Sextras

This week we speak to our wonderful guest Kabir about their experience with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and how BPD affects relationships. We also discuss being queer, how this relates to having BPD and what their experience was like growing up.

We begin by hearing how BPD affects Kabir’s daily life, and what BPD feels like, before getting into how Kabir’s relationships have been formulated and impacted by having BPD and being queer. We hear a little bit about what dating with BPD has looked like for Kabir, and they tell us that casual dating with BPD can be difficult, and how embracing their queerness has been instrumental in learning to know and love themself for who they truly are.

Growing up with any type of mental illness or personality disorder can be difficult, and it can be made more difficult when you’re very visibly queer, especially as a brown person in a predominantly white, straight, and rich circle of West London. Kabir tells us about how their embodiment of queerness growing up was somewhat protective, and how this impacted their relationships with those around them. Ultimately, though, we agree that being queer is more empowering than anything else, and we wouldn’t have it any other way, before ending by hearing what Kabir wants their relationships to look like going forwards.

Thank you so much to Kabir for being our first guest in our studio, and for sharing your story. It was a pleasure to have you.

You can listen to them on Back From The Borderline here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/gender-identity-sexuality-abusive-parents-with-no/id1576242501?i=1000533250805

or find them on Instagram @kabir_khurana,

and as always you can find more of us on

Instagram @sextraspodcast,

Facebook at Sextras Podcast,

at www.sextraspodcast.com and

on YouTube at Sextras Podcast.

We can’t wait to see you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we discuss everything related to age difference when dating, wondering if it’s ok to date someone older than you and establishing a rule about dating age differences at the end.

We begin the episode by hearing how much older and younger our listeners would go when dating, and read out some moments where you’ve really noticed the age difference in your relationships.

Then we move on to discussing our own experiences with dating people different ages to us- we discuss how young and old we’d date and sleep with. Young girls in particular often want to date someone older than them, for reasons which we discuss, but there are a lot of issues that can arise from dating someone older, so we ask when it is ok to date someone older and how to stop young people wanting to date someone older, plus how to recognise when older people’s motives are wrong in wanting to date them.

We hope you enjoy the episode. Stay safe and remember if someone much older wants to date you, it might be a little bit weird!!

You can find more of us on Instagram @sextraspodcast, Facebook (Sextras Podcast), and our website www.sextraspodcast.com. You can email us on [email protected].

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode we talk all about how to deal with STIs, from what to do if you get an STI, to how to treat them, to how to reduce STI stigma, to living with herpes.

We begin the episode by discussing some polls about whether our followers think that STIs are a big deal, and the ways they protect themselves against STIs. Although many of you said you 'do your best' to protect against STIs, it seems as though people aren't getting tested as often as they should or having completely safe sex (which we get, we've been there!) but we think it's important to talk about STI prevention.

We then move on to talking about our own experiences with STIs, from having chlamydia when we were 18 to Honey's living with herpes tips. We cover how to get tested for STIs (at least here in the UK) and how often, the emotional impacts of an STI diagnosis and how to tell someone you have herpes.

Finally we look at STIs and the stigma around them and how little we truly learn about them in sex education. We explain how ultimately STIs aren't a big deal- they're just like any other infection and they're a natural part of sex.

Go get tested, educate yourself and help reduce stigma around STIs!

If you want to learn more about the different types of STIs, their symptoms and treatment, we have more information on all of this on our Instagram, where Honey also talks about her herpes diagnoses.

You can find us on:

Instagram @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Email [email protected]

www.sextraspodcast.com

Don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review, and we'll see you next Tuesday! Byeeeee

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

1:10-18:00 Segment: Your worst dating app stories

18:15 Which apps we've used-- what dating apps are there? Different dating apps explained

38:40 How to use dating apps well, how to improve dating app profile

47:00 Starting conversations on dating apps, good opening lines on dating apps + good questions to ask.

Welcome back to season 2 of Sextras! We're so excited to be back and can't wait for you to hear the episodes we have coming your way.

This week we're talk all about dating apps. We've both been doing some market research over the summer, and boy oh boy do we have some very strong opinions on how to use dating apps well and what not to do on dating apps. Listen in if you're just starting to use the apps and wondering how to approach dating apps, or if you're a seasoned user and wondering how to get better at dating apps.

We begin the episode with a segment—how we've missed hearing all of your submissions :') — where we hear your worst dating app date stories, from being blocked by someone because of your star sign to having absolutely nothing to talk about on a date.

We then delve into why we've used dating apps, and which ones we've used. We break down the purpose of dating apps, going through Hinge, Tinder, feeld, Bumble, and Positive Singles and discuss the positives of these dating apps, before launching into a very long debate about what to put on a dating app profile. Unsurprisingly, we've seen some absolutely shocking examples of dating app profiles over the years, and so we explain that we don't want to see any pictures of you at the gym, and that the key to a dating app profile is variety and showing some character.

We then switch to how to make conversations on dating apps, which can be really hard. If you've ever used a dating app we're sure you know how many people just message you 'hey,' and you exchange a few messages backwards and forwards before the conversation fizzles out. We try to cover what you should say in first messages on dating apps, and when the best time is to ask someone out.

We promise that, even though dating apps suck sometimes, there are some positives, and just like dating if you hack the formula for how to use them and making a good profile you can have a good time. It's all about your approach to dating, apps are just a way to facilitate these interactions.

Go forth, create your dating app profile, and thrive!

If you enjoy Sextras please don't forget to subscribe so you never miss and episode, and if you're feeling extra generous leave us a review and share the pod on your social media!

You can find more of us on Instagram (@sextraspodcast), Facebook (Sextras Podcast), www.sextraspodcast.com or email us at [email protected]

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

!!! WE WILL BE BACK ON 7TH DECEMBER FOR SEASON 2 !!! But for now, enjoy a little bit of bonus content to catch up with us and what we've been up to in our sex and dating lives over the summer (and autumn!).

After hyping up hot girl summer so much at the end of season 1, we had veryyy different experiences: Maria ticked a few things off her sexual bucket list before being launched into a (short) long distance relationship with her boyfriend, whereas Honey spent most of the summer recharging and trying to accept her herpes diagnosis before fully re entering her sex life at the end of the summer. Luckily, she did have a few sexual encounters (so has a few updates), and has been getting back into dating apps, and even a mindful masturbation app which she recommends to Maria. Sometimes it's important to have a sexy summer with your boyfriend, and other times it's important to acknowledge how you're feeling and recharge an intense year or two.

Listen in to hear a few teasers for upcoming episodes and to be up to date with everything we've been up to in the run up to season 2.

Most importantly, don't forget to subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts and to our YouTube channel (Sextras Podcast), where we'll be releasing the full video footage to each episode in season 2.

You can also find us to catch us up on your summer, confess a sexy secret or get involved in all the extra content and segment prompts for season 2 on:

Instagram @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Email: [email protected]

www.sextraspodcast.com

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

ALL NEW EPISODES COMING FROM 7TH DECEMBER

We're back, and with more exciting stuff than ever! We've been away putting together a studio and figuring out how to record video so you can see our lovely faces here on Youtube, as well as planning really exciting episodes. Last season we covered a lot, from friends with benefits to long distance relationships, to how to find out what gives you pleasure, and in season 2 we are going to keep expanding on these, plus coming in with all new topics. Stay tuned for episodes about attachment styles, how to be better lgbtq ally, dating with an age difference and many many many more! If you're a person that is interested in having open and honest conversations, listen in to our already existing 54 episodes, and stay tuned for brand new ones coming from the 7th December.

In the meantime, you can find us:

Instagram - @sextraspodcast

Facebook - Sextras Podcast

Website - www.sextraspodcast.com

Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original Music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For the last time this season, and thus the last time for a while, we get together to talk about what's going on in our sex life and our relationships, and reflect on the ways the podcast has impacted us and our lives.

We open with an introduction detailing the cruel reality of what it means to run a podcast sometimes: a LOT of technical difficulties. This season finale seemed like a perfect opportunity to give our listeners some behind the scenes of podcasting. Or at least our experience, of what it is like to start a podcast in the last year of university. People always ask us, how much does podcasting cost? Or how hard is podcasting? How much work is podcasting? So we addressed some of the misconceptions of podcasting, as well as outlining how much work actually goes into a podcast.

We begin our episode of reflection by breaking down our expectations when coming into starting a podcast, in contrast to how we feel about it now. As well as reminiscing about where we were at the start of the pandemic and the podcast, in terms of our sex lives and our relationships, and comparing it to where we are now. We spend a lot of the episode reflecting upon our views about love and how they have changed. We're looking back with love, as we've realised that self reflection and growth go hand in hand. In order to keep progressing and to form our identities and find out who we want to be, we have to have self reflection and self awareness. We are not offering a 'self reflection, how to', but in looking back to where we started, and looking back fondly and inquisitively will allow us to keep learning.

Throughout our time doing the podcast, we haven't only grown ourselves, but the relationships to the people around us have strengthened too. We have learnt so much about how to open up in conversations, how to start up conversations, about sex and relationships, and all the intimate details that arise from those conversations, not only with strangers, but also with our friends and family, in particular our mums. Having so many guests, and opening up week after week about ourselves and our relationships provided us with plenty of examples of open conversations to then give us a guideline on how to start difficult conversations with our families and loved ones. Opening up is hard, and we are still working on it, but working on the podcast had provided a lot of clarity and practise in dealing with difficult conversations.

It truly is the end of an era for us, we finish university and are about to enter the real world, we completed a full year of weekly episodes and are concluding the first season of a podcast we love! We are truly so grateful to all our amazing guests for opening up to us and educating us, to our beautiful friends for supporting us, to our parents for believing in us and being forever open minded, and to our listeners, for all their submissions and for making all of this so much more valuable.

Go forth into this hot girl summer and have nothing but fun, we'll see you next season!

In the meantime, find us on our website or social media:

Instagram: @sextraspodcast

Facebook: Sextras Podcast

Website: www.sextraspodcast.com

Don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts if you enjoyed!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you suffer from anxiety? This week we're joined by our lovely friend, and psychology student, Azura to talk all about how to deal with anxiety in relationships and being non binary.

We begin the episode with a segment where we hear some of our listeners' insecurities in their relationships; how they broke their mental health to their significant others in relationships and how partners have helped them manage their mental health in relationships. We also did a segment to see how many people experience mental illness or mental health problems (81%) and whether they'd prefer to date someone who has similar experiences or not.

Azura then tells us a bit about the differences between feeling nervous and having an anxiety disorder and why it can be important to distinguish between the two. They then tell us about their own relationships and tips for how they have encouraged her romantic partners to understand their anxiety in relationships, as well as what their current boyfriend has done to help them cope with anxiety while dating. We then move on to discussing how their gender has been a cause of anxiety in the past, before realising they identify as non binary, and how outwardly presenting yourself in a way that matches your inner feelings can really benefit your mental health.

We hope you enjoy the episode! You can find Azura on Instagram @stdyio and you can find more of us on Instagram @sextraspodcast, Facebook on Sextras Podcast, our website www.sextraspodcast.com or email us at [email protected]. Don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts if you enjoyed!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ready to get back out there? So are we! It's been a long year filled with lockdown and endless covid-19 restrictions and we are well and truly ready for hot girl summer, especially now that we've graduated. This week we talk all about getting back out there after a breakup, or even just putting yourself out there after lockdown and lack of dating practice.

We begin the episode with a poll where we ask if people struggle to put themselves out there- to which 54% of people said yes and 46% of people said no. We then asked for some tips to put yourself out there and to have dating confidence, which is something we all need a boost of. We end the segment by hearing people's hot girl summer plans and telling you our own.

The positive thing about the world opening up, even though so many of us lack dating confidence, is that we're all in the same position, and we can all build up our confidence and put ourselves out there together. We discuss what has held us back from putting ourselves out there in the past and discuss what we can do to meet more people to date, or to attract the right kinds of people.

Gone are the days of low standards or wasting our time with people who are, quite frankly, not good enough for us. It's hot girl summer baby! Anything is possible, and boy oh boy are we going to spend the summer learning to date and be confident again. It's time to get back out there, for all of us, so let's go for it!

We hope you enjoy the episode, if you're both excited and afraid to get back out there we're right there with you. Don't forget to subscribe, leave us a review, and you can find more of us on Instagram @sextraspodcast; Facebook at Sextras Podcast, on our website www.sextraspodcast.com, and we'll see you next week!!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode we're talking all about foreplay! In light of Honey recently being single and noticing the amount of men on Tinder who claim that they 'don't do foreplay' in their bios, we thought this was a much needed episode to emphasis the fact that foreplay is very important. Listen in for foreplay tips and ideas for both people with vaginas and penises (ie. actually doing foreplay at all!!)

We begin the episode with a poll where we asked men and people with penises whether they 'need' foreplay (86% said yes, to our surprise) and 97% of women or people with vaginas said they needed foreplay (not surprising in the least). We also asked what foreplay means to our followers, from touching and kissing to oral sex, to licking and sucking to penis to penis; as well as hear some stories of weird and sometimes horrific foreplay techniques. You can find these segments on our Instagram stories if you want to get involved!

We also talk about what foreplay means, whether it is a part of sex or can be separated from it, and determine that ultimately foreplay is extremely necessary for most people, both those with penises and vaginas. There is a misconception that foreplay isn't important for men, perhaps because they often don't engage in foreplay, but we think that foreplay shouldn't be skipped, and actually that it can take a lot of pressure out of sex. Porn has given us the idea that people are ready to start sex whenever, but actually a lot of pleasure comes from foreplay and good sex can't really happen without it.

We hope you enjoy the episode! Don't skip foreplay, we promise it will make your sex life so much better. For more foreplay tips listen to the episode we did with Kinky called 'How to Have Better Sex' where she gives some oral sex tips. If you're enjoying Sextras please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser or share! You can find more of us on Instagram @sextraspodcast, Facebook at Sextras Podcast, on our website www.sextraspodcast.com or email us at [email protected]. We'll see you next week!

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.