Sexy Beasts

On today’s Sexy Beasts we are discussing the Tatzlewurm! The cat-faced serpent that slithers its way around the Alps. Jago gets confused about measurement and Tony gets sexually frustrated. We both grow as people and discover that the true treasure was friendship all along.

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Artwork by @aaislingor

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Dogs are a man's best friend! They cheer you up when you are sad, they bring you the morning paper and they foretell the tragic moment of your imminent demise. Well, the last part is not all dogs it’s just this week's sexy beast. The BLACK SHUCK! So paws what you're doing and join us as we discuss if its bark is worse than its bite. Hold on tight it gets a little ruff. Expect a little friction as Tony and Jago do it doggy style.

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Artwork by @aaislingor

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You are a farmer in ancient Persia, you have survived the Greco-Persian wars, you’ve survived famine, disease and cruel, rich Kings. You come home after a long hard day in your field, exhausted, a broken man. You go to fetch water from a well and you suddenly hear a growl from a nearby bush. Out steps a bloody lion with a scorpion stinger and monkey hands. You are screwed - there is no escape. You get stung and are partially eaten while the monkey hands are giving you the finger. You’ve been attacked by a Manticore. You really can’t catch a break can you!?

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Artwork by @aaislingor

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Everything’s better when you are wetter under the sea! Today on Sexy Beasts we delve deep into the abyss of human attraction and ask the hard questions. If you had to have sex with a mermaid would you want a top half fish or bottom half fish? Mermaids have been the folly of many lonely sailors and seamen. How annoyed would you be if you jumped off a boat to kiss a mermaid and it turned out to be a manatee? Sickener! Anyway here’s the podcast...

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Which cryptid will appear on the next episode of Sexy Beasts? Check them out on Instagram or Twitter to figure out the Mystery Image!

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Artwork by @aaislingor

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It’s that time of year again when the fabric between realms is at its thinnest and all manner of ghosts, ghouls and beasts can reach out and touch us! To honour this we decided to cover the spookiest beast we know. Welcome to the family, The Vampire! Hope you don’t suck. Try to B positive. There is a lot at stake. Fangs for the memories. Don’t drive us batty. Don’t be a pain in the neck, SIRI give me some vampire puns no don’t type that Siri stop listening alright now where’s my green tea, ah there it is, god this is disgusting.

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Which cryptid will appear on the next episode of Sexy Beasts? Check them out on Instagram or Twitter to figure out the Mystery Image!

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Artwork by @aaislingor

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Sexy Beasts went live at the Dublin Podcast Festival on Sunday 14th of October talking about the grandfather of all cryptids - Bigfoot!

There were laughs, there were tears and there was an above average amount of genital jokes. Bigfoot is the most recognised and widely respected cryptid. 

For the true live show experience down four pints, squeeze between two people in a super hot room and get asked for a spare rollie every 30 mins. Thanks to all who came!

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Which cryptid will appear on the next episode of Sexy Beasts? Check them out on Instagram or Twitter to figure out the Mystery Image!

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Artwork by @aaislingor

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If you ever find yourself in the densely forested island of Java, take a look upward for you may see a shape gliding above the canopy. 

A bat? An owl? Elon musk on a mad rocket yoke? 

Or is it an AHOOL? The man-bat creature that terrorises the locals and makes wimps of the bravest adventurers. The name is pretty fun to sing too. Go on try it. Loud and clear. Lovely 😊

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Which cryptid will appear on the next episode of Sexy Beasts? Check them out on Instagram or Twitter to figure out the Mystery Image!

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Artwork by @aaislingor

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EL Cuero resides in the lakes of South America around the Andes. This slimy fetid beast stalks the shore line engulfing its prey and sucking the very life essence out of them. Surely this is a horrific way to perish. And if that bums you out too much there are super wicked guitar solos in this episode!

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Which cryptid will appear on the next episode of Sexy Beasts? Check them out on Instagram or Twitter to figure out the Mystery Image!

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Artwork by @aaislingor

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If you had to combine two animals together which would you choose? Wolf and a shark? Boring. Snake and an eagle? Yawn! Ant and an elephant? 

Think bigger! 

Rabbit and an antelope? BINGO! 

Now that I’ve got your attention, what if I told you it exists? 

Welcome to the JACKALOPE. For more information send 5 euros to Sexy Beasts Mansions, Butt street, Lusk, Co. Dublin.

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Which cryptid will appear on the next episode of Sexy Beasts? Check them out on Instagram or Twitter to figure out the Mystery Image!

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Artwork by @aaislingor

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Hey, don’t be so Les Miserable as we prance down to the Moulin Rouge and get an Eiffel Tower in our pantaloons. In case you haven’t guessed it we are in France this week discussing a horrid creature that terrorised the countryside in the 18th century. So put down that Brie cheese and Mona Lisa As we say Bienvenue To the Beast of Gévaudan (sp)

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Which cryptid will appear on the next episode of Sexy Beasts? Check them out on Instagram or Twitter to figure out the Mystery Image!

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Artwork by @aaislingor

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