Wackerle has bigger news than Scotland's vote for independence. Never have a threesome with a homeless man. Racist homeowner dries out his porn collection. Phone calls and listener email.

If it was up to Dee Simon, mothers would not walk around naked in front of their sons and football players would not beat their wives and girlfriends. Pomeranian Lo Mein in Northern California. Dim-witted Pedo Golfer hires a hitman. Phone calls.

Dee and Lance share their opinions on #Gamergate, misogynerds, and social justice warriors. Minnesota man needs to refine his courting techniques. Try-hard proposal does not end well. Phone calls.

Who's the biggest asshole: the hacker who posted the leaked celebrity nudes, the tech elite ruining Burning Man or Dee Simon with his hairless cat? Pageant mom uses a novel approach to weight loss. Inmate uses a novel approach to drug smuggling. Phone calls.

Dee and Lance think the protesters in Ferguson, MO could learn some techniques from the King of Pop. Prolific necrophile in Ohio. Creative breakup in Connecticut. Wackerle's magical citrus beard oil. Phone calls.

Dee and Lance try to convince John Steele to become a bounty hunter. Interview with Catherine Duff, President of the Fecal Transplant Foundation. Phone calls.

http://thefecaltransplantfoundation.org/

Dee and Lance think the new SketchFactor app should be used to find drugs and hookers. Ugly Frenchies kick a squirrel off the Grand Canyon. Adult juggalos learn that a knife is not the best tool for tattoo removal. Phone calls.

Sign the petition to for Weird Al to play the halftime show at Super Bowl XLIX: http://tinyurl.com/lh3gour

Apparently, Uber and Lyft drivers get a lot of ass. Butt Smuggler turned Fart Puncher. Terminally ill children need to make better wishes. Phone calls.

Apparently, Uber and Lyft drivers get a lot of ass. Butt Smuggler turned Fart Puncher. Terminally ill children need to make better wishes. Phone calls.

Dee wants Lance to head to Comic-Con 2014 so they can wear sexy Ren and Stimpy outfits. Michigan man's ejaculate not up to par. Historical object found in Scottish box. Phone calls.