the ‘orgasmanaut’ 

02:08 – What is an extended orgasm?  

04:15 – What is an expanded orgasm?  

06:07 – Susan’s experience with orgasms  

07:43 – Susan's sex advice for younger people  

11:00 – Matriarchal perspectives on sex   

12:00 – Understanding pleasure and the female body 

12:53 – The three ‘prongs’ to great sex  

14:30 – The important thing to do to have a great sex life 

16:21 – The sexual soulmate pact  

21:03 – Working out what you want in bed  

22:55 – How to communicate what you want with a partner 

26:45 – Sharing favourite frames after you make love  

28:51 – Figuring out your relationship values  

32:55 – Using erotic playdates to add variety to your sex life  

36:01 – Summary and conclusion 

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Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy. 

Follow us here: 

https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom 

https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom 

https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom 

https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace

For more info, check out our website at: 

https://www.sexinspace.com/ 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tim had the opportunity to talk with William Moore, founder of the AdvancedYOU clinic, and developer of PhalloFILL Male Girth Enhancement. They spoke about all things penis girth enhancement, from the reasons people seek this help and treatment, to the processes of the procedure, the effects and benefits, the impacts of pornography on male body image, and the future of biohacking your health.  

Learn more about PhalloFILL: https://phallofill.com/ 

Find more about William here: https://advanced-you.com/ 

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Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy. 

Follow us here: 

https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom 

https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom 

https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom 

https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace

For more info, check out our website at: 

https://www.sexinspace.com/ 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On today’s episode of the podcast, Toshi had the opportunity to talk with Verity Johnson, also known as Miss Vee. Verity is a newspaper columnist, MC at Men of Steel, New Zealand’s only male strip club, and the owner of Club Burlesque – New Zealand’s first burlesque club.  

Together they spoke about:  

• What burlesque is and what it celebrates 
• Why Verity started Club Burlesque 
• What you can expect if you go to a show 
• The kind of audiences you’ll find at Club Burlesque 
• How burlesque encourages audiences to reconsider societal attitudes towards sex  
• What it teaches us about desire 
• The relationship between burlesque, freedom and sexuality  
• And what you might get out of an experience at a burlesque show. 

Club Burlesque’s 2024 season runs from July 26 – September 13 in Auckland, New Zealand. 

Check out Club Burlesque (and find tickets) here: https://theclubburlesque.com/ 

Find Club Burlesque on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clubburlesquenz/?hl=en 

Timestamps:  

00:00 – Intro  

00:33 – What is burlesque?  

02:54 – Understanding eros 

03:25 – Why Verity started Club Burlesque 

04:44 – What you can expect from a night at Club Burlesque  

06:31 – Misconceptions about burlesque  

07:44 – Redefining how we think about society’s attitudes towards sex  

09:05 – What burlesque teaches you about desire 

11:38 – On not being afraid of your sexuality 

14:10 – Club Burlesque vs Men of Steel  

15:04 – Seeing Auckland reclaim its sexy side  

17:00 – How can we start to deconstruct shame in society?  

18:42 – Where you can find more information about Club Burlesque 

18:55 – Give yourself permission to enjoy sex and desire  

19:52 – Conclusion  

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