Show The F*ck Up

"Good girls" conform to societal expectations & are well-behaved. People pleasers have a lack of personal boundaries, avoid conflict to gain approval & prioritize everyone above themselves. I think of people pleasing and the "good girl" mentality as similar concepts because they both lead to self abandonment.

WHAT IS SELF ABANDONMENT?

When we self abandon we suppress our own feelings, wants, needs, desires and ambitions in order to please others or maintain a certain image of being "good". This can lead to a lack of self care, self expression and fulfillment.

THE REALITY OF WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE SELF ABANDON IS THAT WE LOSE OURSELVES!!!!

(I've been there!) And I want to help you break free from people pleasing & the "good girl" mentality. Because guess what?

It's okay to disappoint people!!

How did it make you feel to read that? If you're anything like me, it made you squirm a little. But it's true! It's okay to disappoint people, and it's okay to decide you're DONE being a "good girl".

In today's episode, I'm diving into the "Good Girl" Mentality, what it is, and how you can enter into a stage of authenticity in your life - starting now. I share some TOP TIPS for breaking free from "good girl" expectations and the ways you can begin to take back your power so you can discover YOUR wants, needs & desires and get in touch with your most authentic self.

I'm exploring:

• The "Good Girl" Mentality and the role it plays in our lives & relationships
• How this mentality has influenced me (and a look at my own healing around it)
• The people-pleasing behaviors that could be holding you back from your truest self
• TOP TIPS to help you rebel against the "Good Girl" Mentality!
• My challenge for you this week
• And more

Connect with me: https://www.instagram.com/jewelsdaly/

And follow the Show the F*ck Up podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/showthef.up/

I need you to hear this… you are not alone in your mental health struggle.

There is help out there for you, and hope for brighter days ahead.

You just have to keep going.

This week, I invite the courageous Shaly Naber to share her story of depression and the hard work it took for her to find healing and peace. We discuss when she first discovered her mental health struggle, the hurdle of finding a therapist that was right for her, and putting the work in to take responsibility and move forward. Join us for this powerful message and a reminder that there is hope if you just "keep going".

We're exploring:

• Shaly's story of depression & her journey toward healing
• Her first memory of struggling with her mental health
• Talking to a pastor about how she was feeling & what came from it
• Advice for finding the therapist who is right for you
• What to do when you just "don't want to"
• The mindset shifts & resources that have helped Shaly move forward in her mental health journey
• And more

Connect with Shaly:

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@naberfinance?_t=8dXsJWWYX3y&_r=1

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/naberfinance/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA%3D%3D

Follow the Show the F*ck Up podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/showthef.up/

Resources mentioned in the episode:

Can't Hurt Me, by David Goggins: https://www.audible.com/pd/Cant-Hurt-Me-Audiobook/B07KKMNZCH?source_code=ASSORAP0511160006&share_location=pdp

Never Finished, by David Goggins: https://www.audible.com/pd/Never-Finished-Audiobook/B0BJ34FWZ3?source_code=ASSORAP0511160006&share_location=pdp

Be Obsessed or Be Average, by Grant Cardone: https://www.audible.com/pd/Be-Obsessed-or-Be-Average-Audiobook/B01H43LCPW?source_code=ASSORAP0511160006&share_location=library_overflow

Mega Strong Fitness, the virtual workout program: https://www.megastrongfitness.com/

Shame is at the core of all wounding, it pierces the soul and attacks our identity. So, what do we do with the shame once we know it's there?

In today's episode, we are diving into healing the shame wound as Sondra shares her experiences with the true message of grace, how to get to a place of receiving it in your own life, and the inner belief systems that could be holding you back.

Ready to talk about the one, true solution to shame? Come explore the message of grace with us in this last installment of the Shame Series with Sondra Sabourin!

We're exploring:

• Healing shame & Sondra's path to receiving grace
• The 5 characters of the "Give up, Try Hard" cycle (and the important addition of the "Rest Cycle")
• How you can get to a place of receiving and allowing grace in
• Inner belief systems that could be holding you back from healing your shame
• The conditioning around "performance" in our lives (and applying the message of grace to it instead)
• And more

Connect with me: https://www.instagram.com/jewelsdaly/

And follow the Show the F*ck Up podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/showthef.up/

Connect with Sondra:

The Secret Place

[email protected]

Resources referenced in the episode:Tired of Trying to Measure Up: Getting Free from the Demands, Expectations, and Intimidation of Well-Meaning People, by Jeff Van Vonderen https://a.co/d/4WfFPv8

Shame is not an emotion - it is a belief.

It's a belief that lies to us and keeps us stuck in a negative self-concept. But where does it come from? And how can you release this belief in your own life so you can live a life based on truth and freedom.

On today's episode of Show the F*ck Up, we are starting a 2-part series on shame as I invite licensed counselor, Sondra Sabourin, to discuss shame and the shame wound - acknowledging it's existence by defining what it is & understanding where it comes from.

Is shame holding you captive? Join us for this powerful episode. (And don't forget to come back next week for part 2!)

We're exploring:

• The difference between guilt and shame, there is a BIG difference
• Understanding shame is a belief and its effect on your life
• The lies that shame tells us, and how to release them!
• Meeting our deepest needs for the A's (acceptance, approval, affirmation...)
• Exploring the belief of "I'm never good enough" and its relationship to shame
• The important practice of uncoupling behavior and identity
• The Shame Grid - and what you need to know about it!
• How old you were when your belief system was actually formed (this might surprise you!)
• And more

Connect with me:

Follow the Show the F*ck Up podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/showthef.up/

Connect with Sondra:

The Secret Place

[email protected]

Resources referenced in the episode:

Tired of Trying to Measure Up: Getting Free from the Demands, Expectations, and Intimidation of Well-Meaning People

By Jeff Van Vonderen https://a.co/d/4WfFPv8

You need to know that if you struggle with anxiety, fear of rejection, or crippling perfectionism - your goals are still achievable!

"The journey of 1000 miles begins with one single step." - Lao Tzu

In today's episode, I invite photographer & artist, Chelsi Smith, to share her experience with Showing the F*ck Up and some of the challenges that might stop us from doing it. We dive into her work as a photographer, the struggle with anxiety, being seen (despite fears of other peoples' perceptions), and ditching perfectionism.

We also talk about the masks so many of us wear that make us look like everything is ok on the outside, but what is really going on on the inside?

Ready to step into this next version of you and Show the F*ck Up for YOURSELF? Join us!

We're exploring:

• Chelsi's work as an artist & her new photography series
• Taking the first step to Show the F*ck Up for your big dreams!
• Ways to help overcome anxiety & other peoples' perceptions
• Not spending our energy worrying about what other people think
• How perfectionism affects creativity - and what you can do about it
• The empowering experience of having my photos taken (in front of lots of people!)
• And more

Connect with Chelsi:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/Chelsi_Smith_Photography/ & https://www.instagram.com/ChelsiSmithPhoto/

Website: https://chelsismithphotography.com/

Connect with me: https://www.instagram.com/jewelsdaly/

And follow the Show the F*ck Up podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/showthef.up/

Is there a healthy alternative to forgiveness?

What if you can't forgive, or simply don't want to?

Join me and my guest, Melissa Moffit, as we explore this powerful concept in this week's episode of Show the F*ck Up!

We explore acceptance as an alternative to forgiveness, honoring the full sweep of our emotions when we've been wronged, and some new ways to look at forgiveness that might change the way you honor your feelings & yourself.

We're exploring:

• Acceptance as the last stage of the grieving process
• If forgiveness is VITAL to moving through hurt
• Acceptance & The Serenity Prayer
• Melissa's 3 steps to help you move into more acceptance
• How to understand your anger as a secondary emotion
• What can happen if you force forgiveness when you aren't ready for it
• And more

Connect with me: https://www.instagram.com/jewelsdaly/

And follow the Show the F*ck Up podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/showthef.up/

Resources mentioned in the episode:

"How Can I Forgive You?" by Janis Abrahms Spring

"After the Affair" by Janis Abrahms Spring

"Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance" by Rosie Molinary

I used to believe things like -

My feelings don't matter.

Showing emotion & being vulnerable is weak.

I just need to "get over it" if I'm feeling any kind of negative emotion.

The truth is, changing these beliefs has been at the center of my transformation because they were keeping me weak and small!!

If you're ready to shift out of these kinds of beliefs and into more emotional strength - this episode is for you! I'm diving into an insightful article written by Dr. Joan Rosenberg that shares findings about how to build confidence and emotional strength by acknowledging, honoring & dealing with our truest feelings.

I'm exploring:

• Questioning & acknowledging our own perceptions of what it means to be emotionally strong
• The 8 MOST COMMON feeling reactions that come up when things are not going the way we want them to (and learning to tolerate and move through them!) these emotions are sadness, shame, helplessness, anger, embarrassment, disappointment, frustration & vulnerability
• A breakdown of the 3 defining elements of emotional strength
• Accepting both parts of our nature - independent AND dependent
• Therapy and/or coaching as a strategy for building more confidence & emotional strength
• And more

Connect with me: And follow the Show the F*ck Up podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/showthef.up/

Shared article on today's episode:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-mastery/201903/how-do-you-develop-emotionally-strong-person

We can all probably agree that many mothers are doing more than their fair share.

But what causes this imbalance in family duties? And how can we equalize the delegation of household tasks and acknowledge what our invisible labor as women and mothers is doing to our self-worth and joy?

In today's episode, therapist and my dear friend, Nicolle Olson, joins me to talk about some of the powerful concepts in the book and documentary, "Fairplay", around domestic gender roles and reframing the balance of responsibility within the home. We discuss how to start asking for more help (because it's not fucking weak to do so!) and recognizing the places where we're feeling resentment so we can trade those in for more "pockets of joy".

We're exploring:

• The concepts of reimagining gender roles & equalizing household tasks from the book & documentary "Fairplay"
• How comparison could be keeping you stuck
• Where you get your worth, and how to tap into more of it!
• Doing it all and feeling resentful
• Negotiating responsibilities in your relationship or marriage
• Recognizing what actually brings you joy & scheduling time for it!
• And more

Journal Prompts:

1. If I feel overwhelmed with my life, write down what I do and look at places where I can make a change.
2. Are there areas that I would like help?
3. Am I willing to honor my needs by asking for help?
4. If not, why? What is the story I am telling myself about believing what I do determines my worth?
5. What is it that really sparks my joy? Little pockets of joy - in my roles or daily life what are the things that bring me joy? ie: my first cup of coffee, savoring the taste, and noticing the smell
6. Who am I? Press into this question, without using roles such as mother, wife, teacher

Follow the Show the F*ck Up podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/showthef.up/

Connect with Nicolle Olson:

[email protected]

Resource mentioned in this episode:

www.Fairplaylife.com

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

How is comparison playing out in your life? Oftentimes, comparison can be the thief of our joy, keeping us from surrendering to our own brilliance and self-trust.

Can you give yourself grace instead? If you can learn to do that, you can do anything.

"Grace is loving, accepting, and forgiving yourself." - Betsy Clark

Are you addicted to struggle? Allowing "SHOULDS" to dictate your life? Giving yourself permission to be who YOU were created to be can change your life!

In today's episode, I invite transformation coach, Betsy Clark, to share her wisdom on comparison and how we can lean into more forgiveness in our lives so we can trust our unique strengths to lead us to who we're meant to be.

We're exploring:

• How comparison could be trapping you & your progress (and what to do about it)
• What grace really is - and why you need it
• How to embrace what we bring to the table AND what we need. BOTH are important to be aware of, to honor and allow.
• Building self-trust
• How the Strength Finder changed my life - and how it can help you better communicate & connect with others
• Self Awareness is about not believing everything you think and questioning your answers
• The words we use and how they relate to how we show TF up in the world
• And more

Follow the Show the F*ck Up podcast on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/showthef.up/

Connect with Betsy:

Grace Cards: https://www.coach2strengths.com/grace-card/

Website: https://www.coach2strengths.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram/coach2strengths.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Coach2Strengths/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/betsyclark55

LinkedIn - biz: https://www.linkedin.com/company/coach2strengths

Resources:

https://www.gallup.com/cliftonstrengths/en/253676/how-cliftonstrengths-works.aspx

Strengthsfinder 2.0 book with access code to take the online test to find your strengths

https://www.amazon.com/Strengthsfinder-2-0-Upgraded-Discover-Strengths/dp/B004YUAQSI/ref=sr_1_5?crid=RZI25XVOT68U&keywords=clifton+strengthsfinder+2.0+with+access+code&qid=1682272927&sprefix=clifton%2Caps%2C155&sr=8-5

You are being called, my Queen. It's time to rise TF up and take your throne, step into who you were always meant to be!

In today's episode, I invite Tessa Lewis, podcast host & longtime student of personal growth, to talk about the inner work it takes to let go of the small, weak patterns of our conditioning and step into our light & strength as women. We discuss the powerful book "A Woman's Worth" by Marianne Williamson, and dive into topics of faith & developing an inner life, the healing practice of journaling, and honoring our internal world by accessing the queen inside all of us.

We're exploring:

• Taking your throne and shifting from slave girl to Queen!
• Holding onto small, weak patterns & fearing our own light (and what to do about it)
• Viewing struggle as a path to strength, power & faith
• Tessa's work with kids in foster care - and how she shows up as a Queen!
• How the powerful practice of journaling has affected our lives
• Doing vs. Being, and a different way to view your worthiness
• And more

Connect with Tessa on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bestselfcollective/

Listen to The Best Self Collective Podcast, wherever you stream your podcasts (coming to Apple Podcasts soon!)

Connect with me: https://www.instagram.com/jewelsdaly/

And follow the Show the F*ck Up podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/showthef.up/