QuitByHealing - beat p*rn addiction to level up your life

Get the Destress Ritual for free: https://quitbyhealing.com/go/nPlrQAZH

Quit p*rn for good, in 21 days or less: https://quitbyhealing.com/go/8Lrjb3IJ

This episode explains why ambitious, self-optimization-driven men often fall into addictive binges (like p*rn, doomscrolling, binge eating, or substances): when life is all intensity and no deep recovery, the binge becomes the nervous system’s only reliable source of relief.

The very things that make you successful are the same that keep you stuck in a cycle of binge and recovery. Once you understand how it works and try the tools I share in this video, you can finally set yourself free.

Is p*rn addiction affecting you or is it a harmless habit? Take this survey to find out: https://quitbyhealing.com/go/rfPYxNVD

Chapters:

00:00 Intro

00:30 What's Really Going On

01:26 The Problem With Constant Pressure

04:02 The Outlier Bias

06:11 The Connection to Addiction

08:17 Binge as an Escape from Pressure

10:20 Solutions

11:38 What if You Don't Know How to Rest?

12:58 What is a Nervous System Reset?

14:59 Shake it Off

17:06 Resetting is Not the Same as Resting

18:49 The Pros and Cons of Meditation

20:18 Leisure Activities that Make You Feel Restless

22:32 Run this Experiment on Yourself

23:21 Replace Addiction with Deep Rest

25:27 Bonus: Try this Next

Get the guided audio here: https://quitbyhealing.com/go/yTogJccl

Sending Love: A 30-Second Practice to Calm Urges, Heal Addiction Roots & Let Go of Resentment

• Take the survey to understand your addiction type and get customized recommendations: https://quitbyhealing.com/go/oozGPhxj
• How to break the addiction loop: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmLfbXBWeZg
• The most extremely optimized way to quit p*rn and reinvent yourself while you do it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbPSY9ktLIA

Discover a simple Tibetan Buddhism-derived practice (simplified for Western audiences by Tara Springett) that can be done in as little as 30 seconds to calm the nervous system, reduce stress and anxiety, and support addiction recovery by addressing underlying emotional conflict.

It has its roots in Metta (loving-kindness) meditation and in this episode we uncover why heart-based practices have seemed less “legit” in Western science compared to mindfulness. And you'll discover exactly how you can make use of this simple technique to instantly find relief the next time you're about to relapse.

Chapters

00:00 Intro

01:28 The Practice

02:42 How to Start

04:04 The Ancient Roots of the Practice

05:14 Why You've Never Heard of It

07:40 Science is Slowly Catching Up

08:07 Sending Love, Level 1

10:30 Why Sending Love is Healing

11:53 A Matter of Practice

13:28 Sending Love, Level 2

15:38 What You Do for Others, You Do for Yourself

16:37 Sending Love to Yourself

18:56 Treat it as a Skill

20:01 How to Build a Stronger Habit

21:28 How to Do This if You're an Overthinker

22:41 How to Stop Talking Yourself Into Doing Things that Don't Work

24:53 Treat it as an Experiment

25:45 Deeper Guidance

Get the QuitByHealing Program to quit in 21 days or less: https://quitbyhealing.com/go/zpAxMhPQ

Join the newsletter: https://quitbyhealing.com/go/oQvQbqwf

Grab my FREE courses here: https://quitbyhealing.com/go/vTqUSGeP

Resources:

• Article with all the sources: https://quitbyhealing.com/blog/monogamy-myth
• Overcome your p*rn addiction in 21 days or less: https://quitbyhealing.com/go/G44hAE4n
• Learn the Introspective Writing method: https://quitbyhealing.com/go/KGEZw2kw
• My in depth guide to overcoming p*rn addiction while in a relationship: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F28Rnel63xY
• Written version of the relationship guide: https://quitbyhealing.com/blog/porn-addiction-relationship
• Research shows that self-compassion is a more effective way to change behavior: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5y4cjDQN7w8

Chapters:

00:00 Intro

01:19 The Myth of the Normal Relationship

02:21 Extra Baggage

03:01 Failure to Achieve Happily Ever After

04:05 The Data that Reveals the Lie

06:40 People Are Spicier than You Think

07:53 The Reality of Relationships & Desire

09:31 Why We Need to Talk About This

10:52 The Burden of Shame

12:51 External Changes Won't Save You

14:31 More Options on the Table

15:25 Go Easy On Yourself

Join the QuitByHealing newsletter: https://quitbyhealing.com/go/bM0A9lSx

Get my FREE shadow work course: https://quitbyhealing.com/go/IZPtn8H1

Get my FREE Introspective Writing Crash Course: https://quitbyhealing.com/go/PzPD0cIf

Quit P*rn in 21 days or less: https://quitbyhealing.com/go/gfHlwqst

Resources for you:

• What is Hyper-Stimulation?
• Follow Your Curiosity to Find What You Really Want
• Learn How to Feel Your Feelings (Sitting in the Fire)

• How to Set Healthy Boundaries
• Your Struggles Are Calling You to Greatness
• How to Create Brotherhood

Why is it so hard to quit your addictive behavior? Whether it's social media, phone use in general, p*rn, vaping, junk food... we live in the most addicted, most numbed out society ever.

Once you understand what truly drives this behavior, it becomes so much easier to quit and switch to good, wholesome habits instead. But if you don't understand that the real issue is the 5 underlying root causes we talk about here, you'll always be trying to solve the problem at the wrong end.

Chapters:

00:00 Intro

01:14 Level 1: Shallow Discomfort

02:49 Short Term Harmless, Long Term Harmful

04:48 Level 1 Solutions

06:39 Activate Awareness Powers

07:30 Trick Yourself Into New Preferences

08:42 The Simple Act of Reaching Out

09:48 Level 2: Suppressed Emotion

10:55 Clean vs. Dirty Discomfort

13:06 Two Surprising Discoveries About Emotions

14:07 Process, Interrupted

16:16 Level 2 Solutions

17:16 Level 3: Boundary Violations

20:12 The Courage to Take IRL Action

22:23 Internal Work is More Comfortable...

22:52 Level 4: Core Identity Wounds

23:32 Pattern 1: I'm Not Enough

24:15 Pattern 2: I'm Too Much

25:28 Level 4 Solutions

27:25 Shadow Work

28:13 Level 5: Existential Dread

29:48 Level 5 Solutions

32:40 Stop Obsessing Over the Tip of the Iceberg

Join the QuitByHealing newsletter: https://quitbyhealing.com/go/fieDZb8R

Get the FREE Introspective Writing Crash Course here: https://quitbyhealing.com/go/hEp1isX8

Quit your p*rn addiction once and for all: https://quitbyhealing.com/go/lSE027KZ

Thank you to the commenter who asked the question that inspired this episode! If you have questions of your own, please leave a comment. I try to read and answer them all!

What to watch next:

• The rise of AI companions: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7B4h997vZA
• Why trying to resist your urges never works: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=couAdusdd1w
• How to deal with urges: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dgvg8Je9Jdk

Join the QuitByHealing newsletter to never miss out on future episodes: https://quitbyhealing.com/go/hQU22pGv

Chapters:

00:00 Intro

00:35 The Problem Keeps Getting Worse

02:57 The New and Improved Fake Girlfriend

03:14 The Business of Addiction

04:31 Solutions, Step 1

06:15 Solutions, Step 2

06:52 Solutions, Step 3

08:07 You Have Every Reason to Stay Stuck

09:13 A New Way to Look at Your Challenges

10:54 The Path to Your Freedom

Get the QuitByHealing Porogram to quit your addiction in 21 days or less: https://quitbyhealing.com/go/lSE027KZ

The fastest way to quit p*rn addiction: https://quitbyhealing.com/go/QqOFyeZr

Get my free Introspective Writing Crash Course: https://quitbyhealing.com/go/nBWdDpEl

Resources:

• About replacement habits: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6Qi8KrFOfE
• Find your purpose by following your curiosity: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnR38xy10fI
• What to do if you lack curiosity: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9hM7s7xzG0
• What happened when I did SPARTAN MODE for 30 days: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbPSY9ktLIA
• The stages of masculine development: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLsEGUF3JUg
• How to build community: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuc1u_LwxeM

Sign up for the newsletter to get access to all of my free resources: https://quitbyhealing.com/go/vsVRtCgm

Chapters:

00:00 Intro

00:28 An Ancient Story from an Unusual Place

01:15 My Request to the Master

02:14 The Answer, Part 1

04:14 The Answer, Part 2

05:44 Not All Choices Are Equal

07:59 How I Applied this Teaching in My Own Life

10:13 What Makes this Approach Even More Powerful

11:14 Positive Reinforcement

11:46 Make it Easy for Yourself to Win

13:45 What Matters is Meaning

14:35 Use the Resources Available to You

I didn't record any footage during this trip into the remote regions of Portugal, so I included a few snippets from these videos to illustrate the road trip:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0vSyz9P6UY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dY6Id-N7AHo

Quit p*rn in 21 days or less: https://quitbyhealing.com/go/QqOFyeZr

Get the FREE shadow work course here: https://quitbyhealing.com/shadow

Free yourself from p*rn addiction in 21 days or less: https://quitbyhealing.com/program

The episode teaches a technique called “Sitting in the Fire” (also called the embodiment method) to handle urges in porn addiction recovery.

Instead of avoiding discomfort or taking action to make it stop, you direct the spotlight of attention inward, locate where the urge or emotion is felt in the body, zoom in with detailed observation, and simply stay with it without trying to change it. “I can’t take it anymore” is an illusion created by the mind, and this technique proves it.

Chapters:

00:00 Intro

00:33 Revealing the Illusion

01:14 The Spotlight of Attention

03:12 What is Sitting in the Fire?

04:59 The Two Factors

06:08 When to Sit in the Fire

07:43 The Exact Process

09:52 Staying Present

11:23 If You Can Watch Clouds, You Can Do This

12:02 What to Say in Your Mind

13:17 Busting the Illusion

14:31 What if the Difficult Feelings Get Stronger?

16:27 How to Call Your Mind's BS

18:00 "But it doesn't work for me"

18:59 The Reset

20:30 How it Makes You Powerful

22:25 One Layer Deeper?Join the newsletter to get all my free resources & heal your brain in the most efficient way possible: https://quitbyhealing.com/newsletter

The fastest way to quit: https://quitbyhealing.com/program/

The episode explains that a major internal obstacle behind porn addiction and relapse is an unhealthy, shame-based relationship with sexuality shaped by repression and cultural messaging.

Sexual urges are innate, so resisting and repressing them can intensify obsession and drive addictive coping; emotional pain from guilt and “not good enough” beliefs is often numbed through porn, worsening the cycle. Conflicting online “manosphere” advice makes things worse, not better.

That's why it's time to define your own values and clarify your own beliefs. In this episode, you will see exactly how you can do this by answering 4 questions. This is one of the things that will help fortify your mind and make you more mature and harder to shake.

More about this here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLsEGUF3JUg

Resources:

• Get access to my Introspective Writing crash course & my other free resources here: https://quitbyhealing.com/newsletter/
• Why healing from you addiction can be your greatest opportunity: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6G4PmragEY
• Why not NoFap: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5as7UMOU39M
• The ultimate dopamine/addiction reset, tested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbPSY9ktLIA

Chapters:

00:00 Intro

00:41 The Internal Obstacle

01:24 The Problem of Repression

02:57 You Can't Turn Off Your Instincts

04:19 Shame vs. Pressure

06:06 The Problem of Conflicting Advice

07:29 Form Your Own Beliefs

08:07 Question 1

10:08 Question 2

11:39 Women, the World and You

15:41 Question 3

17:03 Question 4

19:14 Are You Causing Your Own Suffering?

21:07 How to Do This Exercise

22:16 Shaping Your Beliefs to Shape Your Outcomes

24:08 A Process of Maturing

25:29 Final Notes

How to quit in 21 days or less: https://quitbyhealing.com/program/

Videos I referenced in this one:

• You cannot undo your habits, only overwrite them: https://youtu.be/couAdusdd1w
• Replacement habits: https://youtu.be/p6Qi8KrFOfE
• Even more replacement habits (deep dive): https://youtu.be/IRVbs_hEs2k
• How to follow your curiosity (and why it solves more problems than you think): https://youtu.be/SnR38xy10fI
• Seize the opportunity: https://youtu.be/m6G4PmragEY
• SPARTAN MODE - the fastest way to rewire your brain: https://youtu.be/sbPSY9ktLIA
• Spartan Mode Deep Dive: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zw3l_inRVdU

Join my newsletter: https://quitbyhealing.com/newsletter/

Chapters:

00:00 The Problem

01:11 How to Solve This Problem

01:42 Warning: Advanced Content

02:48 When the World Triggers You

04:07 Your Perception is the Key

04:46 Proof: Perception Shapes Reality

07:00 Perception, Part 2

08:07 Active Feedback Loops

09:25 From Mindset to Social Life

11:22 Mindset vs. Porn Addiction

12:22 How to Reprogram Your Mental Radar

14:57 The Algorithm Trap

16:09 Don't Create a Better Feed

18:24 There is No Better Way to Use TikTok

19:28 Decide Who You Want to Be

20:48 Go for Long Form Content

22:24 Your One Wild & Precious Life

24:56 Entering Creator Mode

27:02 How to Make the World Less Triggering

Quit in 21 days or less: https://quitbyhealing.com/program/

The Four Masculine Archetypes: A Path to Healing Porn Addiction

Porn addiction is often seen as a shameful secret, but what if understanding masculine archetypes could transform this narrative? In this video, we delve into the four primary masculine archetypes: Warrior, Lover, Magician, and King. We also look at their shadow sides and the understanding that holds the key to healing. Discover how early exposure to porn is related to the Magician archetype and learn how to achieve balance by integrating other archetypes. This transformative insight can be a key to healing your brain and becoming a fully integrated, powerful man.

Check out the article referenced in the beginning: https://thevale.substack.com/p/the-porn-addicted-magician

Join my newsletter to get exclusive content for free: https://quitbyhealing.com/newsletter/

Watch this next: https://youtu.be/m6G4PmragEY

Chapters:

00:00 Intro

00:35 The Addicted Magician

01:22 The Masculine Archetypes

02:26 The Warrior

02:54 The Lover

03:27 The Magician

04:06 The King

04:18 Your Core Archetype

04:48 My Experience With Archetypes

05:42 How to Use the Archetypes

06:38 Archetype Shadows

06:56 The Shadow Warrior

07:24 The Shadow Lover

08:20 The Shadow King

08:41 The Shadow Magician

09:29 The Shadow Magician & The Internet

12:10 Recovering Innocence

13:13 Finding the Light Side

15:09 Become the Integrated Man