"You be the therapist". What counsel would you give a wife who is deciding if she should tell her husband about an affair she had years ago? Should you even try to fix a marriage that has been dead for a dozen years?

Listener questions and comments:

• Lori - I would have the woman go to spiritual direction. The truth has to come out. I also recommend a 12 step program.
• Mary - They can't have intimate love if they're not communicating. A goal would be a date night, and maybe seek a good therapist.
• George - On the first scenario: That's what confession is for. On the 2nd scenario: They should do Retrouvaille.
• Alley - I was the one who had an affair. You have to know your husband very well. My husband did forgive me but he never forgot.
• Joe - The woman shouldn't tell. That would be cruel.
• John - The first lady needs to have a conversation with her husband. The second situation: We went through a patch like that. They need to talk and decide what to do.
• Alex - For the woman who cheated: If she's a practicing Catholic, she needs to go to confession. The second situation: If they are in separate beds, they need to talk it out and get down to nitty gritty.