Sextras

This week we’re talking to Dee about long term relationships. We went to school with Dee, and she’s been with her boyfriend for 11 years (since she was 15) so we ask her about the ins and outs of being in a long term relationship when young.

We begin by hearing how she and her boyfriend met, or how they began dating, and later how Dee realised that she was in love and in it for the long run. We then ask about the pressures of being in a long term relationship in your teenage years and early 20s, from dating long distance at university to seeing lots of couples around you break up, to the expectations from your peers to sleep around. Dee tells us what those milestones have looked like for her relationship in the long run, and how she’s responded to the pressures of her friends and family. She then tells a crazy story about how they once nearly broke up over chlamydia.

Naturally, both Dee and her boyfriend have changed over the course of time, so we hear how this has impacted their relationship and how they’ve managed to maintain their independence while also making time for one another. Lastly, we discuss the importance of sex in their relationship, before hearing some of Dee’s tips for a long term relationship. Ultimately, Dee tells us that the success to their long lasting relationship has been to take it day by day.

We hope you enjoy the episode! You can watch this episode on our YouTube (Sextras Podcast) and find us on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, our website www.sextraspodcast.com or send us an email at [email protected]

Please don’t forget to leave us a review and share us with all your friends! We’ll see you next Tuesday.

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode we get deep into developing a philosophy for fingering and handjobs. We attempt to unpack whether handjobs are something any penis-owning person enjoys, or thinks someone else can do better than them, and try to understand their place in sex as a whole.

We begin with some polls where we ask people with penises about their handjob preferences and people with vulvas about their fingering preferences (namely whether they prefer clitoral or penetrative fingering). Then, we move on to the different roles fingering and handjobs play in sex, and debate which is harder (ha) skill-wise for people to do. Finally, we give some tips for fingering and handjobs and foreplay as a whole.

We hope you enjoy this episode, we think it gives a rather accurate insight into what is going on in our brains, and attempting to establish an understanding of what penis-owning people are thinking.

You can find more of us on Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast, email us at [email protected] or visit our website www.sextraspodcast.com.

Don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode and leave us a review! It really helps us out. We’ll see you next Tuesday!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we’re talking all about the lessons learnt from breakups. When you’re going through a break up it can seem like it will never end, and you’ll most likely be in a place of thinking this is the most pain you’ve ever been in, but we promise once you get through that stage (and it will end!) you’ll be able to see all the things you learnt in both the relationship and the break up. We also cover what we think should happen in the aftermath of the break up, from whether you should follow the no contact rule, to if the person who breaks up with you owes you an apology.

We begin the episode with a segment where we hear the lessons you guys have learnt from a breakup, before telling you our own lessons. We try to explain how our experiences have been very different: Honey has exclusively broken up with people, and Maria has exclusively been broken up with, so we divulge the different ways we have reflected on the relationship after a break up, as well as attempting to unpack how we move through stages of grief in a breakup, like blaming the other person and then thinking you’ve made a mistake; trying to cling on to them and not wanting to move on.

We then discuss the conversations you have, and what not to do after a break up— such as whether or not to text your ex or if you should stay friends with an ex. We have a couple of other episodes about break ups— ‘Can You Be Friends With An Ex?’ & ‘The Break Up Process’— where we get more into these topics, but we wanted to talk a bit more about the idea of what is owed, or what some people think is owed to them, when one person ends the relationship, the idea of blame and self reflection in attempts to learn something about yourself after a relationship ends.

We hope you enjoyed the episode! If you’re going through a break up, you can do this! You’ll eventually reach a stage of realising there is so much to take from a relationship, and we hope some of our tips help. If you’d like to get in contact with us or find more of us, you can find us on:

Instagram and Facebook @sextraspodcast

Email: [email protected]

www.sextraspodcast.com

We’ll see you next Tuesday!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we’re joined by journalist, and author of the memoir ‘Open,’ Rachel Krantz to talk all about open relationships, toxic relationships, bisexuality and jealousy.

We begin the episode by hearing what inspired Rachel’s book— she was dating a non monogamous man, who gave her the freedom to explore an open relationship and who her relationship with later became toxic.

We then move on to learning about the different types of open relationship- from having a primary partner to practicing relationship anarchy. Rachel tells us about how she dealt with jealousy in her first non monogamous relationship, as well as giving us some tips for how to start a non monogamous relationship if you’re new to the world of polyamory, and some things monogamous people can take from polyamorous relationships even if they’re not looking to get into one. We end the episode with asking Rachel about her bisexuality and how that interacts with her polyamory.

Thank you so much to Rachel for joining us this week, we had a truly informative conversation and we hope you all enjoy it too! Please buy Rachel’s book ‘Open’ and go follow her on Instagram or Twitter.

You can follow us on Instagram @sextraspodcast, Facebook at Sextras Podcast, email us at [email protected] or find us on our website www.sextraspodcast.com.

Thanks and we’ll see you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What do you think about when you masturbate? This week we’re talking all about watching porn and masturbating, or alternatively, imagining our sexual fantasies when we masturbate, as well as the ethics of watching porn.

We begin the episode by asking our followers what they think about or watch when they masturbate, and if they remember the first time they masturbated. In true Sextras fashion, we look back at how our ideas about masturbating and porn were formed, from the first time we saw porn (whether by accident or on purpose) to not realising what we were doing was masturbating at a young age.

We delve into our own sexual fantasies and whether watching porn and masturbating sets unrealistic expectations for sex. We also talk about whether we personally enjoy watching porn, and what our problems with porn are. Unfortunately, as women, we have experienced guys basing their sexual fantasies around what they’ve seen in porn and attempting to recreate that, and so we try to unpack if porn is bad for our sex lives or not.

We all have sexual fantasies, and it’s important to let them play out and have fun sex lives, but at the same time we need to be really mindful of whether or not porn is bad for relationships with those we have sex with and with women, or anyone who’s negatively impacted by how they’re portrayed in porn, in the world around us.

Please go check out our social media, we have tons more content on there that you might find interesting! You can find us on Instagram @sextraspodcast, Facebook Sextras Podcast or on our website www.sextraspodcast.com. Send us an email at [email protected], and leave us a review wherever you’re listening. We look forward to seeing you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we’re talking to our wonderful guest Sayra Player (Founder of Guided By Glow; actor; and writer) all about sexual meditation.

For women, it can be difficult to find erotic content that turns you on, especially if you have a busy mind. Sayra founded Guided By Glow in an attempt to encourage women and couples to have mindful sex practices.

In this episode, we ask what sexual meditation is, before diving into how meditation is so powerful for our lives as a whole, but particularly for our sex lives, when we can get stuck in routines or find it hard to be present during sex.

Sayra then tells us a bit about how sexual power can be a tool for transformation in our wider lives, and how sexual meditation can really help with this.

Sayra has very generously given Sextras listeners $20 off a years’ membership to Guided By Glow, making it $27.99 for a year of unlimited guided masturbations. Find it on the App Store or on https://guidedbyglow.com/

Get all the benefits of masturbation and meditation at once, and increase your sexual power at the same time! Even if you, like Maria, might be sceptical about meditation, it’s worth giving it a go.

Thank you so much for listening. You can find more content about sex, dating and self love, or contact us via

Instagram: @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

www.sextraspodcast.com

[email protected]

Don’t forget to subscribe and we’ll see you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we ask ourselves ‘should you date in your 20s?’ For some, getting deeper into our 20s means getting further into our long term relationships, and for others being single. We discuss whether there’s really a right way to live your twenties: single or dating.

We begin the episode with a segment where we ask our followers whether they care more about freedom or finding love in their 20s; whether they’d rather meet the person they’re going to end up with now or live out the rest of their 20s single; and hear more of their thoughts about this dilemma.

We decide that there isn’t really an answer to this question, but we wanted to examine it more closely because so many people our age feel like they shouldn’t date in their 20s to fulfil an idea that is sold to us of what our 20s should look like; indeed many people end relationships for this very reason: they feel as if dating in your 20s is pointless if you’re unlikely to end up with the person, and that you might as well embrace your freedom.

Navigating dating in your 20s can be difficult, but we think that in the end, it comes down to whether you think you should date for fun, or for experience, rather than for the end result. As long as you’re happier in a situation than you are on the flip side, you should stick with it, and it might ultimately be good for you to make some dating mistakes in your 20s.

We wish you all the best of luck! We know dating in your 20s isn’t always the most fun, especially when you have to begin to consider whether you’re ready to commit to the person you’ve been dating throughout uni going in to the real world, but we’re always here if you need any tips or at least want to make yourselves feel better by hearing about our mistakes and poor judgement.

If you enjoyed the episode, or if it resonated with you in some way, we’d love to hear from you. You can contact us (and find more content) on Instagram @sextraspodcast; Sextras Podcast on Facebook, YouTube and Geneva; www.sextraspodcast.com or email us at [email protected]. Leave us a rating/review and we’ll see you next week!!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Can you escape the male gaze, even if you try? This week we discuss the dynamics of dressing for the male gaze, or attempting not to, and how it’s difficult to not dress for the male gaze, particularly when you’re dating men but also if you want to look or feel attractive at all. We touch on why the male gaze is harmful, beauty standards and how the male gaze has been repackaged through social media.

We begin the episode with discussing terms we use to describe our appearance, unpacking the differences within them and how these are a product of the male gaze and our internalised male gaze as women. We then move on to a segment where we ask our listeners what they want to wear when they want to look sexy, to get an idea of what we’re calling the ‘sexy consensus’ (ie. what everyone’s shared idea of ‘sexy’ clothing is), which unsurprisingly involves a lot of black, red, and underwear.

Then we give our own personal feelings about dressing for the male gaze, and what we wear when we want to look ‘sexy’ or ‘attractive.’ We grapple with the idea that we might never be able to escape the male gaze, and that denying the fact that everything we do is in some ways a product of, or scrutinised by, the male gaze in society. We also try to dive into the concept of ‘the main character’ and ‘romanticising your life’ to explain why these concepts might be a little bit problematic when we think about the male gaze and how women, under it, constantly picture themselves and what they’re doing by how it might appear to others.

Ultimately, we don’t have an answer about how to deal with the male gaze, or how to escape it, but we think having some awareness of how we describe beauty and how we ourselves interact with the gaze when getting dressed, particularly for dates, is important.

We also want to acknowledge that we can only give our own experiences with the male gaze, and often when we talk about beauty standards it is within a white and heteronormative framework, which we know brings us an enormous amount of privilege. If you have any personal experience or opinions on the male gaze and how it affects you, we would love to hear about it, however similar or different to our own experience.

You can contact us and find more content on our Instagram @sextrapodcast, Facebook (Sextras Podcast, website: www.sextraspodcast.com, or email us on [email protected]. Please subscribe and leave us a rating wherever you listen to podcasts, we’ll see you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we’re joined by our lovely friend Amelia, to discuss body confidence and dating.

We begin the episode with a segment where we hear something our listeners like about their body, to get us into the mood of body positivity. Then, Amelia tells us about her experience of dating as a plus sized woman and dealing with body confidence. She explains that bigger women can sometimes be fetishised when dating, and that her body confidence issues in the past have come from dating people who haven’t appreciated her body or treated her kindly. This happened in one past relationship in particular, which we touch on, before hearing a bit about how Amelia has come to accept her body and celebrate it. She tells us how dating women has helped a lot with her body image, as she can see how features she has disliked on herself are attractive on someone else, which is affirming.

We hope you enjoy the episode!

You can find more of Amelia on Instagram @meels0nwhee1s, and more of us on Instagram @sextraspodcast, Facebook at Sextras Podcast, our website www.sextraspodcast.com or email us at [email protected]. Please send us your artwork, writing or sexy confessions, and don’t forget to subscribe. We’ll see you next Tuesday!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy New Year Sextras babies!!! We hope you had the most wonderful holiday celebrating with all your loved ones and wish you a wonderful 2022!

We thought we’d do another New Year’s episode, continuing the tradition from our episode ‘Let’s Keep Trying In 2021’ last year, to reflect on everything we achieved in 2021 and what our goals are for the new year. We all had a tough year in 2021, so here’s to a better 2022, to being kinder to ourselves and spending more time with our loved ones.

We begin the episode with a segment where we ask our listeners ‘What are your resolutions for the new year?’ before reflecting on the new year and what it brings, plus what we did last year. We then move on to our resolutions for the new year and set ourselves sex, dating, and self care goals and challenges for 2022.

A lot can happen in a year, so we encourage you all to set goals for your own dating and sex lives (and other aspects of your life, too!) so you can hold yourself accountable and live your life to the fullest in 2022.

Please don’t be shy about sending us your resolutions for 2022, or anything creative you’ve done that we think we might like and can feature on the website (this can include writing, drawings, songs, or anything you like). You can get in touch with us and find more of us at www.sextraspodcast.com, on Instagram @sextraspodcast, Facebook at Sextras Podcast or email us at [email protected].

Thank you to Manscaped for sponsoring this episode. Get 20% @manscaped + Free Shipping with promo code SEXTRAS20 at MANSCAPED.com! #ad #manscapedpod

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.