In this SHAREapy reflection, Joel shares an unscripted moment inspired by a late-night conversation about listening—both to people and to God. He explores what it really means to hear from the Holy Spirit, explaining how God’s voice always aligns with Scripture and bears the fruit of love, peace, and self-control. Through practical examples, like catching negative self-talk and shifting thought patterns, Joel invites listeners to examine how God might already be speaking in ways they’ve overlooked. With relatable metaphors from gaming and daily life, he reminds us that the Creator is constantly leaving us clues—if we’re still enough to notice them.

If you need prayer or want to contact me to start some SHAREapy, email me! [email protected]

wehavetoshare.com (https://www.wehavetoshare.com/)

to support:

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Venmo: @joeldavidbarnes

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(You can watch this message on Youtube HERE)We believe that if you teach people to share their blessings and their bruises, to connect with love and empathy, we can eradicate isolation in the world. We believe this not because we just woke up and thought of a good mission statement. I’ve been praying over this ministry since before it had anything. Before we had a logo. The only thing that God had given me at that point was actually, that’s it, the logo. That’s all I had. I had this vision that God showed me to share, and I took exactly what that vision looked like and I tattooed it on my arm. And I didn’t know exactly what it was going to be. Matter of fact, I thought at first it was going to be a restaurant. I thought, share the restaurant. And honestly, I think that that’s probably still going to happen at some point one day. But from there, it’s become very, very, very clear that he wants me to teach people how to share, and the only way to share, the only way to teach someone to share, is to go first. And so for years, I have been going first. For years, I have been sharing my story, The Good, the Bad, the uncomfortable for people to listen to, the hard things, for people to know, whether it’s hurts or breaks my mom’s heart to hear, I have had to share things that have been difficult, and I have been able to share things that are blessings. So my blessings and my bruises were the ways that I began to share first. Now, as God continues to lead me through my own very difficult situation, it has just become more and more clear that he’s given me a tool to teach people to share their blessings and their bruises, to connect with love and empathy through something that I’m calling SHAREapy and SHAREapy is intentional faith based connection to ultimately build community one relationship at a time. And I believe in this mission, and I cannot stop this mission. I don’t care what I lose, I don’t care what I’m going through, I have to keep going. I believe in this with the world the way it is today. Everything about the world is designed to separate us and to tear us apart and to tear us down and to disconnect us and to point out our differences. And that’s why I realized at some point that that’s why I got this vision to share years ago, because God knew that all of this was on the way that the season of isolation and solitude and disconnection was just on the way. And so I feel grateful for the season of suffering that I’ve gone through. I know it sounds crazy, but I feel grateful for it, I feel grateful for it because it’s opened my eyes to a different level of pain that I didn’t know existed, and now that’s a level that I can connect with people at. I didn’t understand what grief looked like until I walked with my best friend through losing her husband of 54 years. And so I’m just in awe of what God continues to do, even though my season is not over, it’s been very clear that he’s told me that it’s time, it’s time to focus, it’s time to share, it’s time to get the word out. It’s time to write and publish and post and do all the things. So that’s what I’m doing, that’s it. That’s all I’m doing, that’s all I’m focused on. And even though there’s days that I can’t get out of bed, those days I spend studying, even though there’s days that I can’t like, mentally block out the pain, it’s those days that I just spend in prayer for other people that are going through something. More than what I’m going through. And so I know that God has used every single ounce of my suffering in this season, every single stress that I felt, every bit of stress that I’ve felt, and I just cannot wait to continue to walk with people, to continue to do life with people, to continue to see and hear the stories, to give voice to people who have suffered in solitude and isolation for too long.

I almost didn’t make it out of my season. And I can tell you that isolation is designed to destroy you. Isolation is designed to separate you from the love of God, to separate you from the love of other people, to make you feel like you’re the only one in the world that is feeling this way. And those things are just not true. The fact that people are scared to talk to each other, people are scared to connect with each other. It is all a design of the enemy to send us into these caves of disconnection, where our minds can do all the work for the insecurity and the fear and just continue to spin up those things. We need each other to hear how similar we all are, but yet the world continues to drive this narrative that we’re so different, and I just don’t believe that. I just know it to not be true. So I can’t stop. I can’t stop what I’m doing. I’ve already lost everything. I don’t have anything else to lose, except my home at this point. But I can’t stop. I can’t stop, no matter what. This is too important, and there’s just too many people that are suffering and alone and lonely, and think that they’re the only ones in the world that are feeling this way. And there’s too many people that just don’t know what to say, they don’t know how to help. They don’t know that God is here to conquer all of it. So I just feel like it’s just too important. I feel like this ministry is a matter of life and death, and so I just can’t stop, and I don’t want to stop, and I won’t stop. And I’m just more and more often going to rely on people that believe that God is too big and that he has written a blueprint for us in the Bible on how to connect and how to do life and how to eradicate isolation.

Eradicate isolation is what he’s told me to do. I mean, it’s too big for me to do. So it can’t be my idea. It’s not like I hear that and I think, yeah, totally, this is exactly the way. I don’t think that. I think that only God can do that, and if he wants to use us to do that one connection at a time, then we’re here for it, and we’ll be here for it, and we’ll keep going. So what I need is prayers. I need your prayers. However it is that God puts on your heart to support, the only way to get there is through prayer. And it is so much more powerful than we even realize. The power of prayer. I need prayers for my pain. It has gotten worse, even though I feel more encouraged than I have ever felt in my life, my pain is worse than it’s ever been, probably, and I need provision, and those are the things that I need God’s help with. In the meantime, I will continue to wake up every day and pursue this vision in Jesus name. That’s it.

Thank you for reading/listening! In this current season, I am unable to work due to my physical disabilities and acute chronic pain and my work comp disability income does not cover my basic life expenses. This IS the best I can do for work and walking with people is the most important work I have ever done. Anything you donate goes straight towards providing for myself and my daughter. God has been so good to us over the years and it’s people like you that He’s used to help keep us from losing our home or going without… thank you for your prayers and support. It means the world to us. (See below for ways to help)

❤️,

joelif you need prayer or want to contact me to start some SHAREapy, email me! [email protected]

wehavetoshare.com

to support:Cashapp: $wehavetoshare

Zelle: [email protected]

Venmo: @joeldavidbarnes

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

The Pressure to Report

(You can watch this video on our YouTube page HERE)I feel like I’m supposed to come on here and talk to you all about the pressure that we’re feeling in the world to report everything. I feel like this has been coming up a lot in my personal life. And while I may not feel the same pressure to report my feelings and all the things that are going on in the world, I know that the way God always brings it together, it’s the same meaning.

And in the way that I experienced it this week, I had a really rough doctor’s appointment yesterday where they talked about next steps. I had an MRI come back. And I’m so thankful that it came back with evidence and proof of the pain that I’m in. Because sometimes with pain, it’s so difficult to even know where to go after it, plan-of-attack-wise. So I’m so happy that it was a crappy MRI, but the MRI showed some stuff and we had to have a tough conversation about next steps. And, you know, it’s not none of it’s good for me. But instantly I began to process reporting it, talking about it—even at some point, feeling compelled to share an update with people who are praying for me through the season.

There’s this pressure to report. I mean, from reporting to my mom, reporting to Hannah, my daughter, to reporting to my friends’ immediate circle, and then eventually my church group. And what I realized in the pressure to report, which is just fascinating, is the way that God works things out. I reported to my lawyer, and I reported to my nurse case manager, and I checked in, and I had an email drafted before I even left. Just like, here’s the picture, and here’s the thing, and here’s the game plan. And none of those people put the pressure on me to report except me.

First of all, in the pressure to report, I go an entire 24 hours, and I report to everybody else about what’s going on except me. It took until this morning my daughter texted me—which was amazing—hey, Dad, how are you? And it was the first time I thought about how I was.

I feel like this is so important right now in this moment in time because that is just a microcosm of what we just saw happen last week with everything going crazy and everybody having an opinion and everybody feeling the pressure to report exactly how they felt on it and exactly their theory on it and exactly what’s going on. But my question is how many of those people actually checked in with themselves first?

I wonder how many people actually put themselves in the situations that they were reporting on first, and how many people thought about, if it was them that it was happening to first—no matter what mistakes they’ve made in the world, no matter what they said in the world, no matter how righteous, no matter how polarizing. Just the very basic, what if it happened to you? What if it was you? And I don’t even know that people are thinking about how they are first.

And I don’t know that that is a very healthy thing. I mean, I can tell you even from this particular situation that I was more stressed out about other people’s reactions. I was more concerned about how other people would take it. I started even fabricating stories about the longevity of other people watching my story and how it would affect their belief in what I say I believe in, or whether or not they believe me and all these things that just are not true and don’t matter more than me checking in with me and me saying, there’s something that’s difficult that’s happening. There’s something very difficult that I need to fortify myself for first.

And this is something that I’ve worked on for years and something that I’ve been working through for years where I have a tendency to think that I actually have the capacity to help someone else before helping myself. Would it make someone else feel okay before I even address myself? And that’s just not true, not to mention not healthy.

So I’m thankful that it only took 24 hours for me to get back to actually thinking about how I’m doing. Until today, 24 hours later, I didn’t even think about some of the ways that this next news was going to affect my next six months to a year. I thought more about how the news was going to affect people around me.

And I don’t really care what the motivation is. I don’t care if it feels like it’s something that you need to do for others to take care of others, to protect others from your truth, your reality, like in my case, or if it’s something that you’re doing because you feel the burden to share your opinion with the world. Nobody wants to hear it. No one should hear it until you have spent time with it first.

There’s no way that people’s opinions should be going viral if they haven’t even processed it first, because until you understand how it affected you… Most people don’t even realize that they have been traumatized by the impact of last week, by the things that they saw, that they should not see. Do you understand how traumatizing it was?

When I saw someone lose their life for the first time in my neighborhood, watched it happen—that affected me for years. And people accidentally saw it this past week. How are you doing first? That’s what’s important here. That’s of utmost importance here. Process it for you first. You know why? Because you deserve it. You deserve that space. You deserve the space to process the things.

Now parents, you’re gonna know exactly what I’m talking about when I talk about this, because parents, we do it all the time. We always process for our kids first, and you know what? I love to say that that’s noble and righteous, but at the end of the day, you can only get so far with that logic, that mentality, that mindset, because your kids need you to be healthy to understand how they can react to it next. So it still has to go through you first. You and God need to do your work first.

And so responding from a place that’s reactive is not just not healthy for you, it’s not healthy for other people too.

So I didn’t really understand it today, and it was rough. I had a bit of a breakdown, if I’m being honest—not even about processing it for myself at this point, but just to be in a position that seeks direction regularly from God. And to realize that there’s still so much work to do and that I have a tendency to continue, even from my position of reporting, to leave myself out of the equation. I gotta do better so that I can do better. I gotta do a better job of checking in.

You know, what I would encourage us all to do better is resist the urge to say something, anything ever. The Bible says that we should be slow to speak, quick to listen. So may that just be our encouragement today. Slow to speak, quick to listen. Whatever you have to do, slow down the world around you, so that you have a chance to hear what God’s got to say about it first, to hear what you think about it first.

And I’m not saying go on social media and listen to what everyone else says first to formulate your opinion. I mean, really slow down and be like, God, man, this is something difficult. What do you want me to see here? What do you want me to hear here? This is what I feel, God. This is where my heart is broken.

And yeah, I don’t, I don’t know all the details, and all the details start to make it more muddy and less human. We can even do it to ourselves. You heard me say that I was even starting to do it in, like, gosh, there’s so many people that are gonna be so tired of my story that God, I just wanna get to the next part. That’s the good part. That’s the non-pain part. That’s the non-suffering part. I just wanna get to that part, God, so I can say, look what you did, God, look what you did. What are you gonna do it, God? But in the meantime, I’m beating myself to death about something that I physically have no control over.

And the same thing that makes me so happy, that is on an MRI. Matter of fact, I might even show this MRI in the video. It’s so clear that the knee is so bad that it should cause me outlandish amounts of pain every single day captured in way more than 4K, because it’s an MRI and that sees all the way through everything. It’s 40, 20, five k, I don’t even know, bro. It’s crazy. And I’m sitting here. I’m already down the road in the future. Like, I gotta tell people about this. People might actually—I might actually have to ask someone for help again. Oh my God, please God don’t let me have to do that. I don’t want to do that, but I’m writing this doom story about something that I have nothing, no control over.

And the only thing that I should be doing is being like, God, what are you doing here? What do you want me to see here? And if it’s just for me… The pressure for me, the pressure to report to everybody else in the 24 hours past my own devastating news—imagine what the world looks like, and imagine what the world’s going through when all they do is feel the pressure to report.

The ways to look good on Instagram, the ways to take the right angle so they don’t see the body fat, the ways to crop out the… or fill the lines. The pressure to preserve, report and present something that’s not even what you’re interested in or what the world cares about. We care so much about how we look on social media. We care so much about how we present ourselves to the world so that no one knows that we’re suffering, that no one can see that we’re scared. The pressure to report.

What if you just give yourself a break? What if you just said, no, man, I need a minute, I need time with this. I don’t want to be used as part of anyone’s agenda. I just need to check in with myself. Those are maybe the words that I’m gonna give you to use. You know what? I just need to check in with myself about this.

I had a friend do this in the conversation real time the other day, and then we followed up and we had a conversation this morning about it. And so I’m so proud of you, Hector, for doing that where you said, I just need a minute to think about that. You didn’t feel the pressure to report even in a moment, and I did not know what was going into your moment, but I’m so proud of you for the wisdom to say I need a minute.

All y’all, if you need a minute, say you need a minute, and take a minute. It’s okay. It’s okay. The urgency of the situation should not be a reason to make you report faster or make you say anything at all. The urgency of the situation shouldn’t make you say I need a minute, can I have a minute? If I need a month, can I have a month?

And leaders, leaders, leaders, leaders—yeah, I’m talking to you leaders, cause I am one. I am a servant leader. I do serve people in this world. There are people that may never respond to a video that I have an opportunity to communicate with, and who are listening to God sometimes for the first time through what I have to say.

And so leaders, your responsibility is to check in with yourself and your God before you say a word. Period. If you are a faith-based leader, it should be God first, and then yourself. And it should be yourself reporting to God. Period. It should be a conversation, a wrestling, a moment of clarity. And if you don’t have that moment of clarity, you don’t get that word and keep your mouth shut.

That might be the most important thing you do for the people around you, is model that resistance to report, model that I-need-a-minute moment.

I’m so thankful that even in dismissing myself full circle, you can show me something to share with someone else. Cause I know I’m not the only one. God, matter of fact, I had not even connected it to anything that was going on inside of the world until you showed that to me.

So I thank you so much, God, for taking real pain, my real breakdown today, and give me words to share with others that hopefully, God, they can say hold on world, hold on. I need a minute, I need a minute to check in with me and figure out how I am. Before I tell you how you should be, or before I report on how I am.

Keep steering the ship God, keep showing me through my own brokenness how to hear you better, how to hear less of the world, how to get swept up less into the chaos of the world. God, there’s nothing for us in that chaos. God, I know that you are a God of calmness and stillness and peace. You are not a God of chaos.

Chaos should be an automatic timeout. Trauma should be an automatic time out anytime God that we experience trauma, let us just say we need a minute. I need a minute. I need a month, I need a couple months. I need whatever it is that you deem possible and you need necessary.

And let us hear that. And God, I know that you will give us a peace that surpasses all understanding, because you are a God of peace that surpasses all understanding. You are not a God of chaos, you are not a God of division, you are not a God of separation, you are not a God of politics and b******t. You are a God that is peaceful in the storm, that commands the waves in the sea. And we trust you, God. I trust you, God. Please keep leading this country, Lord, into peace and out of this chaos.

Lord, let there be a conviction in the spirits of those who claim your name, those who claim to follow you that says this is chaos, this is division, this is not what God says that he is. So how can I find peace? How can I check in with me, how can I check in with my Dad who calms the waves?

There’s not an example of you in the Bible, God, creating chaos. I just pray Lord for that to just become more and more, and more clear to your kids, including me, me first. God in Jesus’ name, amen.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode of the SHAREapy Pod, the SHARErs discuss their three-month journey of intentional connection and personal growth. Ayo, a software engineer and combat sports enthusiast, shares his motivation for meeting every other week, emphasizing the importance of deep, spiritual conversations. The Joel and Ayo reflect on the benefits of vulnerability and mutual support, highlighting a recent instance where Ayo offered to bring food for the Joel’s daughter despite financial constraints. They also discuss the value of intentionality, grace, and effort in fostering meaningful relationships. The conversation concludes with insights on how their interactions have positively impacted their faith journeys and personal behaviors. The conversation revolves around the importance of relationships and community, drawing parallels to religious experiences. Joel emphasizes that true connection can transform the world, potentially eradicating isolation. They discuss the challenge of slowing down in a fast-paced society and the value of intentionality. Ayo agrees, noting the difficulty of prioritizing connection amidst daily pressures. They both envision a future where community is valued again, citing examples of small acts of kindness. The discussion concludes with a call to share and support each other, symbolizing a shared mission without financial gain.

For the full transcript of our talk, you can click HERE

Thank you for listening! In this current season, I am unable to work due to my physical disabilities and acute chronic pain and my work comp disability income does not cover my basic life expenses. This IS the best I can do for work and walking with people is the most important work I have ever done. Anything you donate goes straight towards providing for myself and my daughter. God has been so good to us over the years and it’s people like you that He’s used to help keep us from losing our home or going without… thank you for your prayers and support. It means the world to us. (See below for ways to help)

❤️,

joelif you need prayer or want to contact me to start some SHAREapy, email me! [email protected]

wehavetoshare.com

to support:Cashapp: $wehavetoshare

Zelle: [email protected]

Venmo: @joeldavidbarnes

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

Below is the written transcript of a message I did for the “Be Still” Gathering, in Chicago, September 2025. If you want to watch the full video, click here, or your can listen here in the Substack browser, or on Spotify or Apple Podcasts (search “SHAREapy. The Podcast). It was an honor to be invited write a message for this gathering and we are excited to continue to support Monica in her women’s ministry going forward! Full Blog Post on this event coming soon!

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the Be Still Gathering, y'all. I am so excited to be here. I have been thinking about this so much. We have been praying for you so much. It has been weeks and days and prayers and details and so much and we're here and we're so happy that you're here. Welcome, welcome, welcome. I know I'm not there. It's someone else's house, but still, welcome to Monica's house.

Okay, my name is Joel Barnes. I am a pastor. I'm a pastor. I'm not a preacher, probably. It's probably not my thing but that is not my daily job. But God has definitely called me a pastor and I have definitely stepped into this calling in a fresh new way in this last 5 year season. A little bit about myself, I have dealt with some pretty crazy things in the last five years in particular. It's been a heck of a season. Heck of a storm. (hint hint) But it has been a crazy crazy time. Not the easiest time in my life by, you know, that's saying it lightly. But in that time, I feel like God has expanded my capacity in a new way, in a different way. He's shown me through suffering how to walk with his kids well through suffering of their own. I am starting a ministry called share. where we teach people to share their blessings and their bruises to connect with love and empathy. That is my mission is to help to build and facilitate community for people. God has shown me the vision of eradicating isolation and it is a big, crazy, God-has-to-do-it mission. But that's how I kind of came into this space with you. Monica and I have known each other for about 8 years. I go to Soul City Church. That's my home church. And we've known each other from there for years.

And speaking of Monica, and speaking of all the details and the prayers and all the things that have gone into today, can we just bless her for the vision that she's had to get you guys all in a room and have a prayer and worship moment with you guys? There has been so much intentional time and love and honor and respect and prayer and you've been prayed for so many times…like so many times. If you feel a little bit weird right now, you should because without you being here, without us knowing you were going to be here, without the people watching in the future, we've been praying for you. Yes. Strangers that don't know you like have been praying for you in this moment in this time and that this message receives you well. So, can we just bless Monica with having the vision and her first Yes to host this event and to sponsor this video and this message for you here today.

I want to talk to you guys about the theme of being still. When we were kind of going back and forth, I felt very clearly that God was like, "Talk to Monica about what the theme is for the gathering." And when she told me ‘Be Still’ was the gathering, it fit in line with so many things that I've already kind of had brewing for you guys. So she asked me to start to think through a message for you probably about 2 months ago and it has been like drinking from a fire hose. God has been giving me so many things for you for this time. It was overwhelming. And at one point I was like, "God, I can't say all that. I've got like 20-25 minutes max to talk." And you know that I'm a talker. I'm going to go off script. And so I need help, God, with kind of tightening this whole thing. And he was very clearly saying to me that, “I've given you all these things and I've shown you all these things for this group, for these people, for anyone that could watch this message because I have so much for you.” So, out of all the things that I've heard, the theme, the thread through everything has been He has so much for you. And I'm excited to just bring you the first of maybe many messages that He has for you. But I think it's really important and it's really awesome to think about a God that thinks about and plans and sculpts and scripts messages for us, intentionally for us, and intentionally for our season. But it was overwhelming. Okay, I'll be honest with you. I've been in a very overwhelming season. I deal with chronic pain daily. My finances are a mess. It has just been like a really crazy, overwhelming season. But something that God told me a long time ago is that He never really wants me to talk on topics, never really wants me to teach on topics that I have not personally had Him do something really powerful and that I don't have experience with.

And so in my season one of the things that I've studied quite a few times is the story of Job. And in my studies with Job, one of my favorite parts of the scripture, parts of the story is towards the end when Job is… so the story of Job quickly is that he had been chosen by God to endure. He was a good and faithful servant chosen by God to endure immense loss in his life. And he did. And he lost everything. And everyone from his wife to his friends to everyone kind of said, "This has got to be something you did. You should just give up. You should curse God." But he refused to curse God. Even though he was suffering, he toiled with God in a way that says, "I don't understand it. I don't get it, but I don't blame you. I blame me, if anything." And he was blameless in God's sight according to scripture. So, I say all that to say when we are in these storms, it's really important not to blame God. It's important to understand that God is in that storm. That comes to fruition in Job 38 where God actually speaks to Job from a physical storm. I think it was a really amazing representation of the fact that God is actually in the storms. If we think about our turmoil, our trouble, our overwhelmingness from that perspective, from the perspective of in all this chaos, God is there, God is in the storm with us, then I think things start to shift for us. At least for me it does because I know a lot of times when I'm in the chaos and I'm in the scary bits that I feel very alone, and I feel very much like maybe God's not with me and that's just not further from the truth. But that's not even the scripture we got going for today.

Today, we're going to take a look at Mark 4:35-41 so if you have your Bible here, good for you bonus points! Pull it out. We're going to go through scripture. If not, pull your phone out. I'd love for you to go through this scripture with me and read these words for yourself. I'm reading from the ESV version in Mark, so the words may not match up. You may have an NIV or a different version of the Bible. The message is always going to be the same, even if the words don't exactly line up the same way. But in Mark chapter 4 verse 35,

On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, "Let us go across to the other side." And leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat just as he was. And the other boats were with him. And a great windstorm arose and the waves were breaking into the boat so that the boat was already filling. But he was in the stern asleep on a cushion. And they awoke him and said, "Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?" And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, "Peace be still." And the wind ceased, and there was great calm. And he said to them, "Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?" And they were filled with great fear and they said to one another, "Who then is this that even the wind and the sea obey him?" MARK 4:35-41

Okay, so listen… already a great story. In this story, we have the power of Jesus: clear. The power of God on earth: clear. The power to speak to the wind and the storm and the calm and the chaos. And out of the chaos comes calm. There's so much here already and it's so incredible. And you can read the story that way and be satiated. But I think that there are some things that we can actually pull out of that story that give us a little bit more instruction, more tips and tricks, if you will, for how to actually have that calm in chaos. And so if we kind of break down this scripture, it breaks down into a few different ways. The first thing that you'll notice, the first thing that I noticed when I was kind of rereading it, going back through it, and saying, "God, what do you want us to see? What do you want us to study?" It makes it very clear that Jesus is in the boat. And because God's in the boat, he's along for the ride with us. And because he's along for the ride with us, he's in it when the storm comes. That's very very clear. And I think that that's a good thing to remember, right? But when they're in the storm, when they're in it, there's a very specific thing that has to happen because Jesus in this story… I think it's so funny when I read the Bible and I'm like, man, this could be anything. This could read any way. I want to pay attention specifically to what is going on right here. Specifically, Jesus was asleep when it happened. So, he is at peace in the storm. Let's pay attention to that. He's not worried about the storm. He's not intimidated by the storm. He's not afraid. There's 12 other men that are all those things. Now, if you need a little bit of encouragement today, these 12 men had seen him do miracle after miracle after miracle in front of their face and in their eyes, and they still were terrified. They had the savior of the world in their boat. They had a man that was healing the sick and casting out demons and raising the dead with them in the boat. So you think that it's bad that you've been stressed out about that thing? No. Listen, God understands. It is scary. God understands that it is terrifying and that in the wind and the waves that we are going to be afraid, right? I think that's why God gives us this story because you could not have gotten any closer to Jesus, and they were scared. So I think it's okay if sometimes we're scared. But I think then it's what we do from that position, from the point God knows we're going to be overwhelmed. He knows that the wind is going to crash and the waves are going to come and we're going to be scared for our life. He knows about the disagreement with your daughter. He knows about the discomfort with your husband. He knows about the stress of your finances. He's right there in it. He's in the boat when all those things were on the way. He was in the boat and he's still there in the boat when they come. And isn't it a nice reminder that he's asleep on a cushion at the stern of the boat in the storm? And so, but there's something that they do very specifically, right? So, I want to give you a few things that I feel like have kind of come up in this time of study for you guys. And so, thank you, by the way, for giving me the opportunity to study the Bible very specifically. Yes, five different messages in five different times. So, your being here means a lot to me and my spiritual growth, too. So, thank you very much for that. I appreciate it. But, so there's four things that I've kind of seen in this scripture kind of come to life, right, that I want to share with you right now. Call it four ways to be still, right? We need like something for clips and whatever, right? These days, everything's a clip. Everything's a TikTok. Whatever it is, I don't know. I'm trying to figure it all out. We got to do it because it is what it is. But here's four ways to be still in the storm. I don't know. Maybe I might actually use that because it's so ridiculous. Anyways, four ways to be still in the storm.

The first thing that you notice is that because Jesus is asleep, he wasn't noticing the storm, right? I don't think that's on accident. I think that creates an opportunity for the disciples to come to him. Is that the first tip? Yes, it is. Bring it to him. Okay. Bring the concern to him. Bring the stress to him. The Bible says, "Come to me all who are weary for I will give you rest." But you got to go. You got to bring it. You got to come to him. You got to bring it to him. So that's the first thing. Bring it to him. The way the disciples brought it to him is they went and they woke him up. Wait a second. You ever have this experience where you get mad at somebody when they're asleep? Now, I need y'all to be honest right now cuz we're treating this time like it's church. Okay, this is holy ground. You can't lie. You ever have a time when you've been mad at somebody when they were asleep? Yeah. Be honest. The kid didn't take the garbage out or do the dishes or whatever it is and they're in there asleep and you go wake them up. What? Don't you see? Don't you see how we… do you not care how we are perishing? Your gripe might be like, "Didn't I tell you to take out the garbage?" You know what I'm saying? But I think this is very interesting. It's very human. Jesus is asleep. He's asleep on a cushion. So, he's comfortable. I don't know why, but what a beautiful vision. He's not just asleep in a boat that's wood and he's sleeping on a wood board. He's sleeping on a cushion. He's comfortable. He's comfortable in the storm. He's comfortable in the the journey. He's comfortable that he's going to be alright. He doesn't have to worry about nothing. And they just come and wake him up stressing out. And and you know what's funny? He doesn't check them right away. He checks the storm right away. And I think that he does that with us. He will check that storm immediately. But the first thing we got to do is we got to bring it to him, after you woke him up when you were mad at him for being asleep. Bring it to him. Come to him. That's your responsibility. You got to say, "God, I got this. I need this. I need you to help me figure out how to pay this rent. God, I need you. God, I need you to help me figure out how to navigate this pain. I need you, God. I don't know how to get through to that person because that person is hard to love. God, I need you. I need you, God. I need you." That's our first responsibility is to bring it to him. Go wake Jesus up at the stern of the boat and say, "God, we got a problem out here. We're stressing right now. These winds and these waves are crashing in on us." So bring it to him is the first thing.

The next thing is to actually make the request. Make the request. Say, "This is what I need." God knows what you need, but he needs you to know what you need and you're asking of him. Make the hard request. What I see in their wrestling here, and it is okay to wrestle with God. Again, we hear in the story of Job, we're not blaming God. We're just like, God, I don't understand what's going on. Don't you see that we're perishing? Don't you see that I'm suffering? God, I need you. And so make that hard request, but ask it of him. Make that request to him because what he hears when you say what you need is your dependence on him for it. Very specific. If you need sleep, God, I need sleep. If you need a parking spot, God, I need a parking spot. You're a parent… A lot of you are parents. I'm a father. When my daughter comes to me and makes a request to me, I'm not annoyed. I'm not annoyed by that. I don't care. Sometimes I'm annoyed because you could get the juice box yourself. Okay? Right. Hey, listen. Sometimes we could do the thing that we need ourselves, too. But when my kid makes a request, Dad, I'm tired. I got called into work, Dad. I need a sandwich. I'm not upset. It's not trivial to me. It's important to me and it's important to your God, but he wants you to ask it of him. So, we're bringing it to him… our posture to wake him up… to go to him to pray, to get on our knees if we have to. And then we're asking it of him. We're making that very specific request. And then listen. We got to listen to him. When he does, then command the waves. Peace, be still. Peace, be still. What we should be hearing, what we should be paying attention to, what we should be listening to is that the power… he's bigger than this storm. He's the creator of wind and water. He is the one that is in ultimate control of everything. So when we listen to him, we can hear that power. We can hear, when we listen to him, when we read our Bible, when I listen to him and I'm listening to him as I read my Bible and I see the words say, "Peace! Be still!" Nothing in here is on accident. There's a command that he has over the wind and the waves and over chaos that brings calm. When you listen, you can hear that. When you listen to listen. Listen to let it land. Now we have brought it to him. We have acknowledged the thing. We have made the specific request, but now we're saying what do I do, God? He's going to give you breadcrumbs. He's going to leave little bits and pieces on the trail for you to find to lead you in the right way. Cuz just like in a video game… I'm a gamer, okay? I was trying to not tell y'all this, but I am. And one of the messages God gave me for you guys was around video gaming. And I was like, this is a group of women, God, they're going to judge me and they're going to think that I'm a silly little boy. That part's true, but you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm really not trying to be out here, but I am now. Okay, I'm out here. And I say all that to say one of the first messages he gave me for you guys was that he will give us the knowledge and the info and the intel and the breadcrumbs that we need to succeed. He will give you the info that you need to succeed. The reason why I bring gaming into this is because in video gaming there are clues. There are audio cues and there are visual cues and there's different ways of progressing. And you know an audio cue might be like you're running around a corner and you hear footsteps and you hear them on this side of your headphones cuz you're a nerd and anyways you hear it over here and you're like “ah!” You know what I'm saying? That's an audio cue that tells you that there's someone there, right? You might see a visual cue. that says, you know, over in this little area of your screen, you can kind of see footsteps. And you're like, “oh!” So you're responding to a visual cue. Why are all these things built into video games? Because the video game creator wants you to have fun. They want you to have fun. They want you to invite your friends. They want you to enjoy it and you can enjoy it more if there's more information that helps you be better at the game. So because you have these cues, these visual cues, these audio cues, you are able to be better at the game. That is the Holy Spirit in this metaphor. The Holy Spirit will give you these little cues, these little tips and tricks. Today, this is a true story. Today I woke up this morning to film this message. And as I woke up to film this message, I wake up to hearing my kid singing, “He won't fail, He won't,” that song, “Firm Foundation” by Maverick City. And she's in her room getting ready for work and she's singing that song. Great way to wake up through our season, through the storm, through all the turmoil that we've had just in the last few weeks and the pain and the suffering and the financial stress. It's been like, to hear your kids sing that is amazing, right? And that's how I opened my eyes today. God knows that I was opening my eyes getting ready to come teach this message to you. So, he gave me encouragement this morning. You understand? I don't take that lightly and that's not on accident. And then, oh, you think, oh, that's just a coincidence. Okay, well, how about this? Last night, I'm at church in worship and I very distinctly hear a message that that says, "Here am I, send me." And it's a scripture in Isaiah 6:8, matter of fact. And I hear God say, "Remember, you asked for this. You asked to be sent on this mission. In this mission, I will have to refine you and you will have to not buckle under stress. The stress of not being able to pay your rent on time. You will have to not buckle under the stress of the pain that you are in. You will have to not buckle under the pressures of the world. You will have to rely on me in this season to be refined so that I can use you. And I have this message and I hear this message and I hear this reminder that I've been praying this prayer for decades. And I hear this and I'm reminded of a prayer that I prayed that is coming true in this season even as I am sitting here talking to you. I'm reminded of that message. And I'm reminded that I prayed that prayer. And I see in my eyes a time when I had written that exact scripture down on paper, but I didn't know where the paper was. I didn't know where or what journal it was in. I've been journaling and writing for 25 years at least. I was like the little nerd kid that was like writing my feelings. Yeah, it was me for years. I don't know where I wrote that thing at. I have no clue. I let it go. Thank you, God. I got the message. I'm on. And then I'm like looking for the Bible that I'm going to bring to prepare for the time to talk to you and to the place that I'm at right now, which is incredible, by the way. And I'm looking for this Bible and I'm like, man, I know I have this leather Bible somewhere. Two separate disconnected thoughts. I know I have this little leather Bible that's not super heavy. I don't know where it is. Okay, cool. I guess I'll have to bring one of my big old thumpers. And I'm just fine. Whatever. I wake up this morning and my daughter's mom, who knows that I'm coming to this penthouse to film this for you and do a bunch of other content recording stuff in my writing time, she says, "Hey, I found this Bible. And here's a picture. Do you recognize this? Do you recognize this Bible?” She didn't just send me a picture of the Bible. She sent me like seven pictures, like a couple things that I wrote inside that. And I scroll up and literally in my text messages this morning…

I wake up to my kid singing. Amazing. I open my phone and this is the text message that I get. It's the place that I saw in my mind when I was in worship last night when I was thanking God for the trial and the tribulation that I've been in. And I'm thanking him, God, that hopefully, God, you are using all of these things, this chaos and the calamity in my life. Hopefully, you are refining me, God, to rely more on you. And I wake up to a text message where 15 years ago I left this Bible at my daughter's mom's house and she just happened to find it this morning. We have to listen. Sometimes it's very clear like this. Sometimes it's very clear. But he's going to leave us breadcrumbs because he wants you to be good at the game. He wants you to. I promise. He wants you to excel in life. He wants you to be at He wants you to be still. He wants you to be at peace. He wants you to rely on Him in the storm. He wants you to bring it to Him when you're going through it and then ask for Him when you need it and ask for him what you need and listen to him as he is speaking, as he's dropping breadcrumbs, as he's giving you little messages here and there.

And then the last thing I think that God wanted to show me about this season about this whole thing was at the very end when they are saying, “Who then is this that even the wind and the sea obey him?” We need to give glory to him because here's what giving glory to God does. This to me sounds like the disciples were in awe of him. They are just in awe of him. They're just like, "Are you kidding me? He just woke up." First of all, y'all woke him up angry, remember? And then he did what you told him to do. And now you're like, "Wait, he actually did what I told him to do. He did what I asked him to do. He answered my prayer.” And I hear them being in awe of him. “Who then is this?” They've seen what he can do. They've seen what he does. They've seen his power. They've heard his words. They've known that they were walking with him the entire time. And they still got scared because they are human and we're human and we're going to get scared and it's going to be uncomfortable. And then they brought it to him and they woke him up. And then they communicated their needs. They asked him for what they needed. They communicated that they were scared. “Don't you see that we're perishing God?” And then they listened to him. They listened to the power that is in him. They had to be reflecting on the fact that he's telling them that you are built the same way I am. That you can command that that matter of fact in Matthew's version of this story there was faith like a mustard seed. That story comes right before this story. So they had heard the story that if they had faith like the tiny mustard seed, that’s the smallest seed known to man that grows up to be the biggest most powerful tree in the garden, if they could just have faith like a mustard seed that they would be able to look at a mountain and say mountain jump into the sea go to the sea. That's the story. They had these stories buried in their heart and they're still scared. You know why? Because we're going to be scared. We're going to be scared because it's scary because we're human. Because we forget. We forget. We forget how good God is. We forget how many times he's shown up for us. How many things have been impossible? I can't wait to get to heaven to be like, "God, how many times did you save my life?” Seriously, that's my question. How many times did you save my life? And for him to give me a number and be like, "Oh, I thought it was only this many." But he was like, "No, there was a time that you were looking for your keys and it took you too longer to get out the door and you were so annoyed. You were so annoyed, but I protected you from an oncoming car collision. There was a time when you had a surgery go wrong and it changed your life. It sent you into the worst depression of your whole life and you didn't know where I was and you questioned if you'd even make it out of that storm. And you thought about not coming out of the storm, but I was right there with you then, too. I was the one that told you to get up and go back to church, to go rejoin community because I have to use you.”

So I come to you and I deliver this message to you. I believe it. I believe it. I can only tell you this because I believe it. I can only share this with you because I've seen it. I've been saved by it. So I give glory to him. I stay in awe of him. I will always get stupid happy about the little things that I see him do because I know that he has the capability to do the big things. I bring my chaos and my calamity and my needs to you, God. I want to bring it to you. I want to ask it of you. I want to listen to you. I want to give glory to you. I want to thank you, Lord, for all the times that you have been with every single person in this room, every single person watching this video, every single person under the sound of my voice. Lord, from now until eternity, I want to thank you for the ways that you have changed their life, that you have protected their life. Lord, I pray Lord that you allow them to command the wind and the waves the way that you have, with the authority that you give us, Lord, to actively be still, to trust you in the midst of it, to feel the calm and the peace that surpasses all understanding, Lord, in the middle of the chaos. We know, Lord, that you're with us. And it doesn't feel like it sometimes. It's just so hard sometimes. But we trust you and we will bring it to you. We will ask it of you. We will listen to you and we will give you all the glory. Bless my sisters in this room. Bless my brothers who watch this online in the future. Lord, I am so thankful to be used by you. You didn't have to use me. I wasn't worthy, but you qualified me. And I believe you. I love you so much, in Jesus mighty name. Amen. Listen, I didn't write this into the script. I didn't but I can't, I cannot share the stories of how God's shown up for me and continues to show up for me in my storm without getting emotional because I know he's close and I know He's real. And I've stood in awe as he calmed the wind and the waves. So if you have things that are going on in your life, I promise you that he's there. He just wants you to bring it to him. He just wants you to give it to him. He knows you can't handle it. So bring it to him and ask him what you need. He's a good father. He's going to give you more than you ever could have imagined in ways that you never could have understood. But he answers prayers. So I leave you to pray, to take this opportunity, to bring it to him, to leave it at his feet, to listen to what he says. And I thank him for it in advance. We thank you, God. We love you. Amen.

❤️

Joel

Cashapp: $wehavetoshare

Zelle: [email protected]

Venmo: @joeldavidbarnes

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

I really didn’t wanna share this. Just being honest. But I felt convicted in a few ways yesterday that, in my recent excitement in all that God is doing, I have begun to inadvertently edit out my bruises and my pain. It’s probably not inadvertent, at all. Who wants to share the hard parts? Who wants to really “boast of our weakness” like Paul did? Who wants to lay down their pride so that people think less of them? Not even I do… But it is my calling. It has been the purpose that God has been cultivating in my life for my ENTIRE life. “Teaching people to share their blessings and their bruises to connect with love and empathy.” My mission statement. So… yesterday, on my social, I shared my message to my doctor, which serves as a physical update on my pain and what I am experiencing. I also felt like God told me very clearly to turn my camera on and record what came out… And here it is. This message took almost 24 hours to upload and it presented plenty of opportunities to back out and to NOT share… But as I listen to it again and hear what God was saying through this message, I am not ALLOWED to ignore the instruction to post and share this message. My faith is not predicated on pleasure. My faith has been built in pain. I have to share. Anything less would be disobedience. You can click the link to listen in the Substack app or on any podcasting platform. You can also click the YouTube link below and watch the video.

❤️

Joel

Cashapp: $wehavetoshare

Zelle: [email protected]

Venmo: @joeldavidbarnes

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

He is so much better to me than my thoughts…

I’m starting this piece with tears hanging on the shelf of my lower eye lashes…

After confessing some very difficult thoughts about my last few weeks of life, I then began to shame myself for the fact that I thought that way in the first place. As I said out loud, “I know better and He is so much better to me than my thoughts.” The level of unblemished certainty that I have in God, lets me know that I needed to write this right NOW. Lord, I know that You are with me AND I’m scared and need You more.

The tears have rolled over the lip of my lashes now. Sometimes, I think so much less of me than He does. Sometimes, I have a hard time seeing the path through the trees. I get so overwhelmed, God. I see Your hand in so much of my story, but I hyper-fixate on the places where I thought You’d do more. I feel like someone that has been in the drought of the hot desert for so long but can smell the water just over the next horizon. Matter of fact, it feels like I can sense that overflow of provisional water on the other side of the next horizon WHI LE having a glass of ice water in my hand…. That fills up sometimes just in the nic of time to sustain my thirst before I fall to my knees in exhaustion. And when I finish that life giving sip… even though I know that I’m so close to provision that I could swim in, I cry in fear that I won’t be able to make it there in time.

The things You have shown me and the ways that You have guided me have been undeniable. Supernatural, even. So why am I still so hard on myself. Why am I so overwhelmed and why does it feel like I’m falling short… or that I missed something. Did I miss something God? Did you tell me to make a right turn and I made a left? How long, oh God.

I mean, You are the one I come to for answers. I insert Your word into every painful crevasse. Sometimes I stuff it in there, too. I don’t HAVE to “feel like” hearing from You. I HAVE to hear from You though. I don’t even wanna hear from humans unless it’s You that sent em. They don’t have to be perfect or have anything together, either. I sure don’t. I can hear You in their voice when you are speaking through them. It’s hard though. To discern what is from You and what is not supposed to land on me. Just like I’m sure it’s hard for people, at times to separate a “Joelism” from something that You are trying to say through me. We’re so broken and lost sometimes, God. I think that’s why spending so much time in your words have helped. I can hear more clearly when something aligns with Your heart, because I know Your heart better.

Can I be honest? This is what makes me upset sometimes, God. You let bad things happen to good people and it is so unfair. Especially when the bad people seem to get all the practical perks. If I’m being even more honest, it kinda feels like b******t that the people that trample other people make the most money. It infuriates me God to struggle with putting food on my table and keeping my lights on and a roof over my head when I wake up every single day and serve Your kids… per YOUR instruction. You have made it so clear that this is what I’m supposed to do that You keep bringing more people to the ministry too. I know who my first hire is… YOU told me who it is. And it’s so absolutely incredibly non-sensical AND perfect at the same time… that it could only BE a vision from YOU. And my first official “hire” isn’t me or my executive assistant.

You’ve brought me a person that works with me side by side each week. For FREE … just like me. She believes in the vision and helps me manage scheduling for my SHAREapy sessions with people and she had helped me to develop the merchandise store and the website and we have a schedule. If I’m in too much pain, sometimes it’s from my bed that I have to work from while she is screen sharing our work from her PC. But we are working on Kingdom work every single day… she holds me up in prayer when the pressure gets too great. And you’ve brought us someone who helps with social media and believes in the vision and now you brought someone who could help with creative design and video and…. You are bringing the people… but where’s the finances Lord? It seems like everyone else trips into money and provision but I don’t drink, smoke or have any vices and I can’t rub two nickels together.

You know why it really makes me the angriest? Because You know that I’m not doing any of it for the reward. I don’t even wanna know how many people I’m helping to the kingdom of Heaven because I do NOT want to ever think that ANY OF IT is about ME!! It makes me angry that You KNOW my heart and You see exactly what goes into my days… You see my pain. And You see my praise. You see when they happen at the EXACT same time. It makes me upset with You God … that I can be so in love with You that I try to curl up at Your feet and sometimes it just feels like You could do more. I mean… I love You so much that I’d rather just blame ME. I can’t blame You because You are perfect and Your will is perfect and Your plan is perfect and I believe that SO much that I’m just left… with me. I must have missed something… there must be more I am supposed to do… right?

But then I hear those words that I have studied and read. Just now, as I was pleading with you, I thought about the story of Job, in the Bible. In the third chapter of Job, when He was wrestling with Himself over his afflictions, Job cursed the day that he was born because even though he was upset with his circumstance, he knew God’s nature to be too good to be blamed or shamed for his pain. (Job 3:1-3) I know You are perfect and Holy and sovereign, Lord, so this HAS to be on me, right? I think the power of this entire story is that we are bound to be overwhelmed by life’s circumstances and if we really believe that All things work for the good of those who love God and are called to His purpose (Romans 8:28), then when we do come to an overwhelming season of circumstance, we’re bound to go INSIDE of our own brokenness to search for the missing pieces. Did I miss it? Was I supposed to go left and I should have gone right?

In Job 13 he pleads with God like this: “How many wrongs and sins have I committed? Show me my offense and my sin. Why do you hide your face and consider me your enemy?” (Job‬ ‭13‬:‭23‬-‭24‬ ‭NIV‬‬)

I think this is a good reminder that sometimes when we believe God is who He says He is AND we remember how often we fall short of His glory, we have a profound proclivity to be way too hard on ourselves as we spiral out. You know what else? When we do that, not only do we ascribe to a lesser version of ourselves than what He sees in us, but we also begin to think of those circumstances as bigger than our God.

You know what God does in the story of Job? For those that might read this piece and don’t know this story, don’t feel bad. It ain’t pretty. The story starts as the devil get back from roaming around the earth. He approaches God. God, then offers up Job (pronounced Jobe and rhymes with robe) as the test of faith. Satan argues that God has blessed and protected Job so, surely he will not curse you. So God grants the devil permission to destroy his life. Job loses everything, including all of his kids, his health and his wealth. Over the course of the next 37 chapters, I believe that Job experienced every single negative emotion and feeling known to mankind. He was isolated both spiritually and physically with leprosy and suicidal ideations. His friends and family and wife told him that it had to be his fault and that he should just curse God and die. Yet he resists the urge to curse God.

When asked how the story turns out, I think most people would sum up the ending where Job, as angry and frustrated with God as he was, and as frustrated and damning to himself as he was… he never cursed God. His anger and frustration manifested in honorable wrestling with God and even though his toil transformed into self deprecation, God restored everything that he had lost seven fold. God didn’t just make him whole, God 7x’d him. As some would say in today’s language.

But this isn’t what I think God just revealed to me, even in my writing of this piece. Stay with me. Time to land the plane.

In Job chapter 38, God enters the chat. “Then the Lord spoke to Job out of the storm. He said: “Who is this that obscures my plans with words without knowledge?” (Job‬ ‭38‬:‭1‬-‭2‬) This part is so powerful to me because for one, The Lord spoke to Job OUT OF THE STORM. As overwhelmed as I feel and as overwhelmed as you have felt… I don’t even need to ADD much to make the connection, but in case you missed it… God was in the storm. That’s the only way Job could have heard Him from the storm… is if He was IN the storm in the first place. I mean… that’ll preach all by itself. But then I noticed this. In the previous chapter, 37, Job was singing God's\ praises the best way he knew how. He was observing creation and pointing to the places where God was. He says, “Listen! Listen to the roar of his voice, to the rumbling that comes from his mouth. He unleashes his lightning beneath the whole heaven and sends it to the ends of the earth.” (Job‬ ‭37‬:‭2‬-‭3‬ )‭ Job is trying to find God IN THE STORM. His posture is such that it’s like he’s saying… his posture is such that it’s like I’m saying… I know You are in the storm, God because You are so powerful. I see you in the ways You have given me clear vision. I see it in the ways You have brought people alongside me. I know You are here but I’m overwhelmed and I need help, God.

Yeah… I blended the story into my story because the story is my story. And I can feel the conviction in my spirit that is God saying “Who is this that obscures my plans with words without knowledge?” The next part of the story is brutal… God tells Job to buck up and listen, like a man. He goes on to point out that it isn't even in our capacity to understand small parts of His greater design. ““Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand.” Job‬ ‭38‬:‭4‬. If you know so much Joel, explain what I’ve done… and if you cannot… You could never fathom what I’m going to do.

I have to share this next passage. I love God’s flex here because it starts to “right-size” our “overwhelming”.

“Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain, and a path for the thunderstorm, to water a land where no one lives, an uninhabited desert, to satisfy a desolate wasteland and make it sprout with grass? Does the rain have a father? Who fathers the drops of dew? From whose womb comes the ice? Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens when the waters become hard as stone, when the surface of the deep is frozen? “Can you bind the chains of the Pleiades? Can you loosen Orion’s belt? Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons or lead out the Bear with its cubs? Do you know the laws of the heavens? Can you set up God’s dominion over the earth? “Can you raise your voice to the clouds and cover yourself with a flood of water? Do you send the lightning bolts on their way? Do they report to you, ‘Here we are’?”

‭‭Job‬ ‭38‬:‭25‬-‭35‬ ‭NIV‬‬

That is the same God that called me a pastor. He’s the same God that qualified me to coach people's faith. That’s the same God that listens to me when I’m in tears and on the verge of giving up. He’s the same God that told me to write this NOW. The God that sends the lightning bolts on their way… and the same God that brings the constellations into season. That God is the same God that heard me weeping in the shower… a couple months ago. When all I could say is “God I don’t understand why you would call on ME to walk with Your kids in this way. I’m scared and I’m broken and my body hurts and I’m so limited in my capacity God and I don’t know if You picked the right guy. There’s people out there that can afford their rent and they are able to walk without pain and they have big pretty smiles and they don’t get outta breath when talking to fast… there are so many other choices God WHY ME. I need You as much as anyone else cuz I’m lost sometimes God. And I’m overwhelmed.

And through the tears and the sound of the hot shower, I heard Him say “this is why. This is why. Because when you are hurting, you come to me. When you are lost, you come to me. When you are happy, you thank me. This is why. Joel. This is what qualifies you to serve my kids. All I need from you is to bring them back to ME. This is why I chose you. This is what qualifies you.”

….

When I record this, I’m sure I will be in tears. Because I’m in tears now, as I write this.

My God is bigger than my overwhelmed-ness. Your God placed the stars in the sky. He has been thinking of you and loving you since you were in your mother’s womb.

You know something that I think God wanted to show us today? Being overwhelmed doesn’t always stem from having doubt in God. Sometimes it’s our confidence in God that causes our inadequacy to flare up and try to become the main character of the story. We think that, because God is good and all the time God is good, that when bad stuff happens, it’s our JOB (see what I did there) to figure it all out. When we run that cycle enough times in our mind, we start feeling things like “did I miss something God? Was I supposed to make a right and I made a left? Did I miss my blessing?”

But, instead, sometimes, God is just sayin “lemme cook”. I know you don’t know what I’m doing, how could you? Do you give birth to frost from the heavens that makes water hard as stone? In other words, all of the things that you don’t understand, I created them. Everything originated with me. You can’t miss a blessing that I have promised you. I am bigger than your overwhelmed-ness. I am working all things for your good. Period.

I don’t know who else needed this today but thank you so much, God for helping me with this message today.

Can I invite you to bow your head and pray with me? Lord, you know exactly where we are overwhelmed. You know the things that we are wrestling with the insecurities of our heart. You know the people that are in our lives that are hard to love. You know the ways that you want to stretch us and grow us to be not only more intimate with you but to be more intimate with our family, friends and coworkers. Thank you for giving us examples in the Bible of people who were overwhelmed too. It helps us to not feel so alone. It helps us to understand that it’s OK to wrestle with you and even to be frustrated and or angry. As long as we don’t blame you or curse you, God. Thank you for the ways that you allow us to question our circumstances and to call on you for help. We need your help God… So many of us are overwhelmed. Thank you for the reminder that your glory is so big and what you’ve done here on earth is so magnificent that there is no obstacle that could possibly stand in your way. Thank you for rightsizing our overwhelmed-ness.

Thank you for the reminder that you work all things out for your good. Be close to the brokenhearted God because when we’re in it, it’s so hard to feel the goodness of it. In Jesus Name,

Amen.

If this message blessed you and you want to support me in anyway, send this to a friend, like the message, subscribe to the Substack, donate to help keep the lights on… whatever you feel lead to do is appreciated and is going directly to keep a roof over our heads. That’s as real as I can put it. God knows how many times I have wanted to give up but it is way too clear that His hand is carrying me and catching me when I fall. I cannot fail with Him involved. The end… for now.

We will have a “Look at God” ministry update later this week… stay tuned. Reflecting on all He’s done continues to encourage us for all He’s going to do… even though we get overwhelmed sometimes.

❤️

Joel

Cashapp: $wehavetoshare

Zelle: [email protected]

Venmo: @joeldavidbarnes

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

Listen, I felt like I should sit down and record the impossibility of this day and the last few days… and this fell out. I am starting a more formal format for podcasting and SHAREing and even though it’ll probably, technically, get better than this… I genuinely pray that every time I open my mouth, I get to honor God’s calling like this …

You are not alone… and we’re gonna prove it.

💘

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

That was the question of the day today from my physical therapist, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. Of course I have to set the story up a bit better than that, but I promise, I’ll answer it, too.

Rough starts to my day are kinda normal, at this point. I was dealing with the usual pain stuff but there was an extra layer of dread in the mix today, as I walked over to PT. I’m scared that my right knee (my "healthy" knee), that has been doing most of the heavy lifting (literally) for the last 5 years, is starting to have problems and pain. I mention this at the start of the story because I think the most powerful thing that God has been doing in my life in the last few years is allowing me to stay receptive to whatever messages He has for me in a day… regardless of my pain. Pain consumes capacity. So for me to still be receptive to His messaging WHILE in pain… it means that He is divinely expanding my capacity to contemplate the “more” that He has for me.

I could stop right here. In gratitude. Because I know the days of overwhelming pain and circumstance all too well. I’m not always perfect at receiving it though. lol. I got off to a rough start with the PT today … even as I stood in the midst of Gods grace for me, my PT started to piss me off the second I got there.

He’s a floater Physical Therapist. Meaning, he doesn’t have a home office but he floats to cover wherever they need him. Today, someone in my normal PT office was out, and I got to work with him again. I think he’s a great dude btw. He’s always caring and always engaging. Matter of fact, he’s lowkey famous for his head-scratcher questions. He always asks SOMETHING of the whole office that makes you think outside of the box. “What’s the one movie you’d leave in a time capsule for them to find in 100 years?” “If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?” “What’s the largest animal you think you could beat in a fight?” He always asks questions like this and it gets the whole office talkin… every time. I love it.

But today when I limped in, he started with a couple case specific things for me. The one that irked me was when he asked me if I have experienced any difference in my pain level since the partial replacement. I said, “prior to surgery, I felt severe nerve pain. Now, I experience deep bone pain. So the pain is different… but still very prevalent.” His response wasn’t malicious. At all. But the nerd in him started pontificating about the fact that bones don’t have nerve endings… so technically you cannot have bone pain. I’m not gonna lie… I probably have some PTSD stuff going on here because of the fact that I’ve had so many people tell me that I wasn’t actually feeling something… and then they get an MRI back and then they realize… “oh. That. Yeah. That’s what you were talking about this whole time.” It’s actually traumatizing to be perfectly describing exactly what you are feeling…and everyone is telling you that it’s not real. I mean… for 2.5 years they told me that it was impossible to have as much pain as I was having in my knee. Then, one day, a plastic surgeon opened me up and let us all know that there were nerve endings trapped inside my knee capsule. She said, “You must be experiencing blinding pain when you put weight through this knee…” All of a sudden, everyone believed me. After dozens of appointments… and procedures… and surgeries.

So yeah… pain + PTSD is how I started my day.

I knew that he wasn’t being malicious. I knew that he was probably factually correct. And I also knew that he had no idea, yet, that my diagnosis of Bone Marrow Edema meant that my bone was literally swelling from the inside OUT… putting pressure on the implant in my knee and causing pretty severe pain. Bone pain. Even though, bone pain isn’t really a thing.

I shelved that initial reaction. I kinda let it fall away from my heart… like a weight I just didn’t need to hold onto. It wouldn’t do anything to serve me, and if I’m being honest, the more I’ve focused on bitterness, the more I’ve probably missed. I don’t know about you, but when I focus on the problems of the day, it makes me less receptive to catching the good parts of the day. It’s definitely not easy to stay positive though… and I definitely don’t always succeed at it. I get overwhelmed by the details of the day more often than I’d care to admit. But I am a work in progress. And I’m doing my best to live in the grace of God.

Then… the question.

What’s the best compliment that anyone could give you?

Without a pause, I said, “Oh that’s easy! Matter of fact, I’ve been kinda hearing it a lot lately. One person told me that when I talked to her it was like there was no one else in the room. That she felt seen and important in that moment. Someone else told me that they had experienced deep community in relationship with me. Someone else said… ‘my faith and prayer life has grown since meeting you’ … so yeah. The biggest compliment anyone could give me is that their relationship with God got better and I was there for it. Best compliment in life is that someone got closer to God because of something they experienced through me. Easy.”

Names and faces were popping into my head. Instantly. And I knew that the goal of the question, from a sociology or even psychological perspective is kinda meant to answer some much deeper questions. I know that it reveals the desires of your heart, but I hadn’t even had a chance to process all of that yet. This floodgate of feelings just gushed out of me. I think I was still answering as he had moved on to the next thing he had to do with his adjacent patient.

That was weird, God. What are You up to?

Then, while my mind, body and soul were wrapped up in the next series of exercises, he had ANOTHER wildly introspective question. His next questions was, “What makes you do the right thing?” This one created a little more pause in my soul… my initial thoughts were close, but not quite IT. First thing I thought, “the way my mom raised me”. Then, “oh, the Bible dictates a lot of this” then, “everything I’ve learned in church, etc.” But none of those were the exact right answer, until I it hit me. My Faith. It wasn’t the obvious first answer because I really HAVE been taught well by my mom. And the scriptures DO teach me a lot of the right moves to make. And I’d be remiss to discount all of the teachings that I have been on the receiving end of. But you know what? None of that means anything if you don’t believe it… none of it can come OUT of you until you internalize it and make it part of YOU. Faith allows God to let the beautifully beneficial lessons of life, land on your heart and transform you into a better and more “right thing” seeking version of yourself. It allows you to submit to His way… which is way better than your way. Faith gives you the confidence that you don’t deserve, to live the life that Only God could script for you.

Kinda like a painful day turning into an affirming day. Kinda like God bringing up all the things that you are wondering about and confirming to you that you are on the right track. Kinda like Him gently reminding you that He’s been in the story the whole time… even when your ptsd tries to steal your joy and revelation.

But why write about it? What’s SO big about this story that takes it from being a guy having a bad day to a guy that answered a few good questions?

Glad you asked. 😜

For awhile, now, I’ve been trying to imagine what it is that God wants me to do for work when I fully come out of this season. I’m still holding fast to the fact that I will have the necessary procedures to allow me to move past this position of pain or that God, himself, will place His hand on my body and He will heal me instantly. One of those things is going to happen. And it’s probably not going to happen how I could fathom it happening. But, for years now, while He was doing what only He can do, I’ve been doing what only I could do. My hands are off the wheel, but my foot is still on the gas. And… that’s a pretty cool visual, and all… but if I’m being honest honest… He’s in full control of everything and there have been days when I’m sucking my thumb crying in the backseat and I wake up from passing out and we’re in a whole new country with God. lol. That’s probably more accurate.

Today’s series of introspective questions and answers… comes less than 6 or 7 hours after I think God might have delivered my next mission title. Faith Coach.

Now imagine my morning through that lens… I barely slept because my mind had been racing. I had spent a few hours with some friends who love me and were kind of brainstorming with me around where they saw that God might be leading me. We kicked around a lot of ideas that make sense. Podcasting. Interviewing. Holding space for people to share. Obviously ministry. Clearly serving people. But here’s my problem… yes to all of it. And also … I’d do all this for free for the rest of my friggin life if I could. I mean… this is what I do now. Everyday. Full time. For years. I walk with people. Through the good and the bad. Period. I do life with them. And every time I have a meltdown and beg God to show me what to do next… He points to exactly what I’m doing now! But I’m like… ok… well where is the paycheck God? I need this to tangibly make sense.

So then my friends say “Life Coach”. And I hear God say…. “Close! But dig here”. So I’m meditating on this life coach concept… and I’m shooting holes in it left and right. Eh, I’m not good at this, not qualified for that… not even really sure what the heck a life coach is. I already do LIFE with people but I think it’s their faith that God lets me walk the closest with. Aha… Faith Coach.

I felt this holy qualification fall on me as the words came out of me. I may not know how to create a 5 year plan… might not know how to maximize your investment portfolio… but you know what I CAN do? Hold some holy space for you and spend some time with you in ‘SHAREapy’ and see how God wants to use it to help grow our faith together. I am a Faith Coach. Already. And I’ve been tested in ways that I never could have expected and I have ended up having my faith grow deeper and stronger than ever. What the enemy meant for evil… God has been using it for my good. And now we’re here. In a storyline that only the Holy Spirit could write. Yeah... we’re going to write pieces that are both blog posts and podcast episodes. We’re going to continue to publish Bible studies and resources that give people tools for growing their faith and facilitating connection to others who seek to do the same. We’re going to keep telling the stories of the miracles that God is doing in the world right now. Yeah… all of it.

I think the piece that I’m the most excited about is walking with more people. Intentionally. Empathetically. SHAREing. It feel exciting that with even the very FEW people that I’ve SHAREd this idea with, they do the “ohhhh. I love that” thing. And the “yeah. That makes total sense” thing. It fits in my head. It makes sense and it feels like it’s something that I can develop systems and processes around. Yeah, I’d do it all for free for the rest of my life but God also knows that we have to put food on the table and keep a roof over our heads. So it will be interesting to see how this all works out. I know it will because look at what God is doing… I didn’t do any of this. I didn’t even have the idea. He did. I didn’t come up with SHAREapy. He did. All I got to do was put it into practice and reap the benefits that I can now share with the world.

And then, I went to my PT appointment, with this Faith Coach idea rattling around in my tired brain, and I got to hear product testimonials come out of my own mouth about how I already have gotten to be a Faith Coach… and God is already at work there. Nothing is by coincidence. And this question just confirmed it. Of course God wants me to keep doing this and to take it to the next level. Of course He wants me to walk in my purpose and flourish in it. Of course He wants to provide for me and my family as I shepherd His kids through this crazy thing called life. Of course this is it. My spirit feels so much joy around the sheer thought of helping people to grow their relationship with God because without Him I wouldn’t have made it. Of course I want to share this gift with as many people as possible but also just the ONE that may have strayed away. Or the one that has questions. Or the one that is suffering and feels alone. Or the one that is on their own mountain top season and wants to help others get there too.

God knows that I need Him to point to the thing He wants me to do with a big neon arrow and I know that He’s doing that with this. I want to keep following His signs and wonders, and walk the path that He is paving for me. I know it’s not conventional, and it’ll probably sound weird to a lot of people. But I know He’s making a way for me. I know He’s got His hand on my life… and I know that wherever I go with Him, life will be lived to the fullest.

Joel Barnes - Faith Coach - at your service.

❤️

p.s. your answer this the question, ‘What’s the best compliment you could receive’ … probably reveals your passion. It might even reveal your purpose…

I’m just getting started…

Thank you again for all of the support!!

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This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wehavetoshare.substack.com/subscribe

It’s time for an update! I’ve been wanting to do this and dreading doing this (at the same time) for a long time. I have so many prayer warriors. 😭 🙏🏽 So many. And I am so so thankful. So many people from my mom’s Facebook page that have steadily held me and my family up in prayer … so many people that are following along as I have updated and prayed… so many people who I’ve never even met in person but that have grown deep relationships with over the years as I’ve navigated this season. Whether you are a person that has told me that you are praying or not, or a person that has supported me through this season in any way or if you are a person that has cheered from the sidelines, or even someone that’s seen the updates and had this strange confidence that “he’ll make it out of this season. I just know he will.” I appreciate it all. You have no idea. I’ll get into some of that in a bit but first up… the happy part of the update.

I realized that I needed to do an update because, the other day, someone who I see relatively often, admitted that he had forgotten that I was in a rough season. Even though I still use a cane to walk, he had no idea that was because of pain. Nah… it didn’t hurt my feelings at all, (even though, come to think of it, in the past, it might have) but as matter of fact, it was quite encouraging to me. He said that when a person shows up for others and serves and connects and engages with them, you don’t often think about the pain that they, themselves might be in. I think this is super important for us all to realize about anyone. If I’m being honest. My situation is a bit different, but so often we see the first one to jump in and help as the “ok” one… when a lot of the time, the more eager someone is to help, the more desperately they are in need of a sense of purpose… to help… them. I have definitely stepped back into service of others because it was also ME that needed it. But in this case, what it meant to me was that people weren’t looking at me through the lens of my limitations… but rather through the success of my service. Gosh, guys… let me tell you how much of a miracle that is to me.

First, though, I need you to understand that everything that I have been doing, has been by the grace of God. Since September of 2024, I have: served at 2 Alpha courses, written my first of many Bible study books that is available for purchase on Amazon, I’ve been in the word of God everyday, I’ve organized a weekly small group based on the biblical example of community building, I’ve walked with a dozen plus people through some really difficult things, I’ve stepped fully into ministry… and after God directed me towards “consistency”, I post daily scriptures, and messages on multiple @wehavetoshare channels to help share the word of God and to also deepen my knowledge, wisdom and passion for the Bible. The directions He’s given me in the last 9 months, the things He’s allowed me to see about my season, the connection that He has fostered…. It’s simply an Only God story… already. I am living out a story that only HE could have written. Yeah. A lot of it sucks. Still sucks. A lot of it is still very difficult to navigate and manage. But I think I can make an attempt to explain where we’re at in this season by sharing with you a vision that I got from God a couple years ago.

Well, first, let me say that I didn’t know that I would be sharing this vision with you yet. I thought this was going to be the grand finale of a season of suffering. A big tadaaa story. And who knows… maybe it will be. But, I have been compelled by the Spirit to share this with you right now. As it stands. A miracle in progress. So… here we go.

He showed my season like the life cycle of a butterfly. More specifically, the cocooning process. When He showed me it, I knew almost nothing extraordinary about the lifecycle of a butterfly. You probably have the same exact knowledge that I had. A caterpillar, a long worm lookin bug, walks on a bunch of legs, eats leaves all day. When I was a kid, the caterpillar was the one responsible for boring the holes in the apples in all of the coloring books. The nature of the caterpillar was one that was limited to crawling around on its belly from limb to limb, eating its way through life. I remember thinking, that with respect to what it would become, a beautiful fluttering butterfly, the caterpillar seemed limited in its capacity to defend itself from predators and even though it was cute in my ABC book… it was underwhelming, to look at, to say the least.

What I knew of the next process was pretty basic, as well. The caterpillar (for whatever reason) decided to hang from a leaf or branch and then it forms a cocoon around it and ultimately pops out as a butterfly. I just kind of assumed that its body segment became the middle of the butterfly and it went into the cocoon to grow wings. Then, when it emerges, it has changed. Now, all of a sudden, it knows how to fly. Now, it was able to reach even greater potential and demonstrate even greater beauty. I felt like it was a pretty simple metaphor for me to understand. Matter of fact, out of all the prayers I have prayed and failed to revisit… along with THIS vision came one of my most brutal and powerful reminders. Mind you… at the first receipt of this vision, I felt like I was already in the cocoon phase of my season. But I remembered praying a very very specific prayer a few years earlier.

“Less of me God. And more of you. Transform me from the inside out.” (Yes, there’s a popular worship song that says this as well as scripture to match)

I had no idea how literal the Lord was going to take that prayer. I had no idea how much MORE there was to that vision and the metaphor that I thought I understood. He was entering me into the metamorphosis phase and in His gracious nature, he gave me the beautiful vision of a butterfly being delivered from the cocoon, to hold onto. That vision has sustained me through dozens of procedures, insurmountable pain and now 7 major surgeries. When I have been able to remember the cocoon, I have been able to remember what comes next. The cracking of the cocoon. The emergence of a new thing. The spreading of wings to dry… moments before a formerly foreign way to move becomes manifested as an effortless flutter.

Hope. He showed me hope.

And as beautiful of an image as that was to see, both then and now, the reality was there was SO much more happening in that cocoon that I could ever have known.

I’ve studied the lifecycle of the butterfly and gosh… the cocoon is such a hard place to be. Both literally and figuratively. Not only does the caterpillar change in the cocoon… it completely ceases to exist. It begins its journey by attaching a thread of silk to the underside of a leaf or branch. The entire next process is held together by a thread of silk. I have thought numerous times over the years that I felt like I was holding on by a thread… the cocoon is literally doing just that. Tossed to and fro by the wind and the elements and tugged on by the growth and metamorphosis of the butterfly. That has come to represent the tangible strength and power of God, to me. If you ever watch a time-lapse of a butterfly developing in a cocoon, it looks like it is trying to come loose from the grip of the silk that connects it to the branch. Almost as if it’s fighting to pull away but the soft and simple power of God keeps it close. Keeps us close. As much as we resist Him and our own transformation.. He stays connected to us through it.

Then!! I started learning about what was going on INSIDE of the cocoon. Holy smokes. This is where I have had the hardest time with the metaphor AND it has also made the MOST sense. After connecting to the branch or leaf, the caterpillar begins to shed it’s exterior, which gives way to what’s called the chrysalis that forms the outside of the cocoon. The real work begins. The caterpillar begins to excrete an enzyme that completely melts and destroys the form that we once knew. Nothing survives this part of the process. Everything becomes new except the core DNA. New body, new legs, new head, new face. He makes all things new...and in doing so, He brings the insect into its most fulfilling and purposeful part of its life. This was where I began to understand that my prayer, for less of me, and more of Him, was happening in the darkness of my own cocooning season. Everything about me has changed…except the DNA of what my purpose was destined to be. Everything about my life in the past was the caterpillar headed to the cocoon. When I started praying those transformational prayers… transformation got the green light to begin.

Has it been what I expected? Well, no. It’s been much much worse than I ever could have imagined it being. Just being honest. But I would never change the way God has been changing me in this cocoon season.

Matter of fact, let me fill you in on exactly where I’m at physically on May 28th 2025. I had my 7th surgery on October 21st 2024 and it was a partial knee replacement. The surgeon admittedly “went conservative” with the decision to do a partial and not the full. Unfortunately, he probably should have replaced the full knee and let me get a clean slate at healing from that point forward. What it’s meant that he didn’t do the full, is that I am, unfortunately, still in a ton of pain. Daily. And with any increased activity through the knee, it can knock me down for days on end. My pain lives around a 6/7 out of 10 regularly but when I stand or sit for a long time, it escalates. Pretty severely. I try to cook every Sunday for me and Hannah to have a good meal for the week and every Monday is rough because of it.

Yes, I am trying to build up the social media and I’m writing when I can and I’m living out this ministry every single day in every way that I can. But the fact of the matter is, my health still isn’t stable enough to work. Last week, I did step ups at physical therapy… all I did was step up on a 6 inch platform 30 times…. And it nearly put me in the hospital. I had a friend point out that out of all of the ministry stories that I had shared with her, and even though she was empathizing with my pain and my desire to work, so much of the ministry stuff that I do wouldn’t be possible if I did, in fact, have a 9-5. And trust me. I love it. I’m not one to cite the numbers or the analytics around what I do in a week and who I walk with, and how it all makes sense to the Kingdom. But I am wealthy where it counts. Even though I still need prayer for provision. He always provides. He didn’t bring me all this way to forsake me. I know that.

I’m not a butterfly yet. But I’m also not perilously dangling from the ground expecting the thread to snap either. I haven’t been able to stretch my wings… but I can feel them in my back. I’m not fully out of the cocoon yet… but it’s cracked open and I can feel the breeze outside. I can smell the fresh air. I can anticipate the taste sweet of the pollen. I can begin to imagine what it will feel like to fly. For all of that, Lord, I thank you.

You know. While I was writing this piece in my head, I knew that I wanted to say “guys… it’s not all rainbows and butterflies, yet… but we’re on the way.” I’ve always used that analogy but today, I really thought about rainbows and butterflies within the context of this piece that I’m writing. I also cannot help but filter everything through what I learned in the Bible. Rainbows in the Bible represent the promises of God. In Genesis 9, God uses the rainbow to remind Himself and mankind of His commitment to our life on earth. It represents His mercy and faithfulness in our lives, through it all. And now, having had the benefit of reflecting on the butterfly for the last few years, I think the butterfly represents deep transformation into the version of us that God has intended for us to become. His plan is never for the caterpillar to stay a caterpillar. His plan is for it to transform into its greater and more purposeful self. The process is dark and scary and lonely sometimes. But as we also know from the lonely cocoon and from the lonely tomb… God tends to do His best and transformational work, in dark and difficult seasons.

I think I planned on going deep into the butterfly metaphor a bit later because it’s always more fun to look back at a difficult season and say “look what God did!” But instead, even though I’m not fully out of the cocoon yet, I get to report “look at what God is doing!“ Yeah, I cannot explain to you how low I have been in this season. I cannot explain to you how confused I’ve been when I do exactly what God tells me to do and yet I still end up struggling so much. I cannot tell you how discouraging it’s been to deal with pain on this level, to struggle this financially, to navigate a season with so little control. I may never be able to truly communicate how close to the edge that I have been in certain moments in this season. But it makes complete sense that a butterflies cocoon of transformation is held together by a thin thread. Because it is only by the grace of God that the thread didn’t pop and I didn’t fall further than I could recover from. God has been so good to me, even though I’ve walked through the valley of the shadow of death.

As I wrap up this piece, I would love to invite you to follow what I’m up to on social media… Hopefully that’ll start helping. I would love for you to share this newsletter with people that you think it may help. And I am not above letting you guys know that financial support is still very much appreciated. I’ll leave links at the bottom to do so if you feel lead. Hannah is going to Loyola University and we’ve got dorm dues and we have a bunch to do to help her get situated, etc. Please keep praying for God to show me how to make ends meet. I really am just doing my best to follow His lead on everything and to do whatever He tells me to do. Pray for healing and pain relief.. believe it or not, I’m actually in a bunch of pain right now from physical therapy today but more and more, I can feel God beating back the pain to let my mind work. Pain has been shown to change neuropath ways which can damage a persons ability to think clearly and be creative. I have felt this and at times it’s hard to write, but to God be the glory… today… I’m writing… despite the pain.

I’m still expectant. The cocoon has been cracked. Pray for me as I push my way out and with God’s blessing, stretch my wings and begin to fly. I am confident in His promise.

🌈🦋

Joel

All the things!

Thank you again for all of the support!!

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