By No More Desire
What have you tried so far to quit porn? Accountability buddies, talk therapy, internet filters, church or religious programs, or mindfulness techniques to 'get rid of cravings'… Many of these have
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The podcast currently has 67 episodes available.
“My wife won’t have sex with me”, “Porn addiction has ruined our marriage and our sex life”, “My wife has gained 80 lbs since we got married, and I’m no longer sexually attracted to her”, “My wife dresses like a nun and wants nothing to do with sex”...
If any of these sound like you, and you’re in a marriage where sex is as frequent as a solar eclipse (or if that’s too generous), today’s episode is for you. Today, we’re going to talk about:
If you want to overcome porn addiction, or if you have a spouse who is addicted to porn, know that you can both develop an amazing relationship together. You are not doomed to this, you are not crazy or horrible, and you can quit porn and live the life of your dreams. It simply requires building a recovery mindset and lifestyle so you can break free of porn.
God bless and much love.
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Join My Email Newsletter
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
Schedule a Free Consultation
MORE EPISODES
When Wives Become Sex Objects | Porn Addiction in Marriage, and How a Man Overcomes Sexual Obsession
The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction
How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits
Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
No More Desire
Today, I address common questions many men I’ve worked with have had about porn addiction in marriage. We’ll talk about how wives can unfortunately become sex objects in today's cultural climate (and how to put a stop to it), and how a husband can:
If you’re a spouse of a porn addict, this episode is also for you. You will gain a far deeper understanding of porn addiction, and (I hope) a compassion for your partner who is struggling with it.
You are not alone. You are not crazy. And you can both heal and get better, and I'll give you a path to do this step-by-step in this episode.
Understanding the Impact of Porn Addiction in Marriage
Many men and women are extremely concerned by the effects porn addiction has had on their marriage.
Here are some of the questions and concerns men in my program have had about quitting porn and their marital sexual relationship:
We address each of these questions in today's episode.
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Join My Email Newsletter
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
Schedule a Free Consultation
MORE ARTICLES
Beat Porn Triggers Using the 5-Step System to Overcome Porn Addiction
How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse
8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction
No More Desire
Many of my clients have the same question when they start my porn addiction recovery program: “When triggers for porn come up, I just don’t know how to handle them. Are there any simple practices I can use to overcome porn triggers?”
In today’s episode, I am going to show you how to beat porn triggers and overcome porn addiction using a 5-step system that is simple and easy to apply.
With this 5-step system, you will no longer be confused about how to handle porn triggers because you’ll have a strategy in place every time a trigger comes up. You’ll be prepared with the recovery mindset and lifestyle strategies you need to combat porn cravings and come out victorious.
When you’re taking the first steps to overcome porn addiction, triggers can feel overwhelming. And they come in many different forms, both direct and indirect.
Direct Triggers for Porn Addiction
A direct trigger is anything that is directly sexually arousing.
These triggers can bring feelings of fear when you struggle with porn addiction. Perhaps you become aroused and then you feel afraid that arousal is going to lead you to relapse with porn.
We'll talk about how to combat that.
Indirect Triggers for Porn Addiction
If you’re a bit more advanced in your porn addiction recovery journey, you may already be aware that pornography addiction is not so much about direct triggers as it is about all of the various aspects of your mindset and lifestyle that are adding to your susceptibility to porn addiction.
In other words, there are negative emotions, thought patterns, and beliefs that are fueling your porn addiction, and it is likely that you’ve been experiencing these for some time now.
These mental habits that power porn addiction are often unconscious; you may be completely unaware of them.
Today, I’ll give you my 5-step system that’s part of the recovery mindset and lifestyle you need to stop porn addiction.
Blog Article: Beat Porn Triggers & Overcome Porn Addiction
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Join My Email Newsletter
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
Schedule a Free Consultation
MORE EPISODES
15 Porn Addiction Symptoms that Porn Addicts and Spouses Should Know
The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction
How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits
Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
No More Desire
Do you or your spouse struggle with a porn addiction? Or do you suspect that you or your spouse may be struggling with one? Today, I’m going to share 17 porn addiction symptoms that porn addicts and spouses should know.
I’ve been working in the addiction community for years, and I have seen recurring patterns and themes among clients and friends who are trying to quit porn. I’ve also been through my own porn addiction recovery journey. In this article, I pull upon both my professional experience helping others stop porn addiction and my personal experience overcoming porn addiction.
Let me start by saying I believe porn addiction symptoms are far deeper and broader than many of us might think. I’m not just here to talk about the behavior of watching porn. That’s just a tiny part of the whole picture.
When we struggle with porn addiction, there are a plethora of symptoms - psychologically, behaviorally, relationally, physically, and spiritually. It impacts every part of our lives.
If you’re the spouse of someone with a porn addiction, I’m hoping that today's topic can fill you with compassion and understanding for them. And if you listen up and take notes, I believe that this new knowledge will empower you with a deeper and broader perspective of pornography addiction, so that you can better help your loved one.
Symptoms: Correlation vs. Causation
As a quick caveat, these 17 porn addiction signs do not prove that someone has a porn addiction, nor is porn addiction the sole cause of many of these symptoms. Rather, porn addiction can initiate, increase or exacerbate many of these symptoms, but there are always other factors that play a role in their development.
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Join My Email Newsletter
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
Schedule a Free Consultation
MORE ARTICLES
How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse (Without a Fight) Using The 4-Pronged Ownership Approach
The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction
How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits
Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction
No More Desire
You just watched porn. You’ve been working hard to stay sober and stop watching porn, but despite your best efforts, you slipped up and now you’re in a dilemma… How to tell your wife about your porn relapse?
Relapses are a common part of porn addiction recovery. I would love it if they weren’t, but they are! It’s just the reality.
During the years I was working to quit porn, I relapsed after a year of sobriety…twice! It was brutally discouraging, but it was not the end for me. I went on to long-term sobriety, which has reached nearly a decade now.
Relapse does not equal failure. It can be a stepping stone towards long-lasting sobriety. But only if you have the right steps in place to deal with the relapse in a way that is psychologically effective. If so, you can use the relapse as a springboard to overcome porn addiction.
If I’m an individual who struggles with pornography addiction, I’m going to have a much easier time quitting porn if I have my spouse in my corner. And for that to happen, I need to build the knowledge and skills necessary to tell my wife about my relapse with pornography in a way that honors both her feelings and mine, and helps her feel I’m that doing what it takes to stop porn addiction.
Today, I’m going to share with you what I call the 4-Pronged Ownership Approach for Porn Relapse, a simple structure to turn relapses into stepping stones for recovery and communicate a slip to your wife, or other family members, in a loving and powerful way that leads to the best outcome for both your sobriety and relationship.
Blog Article: How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse (Without a Fight) Using The 4-Pronged Ownership Approach
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Join My Email Newsletter
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
Schedule a Free Consultation
MORE ARTICLES
Make Friends with the Addict Part of Your Brain | Quit Porn Using 3 Evidence-based IFS Principles
The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction
How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits
Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction
No More Desire
If you struggle with porn addiction, it can be a real challenge to figure out why you experience cravings for porn.
A lot of the world will tell you it’s because you crave sex - it’s your natural urges - and you just need to discipline yourself enough to stop watching porn.
That’s not the case. You’re not a man with an overactive sex drive. You’re not lazy. You’re not weird. You’re not a pervert. You’re not bad for dealing with a porn addiction.
You don’t build willpower to overcome porn addiction. Instead, you build a new way of thinking and living - a recovery mindset and a recovery lifestyle.
Today, we’re going to focus deeply on the recovery mindset, specifically, and exactly how this mindset is achieved.
You’re going to learn how to think and process through the thoughts and the emotions that are behind pornography addiction. You’re going to learn how to live the “no more porn” lifestyle by discovering how to talk to yourself about these thoughts and emotions, and how to become deeply aware of thought patterns that feed addiction, so that you can learn how to stop porn addiction by stopping and redirecting those addictive thought patterns.
The process I’m about to teach you is the very same one that I teach to clients across the world in my intensive porn addiction recovery program. And it’s the very same one that I’ve used to quit porn and remain sober for over 9 years now.
This is not about facing and fighting cravings. It’s not about special mental techniques to distract you from cravings or fancy methods to handle triggers. Instead, it is a system of 5 levels - from the surface of conscious thought to the deepest unconscious drivers of porn addiction. And I’m going to show you how to get to those unconscious drivers of addiction, and begin replacing destructive mental habits with productive mental habits.
Blog: Stop Thoughts that Cause Porn Addiction | The 5 Levels of Cognition Behind Cravings
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Join My Email Newsletter
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
Schedule a Free Consultation
MORE EPISODES
Quit Porn Using 3 Evidence-based IFS Principles | Make Friends with the Addict Part of Your Brain
Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits
The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction
How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
No More Desire
Today, you're going to use 3 evidence-based IFS principles to learn how to quit porn by making friends with the addict part of your brain.
IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy is a powerful framework for overcoming addiction. It takes a non-traditional approach that has been studied and utilized for 40 years, and has been shown to be highly effective.
Using this approach, you'll discover how to make peace with the part of you that has consistently led you to porn addiction - this part that creates destruction in your life right now.
You’re going to learn how to make it your ally, your best friend, something that actually helps you rather than hurts you.
If that sounds strange, don't worry—I’ll explain exactly how this works.
If you’re like I was during the many years I was addicted to porn, you’ve likely become tired and frustrated with this addict part of your brain that keeps acting against you. You've been fighting it and trying to shut it up.
In order for you to quit porn, your frustration and fighting needs to end, and you need to become connected with this addict part of you, and see it with more clarity and understanding. Only then can you redirect it down a positive path, and overcome porn addiction.
The label “Porn Addict” does not define you
You’re a good man. I want to say that upfront. I remember feeling worthless, like I was a terrible person and that's why I couldn't stop porn.
You might think, "Jake, that's not true. I'm a bad person. Look at everything I've done." I used to tell myself those things too. There was a time I wanted to take my own life. And I came out of it, and am a better person because of those struggles.
You just have some habits that aren’t serving you or the people around you. You have this part of you, this addict part, that takes control sometimes. Instead of the real you—the good you—being in the driver’s seat.
This addict part takes over, leaving you in the backseat wondering, “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I control myself? Why do I keep doing this to my wife and kids? Why do I know better but not do better?”
You are destined for a greater life. You just need the right tools and strategies.
You'll learn them in today's episode.
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Join My Email Newsletter
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
Schedule a Free Consultation
MORE ARTICLES
Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits
The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction
How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
No More Desire
What if you had a mental toolbelt to stop porn cravings and overcome fantasizing and lust habits? Today, I’m going to give you exactly that.
By the end of this episode, you will have 7 tools to overcome fantasizing and lust, so you can beat porn cravings and stop wanting pornography. But - just like anything - in order for them to work, you have to apply them.
Imagine you’re at the gym and you see a girl in her gym outfit, or you’re browsing online and see some ad pop up with a woman in a bathing suit, or you’re walkin’ down the street and you see a girl with short-shorts and cleavage.
Many of these situations can be very challenging when you’ve struggled with porn addiction and you’re trying to get sober. You may feel sick of these triggers popping up around you, and you may think if you can just avoid them then you won’t be tempted to watch porn.
But the answer to handling these triggers, and working through porn cravings, fantasizing, and lust is not avoidance. Instead, it’s about having mental strategies to think through triggers and cravings.
It’s about building psychological habits - new mental processes - to replace the default mental processes that are leading to porn relapse.
It’s easy to let the mind wander and focus on lust and fantasies. Most men do this. But these thoughts don’t serve you or those around you, nor do they help you become the strong, capable, and courageous man, husband, and father that you want to be.
Overcoming these default mental habits of fantasizing, lust, and craving is challenging (I won’t lie!), but it’s also something that anyone can do. It’s something that you can do.
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Join My Email Newsletter
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
Schedule a Free Consultation
MORE EPISODES
3 Thought Strategies to Prevent Porn Addiction and Cravings
The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction
How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction
No More Desire
When my porn addiction recovery story started a decade ago, I believed that the cravings for porn were my main enemy. I thought that if I could just resist these urges, I’d be free.
However, through years of working with men around the world and diving deep into my own experiences, I've come to understand that these cravings are merely symptoms of deeper issues.
The true battle lies in preventing these cravings from emerging in the first place.
Today, I share how to overcome porn addiction using practical, in-the-trenches solutions and strategies to not only stop porn addiction symptoms, but remove the desire for porn.
You will come away understanding the types of thoughts and emotions that fuel cravings for porn, as well as how to break porn addiction using daily practices that anyone can learn and apply.
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Join My Email Newsletter
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
Schedule a Free Consultation
MORE EPISODES
The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction
How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break the Addiction Cycle
Pleasure Conditioning: Decrease Porn Cravings
More Episodes
No More Desire
One of the pillars for building a recovery mindset and lifestyle to overcome porn addiction is connection - or in other words having positive, fulfilling relationships.
In today’s episode, I speak with Chris Reavis, professional coach, speaker, and author in the corporate space. He teaches how we can enjoy work more and build better corporate relationships with co-workers and leaders using brain science and evidence-based methods.
As work is where we may spend about 1/3rd of our life, it’s important that we have good relationships and interactions with coworkers, bosses, clients, etc… If we are in a toxic environment, or we are constantly in conflict, or simply feeling lonely or disconnected, this contributes to the isolated, detached, chaotic thought patterns and beliefs that contribute to pornography addiction and other addictions.
Building new habits to improve our work relationships and satisfaction contributes to the No More Porn Lifestyle and Mindset, and experiencing overall greater happiness, peace, and well-being.
ABOUT CHRIS REAVIS
Chris helps leaders turn naysayers into innovators, using proven neuroscience. He is a tech leader and 3-time bestselling author that loves removing obstacles from the workplace.
He teaches others to find what’s causing their work issues and how to overcome them. If it’s time to leave, he helps them take the next best steps. If it’s time for a side hustle, Chris can teach them what works.
Chris shares 13 evidence-based approaches that anyone can use to enjoy a much happier and more productive career.
Chris is a multiple bestselling author, including the books Unleashed and Hashrate. He lives with his wife, son, and wonder pup Penelope in the Pacific Northwest.
Check out Chris’s Free Mini-Course: How to Help Leaders Say "Yes" to Your Idea.
You can grab Chris’s Best-Selling Book: Boost Your Bullsh*t Resilience at Work at thebsbook.com or on Amazon.
Blog - How You Can Enjoy Work More
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Join My Email Newsletter
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
Schedule a Free Consultation
MORE ARTICLES
The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction
How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
No More Desire
The podcast currently has 67 episodes available.
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