What’s the difference between being paid for your emotional labor and giving it away for free? In this episode of the Sex Work VS miniseries, I explore how sex work reshaped my approach to relationships. From unreciprocated efforts with cis-het men to the gratitude that comes with being paid, I reflect love, and raising my standards. We’ll talk about oxytocin, one-sided coaching, the myth of romantic stability—and why financial independence feels far more secure. This isn’t about giving up on intimacy. It’s about knowing your worth, and deciding who (or what) deserves your time.

Watch on YouTube: https://youtube.com/evaoh

More on Eva Oh: https://eva-oh.com

HIGHLIGHTS:

Here are the timestamps for the episode. On some podcast players you should be able to click the timestamp to jump to that time.

(00:00) - Welcome. What is #teakink

(00:21) - Sex Work VS Relationships

(01:05) - The 'Natural' Progression, Dating to Relationship?

(02:15) - What I Would Need from a Relationship

(03:40) - The Societal Expectation of Having a Relationship

(07:10) - Being Taken for Granted

(09:10) - The Advantage of Paid VS Unpaid Emotional and Sexual Labour

(10:30) - One-sided Efforts when Engaging with Cis-het Men

(13:25) - Improving My Standards, Does it Help or Hinder

(15:40) - Getting Paid for the Usual Coaching of Men

(16:40) - The Exchange of Money Encourages Gratitude

(20:40) - Honing the Art of Relating and the Benefits of Getting Paid for It

(23:15) - Relationship Stability is not a Given, your Financial Independence can be

(24:50) - Do I Want to Spend My Life on Unworthy Pursuits and People?

(25:50) - Falling in Love as a Skill Learned through Sex Work

(26:55) - Friendships with Sex Workers as the Gold Standard

(27:45) - The Need for Reciprocation

(28:55) - What Cis-het Men Could Offer if Not My Gold Standard, Money and Connections