Unhooked: Breaking Porn Addiction Podcast

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co

In this episode of Unhooked, I sit down with Ben Brown, host of The Shift podcast, to talk about his journey from years of compulsive sex, porn, validation-seeking, alcohol, and drugs into a life of recovery, purpose, and transformation.

Ben shares what his life looked like before recovery, including the constant pursuit of women, escalating porn use, partying, and the feeling that he was becoming someone he thought he needed to be.

We talk about the moments that finally made him realize something wasn't right, including a chance encounter with a stranger who told him how sex addiction had destroyed his life, and the experience that finally pushed Ben to walk into a recovery room.

We also get into what actually helped him change: community, mentors, faith, willpower, small daily habits, and finding something meaningful to put his energy into.

And Ben shares one of the biggest lessons from his recovery: you are not exempt. No matter how much shame you carry or how far gone you think you are, you can still change your life.

In this episode, you'll learn:
- Why addiction can become a way of escaping discomfort and seeking validation
- What finally pushed Ben to seek recovery after years of compulsive behavior
- Why willpower can help in the early stages but isn't enough for long-term recovery
- How small daily wins can build momentum and create lasting change
- Why finding a “mountain to climb” can help redirect sexual and creative energy into something meaningful

Recovery doesn't happen all at once. Sometimes it starts with one small decision, one mentor, one meeting, or simply taking the first step.

🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co

Connect with Ben

Ben Brown / The Shift Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-shift-a-podcast-with-ben-brown/id1887649490

Instagram: @benbrown3000 https://www.instagram.com/benbrown3000/

YouTube: The Shift Podcast with Ben Brown https://www.youtube.com/@theshiftpodcastwithbenbrown

Website: The Shift with Ben Brown https://www.theshiftwithbenbrown.com/

🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co

What if stopping porn isn't actually the thing that creates lasting recovery?

In this episode of Unhooked, I’m resharing a conversation I had on Sam’s Healing Podcast about porn addiction, recovery, and what it really takes to build lasting freedom.

We talk about why porn itself is often not the underlying problem, but instead a way of escaping uncomfortable emotions, stress, loneliness, boredom, insecurity, or other difficult experiences. I also explain why simply chasing a streak or practicing sobriety without doing the deeper inner work can leave the underlying issues untouched.

In this episode, you'll learn:

- Why sobriety alone isn't the same as recovery and why the underlying reasons behind the behavior matter
- How porn can become a coping mechanism for stress, loneliness, boredom, insecurity, and other uncomfortable emotions
- Why I describe meditation as strength training for the mind and how it can help build greater awareness and self-control
- How the Reset → Rewire → Rebuild → Restore framework supports lasting transformation
- Why learning to sit with discomfort instead of escaping it is an essential part of creating real freedom

If you're early in recovery and looking for a clear, grounded overview of what this work actually involves, this is a good place to start.

Ready to start your recovery?

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co

Timestamps:

00:00 Why Sobriety Isn’t Recovery

02:59 Welcome to Unhooked

03:37 Introducing Jeremy and Unhooked

04:47 Why I Created Unhooked

06:02 Why Do We Get Hooked on Porn?

09:05 Why Sobriety Alone Isn’t Enough

11:09 Cross-Addictions and Replacing Unhealthy Habits

12:29 Meditation as Strength Training for the Mind

15:23 Different Types of Meditation

17:01 How to Let Go of the Performance Mindset

18:22 Why a Structured Meditation Practice Matters

20:04 The Four Phases of Recovery

21:28 Reset: Getting Clear on Where You’re Going

23:32 Rewire: Using Neuroplasticity for Change

25:04 Rebuild: Changing Your Environment and Habits

26:59 Restore: Building a Life of Fulfillment

28:42 Solitude vs. Isolation

30:14 Why We Run From Unpleasant Experiences

31:56 Learning to Sit With Discomfort

32:56 Why You Have to Take Ownership of Your Recovery

34:21 Can You Really Break Free?

36:27 Where to Learn More About Unhooked

37:21 Sam’s Closing Thoughts

37:56 Final Thoughts

🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co

What does it actually take to heal after infidelity, and why does defensiveness make rebuilding trust so difficult?

In this episode of Unhooked, I sit down with Sam from Sam's Healing Podcast to talk about infidelity, addiction, and what real recovery looks like after betrayal.

Sam shares his own journey after an affair that turned his life upside down. We talk about why radical honesty is the first step toward healing, how defensiveness gets in the way of rebuilding trust, and why taking ownership of your actions matters so much.

We also explore how childhood wounds can shape destructive coping patterns, the role of community and mentorship in recovery, and why healing looks different for every person and relationship.

In this episode, you'll learn:

- Why radical honesty is the first step in recovery
- How defensiveness and blame-shifting get in the way of healing
- The difference between guilt and shame
- Why self-acceptance and accountability go hand in hand
- What recovery looks like for both the unfaithful and betrayed partner
- Why healing takes time and what makes rebuilding trust possible

If you're navigating addiction, infidelity, or the difficult process of rebuilding trust after betrayal, this conversation is for you.

Ready to start your recovery?

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co

Connect with Sam:

Sam's Healing Podcast on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@samshealingpodcast and podcast platforms https://www.samshealingpodcast.com/

Timestamps:

00:00 Sam's story of despair and recovery

01:39 Episode introduction

03:32 Welcome to Unhooked

04:24 Sam's journey into recovery

08:44 Why radical honesty is the first step

12:53 Becoming a student of recovery and finding support

19:48 Understanding childhood wounds and the roots of addiction

24:08 The turning point: Feeling worthy of love

30:04 Self-acceptance and doing the next right thing

35:33 Balancing self-acceptance with personal growth

40:27 Why people become defensive in recovery

41:56 Shame, guilt, and taking responsibility

45:46 What healing looks like for the betrayed partner

49:59 How long does healing after infidelity take?

52:38 Can couples truly heal after infidelity?

55:34 Where to find Sam

56:57 Closing thoughts

🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

Interested in the Unhooked App? Join the waitlist here: 
https://unhookedapp.co/

Jeremy Lipkowitz reshared his appearance on The Therapy Brothers podcast, where Brendan and Tyler Patrick interview him about how meditation and mindfulness can support recovery. Jeremy explains why mindfulness does not have to conflict with religious faith, and why it is better understood as a practical way to train attention, awareness, and intentional choice. He breaks down the space between stimulus and response and how learning to access that space can help interrupt automatic reactions like craving, anger, fear, and judgment. The conversation also explores neuroplasticity and Jeremy’s “meadow” analogy for how repeated thoughts and behaviors strengthen mental pathways over time. They unpack the meaning of equanimity, why groundedness matters when facing both discomfort and temptation, and how even a simple breath-awareness practice can begin strengthening concentration, self-compassion, emotional regulation, and the ability to respond rather than react.

Chapters:

00:00 Why mindfulness matters in recovery

04:10 Welcome to the episode

04:54 Is meditation against religion?

06:40 What mindfulness really is

09:30 The mindset behind mindfulness-based recovery

13:36 How mindfulness helps with urges and reactions

14:14 Neuroplasticity: how the brain changes

17:01 The meadow analogy explained

18:22 What is equanimity?

20:29 How to begin meditating

23:09 Closing thoughts

🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

Interested in the Unhooked App? Join the waitlist here: 
https://unhookedapp.co/

Jeremy Lipkowitz hosts Brannon and Tyler Patrick on Unhooked to discuss why sobriety and recovery are not the same thing. The brothers are licensed clinicians with about forty years of combined experience treating porn addiction and betrayal trauma, and they host The Therapy Brothers podcast. They explain why a heavy emphasis on sobriety is a prelude to relapse, why focusing on inputs beats chasing a streak, and why recovery worked for a spouse always collapses. Tyler breaks down their trust equation for rebuilding trust after betrayal: shame resiliency on both sides plus rigorous honesty, empathy, and consistent action over time. They also cover what real humility is, the hero's journey framework behind their men's program, healthy disclosure versus probation officer check-ins, and what a betrayed partner is really asking underneath the questions about details.

Chapters:

00:00:00 The energy that actually sustains recovery 

00:01:01 The cave you fear to enter 

00:01:50 Episode intro and the Unhooked app waitlist 

00:04:35 Welcome Tyler and Brannon Patrick 

00:05:42 Taking men from untrustworthy to trustworthy 

00:06:55 What twenty years changed about their approach 

00:10:32 How each brother found this work 

00:14:08 Sobriety versus recovery 

00:17:31 The paradox: does that mean relapse is fine? 

00:20:28 Guys who do not know their sobriety date 

00:22:17 When sobriety becomes a weapon 

00:23:38 Trap one: getting humility backwards 

00:24:54 Trap two: recovering for your spouse 

00:28:31 Resentment, and turning your partner into your god 

00:28:57 Why the instinct to perform makes sense 

00:30:39 Corrective experiences and the challenges they run 

00:35:30 The hero's journey 

00:36:25 Tyler's map of energies, from coercion to love 

00:39:05 When a man will not step over the threshold 

00:42:26 The parable of the snake and the apples 

00:44:53 Where rebuilding trust starts: rigorous honesty 

00:46:11 When your partner draws a hard line 

00:48:39 Disclosure, lines of defense, and check ins that work 

00:49:03 The trust equation 

00:51:43 What a betrayed partner is really asking 

00:52:58 What actually needs to be disclosed 

00:56:35 Harnessing sexuality instead of killing it 

00:58:30 What they want couples to hear 

01:03:03 Where to find Tyler and Brannon 

01:03:45 Closing

The Therapy Brothers, for Unhooked listeners: therapybrothers.org/unhooked 

Unhooked Academy: unhookedacademy.com 

Unhooked app waitlist: unhookedapp.co

🔹 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now:
https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

Jeremy Lipkowitz hosts Alessandro on Unhooked to discuss his mission of helping men become husbands, fathers, and human beings they admire, inspired by what he lacked in role models and his marriage. Alessandro explains Dr. Arne Rubenstein’s boy-to-man framework, contrasting boy traits like self-centered power, emotional reactivity, blame, and wanting a “mother” with mature ideals such as service to the team, emotional humility, integrity and ownership, and equanimity in relating to the feminine. They explore how Western culture lacks rites of passage, and Alessandro outlines four initiation components: shared stories, challenge, honoring, and vision for the future. The conversation also covers why men avoid ownership, how men’s circles help disclose porn struggles, distinguishing ownership from shame, stream-of-consciousness journaling, and why being a better husband often means reconnecting with oneself while nourishing the household.

00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro

00:32 Mission Beyond Alpha

03:21 Conscious Masculinity Basics

04:22 Boy to Man Framework

10:54 Applying Traits to Marriage

14:11 Understanding the Feminine

17:19 What Initiation Means

19:41 Rites of Passage Four Parts

27:12 Why Ownership Is Hard

30:34 Handyman Trigger Origins

31:54 Owning Your Feelings

32:36 Recovery Check Ins

35:23 Beyond Performative Apologies

36:24 Resistance And Hard Talks

39:16 Mens Circle Confession

41:37 Ownership Versus Shame

42:22 Shoveling The Shit

48:53 Morning Pages Practice

51:29 Stop Appeasing Your Wife

54:51 Mission Nourish Household

58:34 Lightness Without Excuses

01:01:14 Walking Forward Balance

01:04:29 Final Takeaways And Outro

Connect with Alessandro on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alessandro_frosali

🔹 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now:
https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

In this episode, Jeremy Lipkowitz—former genetics researcher, ordained Buddhist monk, mindfulness teacher, executive coach, and founder of Unhooked Academy—shares his personal journey from early exposure to pornography through daily use in college and into recovery. He discusses how porn’s accessibility, affordability, and anonymity fuel addiction, while underlying drivers often include boredom, loneliness, disconnection, and emotional avoidance. The conversation explores how novelty and endless scrolling train dissatisfaction, how porn can reshape intimacy and create secrecy and shame, and why sobriety alone isn’t the same as recovery—unaddressed roots can lead to cross-addictions. Jeremy highlights the role of community, mindfulness, self-compassion, and present-moment awareness to create choice between stimulus and response, and warns that AI-generated porn and AI companions are already accelerating these risks. He also points to porn’s exploitative underbelly and invites listeners to assess whether harms outweigh perceived benefits.

00:00 Meet Jeremy Lipkowitz

00:26 His Recovery Journey

01:27 Triggers and Three As

03:17 When It Became a Problem

07:01 Sobriety Versus Recovery

08:14 Compulsion or Addiction

10:02 Why Porn Hooks You

13:48 Roots of Addiction

17:10 Connection and Environment

18:41 Men Versus Women

20:23 Slow Burn Consequences

23:06 Signs You Have a Problem

25:28 Porn Warps Intimacy

27:47 Shame and Taboo

28:13 Courage to Reach Out

28:45 Wedding Trigger Story

30:53 Self Deception Narratives

32:33 Powerless vs Powerful

34:56 Beliefs Shape Outcomes

36:13 Stress Anxiety Reframe

37:37 AI Porn Future Risks

40:49 Recovery Community Work

43:31 Presence and Choice Space

46:07 Equanimity with Discomfort

48:30 Porn Industry Reality Check

51:18 OnlyFans Dopamine Escalation

53:39 Cost Benefit Clarity

54:45 Where to Find Jeremy

55:36 Final Wrap Up

Connect with Darren Magee here:

https://www.youtube.com/c/DarrenFMagee

🔹 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now:
https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

Jeremy Lipkowitz joins Piers Cross on An Evolving Man to discuss how porn addiction is driven and worsened by craving, shame, and avoidance of unpleasant emotions like boredom, loneliness, anxiety, and lack of purpose. Jeremy shares his own history of early porn exposure, how Buddhism and Matthieu Ricard’s book Happiness helped him understand neuroplasticity (“neurons that fire together, wire together”) and craving as suffering, and why recovery requires more than willpower. They explore why modern porn is uniquely addictive through affordability, accessibility, anonymity, and infinite novelty, and why taking distance from porn reveals impacts on clarity, confidence, and integrity. The conversation emphasizes mindfulness as awareness across the “six sense doors,” community and men’s groups to dissolve isolation and shame, skillful moral shame/dread (hiri and ottappa), and how the attention economy and tech design mimic slot machines to capture attention.

00:00 Shame And Escape

01:18 Rebroadcast And Themes

02:40 Meet Jeremy Lipkowitz

03:54 Porn Habit Origins

06:41 Buddhism Changes Everything

08:46 Neuroplasticity And Craving

12:29 Beyond Meditation Recovery

14:17 Porn Culture And Taboo

16:57 Smartphone Porn Explosion

21:04 Why Porn Hooks Us

24:50 Reclaiming Healthy Sexuality

26:49 Triggers And Emotional Avoidance

29:33 Feeling Emotions In The Body

31:56 Slow Down The Urge

32:59 Mindful Smoking Insight

33:48 Mindfulness In Recovery

35:21 Shame And Community

39:40 Porn Shame Stigma

42:39 Healthy Moral Shame

47:42 Four Truths Reflection

49:31 Attention Economy Trap

55:24 Reclaiming Your Attention

57:31 What Mindfulness Means

59:28 Six Sense Doors Practice

01:01:22 Closing And Resources

🔹 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now:
https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

This rebroadcast from Jonah Primo’s The Overexamined Life features Jeremy Lipkowitz (former Buddhist monk, meditation teacher, executive coach, and host of the Unhooked podcast) discussing pornography as a lens for addiction, shame, and compulsive behavior. They cover how widespread porn use is among men and increasingly women, early exposure in childhood, and how porn’s normalization alongside taboo can fuel addiction. Lipkowitz argues porn is often used for emotional regulation (boredom, loneliness, anxiety), can distort expectations of intimacy, train novelty-seeking dopamine patterns, and contribute to a shame-driven double life. They address ethical concerns about performer exploitation, whether moderate use is defensible, the distinction between porn and masturbation, and rising risks from AI-generated porn, non-consensual deepfakes, and related technologies. Treatment emphasizes mindfulness, men’s groups, integrity, and Viktor Frankl’s “space between stimulus and response” over reliance on blockers; Lipkowitz recommends abstinence first if moderation is attempted.

00:00 Rebroadcast Introduction

01:34 Meet Jeremy Lipkowitz

04:19 Who Watches Porn

05:28 Taboo Meets Normalized

07:04 Kids And Early Exposure

12:49 Porn Scripts And Consent

15:47 Porn As Emotional Coping

20:11 Shame Fuels Addiction

26:52 Making It Less Shameful

28:01 Men's Groups Explained

33:44 Performers And Exploitation

39:36 Is Any Use Safe

42:55 Subtle Long Term Effects

47:11 Hungry Ghost Origin Story

48:43 From Catalogs to Tube Sites

49:30 When Lust Becomes Suffering

50:46 Hungry Ghosts Explained

52:26 Pros and Cons of Quitting

54:59 Masturbation Without Porn

56:50 Engineered to Be Addictive

59:52 AI Porn Pandora Box

01:05:15 Skillful vs Unskillful Desire

01:07:55 Life After Porn Benefits

01:12:54 Relapse and the Three As

01:15:58 Mindfulness Space to Choose

01:20:01 Abstinence vs Moderation

01:22:13 Rapid Fire and Farewell

🔹 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now:
https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

Piers Cross on Trauma, Addiction, and Self-Compassion

Most men walk around with stones in their shoes their whole lives. They don't know the stones are there. They just know something hurts, and they've learned to keep walking anyway.

That's one of the most powerful things Piers Cross said in this conversation. And it captures something I see all the time in the men I work with — unprocessed trauma quietly running the show, showing up as compulsive behavior, isolation, a relentless inner critic that won't let them rest.

Piers's own story is one of the more remarkable ones I've encountered. He grew up with an alcoholic father, ran away to boarding school, watched a friend die by suicide, and was then sexually abused by the priest the school sent them to for support. He suppressed all of it, built a successful career in finance, and slowly fell apart. At his lowest point he was homeless, struggling with drugs and alcohol, and tried to take his own life. What turned it around was ending up at a Buddhist monastery — where he stayed for over 1,000 days. He's been sober for 24 years.

In this episode we talk about:

• How suppressed childhood trauma shows up in adult addiction, even when the connection isn't obvious
• Why going back to touch trauma can re-traumatize you — and what to do instead
• What EFT tapping is, how it works neurologically, and why Piers uses it with every client
• The three ingredients Robert Moore says are required for real initiation to happen
• Why the monastery was a rite of passage from boy to man — and what that has to do with recovery
• The inner critic loop that keeps men stuck, and how to step out of it
• Why alcohol and porn relapse are more connected than most people realize
• A five-minute safety meditation practice you can start today
• What Piers wants every man struggling with addiction to hear before anything else

The self-compassion piece in this one is worth the whole conversation. The image Piers uses — of picking a child up 100 times when they fall — is the kind of thing that stays with you.

Connect with Piers Cross:

Coaching: piers-cross.com

Leadership work: compassionateleadersglobal.com

Podcast: An Evolving Man

Documentary: Boarding on Insanity

Resources from Jeremy:

Unhooked Academy: unhookedacademy.com

14-Day Slip Reset: unhookedacademy.com/reset