In this Heart On My Sleeve episode, host Michaela Overman sits down with Paul Bennell, Manager of Fundraising & Relationships at children’s grief charity Feel the Magic. Paul shares what it was like losing his mum to suicide at age 10, being bullied for his loss, and growing up hiding both his grief and his queer identity.

Together they explore “winter” as a season of grief, shame as a bodyguard and handbrake, and the coping strategies that look “high-functioning” on the outside but quietly erode us inside.

Paul reflects on learning to separate his worth from his mum’s death, to have hard conversations instead of ostriching, and how Feel the Magic now helps hundreds of kids - and the 10-year-old version of himself - feel seen, safe and less alone.

Content note: This episode includes discussion of suicide and childhood bereavement.