Coffee - The Nectar Of The Gods. #short #podcast #humor #funny #funnypodcast #coffee #morningcoffee #coffeeadict #espresso #coffeeinaction #latte

Coffee, the nectar of the gods. Without it, the world would have ended. If you don't have coffee every morning, you're probably a terrible person or you're just a baby. It's good to know the coffee was discovered by a goat herder in Egypt. America drinks the most coffee with an average of 88.8 gallons per year per person. If you drink too much coffee today, you become irritable and a giant aihole, so drink less Karen. Coffee has a very special connection to all types of people. Even in music, it has a very special connection Eric Clapton both are better without cream. You should also know the difference between coffee and your own opinion. Most people will only ask for coffee. There's really only two types of people in this world as well. Those that love coffee, and liars you should know how a coffee snob takes their coffee. Seriously, very seriously. Even IT people love coffee. They love Java and hipsters often burn their tongue on coffee, because they drink it before it's cool. Now if you take my coffee you better get ready for a mugging. But all seriousness coffee makes you an honest person and without it you'd be full of shit. It's nice baby!

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Vodka Is Awesome. #shorts #comedy #improv #podcast #humor #funnypodcast #funny #adice #lifehacks #motivation  #explorepage #vodka #drink #lightdrink

Vodka is awesome. Vodka is amazing drink. It comes from the name voda, which means water ïn Russian. There was a time though in Russia when they ran out. In May 9 1945. When the Nazis surrendered to the Soviet Union, the Russians partied so hard within 22 hours they depleted their entire country's resources. I'm surprised didn't invade another country to get some more. But let's not focus on Russia's vodka. Look more back to the United States where they have Tito's vodka for dog lovers made right in Austin, Texas, but most mancha has a 90 calories per 50 grams per shot. It's lighter than water. It's one of the cleanest alcohols you can buy on the planet has no sugar, yeast or any of those kinds of things. You're rockin keto, it's all you can drink baby great a friendly another really good brand of vodka is double crossed out of Slovakia incredibly pure one all types of awards. My personal preference is at Tito's and club soda and a pinch of lime. And like most drinks, the more you drink, the better look and sound. It's nice baby!

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Must-Know Filipino Fun Facts. #short #podcast #humor #funny #funnypodcast #philippines #filipino #karaoke #mannypacquiao

Must know facts about the Philippines. First, it is composed of over 7600 islands in Southeast Asia. The average temperature there is 765 degrees Fahrenheit. They have some of the most polite people on the planet maybe because they start celebrating Christmas in September. Karaoke is the national activity so practice sure Barry Manilow and Neil Diamond because if you don't like karaoke, you're a horrible person. They do send over 400 million text messages a day to each other making it the thumb arthritis capital of the world, but they do the longest basketball game ever played over 120 hours, amazing for an average height of four foot three in the country that they have a basketball team. They have five of the largest shopping malls and the largest volcanic eruption ever occur in the last 50 years. Manny Pacquiao is from there and he's so fast he can knock you out just looking at you. The yo-yo was invented there explains why there's such a level headed culture that can deal with the ups and downs. They have rice with everything, breakfast, lunch, dinner. If you don't have rice, it's not a meal. You can have with mangoes in your coffee on your hot chocolate with your ice cream. It's rice baby!

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Beach AMSR - Fall Asleep in one minute. #comedy #improv #podcast #humor #funnypodcast #funny #adice #lifehacks #motivation  #explorepage #asmr #asmrsleep #asmrrelax #asmrsounds #asmrvids #asmrbeach #relaxing #sleep #beach #waves #satisfying

Imagine you're on a beach, beautiful white sands. It's a warm, clear, sunny day, and you hear the ocean. You hear the wind. You feel the sun on your face. It's warm. But the day unfolds and you go for your walk, you feel the white sand continuously caress your feet. Let your mind drift. Breathe. Enjoy the power of the ocean. It's push its pull its release. Let your mind drift further. The like the tide. Let it come and go. Let your mind drift. Breathe. Hear the waves, feel the wind. Close your eyes and let go.

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Ariana Grande Is Terrible. #short #podcast #humor #funny #funnypodcast #ariana #arianagrande #music #musica #voice

Ariana Grande is terrible. Her music is absolute garbage. Incredibly repetitive, derivative of every song she ever sings. She was annoying as Cat on salmon cat. Don't ask why I know that show. Ironically though, she does sound like a calf getting slowly tortured to death when she sings. I would rather have a warm dagger gently inserted into my eardrum than listen to her music. Her lyrics are generally horrible, thoughtless and meaningless on one the trifacta Triple Threat, if you will, her music may cause cancer. I have no scientific proof except for the giant tumor growing on my ear every time she sings. I don't know why she just randomly cusses in her songs as no value doesn't feel very smooth. She is really just celebrity culture. And it seems music is a second thought. According to the things.com, she is a cheater, a bully, she's mean to her fans, and I think they're implying she may smell like rotten turkey. Ariana Grande is amusing. It's not nice baby!

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Happy 4th Of July.  #short #podcast #humor #funny #funnypodcast #july4th #longweekend #hotdogs #firecrackers #history #historyfacts #IndependenceDay 

Happy 4th of July from American, the sexy voice guy. Here's some interesting facts about the 4th of July. First Americans are going to eat over 150 million hotdogs, drink 16 billion gallons of beer, and blow up about $1 billion worth of fireworks and lose some fingers. The actual vote for the Declaration of Independence was on July 2. It was only published in the papers on July 4, and on July 4, only two people actually signed the Declaration of Independence that was Charles Thompson and in notorious John Hancock with his giant ass signature. Nicolas Cage would argue there is a treasure map on the back, but there isn't. On the back of the declaration independence, there's only a phrase that reads original Declaration of Independence July 4, 1776, kind of like an NFT. An odd mystery related to the Fourth of July is that on the 50th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson and John Adams both died within five hours of each other. Maybe they are partying a little hard so party safely America and Happy Fourth of July. It's nice baby!

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The Beauty of Cussing. #short #podcast #humor #funny #funnypodcast #cuss #words #wordsoftheday #wordsofwisdom

The beauty of cussing. Have you ever wondered why a cuss word becomes a cuss word? Or why we even have them in language? I know I did. And I looked it up. Here's what I found out for a word. First of all, to qualify as a cuss word, it must have the potential to offend. It has to cross a cultural line into the taboo. Oh taboo sound sexy. But swearing though has a whole science behind it. There is actually a way that it can alleviate pain, and it's been shown to make you stronger. I'm not sure that's 100% True, but that's what Google told me. The top five customers though in Am erica are s**t, f**k, c**k s****r, mother f****r and c**t. My favorite one s**t. No doubt about it. It is the most versatile cuss word on the planet and it's by far the least offensive. No one no in America uses C bomb unless you're classless or you're visiting from Australia. But the beauty of cussing is something that you should definitely embrace and enjoy as part of our language and enjoy it. It's nice mother f****r!

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Trimming Your Bush.  #short #podcast #humor #funny #funnypodcast #bush #trim #garden #gardening #friends

Trimming your Bush as your Bush become a bit patchy or overgrown. It's been a little while since you've done some gardening. Maybe you're having friends over and you need to quickly trim it so you aren't so embarrassed, few tips for you to help you get that done. First lay down a tarp. It's gonna get messy, it's been a while, you want to clean this thing up quickly. Second, take a moment to examine your bush. Determine the size, the shape the length, third, start cutting from the bottom up. This will ensure the look in the fields the way you're going to want it. Don't go dip in too deep either. This could cause permanent damage or even scarring. When I get done. Take a step back, observe it. Enjoy it for a moment. Find the details. Get it to the shape you want. And then stop. Clean your tools. Pick up the clippings. Take a shower, if you got dirty when your friends come up to your house. Your push will look better. You won't be embarrassed and they'll happily come into your home. Enjoy these tips on trimming your bush. It's nice baby!

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Keto - How To Lose Friends and Weight #short #podcast #humor #funny #funnypodcast #keto #diet

Keto, how to lose friends and weight. The ketogenic diet is a very low carb high fat diet. It drastically reduces carbohydrate intake and replaces it with fat, good fat just like good debt. You can have good fat, but it puts your body in this metabolic state called ketosis. ketogenic diets are a significant reduction in blood sugar and insulin levels, as well as friendships. It's really easy to spot someone on keto for they tell you about it in the first two minutes of meeting them. I personally have lost about 800 pounds on keto, that's four friends. We're also a house that takes off their shoes when you come in, which is great for cleanliness, but is the source of a lot of other friend loss a different episode. I've never had so much cauliflower in my life, the total weight eaten actually exceeds the remaining friends I have. I've eaten over 1000 avocados and I now more actually can speak Spanish say Alberto Espanol and I never knew kale made into a chip. It's actually pretty good one downside of keto no more beer, upside vodka. All you can eat, enjoy. It's nice baby!

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Watermelons Are Disgusting! #short #podcast #humor #funny #funnypodcast #watermelons #summer #tasty #fruits

Watermelons are disgusting! I know it's the chosen fruit of summer. It's gorgeous with its bright green, outer edge and inner pink beautiness but it's just a horribly tasting fruit. I'd rather drink warm moldy beer, or maybe get a hot dagger in my that have to eat watermelon. Its texture feels like sand and diarrhea though I've never had either of those as food, but I think that's what it would come together. The best use for what I've seen is really as actually making a sculpture or filling it with vodka and freezing it and then eating it that way. More tolerable, still tastes disgusting. Don't get me wrong. Everyone loves it. I wish I did too. But I'm in that group of people who cannot eat it without wanting to throw up. You know if you get a seedless one. I'm wondering how that even happened. Probably genetic modification. Its flavors kind of like sugar, ate sugar, then took a poop and then it made a watermelon. I respected you can enjoy it, but it's horrible. It's nice baby!

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