Shame Spiral

Hi Shame Spiralers! I'm briefly emerging from our mid-season hiatus just to drop this very special bonus episode with comic, writer & actor Jes Tom! (Our Flag Means Death, Less Lonely.) Jes is one of my favorite comedians and you can and SHOULD drop everything you're doing and go see their one-person comedy show Less Lonely at the Greenwich House Theater in NYC, from now through January 6! This hilarious, poignant show is written & performed by Jes, presented by Elliot Page, and ...

This week I spiraled out with psychotherapist, OCD specialist, writer & content creator Alegra Kastens! We talked OCD origin stories and the thoughts that broke our brains, the obsessive struggle to discern if you don't like someone because you're not into them or because there's something wrong with you, fear of being cancelled and social media trolls, the idea of "harm," and what it really means to harm someone, obsessing about finding a partner and worrying about your eggs dying, ...

This week I spiraled out with writer, illustrator, podcaster & professor Nicole J. Georges! (Calling Dr. Laura) We talked shame and recovery from harmful family dynamics, making amends to yourself & others, the important of zines and yahoogroups for isolated young 90's queers, shoplifting, vegan betrayals, gossiping, gaslighting, writing memoir when you know your family won't be happy about it, and SO MUCH MORE. Plus, Nicole shared several incredible shame stories, including a t...

This week I spiraled out with writer, poet and lovely person LaToya Jordan! We dug deep into her recently published novella, To The Woman In The Pink Hat, and some of the issues it explores: medical racism, infertility, white feminism, the Women's March, and uterine transplants (?!?,) and also spiraled about twenty-something alcohol-induced regrets, the struggle to "make the first move" in attempting friendship with adults and fellow parents, and how sometimes the right amount of shame just a...

This week I spiraled out with brilliant television writer, showrunner and co-creator of YELLOWJACKETS (!!!!!!) Ashley Lyle! We talked nicotine and being 90s teens, the moment you realize you can hurt your mom's feelings, caring too much about what people think of you at the expense of the people who truly care, the vicious procrastination cycle and ADHD, anxiety & shame intertwined, unhinged goth childhood behavior, feeling replete with humiliation on CELEBRITY FAMILY FUED, an...

This week I spiraled out with hilarious and deeply relatable novelist, television writer & painter Ali Liebegott! We talked regret, people pleasing and the shame of saying no, making mistakes and accepting your own and others' flaws , accidentally farting on a stranger in a grocery store, taking your students to a casino, wishing your childhood fish was more like a dog and SO MUCH MORE. Ali's published a handful of incredible award-winning books, including : ...

This week I spiraled out with the brilliant & SUPER funny stand up comic & writer Amy Silverberg! (Comedy Central, The Paris Review) We talked Jewish parents, boundaries, talking about your students and boyfriends in your stand up, fake vs real vulnerability, codependency and hurting people more in trying NOT to hurt them, how being teased can feel like love, being a recovered ghoster, and SO MUCH MORE. Amy also shared several juicy shame stories AND we went deep into the world ...

This week I spiraled out with the hilarious and thoughtful writer & stand up comedian Django Gold! (The Late Show With Stephen Colbert) We talked social awkwardness, persecution complexes, the weirdness of being an introverted comedian, accepting your flaws, parading around your job with a beard full of ice cream, torturing yourself with anxiety, the benefits of getting older, spectacularly bombing a stand up set and ON YOUR BIRTHDAY, unintentionally breaking the social contra...

This week I spiraled out with the delightful & brilliant writer, podcaster, and mental health advocate Allison Raskin! (Overthinking About You, Just Between Us) We talked the nuance around mental health diagnoses, all about OCD, insecurities around friendship, self-compassion as the antithesis of shame, the liberating potential of knowing your own schemas, and even meta-processed a few moments INVOLVING EACH OTHER that made us both spiral, if you can believe. If you're not already ...

This week I spiraled out with super funny & absurdly talented comedian, writer, actor & podcaster River Butcher! (The Knew Guys, League Of Their Own.) We talked fear of people leaving if you dare to share your feelings, the difficulty of actually implementing your coping skills when things are POPPING OFF, giving a gift to your inner child and carrying all previous versions of you inside yourself, letting go of trying to be a "better person," somatic therapies, striking out in basebal...