Sextras

Trigger warning: mention of SA at the end of the episode.

This week we’re talking about all things sex + phone related: from sexting, taking and sending nudes and having facetime or phone sex.

We begin the episode with a segment where we ask you what the best sext or nude you’ve sent or received is, and your tips for taking nudes and sexting. Then, we move on to discussing our own experiences with taking nudes and sexting, and if we enjoy doing them.

Honey gives us some facetime sex tips, and we explain why phone sex is good for long distance relationships. Maria gives us some tips for taking nudes, from poses to lighting, and we discuss some of the dangers of sexting, taking nudes and facetime sex. Though it’s not something we should feel ashamed of, or should have to even think about when it comes to partaking in these activities, sadly there are people out there who will betray your trust and share explicit photos with others, and we need to do our best to break the stigma around taking naked photos (because let’s be honest-everyone’s done it!) and having them leaked. The person doing the leaking is the one who should be shamed, rather than the subject of the photos, but we want you guys to protect yourselves no matter what and never feel pressured into sending nudes or making a sex tape, or anything when it comes to sex!

You should take nudes for yourself, and only if you really want to. Never do it for someone when you’re getting nothing out of it, and we do think there is good to come out of taking nudes, like making you feel more confident and sexy in your own body- and who doesn’t want that?!

We hope you guys enjoy this sexy episode, and you feel inspired to take some good nudes for yourself. To find more in future about sexting and nude taking tips, follow us on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook at Sextras Podcast. Send us an email if you have any experiences or tips you’d like to share at [email protected], or find us through our website www.sextraspodcast.com.

See you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we’re discussing whether other people’s relationships are your business. Though it can be helpful to get relationship advice, sometimes people offer unsolicited relationship advice when you feel as though it’s none of their business, so we break down when it’s acceptable to give relationship advice, who it’s acceptable to do it with and the reasons why you might comment on someone else’s relationship.

We begin the episode with a segment where we ask you whether you think it’s appropriate for other people to comment on your relationship. We then hear what the most helpful, and unhelpful, relationship advice you’ve received is, and a little bit more about when you guys think it’s acceptable for you to comment on someone’s relationship, or for them to comment on yours.

We then move on to the who, what, when and why of it all. We being by asking who can give relationship advice? We ponder whether certain friends can, and if it’s okay for random family members to give you advice, before discussing when and why you should give relationship advice- for example if someone asks for help or asks for your specific take on a situation, or if it’s alright to always have an opinion on your friends partners. We tell you about our own experiences offering each other advice, or what we think is helpful advice, and how to set boundaries when your friends and family are providing you with unhelpful commentary on your relationship. Finally, we discuss if you think your friend is in an unhealthy relationship, and how to deal with that by offering them your stance and trying to help them see the situation as it really is.

We hope you enjoy the episode, that you seek relationship advice whenever you truly need it, and that you don’t receive any advice that makes you feel worse about your relationship than you need to!

Don’t forget to follow us on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook at Sextras Podcast, and you can send us an email at [email protected], or an anonymous submission on our website www.sextraspodcast.com. You can also watch the podcast on YouTube, where all the episodes are categorised so if you’re looking for an episode on a specific topic you’ll know where to find it!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Life after graduating uni is very confusing— for the first time in your life, you might not know what you’re going to be doing with your life for the foreseeable future. It can be easy to feel lost after university- the uncertainty of where you’re going to be living, your friendships, and your relationships can really get you down, and so this week we’re talking all about it.

It’s been a year since we graduated uni, so we thought we’d have a little catch up. We tell you guys about Maria’s long distance relationship after uni, and our living situations. Both of us moved home after uni, so we discuss how to decide when you should move out, if you should move in with friends in your 20s or if it’s ok to live with a partner, or at least plan to live with a partner. Honey tells us about her recent trip to the US and how it really helped with her independence, and the difficulty of finding a job after uni. We also cover friendships after uni, and the trials and tribulations of trying to maintain them when, probably for the first time in your life, you’re all in very different phases, living in different places, and with different goals.

We really want to do an episode about making and maintaining friends after uni, so if you or anyone you know has a relevant story or some tips, please send them our way!

You can find more of us on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok at Sextras Podcast. Watch the podcast on YouTube, and subscribe there or wherever you get your podcasts, and send us an email at [email protected], or an anonymous confession on our website www.sextraspodcast.com!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we’re talking about something that isn’t particularly pleasant for anyone to talk about, but something that definitely needs to be acknowledged when discussing sex and relationships: cheating.

We begin the episode with a segment where we hear from you guys about whether you’ve ever been cheated on, or ever cheated on anybody, and if so what happened, to understand a little bit more of how many people have experienced cheating and how it affects relationships. We also ask if people would break up with someone because of cheating, to which 92% of people said they would.

We then move on to discussing our own experiences with cheating, and Maria tells us the story of when she cheated on her boyfriend, how that affected her mental health and how she told him she had cheated, as well as the aftermath. Though we don’t want to sympathise with cheaters, we think it’s important to tell how cheating affects the cheater as well as the person who was cheated on. We explore some hypothetical cheating situations, and attempt to understand how we’d react to them, but ultimately decide it is difficult to say unless you’re in the moment. Lastly, we talk about what counts as cheating, and how to set those boundaries with a partner from the beginning, so that you know if they consider online cheating as cheating, or if they consider microcheating something worthy of breaking up over.

We hope you enjoy the episode, if it was helpful to you in some way please leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts. You can reach out to us or find more of us on our website www.sextraspodcast.com, on Instagram, Facebook & TikTok @sextraspodcast, email us at [email protected], and support us by making a purchase from the sponsor of this video, Manscaped!

Have an amazing week and we’ll see you next Tuesday <3

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code SEXTRAS20 at Manscaped.com. It’s time to throw out your old hygiene habits and upgrade your life!

This week we’re talking all about social media— the good and the bad, and particularly how it affects our relationships with ourselves and our most important relationship- ourselves!

We begin the episode with a segment where we hear from your guys’ feelings about social media, including whether you like it overall and what you hate the most about it. Mostly, people seem to hate that social media is often a facade, or a presentation of the best parts of our lives, so we talk about how that aspect of social media can be extremely damaging to our mental health and our self esteem.

We then move on to discussing social media and relationships, attempting to answer the questions that are most often asked when it comes to dating and social media, such as if your partner should post you on their social media, and if so when, and if they’re not what it means. We also discuss the different ways couples showcase their relationships on different social media apps, and express why we prefer TikTok as a platform because of its video format.

Then, we tell you guys a bit about our personal social media consumption and how it affects our mental health, and attempt to give some tips for how to use social media, or at least how to manage your outlook when constantly taking in hundreds of peoples’ lives in order to stay grounded in your own.

Social media definitely has its dangers and disadvantages, but if you’re smart about your outlook on it and don’t place an extreme amount of importance on it, you might save your mental health and get a bit of entertainment along the way, too. 

Don’t forget to subscribe and share the podcast with a friend, it really helps us out! You can also help us out by using code SEXTRAS20 at Manscaped.com to get 20% off + Free Shipping! Please do feel free to contact us on our website www.sextraspodcast.com, email us at [email protected], and follow us on social media (Instagram and Facebook) at Sextras Podcast! 

— WE ARE LOOKING FOR SUBMISSIONS FOR A BONUS EPISODE, PLEASE SEND US YOUR SEX/ DATING/ CONFIDENCE STORIES AND QUESTIONS AT ANYWHERE ABOVE, OR EVEN ASK US QUESTIONS ABOUT OURSELVES AND HOSTING A PODCAST! — 

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code SEXTRAS20 at Manscaped.com. It’s time to throw out your old hygiene habits and upgrade your life!

This week we’re talking all things contraception! We begin the episode with a segment where we hear whether you guys are contraception, and if so if you use hormonal contraception or non hormonal/ barrier methods of contraception.

We then move on to discussing our own experiences with contraception to show the different ways the same form of contraception can affect everyone differently. We talk through the different forms of contraception that are available and give our opinions on which ones have been best for us (disclaimer: we are not medical professionals!) and how we’ve decided what works for us.

We wish you all the best with finding the best contraception for you, should you want to use it, but please do not use the pull out/ withdrawal/ rhythm method because it is simply not effective.

Don’t forget to share the podcast with a friend, leave us a review, and you can find more of us on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, watch the podcast on YouTube at Sextras Podcast, visit our website www.sextraspodcast.com or email us at [email protected].

Produced by Mable Production

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code SEXTRAS20 at Manscaped.com. It’s time to throw out your old hygiene habits and upgrade your life! #ad #manscapedpod

In this week’s episode we are joined by lovely guest Chanelle Gallant, who has been a sex worker rights activist for 20 years. We begin the episode by hearing how Chanelle got into sex work activism, and why sex work activism is so important, not just for sex workers but for wider society too (hint— sex workers rights are basic human rights!)

We get deep into why sex work organising is so important, and how it is a truly feminist space that is more intersectional than any other. Chanelle tells us of the optimism she has for grassroots organising, and how everyone can get involved in sex work activism. We then move on to what sex work means to sex workers, and how the money it provides them with often gets them out of situations that the government wouldn’t. Chanelle explains how the very criminalisation of sex work creates unnecessary stigma around sex acts that doesn’t exist when it’s unpaid, and how that stigma is fed by larger systems of oppression at work. Chanelle tells us how sex is often a form of unpaid work that people perform as a service to men, and we theorise what sex worker rights would look like if rich white men were doing it.

We then get into the policing of sex workers, from the physical use of police forces during ‘anti-trafficking raids’ to the more subtle ways state power restricts sex workers’ rights. We touch briefly on OnlyFans, and how the activism and organisation surrounding the platform was largely focused on white and cisgender sex workers, and Chanelle explains how the same level of organisation can, and should, be easily applied to all sex workers, regardless of gender, race, and citizen status.

We end the episode by discussing whether sex itself can be liberating, and whether our sexuality defines us (essentially— can we fuck ourselves to freedom?).

We really hope you enjoy this episode, we’ve been really looking forward to you guys being able to hear it and to meeting Chanelle! Please sign up for Chanelle’s newsletter to hear more about the work that she does (www.chanellegallant.com), and go find your local or national sex worker rights organisation to fight for the decriminalisation and protection of sex workers, which you can do on https://nswp.org/. We would also highly recommend you read 'Pleasure Activism' (particularly Chanelle's chapter!) and check out Chanelle's 'Protest and Pleasure' series here: https://xtramagazine.com/series/protest-and-pleasure.

As always you can find more of us or reach out to us with any questions/ stories/ comments on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, email us on [email protected] & find all our episodes and resources on our website www.sextraspodcast.com.

Don’t forger to subscribe and leave us a review, and we’ll see you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode we talk about attraction and the way we experience it. There are different types of attraction, and different people experience attraction differently, so discuss why that might be and how we’ve reacted to our attraction.

To start, we asked how our listeners in a poll, ‘How are you attracted to people? Do you ten to like people straight away and develop crushes easily, or do you have to get to know someone first for that attraction to grow?’ Our followers were split down the middle, just like us. Some shared some of their attraction confusion, ‘if I get to know them its bad because I can make them a friend and that completely puts me off’, whilst some others thought that having a friendship that grows into attraction is most natural to them.

We then begin to map out the way we experience attraction. Honey describes her first relationship and how shared experiences and friendship grew into attraction, and how in her second relationship the attraction was also somewhat of a slow burner. In times when she’s been single, she barely experiences random attraction at all, unless confronted with it. Maria shares the opposite, she’s always crushing on someone, chasing someone, or with someone. (Classic anxious attachment)

We discuss how the way we experience attraction has impacted the way we approach making romantic or sexual connections. Maria is more active in her attraction, whilst Honey usually lets people come to her. (Probably because of our attachment styles) But that isn’t to say that we only experience one type of attraction and that’s that: we all make all kinds of connections with all kinds of people and sometimes that attraction could be physical attraction, or sexual attraction, whereas others it might be emotional attraction or romantic attraction.

We hope you are feeling attracted to our episode the episode! ;) You can watch this episode on our YouTube (Sextras Podcast) and find us on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, our website www.sextraspodcast.com or send us an email at [email protected]

Please don’t forget to leave us a review and share us with all your friends! We’ll see you next Tuesday.

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode we talk all about attachment styles from how to know your attachment style, to how attachment styles effect relationships, to some tips to change your attachment style. Obviously we are not experts, but we do know a fair bit about attachment styles from our own experience (plus we’ve done a lotttt of research).

We begin the episode by breaking down insecure attachment styles: Maria tells us about what an anxious attachment style is, and Honey tells us about what an avoidant attachment style is (hint: those are each of their attachment styles).We also cover the other two attachment styles: fearful avoidant and secure, before moving on to how these symptoms have manifested for us.

We attempt to give some tips for healing insecure attachment styles, which includes at the very least recognising the symptoms of your attachment style and trying to unlearn your triggers over time. Then, in case we hadn’t already convinced you just how important knowing your attachment style is, we explain how knowing our attachment styles have helped us.

We end the episode with some polls we did a while ago where we asked you guys whether you know your attachment style (we’d be surprised if, after listening to at least one other episode of our podcast, you didn’t) and if it’s helped you in any way.

Even though it can, at first, be overwhelming to learn your attachment style (one friend told us recently that she felt attacked after an attachment style quiz which ‘read her to filth’) it’s definitely important to understand how it can affect the way you form attachments with people, and even impact who you choose as a partner in future!

We hope you enjoy the episode, we have plenty more information on our social media about attachment styles. You can do the test for attachment style mentioned in the episode here:

https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/

May we all become securely attached!

You can find more of us on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, email us at [email protected] and visit our website www.sextraspodcast.com

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

From before puberty, before we grow our first armpit hair, leg hair, pubic hair, women are raised to understand that this should all be removed. This week we sit down to question why, to point to the ways in which we’ve been taught to have shame about our bodies and its hair, and really examine the ways in which these messages of control have impacted us.

We begin by hearing some of the messages our listeners heard about pubes and body hair growing up, (essentially to ‘shave’, that the hair is ‘bad and should be removed’ and that men don’t find it sexy). Some listeners even shared the ways in which these messages impacted them: causing them to question whether their body hair and pubes are bad, or desperately google how to clean shave ‘down there’, and live with razor burns and irritation and thus even more insecurities.

We then get more into our own experiences and memories of getting body hair. Maria shares how shaving was engrained as an expectation, and how she was shamed by male figures specifically if there was any body hair showing. We discuss how its interesting that now we can look at shaving as an option when a lot of the time it doesn’t really feel like a choice.

We continue to question society’s messages about shaving and ask whether it’s okay for a partner to express a preference on their partner’s pubic hair grooming, and whether it’s okay to ask your girlfriend to shave her pubes. Ultimately we conclude that it’s not, but pubes politics are complicated, as Maria hypocritically confesses she shaves for her boyfriend even though she doesn’t like shaving. Patriarchy 1, Maria 0.

We update everyone on our pube status (share how we personally groom our pubes) and we encourage you to share your pube status with us!

We hope you enjoy the episode! You can watch this episode on our YouTube (Sextras Podcast) and find us on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, our website www.sextraspodcast.com or send us an email at [email protected]

Please don’t forget to leave us a review and share us with all your friends! We’ll see you next Tuesday.

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.