How important is it for someone you’re dating to be a good texter? Does this show that he’s just not that interested in you? Or is it a red flag for someone who isn’t going to be a good communicator in other ways? In this episode, Olivia fights for the importance of being a good texter especially early on. There’s something about keeping the intrigue there in between dates, and even keeping other more negative thoughts at bay (“is he just a bad texter or is he ghosting me?”).

In this episode’s 60 Second Sips, we talk about swiping related to food and eating habits. And we learn that while Amy is okay with questionable texting behaviors, she’s okay with someone feeding her on a first date. And just for the record, ranch is gross.

And since we’re disagreeing about everything this episode anyway, we might as well talk about bedtime now that we’re in our thirties. This includes the appropriate amount of sleep to get, sleep hygiene habits, caffeine intake, melatonin, sleep sounds, sleepytime tea, and more. This becomes a surprisingly heated discussion; did we all wake up on the wrong side of the bed today??

We wrap up this argumentative episode by talking about something else we disagree about – friends with benefits! Are we too old for this? Is a good FWB relationship the exception and not the rule? Is it possible to be FWB without complications? Mom, stop listening when we get to this part of the episode!

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What is Shots & Thoughts? We're three 30-somethings hosting a podcast about dating, relationships, and life in general.

Follow us: @ShotsThoughtsPod on Instagram and @ShotsThoughts on Twitter.

Intro music: A Himitsu - Adventures: youtu.be/8BXNwnxaVQE

Are we too old for stereotypical bachelorette parties? You know what I’m talking about – coordinated outfits, penis straws, the “power hour” drinking game, sucker bouquets, the bachelorette scavenger hunt. This conversation quickly dissolves into our opinions about all sorts of bachelorette party topics, including big bachelorette party trips and what party guests may be asked to pay for in these celebrations.

This conversation obviously wouldn’t be complete without us telling stories of some of the craziest bachelorette parties we’ve either been on or heard about. We’re talking about cheating, broken sinks, positive pregnancy tests, skinny dipping gone wrong, tattooed wieners, and what was basically an episode of “Cops” on a drunken tubing trip. It’s a wild ride! Better have your drinks ready for these stories.

Amy then takes us through 60 Second Sips, which leads to a tangent about whether or not a little bit of jealousy can be okay in a relationship. And of course confirmation that we couldn’t date any flat earthers. Obviously.

Finally, we take a deep dive into weddings. Like, you know that year when tons of your friends got married and it broke you both financially and emotionally? Yeah, we’re talking about that, plus we chat about wedding etiquette and traditions changing for our generation.

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What is Shots & Thoughts? We're three 30-somethings hosting a podcast about dating, relationships, and life in general.

Follow us: @ShotsThoughtsPod on Instagram and @ShotsThoughts on Twitter.

Intro music: A Himitsu - Adventures: youtu.be/8BXNwnxaVQE

Would you respond to a random text message from a number you didn’t recognize? Ashley got a pretty harmless text that quickly transitioned to flirty (especially when he admitted to what he had her name saved as in his phone). What would you have done or said? And seriously, we know it’s been a loooong pandemic, but how bored do you have to be to be going through your phone and texting random women you no longer remember??

Next, we talk about two different Netflix Shows: “Sexy Beasts” and “Love is Blind: After the Alter.” Amy was the only one brave enough to make it through the cringey show “Sexy Beasts” where people dress up in costume and intense makeup to try and see if they can make a love connection without physical attraction. Sorry but we think being distracted by the costumes is too big of a hurdle to overcome.

As you all know, we all really liked “Love is Blind” and so we were obviously jazzed about the reunion episodes. We were not prepared for the drama! Spoilers in this episode, so we highly recommend giving the show a watch before listening to us hash out some of the new drama as well as old issues that haven’t been resolved. And as always, we love when friends stick up for friends.

Ashley takes inspiration from “After the Alter” for this week’s 60 Second Sips, which leaves Amy and Olivia taking multiple drinks – she really got us this time! Finally, we round out this episode talking about how our generation has gone from SPF 5 and tanning bed addictions to fancy daily facial sunscreen and protective clothing. Yes, we want the sunshine vitamin just as much as anyone else, but not at the cost of wrinkles or skin cancer! Also, friendly reminder that sunscreen does expire. Just saying. And of course, this episode wouldn’t be complete without discussing if we are too old for … flip flops. Can’t wait to see what you think when we poll this topic on Instragram!

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What is Shots & Thoughts? We're three 30-somethings hosting a podcast about dating, relationships, and life in general.

Follow us: @ShotsThoughtsPod on Instagram and @ShotsThoughts on Twitter.

Intro music: A Himitsu - Adventures: youtu.be/8BXNwnxaVQE

In this episode, we dive into this question: Do you always know the attributes or type of person that would be the best fit for you? Inspired by this season of Married at First Sight, we wonder if people truly understand what personality types mesh well together. Can a neat freak date someone less uptight about cleanliness? By disliking someone for an interest in sports, are you judging them and assuming they don’t have other interests that may be compatible with you? Ashley reminds us that just because someone is a perfect fit on paper, doesn’t mean they’re the right person in real life.

How do you choose to advertise yourself on dating apps? If there’s something someone might judge you incorrectly for (such as being a pageant competitor), would you leave that off your profile? Or, conversely, what stereotypes are you judging people for on the apps? Is there any way around this initial judgement in the world of online dating? You have to filter people in and out somehow!

After some 60 Second Sips where Olivia forces Ashley and Amy to decide how much of an age gap is too much, we dive into SELF CARE. That’s right. We’re busy and tired. You’re busy and tired. So we’re taking some time to recommit to taking good care of ourselves. Sometimes that’s face masks. Sometimes that’s setting boundaries with work, especially now that many of us are working from home. And sometimes it’s enjoying old TV shows! We also talk about exercise and healthy eating being key components of self care.

Also, Olivia lives in a swamp so if you see her walking her dog in a full suit of mosquito netting don’t be shocked. And Amy may have narcolepsy. That is all.

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What is Shots & Thoughts? We're three 30-somethings hosting a podcast about dating, relationships, and life in general.

Follow us: @ShotsThoughtsPod on Instagram and @ShotsThoughts on Twitter.

Intro music: A Himitsu - Adventures: youtu.be/8BXNwnxaVQE

In this episode, Ashley – our resident retired pageant competitor – takes us into a deep dive into the world of pageants. She tells us stories about catty women, backstage sabotage, sprinting in six inch heels, butt tape, the cost of the dresses, the cringey Q&A portion, and she even discusses if the swim suit portion of these competitions should still be a thing. Any guesses what her talent would be if she could do it all again?! You’ll never guess. Never.

Amy then runs us through a more serious 60 second sips that has both Ashley and Olivia getting a little tipsy. Which takes us back to the age-old question of “can you stay friends with your exes?” which quickly devolves into a discussion about whether it’s okay if a guy brings up his ex in conversation on the first couple dates. Not going to lie, we bring up some good points in both directions. And let’s be real – we’re all getting old so let’s get the details out on the table now we can proceed with this thing or not. Ha!

What do you think about your ex reaching out to your family for “business purposes”? Is that a line you don’t cross or it’s water under the bridge? Olivia also talks about being way more butt-hurt about Ashley’s past relationships than Ashley is. If that doesn’t make much sense, give the episode a listen.

Oh, and we’re curious what your thoughts are on this … are we too old for edibles? This, of course, comes from a real-life dating story and leaves us pondering how often is too often to be enjoying pot brownies.

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What is Shots & Thoughts? We're three 30-somethings hosting a podcast about dating, relationships, and life in general.

Follow us: @ShotsThoughtsPod on Instagram and @ShotsThoughts on Twitter.

Intro music: A Himitsu - Adventures: youtu.be/8BXNwnxaVQE

First and foremost, #Bucksin6. Even though Olivia watched a movie Amy recommended instead. The movie was "Good on Paper" which is based on a true life story of Iliza Shlesinger, the standup comedian. Like she talks about in the movie... why is a persistent guy seen as a positive thing, whereas a persistent girl is seen as crazy? Not fair. We also discuss a lot of the red flags for the guy in the movie, including that she hadn't seen where he lived. You can learn a lot about a person based on where they live! After Olivia survives almost spewing kombucha out her nose, we talk about what's the difference between trusting your gut versus getting in your own way? Also, we determine that it's a big red flag if you never meet a guy's friends. Gotta pass the friend check!

If you wanted to fast forward past spoilers, head to 23:09 (holy crap, we talk about that movie for a looooong time). This is when Olivia goes through real profiles she's seen on the apps to get Ashley and Amy's reactions. Please help me interpret this one: "You won't be taken seriously until you prove you can be." Whaaaaa? Needless to say, Ashley and Amy want to send a lot of these guys to therapy. Or start "What Not to Wear" but for men's dating profiles. 

60 Second Sips starts at 32:17 and we disagree about men who talk too much and men who want you to mow the lawn. No thanks, sir. We then get into our favorite summer boozy drinks, and Olivia explains what your drink of choice means about you. If you're the type of person who likes Long Island Iced Teas, you're not going to be thrilled with your assessment. Blame the internet, not us! And finally, we wondering if we're too old for certain things around the house -- plastic plates and cups, extensive DVD collections, and LoveSacs. 

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What is Shots & Thoughts? We're three 30-somethings hosting a podcast about dating, relationships, and life in general.

Follow us: @ShotsThoughtsPod on Instagram and @ShotsThoughts on Twitter.

Intro music: A Himitsu - Adventures: youtu.be/8BXNwnxaVQE

In this episode, we're chatting about the weird things Olivia is seeing on the dating apps, including men openly sharing on their profiles that they've been snipped or refusing to list their job. Plus, what's this whole "breadcrumbing" thing? Is it just a fancy way of saying you're leading someone on? And while we decide breadcrumbing is crappy, is it worse than someone asking you out for a date last minute? In Amy's famous words... It depends!! And it's probably just easier to have a friend who will drop everything to get ice cream with you anyway.

Olivia goes on a date with a Harry Potter fan (in the spirit of "What Would Ashley & Amy Do?") and let's be clear that there's a firm line here that doesn't go to the level of Live Action Role Playing. Things we're less clear about? What the hell someone of these new Gen Z words and phrases really mean. And since Olivia is still a little salty about being called cheugy in the last episode, she's hitting Ashley and Amy with the Gen Z Word Game. For every term you don't get correct, that's a drink. Draking? Capping? Wig?? Might as well just pour two right away, folks. 

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What is Shots & Thoughts? We're three 30-somethings hosting a podcast about dating, relationships, and life in general.

Follow us: @ShotsThoughtsPod on Instagram and @ShotsThoughts on Twitter.

Intro music: A Himitsu - Adventures: youtu.be/8BXNwnxaVQE

"There's no reason, other than the fact that I have a vagina, that you think he can't be around me... and that's bullshit!" Things really heat up in this episode when we chat about Girl Code. Are you allowed to date a friend's crush? Does it make a difference if he's part of the friend group? What about a friend's brother? Or, her ex? Even if it was am amicable breakup, would it be to weird to hear your friend talk about your ex in that way? And what about "uteruses before duderuses" -- do your friends really always come before the person you're dating, or is it more complicated than that? Messy, messy, messy.

After a round of 60 Second Sips where we make it very clear that we will not tolerate being left on read, we chat about the holiday party where Olivia got hammered (and accidentally exposed someone's affair?!) and Ashley was told she needed to flirt to get promotions. I'm sorry, what now? If you work in a messed up environment, we can assure you that you don't have to stoop to their level to get ahead, no matter what the morons say. 

And, while we're on the topic of jobs, how far is too far to re-connect with someone who may be able to help you get a job? Would you consider using the address of a home sale listing someone posted on Facebook to send them a card too far? After being sufficiently creeped out by this overstep, we end this episode by chatting about home décor with words on it and if we're too old (or, too young) for that style of decorating. Cross stitch in the bathroom though? That's cool no matter what. 

Happy 4th of July everyone! Stay safe and ... cheers!

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What is Shots & Thoughts? We're three 30-somethings hosting a podcast about dating, relationships, and life in general.

Follow us: @ShotsThoughtsPod on Instagram and @ShotsThoughts on Twitter.

Intro music: A Himitsu - Adventures: youtu.be/8BXNwnxaVQE

Is dating getting a bit too... analytical? In this episode we're chatting all about dating spreadsheets, Google doc applications, and even dating business cards. Do you think if you're at the point of needing a spreadsheet to keep your dates straight, you're seeing too many people at once? And while these dating applications seem like an efficient way to get around small talk (which, dudes, you are terrible at), we found quite a few holes in this plan. And let's not forget about dating business cards; at first this seemed like a quirky way to give your info to people IRL, but Ashley and Amy were more skeptical. Does this seem desperate, like someone who is trying to settle down too fast? Or are you a player (how many other people did you hand out cards to today?!), or even insincere? And while we count a number of downsides to this plan, Ashley and Amy are still convinced they should make cards for Olivia and hand them out on her behalf. Oh boy...

After a fun game of 60 Second Sips which has us pondering which careers we would or wouldn't want to date, we discuss the very random assortment of bougie items we've bought (or wish we could). If you've been seeing that Dyson Airwrap everywhere like we have, maybe you've been pondering this purchase too... or at least until you've seen the price tag. Sheesh! Do you like buying designer shoes and purses? Fancy cars?Or robot lawn mowers?! Ah, if money wasn't an issue. Cheers to that!

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What is Shots & Thoughts? We're three 30-somethings hosting a podcast about dating, relationships, and life in general.

Follow us: @ShotsThoughtsPod on Instagram and @ShotsThoughts on Twitter.

Intro music: A Himitsu - Adventures: youtu.be/8BXNwnxaVQE

In this episode, we’re diving right in to talk about using a matchmaker. It sounds spendy, not very efficient, and questionably effective if you’re not finding different people than you could find on the apps. Should a matchmaker have a certain education background? How well should they get to know you first before they match you? Should they seek the assistance of a psychic?

One of the matchmakers had a rule: No texting before the date. Does this help prevent any preconceived notions about the other person and keep the daters more open minded? Or does it add stress to the first date?

After a quick round of 60 Second Sips, we talk about tiny houses and living out of a van. This seems to be a big trend prompted by the pandemic and people working more remotely, and we discuss whether or not this is really feasible for us. We have a lot of questions about composting toilets, for starters. And as Ashley so aptly points out, we wonder if social media glamorizes living in a teeny space when really it’s probably a huge headache. If you’re also curious, consider following @wander.onwheels and @vanswerthecall on Instagram (and don’t forget to follow us, too, if you haven’t yet!).

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What is Shots & Thoughts? We're three 30-somethings hosting a podcast about dating, relationships, and life in general.

Follow us: @ShotsThoughtsPod on Instagram and @ShotsThoughts on Twitter.

Intro music: A Himitsu - Adventures: youtu.be/8BXNwnxaVQE