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Lara and Carey head back to the beginning... of time! Introducing Sexy Unique Bible Study. Starting with Book of Genesis (PART I), God gets off his ass and works hard over the course of six days, which he will consequently use against us all for eternity. Things get messy from the get-go, of course... from Adam and Eve getting kicked out of the Garden of Eden, to Cain and Abel's Menendez Brothers turn, to Noah's apocalypse psychosis, to Abraham's covenant, Sarah, Hagar and the earliest instance of men pitting women against each other and more. It's a whole lot of fckery. But Larz and Carz are here to interpret it as best they can. It's time to get Old Testament.

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Lara and Carey are back in the Old Testament to discuss a favorite of contemporary nut-bags everywhere: the Book of Leviticus. But first, they discuss “Conclave,” the male urge to wear a dress and claim divinity, nuns with an agenda, and more papal divas.

In “Leviticus,” all the world’s a burnt offering, and God gets painfully specific with Moses and his favorite muse Aaron on the best ways the Israelites can atone; slaughtering rams, pigeons, blood sprinklers and good old fashioned financial planning, to name a few. The litany of sins are plentiful, from women’s monthly visits to men lying with other men, from bodily discharge to food falling on the ground. It’s fair game for God’s increasingly disregulated wrath.

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In our final installment of Ocean Omelettes, Carey and Lara head back behind the Orange Curtain one last time in 2024. But first, they discuss the already iconic “Wicked” interview starring Cynthia, Ariana and a Queer Media Journalist holding space. They also talk Ellen DeGeneres fleeing to the UK with a new disguise and Kim K’s utterly apocalyptic sexy photo shoot with the new Tesla robot. 

In a three-episode RHOC reunion, the ladies assemble to discuss Tamra’s trifling ways, the multiple mysteries of Katie Ginella, Travis’s ginormous balls, Jenn sinking further into off shore shenanigans with Ryan, Jenn explaining the law to noted attorney Emily, Heather’s war with Kylie and TikTokGate, Shannon versus Alexis versus the world, and more. Plus, an eleventh hour bombshell about the night of Shannon’s DUI may just have the power to unite this fractured group, once and for all. 

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Lara and Carey are back for RHOSLC but first they discuss Jake Paul and Mike Tyson’s big Netflix boxing match, why boxing exists at all, the new IRA show “Say Nothing” on FX, North Korea’s harrowing sonic weapon terrorizing South Korea, Katie Maloney making it Insta-official with her emo boyfriend, and Rachel Leviss quitting podcasting and dating a literal rocket scientist. Plus, Carey makes a big announcement.

Back in Utah, the ladies reel from their desert meltdown. Heather and Lisa meet at Kemo Sabe for turquoise jewelry and spicy margaritas, Bronwyn gets lectured by Todd, and Hengie K and her dad discuss her late mother. Then Mary has the ladies over for a Audrey Hepburn-themed breakfast with a dress code that’s only loosely followed. Meredith debuts her fake octopus bangs while Heather and Bronwyn duke it out again. Meredith and Hengie continue to argue over LGBT things and Wild Rose makes a shocking interception. But it’s Britani who steals the moment with her thoroughly modern camp and gravity-bending bids for attention.

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Lara and Carey are back behind the paywall for a regular ol' bonus episode. They discuss the spectacular November vibes in California, the Autozone fire in Hollywood this weekend and LA's love affair with a casual plume of smoke. Lara reveals her shocking breakup with Splenda and Carey considers eventually quitting smoking (again). They also discuss Guru Jagat in depth, Argento movies, a Canadian family falling victim to an Eras Tour ticket scam, Extreme Couponing and stockpiling in suburbia, jelly bean shame, Dune Prophecy and more.

TICKETS TO OUR CHICAGO AND NYC CHRISTMAS SHOWS HERE!

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Lara and Carey are back to recap the season finale of Real Housewives of Orange County, but first they discuss the transcendent new Netflix doc about Martha Stewart, the saga of Guru Jagat, consummate rat James Comey and the Axis of Haters trying to keep SheEOs down.

Behind the Orange Curtain, the ladies assemble for cursed Bravo activity ax throwing and Jenn reveals her surprise engagement to Ryan in the Bahamas. A smattering of children b-plots (zZzZzZ) reveals Sophia is the Lana del Rey of Newport Beach. Then at Jenn's "tacky bridesmaids" engagement party planned by Katie and Lexi(!), the ladies + Vooki face off post-London; Katie gags Heather once and for all, Tamra gives a non-apology to Jenn, and Shannon gets her Aunt Sassy pants in a twist when Johnny J arrives at the party.

In the epilogue, Ryan's business partner is arrested for wire fraud, casting a shadow on Jenn's upcoming marital bliss.

***We will be back next week with a THREE part reunion recap!

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Lara and Carey reunite in the studio post-Lara’s Italian adventure and Carey’s LASIK extravaganza. They discuss the worthwhile body horror of corrective eye surgery, Lara’s surprisingly soft reentry into LA, her odyssey to find a women’s size 42 slouchy boot and her newfound fashion plug in Milan. They also discuss the second Congressional hearing on UAPs and the existential gaggery they continue to provide.

Back on RHOSLC, a Heather-less episode finds us in good spirits, but the ladies are far from serene in Palm Springs. Lisa and Bronwyn continue to spar poolside as Todd gives the Barlows an ultimatum: play nice or get out. An anniversary dinner for Bron and Grandpa-Husband sees the crew mingling with randos before a mariachi band, gawking at Bronwyn’s $4 million diamond necklace and playing an extra cheeky round of Hengie K’s “Newlywed” game. But the trip turns south when Seth bulldozes the Wild Rose with an uncanny dig and Sean and Meredith re-litigate their LGBTQ drama.

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Lara and Carey are back with another trip down Old Testament lane, this time venturing into the dour and c*nty splendor of the Book of Exodus. First they discuss the LDS Church buying up farmland as Climate Change looms; Larz and Carz each pitch themselves for a spot on a hypothetical, post-apocalyptic commune.

Back on The Bible, Exodus begins with Moses thwarting death after being discovered by Pharaoh's daughter, floating in an escape basket on the Nile River. Moses, quasi-adopted by the Egyptian royal family, is raised with virtually no knowledge of the suffering his true people endure. But as he reaches adulthood, one unplanned murder of an Egyptian guard sends Moses fleeing into the desert, where he marries and is eventually visited by God in his drag persona (a burning bush). The Almighty demands a reluctant Moses return to Egypt, arming Mo' with a supernatural shock and awe campaign to bring Pharaoh to his knees, lead the Israelites out of slavery and into the Promised Land, and transcribe the Ten Commandments -- plus some of God's psycho gay interior design plans.

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Star of stage, screen, and radio waves John Arthur Hill fills in for Carey as the studio's inaugural guest host! John and Lara discuss furry stowaways on Spirit Airlines, the dark underbelly of dentistry, and a TikToker getting "ran through" by 101 guys in one day.

Back on RHOC, Jenn continues to rage against Tamra in Londontown. Not surprisingly Tamra deflects, and eventually the ladies end up discussing the rumors about Gina going full The Staircase on Travis. Larz and John also break down the b-plot lines no one asked for: kids getting involved in mom drama and Shannon’s anxiety-fueled constipation. 

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This week Lara records remotely while on Roman Holiday with special guest & travel companion, Michelle Collins. The two gals recap their ultimate Italian girls trip with tales of handbag returns, Martha Stewart sweaters, photo booths, sexy pharmacists, bird sh*t, salty bore meat and much much more. 

Then on RHOSLC, the ladies head to Palm Springs via PJ for Todd and Bronwyn’s Anniversary. The vibe is awkward as Bronwyn is fighting with Heather, Lisa is avoiding Bronwyn and no one seems happy to be there. One thing for sure is that Todd has had a f*cking nough and intends to bring a machete to a nerf gun fight - whatever that means. The episode ends with a “To Be Continued” cliff hanger after Todd tells John that if Lisa doesn’t cool it, they’ll need to pack their bags and go - good luck with that, Todd! Everyone knows you do not poke a Barlow in the zoo.

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