By No More Desire
What have you tried so far to quit porn? Accountability buddies, talk therapy, internet filters, church or religious programs, or mindfulness techniques to 'get rid of cravings'… Many of these have
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The podcast currently has 75 episodes available.
What if your brain pushes you towards porn addiction because it’s trying to help you, not hurt you? What if you could quit porn using IFS, an approach that helps you effectively understand and speak with the part of your brain pushing you towards porn, and you could redirect it? What if you could work alongside that part to overcome porn addiction, rather than feeling exhausted trying to fight it all of the time?
Since the dawn of western psychology, we have believed in a “mono-mind”. Meaning you have one brain and one personality. Seems pretty obvious, right? This is an assumption we’ve made based on hundreds if not thousands of years of tradition.
But what if this is incorrect? What if there is a more effective way of viewing the mind that results in accelerated mental healing and repair?
Internal Family Systems, “Sub-personalities”, and Porn Addiction Recovery
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a psychological modality that was founded by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980’s. Over the 2010’s and 2020’s it has accelerated rapidly into the mainstream due to its extremely effective approach for helping clients and individuals with addiction and mental illness.
IFS denies the assumption of “mono-mind” (that we have one personality and one identity), and instead posits that our mind is made up of multiple "parts" or sub-personalities, all contributing to our psyche and individuality.
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Schedule a FREE CONSULTATION
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
Join My Email Newsletter
MORE ARTICLES
Being Self-Critical Fuels Porn Addiction | How to Stop Perfectionism So You Can Stop Watching Porn
How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse
The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction
How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits
Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction
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No More Desire
Porn addiction and perfectionism go hand-in-hand. If you want to stop watching porn, you need to understand the underlying relationship between porn addiction and these self-critical tendencies.
One of the great misconceptions out in the world is that porn addicts are selfish, lazy, or simply don’t try hard enough. But in working with these men one-on-one, I don't see this at all.
What if I told you that men who struggle with porn addiction are some of the most self-critical and perfectionistic people there are? What if I told you that porn addicts aren’t people who are lazy, selfish, or don’t care, but are actually sensitive, caring, and deeply want to do the right thing?
When we talk about porn addiction, we often focus on willpower and restraint, imagining that the answer is simply "trying harder." But for many of us, perfectionism is an underlying issue that drives the cycle of addiction.
When we set impossible standards for ourselves, we inevitably fall short, and it’s in those gaps between our expectations and reality where shame, judgment, and addiction thrive.
Through self-acceptance and self-compassion, addicts can heal and overcome porn addiction. They can quit porn by digging deep into the underlying insecurities and mental mechanisms that keep them stuck.
Today, I'll teach you how to spot these insecurities and mechanisms so that you can break porn addiction for good.
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Join My Email Newsletter
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
Schedule a FREE CONSULTATION
MORE ARTICLES
Porn Addiction Positive Affirmations that Are Psychologically Effective
How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse
The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction
How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits
Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction
No More Desire
Do you wish you had a list of recovery mindset statements that could train your brain out of porn addiction? Do you wish you had porn addiction positive affirmations that could convince you to quit porn?
Today I am not going to give you that list…because that list does not exist. Don’t believe the hype out there…
But what I am going to give you is:
I’ll also explain why common porn addiction positive affirmations such as, “I am free from porn addiction”, or ,“I am in control of my sexual urges”, are actually harmful, not helpful, and what statements to use instead.
What are Positive Affirmations for Porn Addiction
Positive affirmations are statements you can repeat to yourself that are meant to affirm and train your mind to believe in positive outcomes. By focusing on positive affirmations, you can help your brain see yourself and the world in a more positive light.
Porn addiction positive affirmations then are statements you can repeat each day to train your brain to believe that sobriety is possible for you, and to begin to believe that you are living a sober life, thereby causing you to act differently and make better choices to recover. They can be effective as part of a larger personalized recovery plan.
Build the No More Porn Lifestyle
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Join My Email Newsletter
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
Schedule a FREE CONSULTATION
MORE ARTICLES
4 Psychological Blocks that Prevent Porn Recovery and How to Bust Through Them
How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse
The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction
How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits
Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction
No More Desire
You cannot quit porn simply by overcoming sexual cravings and urges. Porn addiction doesn’t ultimately stem from these urges (as surprising as that is).
In reality, porn cravings are a symptom of underlying psychological barriers you're experiencing that are preventing porn addiction recovery.
Instead of facing or fighting porn cravings, you need to get to the root causes of pornography addiction. You need to access the mental blocks in your mindset and remove them.
I’m going to teach you how to do this today.
If you properly and consistently follow these 4 steps for emotional processing from day to day, there's an excellent chance you will eventually not need to deal with porn cravings in the first place. They simply won’t be there.
It is impossible for me to give you the perfect formula to overcome porn addiction in one blog article. That said, I can give you some tools for emotional processing that rely on sound principles from multiple psychological modalities, including CBT and IFS, as well as spiritual teachings from Eastern and Western Faiths.
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Join My Email Newsletter
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
Schedule a FREE CONSULTATION
MORE ARTICLES
Relapse-Free Business Trips & Vacations | How to Build a Safety Plan to Stop Watching Porn While Traveling
How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse
The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction
How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits
Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction
No More Desire
Have you ever had a streak of sobriety, only to go on a vacation or business trip and relapse on porn? In order to stop watching porn on business trips and vacations, you need to take a proactive approach.
One of the most counterintuitive things about vacation is that it can be one of the greatest triggers for relapse. Vacation takes us out of our norms and routines, giving way to unanticipated complications and temptations.
Business trips can also lead to porn relapse, as we are often under pressure and stress during the day and alone in our hotel room during the night. It’s the perfect storm.
You need to set yourself up for success. Recovery is not just going to “happen”. It is deliberate. It is planned. This is true when it comes to travel, especially during the first few years of your porn addiction recovery.
Why Vacations Can Lead to Porn Relapse
Ironically, vacations can be one of the most triggering situations for many who’ve struggled with pornography addiction.
“Going with the flow” and being away from structure and responsibilities can seem like the exact thing you need to stay sober. But the reality is often the opposite of what you need to quit porn.
Those who struggle with addiction often have intense minds. We crave meaning, purpose, and excitement. While these forms of meaning, purpose, and excitement may look a bit different for each individual, we all crave them.
If we don’t get these things to a reasonable degree each day, we may find it hard not to seek out addiction as a cheap way to "fill the hole."
So, it’s up to us to find simple, practical ways to provide ourselves with the healthy outlets and structure necessary to get our daily dose of meaning, purpose, and excitement so we can break porn addiction.
Why Business Trips Can Lead to Porn Relapse
Business trips can be another massive trigger for recovering addicts. These can be high-pressure events where we feel the need to impress high-level professionals and network connections, or face endless hours of education and courses.
All of this requires deep focus, and at the end of it all it can be easy to feel like we need a break or “release”. Addictions can often be our brain’s go-to in order to temporarily “alleviate” this stress.
We are also often alone on business trips, which can make us more vulnerable to acting out because no one is there to watch us.
If we want to stay sober on a business trip, we need to be wise, deliberate, and pre-emptive. We need to establish a system that supports our porn recovery while we’re out there.
In Today's Episode, You'll Learn How to Build a Safety Plan to Stay Sober From Porn on Vacations & Business Trips
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Join My Email Newsletter
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
Schedule a FREE CONSULTATION
MORE ARTICLES
What Do I Do When My Wife is Triggered? | How to Hold Boundaries and Use the Language of Safety in Your Marriage
How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
No More Desire
If you’re married and you struggle with a porn addiction, we’re going to talk about what to do when your wife is triggered.
I have seen a recurring trend with my clients who struggle with pornography addiction. Many have no boundaries with their partners. They face some very serious struggles and confusion in their marriage, trying to figure out how to react when their wives with betrayal trauma are triggered. In other words, when their wives become angry, defensive, lash out, become critical and insulting, or they shut down and give their husbands the silent treatment.
Very common these days - even in circles of recovery - is the tendency to believe that the porn addict can have no expectations or standards for how he is treated, because of the fact that he has betrayed his wife by watching porn, and that ALL of the issues in their relationship stem from his behavior. His wife can berate and put him down, and it is “justified” because of his porn addiction.
This kind of treatment can deeply hurt the addict, who by the way, despite his self-centered behavior, is a human being. Betrayed wives will sometimes blame their addict husbands for everything that’s wrong, and this crushes their husband’s self-esteem, causing him to feel hated and worthless. This works against the very thing that the wife wants most, which is a capable, responsible, and selfless husband. Not to mention this does not help him stop watching porn.
An addict’s betrayal of their spouse is, without a doubt, selfish. But it is also personally devastating and traumatic for the addict to endure. To overcome porn addiction requires far more than willpower, motivation, or a decision to stop. The recovering addict needs the proper recovery mindset and lifestyle tools, and qualified help for porn addiction.
Part of building this recovery mindset and lifestyle is to learn how to effectively engage with your romantic partner. Today, we will discuss the following to help you do this:
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Join My Email Newsletter
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
Schedule a Free Consultation
MORE ARTICLES
Journey Out of Darkness | A Porn Addiction Story
Porn Addiction is Just a Symptom
How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
No More Desire
In today’s article, I’m going to share a story with you. One that I believe every porn addict can relate to.
This story is going to teach you how to heal porn addiction using loving and compassionate methods that, in my opinion, people don’t talk about enough.
It’s also going to teach you the truth about the underlying psychology and root causes of porn addiction.
This story will be told from the perspective of a father who is watching their son struggle with a pornography addiction. And regardless of whether you’re a parent to an addict, a spouse of an addict, or the addict themselves, I believe this story will help you. Above all, I hope it helps you feel seen, understood, and loved.
I based this story on a therapeutic experience I had in an IFS therapy session, where I came face to face with an ‘addict part’ of my mind and had a sacred interaction as best I can describe it.
That addict part of me became addicted to porn and masturbation when I was 12-years-old and had remained stuck in the shame and belief that it was unlovable, alone, and perceived as evil.
Many porn addicts have a part of their mind that is still there in the past - stuck in that bathroom or at that computer screen - believing horrible things about themselves.
If we can truly see ourselves and get in touch with the pain behind the porn addiction - showing ourselves compassion and love - I believe we can start to unravel that pain and overcome porn addiction using the proper recovery mindset and lifestyle tools.
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Join My Email Newsletter
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
Schedule a Free Consultation
MORE ARTICLES
From Porn to Peace | Recovery Mindset Practices to Stop Watching Porn
Make Friends with the Addict Part of You | Quit Porn Using 3 IFS Principles
How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse
The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction
How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits
Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction
No More Desire
What if you had mental tools you could use in an instant to remove your desire for porn?
What if you could stop watching porn because you had a recovery mindset that replaced your need for it?
What I often hear from my clients when they begin my intensive porn addiction recovery program is that cravings for porn and sex feel instant and automatic. They see a woman, and immediately the lust and fantasizing starts.
I remember exactly what that was like during the years I was addicted to porn.
Many men feel out of control and unable to change the way they think about sexuality, romantic relationships, and women. They feel they have no choice whether they get dragged along by their sexual urges, and so much of what they want to accomplish or become is drowned out by these on-going sexual cravings.
They have a powerful drive to do great things with their lives, but so much of that just doesn’t feel possible with this monkey on their back.
It's difficult to quit porn. Sexual drive is a powerful force, and it can feel exhausting trying to fight it all the time; trying to be a responsible man, husband, and father. Sometimes we might wish we could just turn our sexual attraction off! Flip a switch and make the desires go away.
That’s the same way I felt for many years.
Today, I’ll teach you to stop watching porn by building a recovery mindset that replaces your desire for porn with a new, fulfilling perspective that enables you to love the people around you and yourself. Not in some cheap, boyish way, but in a mature, masculine way.
This perspective takes work. It’s not some freaking magic trick to “quit porn in 30 days” (those are scams). Instead, it’s a practical and psychological approach you can use throughout your day.
Read on to learn how you can grow this recovery mindset and replace your desire for porn with a fresh, new perspective that serves you and your loved ones.
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Join My Email Newsletter
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
Schedule a Free Consultation
MORE ARTICLES
How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse
The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction
How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits
Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction
No More Desire
“My wife won’t have sex with me”, “Porn addiction has ruined our marriage and our sex life”, “My wife has gained 80 lbs since we got married, and I’m no longer sexually attracted to her”, “My wife dresses like a nun and wants nothing to do with sex”...
If any of these sound like you, and you’re in a marriage where sex is as frequent as a solar eclipse (or if that’s too generous), today’s episode is for you. Today, we’re going to talk about:
If you want to overcome porn addiction, or if you have a spouse who is addicted to porn, know that you can both develop an amazing relationship together. You are not doomed to this, you are not crazy or horrible, and you can quit porn and live the life of your dreams. It simply requires building a recovery mindset and lifestyle so you can break free of porn.
God bless and much love.
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Join My Email Newsletter
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
Schedule a Free Consultation
MORE EPISODES
When Wives Become Sex Objects | Porn Addiction in Marriage, and How a Man Overcomes Sexual Obsession
The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction
How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits
Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
No More Desire
Today, I address common questions many men I’ve worked with have had about porn addiction in marriage. We’ll talk about how wives can unfortunately become sex objects in today's cultural climate (and how to put a stop to it), and how a husband can:
If you’re a spouse of a porn addict, this episode is also for you. You will gain a far deeper understanding of porn addiction, and (I hope) a compassion for your partner who is struggling with it.
You are not alone. You are not crazy. And you can both heal and get better, and I'll give you a path to do this step-by-step in this episode.
Understanding the Impact of Porn Addiction in Marriage
Many men and women are extremely concerned by the effects porn addiction has had on their marriage.
Here are some of the questions and concerns men in my program have had about quitting porn and their marital sexual relationship:
We address each of these questions in today's episode.
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Join My Email Newsletter
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
Schedule a Free Consultation
MORE ARTICLES
Beat Porn Triggers Using the 5-Step System to Overcome Porn Addiction
How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse
8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction
No More Desire
The podcast currently has 75 episodes available.
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